Everywhere I go online today, there is shit about Fifty Shades of Grey. I guess there’s a new trailer out, or maybe it’s the first trailer.
I can’t tell you how good it feels to not be interested in this trailer! Not only am I not interested in the trailer, I am not interested in reactions to the trailer!
I can’t wait to not see the actual movie., just as I couldn’t wait to not read the book or learn anything about its author. I admit to having a perverse fondness for really bad writing, and the few excerpts I saw were weapons-grade awful. So kudos to whatshername who wrote it.
Who would like to join me in taking a pledge to not watch this trailer? Maybe we can come up with a badge or membership card or something.
The state of pop culture is so abysmal that it may seem pointless to single out one offender as being too base or stupid to countenance. But I’m drawing my line anyway.
Big deal about bondage, S&M, doms and subs. Just don’t bother me with fifty shades of anything unless it’s red lipstick.
I hadn’t heard that Justin Theroux‘s penis was an issue until I read a quote from Liv Tyler, his co-star in that awful new HBO series.
“There was this scene where he was jogging, and there was quite a large bulge in his sweatpants and it was all over.”
Now I find that Justin’s penis is not just a huge distraction but a huge distraction. There are all kinds of pictures of his crotch, especially in sweatpants. Let’s have another look.
You know what, I don’t like this penis. What is it doing? Why is it down there, did it fall? Where’s the rest of it? And why can’t he wear underwear? I’m starting to hate him.
I have vague recollections of liking Marky Mark‘s penis.
This looks more appetizing. Renaldo and Beckham aren’t bad either.
I don’t think we girls like men for their silhouette in sweats or briefs. A man’s brain is so important when it comes to real attraction. A hot guy who says something stupid is a waste of hotness. Justin Theroux needs to stop giving interviews so I don’t have to feel worse about him than I already do.
He needs to put up or shut up, with regard to Jennifer Aniston. He needs to stop talking about his clothes. He needs to stop hanging out with Terry Richardson and he needs to give up that whole biker charade.
Most of all, he needs to either show us his penis so we can figure out if it’s anatomically sound, or put on some fucking underpants so Live Tyler can resume whatever it is she’s trying to do.
If you’ve always sensed some nothingness in the work of celebrated performance diva artist Marina Abramovic, you’ll be glad to know it’s official.
Discussing her new work at the Serpentine Gallery, her first since The Artist is Present, she says:
I had this vision of an empty gallery — nothing there.
So far, so good. So radical and avant garde! Her show is called “512 Hours,” the amount of time she will be present at the gallery, where patrons will enter an empty room and do nothing, or something.
There is just me. And the public. It is insane what I try to do.
Oh Marina, you kook! You bring the nothing, and we love you for it! Well, I don’t, but whatever.The gallery’s curators have received a number of letters, accusing Abramovic and the gallery of failing to acknowledge the work of Mary Ellen Carroll, a New York-based conceptual artist who has been working on a project called “Nothing” since 1984, describing it as “an engagement with the public.”
The Serpentine’s curator admits that many artists (including John Cage and Yoko Ono) have explored the relationship between art and nothingness. The matter is far from settled but Abramovic has responded a bit defensively:
It’s not that I’m doing nothing — quite the opposite. It’s just that there is nothing except people in the space.
See, you idiots? You fucking philistines! Back off. Get out of her grille.
I like this paragraph about Marina, from a profile at CNN online: “She has danced with Jay Z in his music video, counts James Franco and Lady Gaga as loyal fans and friends, and was named as one of Time Magazine’s most influential people of 2014.”
I think it sums up her place in our culture, although I also believe there was a time when she was a genuine artist with something to say.
Meanwhile, if you want, you can watch her sell out to Adidas, below.
I discovered this new video because it features my darling Iggy Azalea. I had no idea who T.I was, that’s how ignorant I am.
But now I know, and Knowing is the First Step.
Anyway, T.I. is somewhat controversial, but that’s due to his personal life. “No Mediocre” is just a standard rap song evidently, and yet it is so rich in poetry. Let me share some of the lyrics:
Right hand in the air
I solemnly swear
I never fuck a bitch if she don’t do her hair
No more, you won’t get no dick if there’s a bush down there
Girl I should see nothing but pussy when I look down there
Fair enough. Got it.
However, rap genius offers choices in interpreting the heartfelt couplet about dick with regard to bush.
See? He has standards. But if a bitch meet the standards, here is what will happen:
Out here trying to find someone that better than my last go Take her to my castle Drown her in my cash flow
Okay! Again, got it. But I like this clarification from rap genius:
“T.I. would like to find a female that looks better than his last, if that’s possible since he all he fuck is bad bitches.”
And with a net worth of around $50 million, T.I. can afford to be discriminating with his bitches, and he don’t want no bitch that will settle for mediocre either. It’s all good.