Dear Abby Chastity Belt

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For a brief shining moment or two, I was blessed with the opportunity to work for “Dear Abby“, the beloved newspaper advice columnist. For many years, the column has been written by the daughter of the original “Abby”, who is afflicted with Alzheimer’s Disease.

The daughter, Jeanne, is the type of woman one might call a Real Piece of Work. Her office was a world unlike any other; I can only describe it as a Mad Tea-Party.

My most treasured souvenir of this experience is a set of handcrafted chastity belts, sent in by one of Abby’s many ardent admirers. They  are fashioned out of hammered stainless steel, and lined with the alarming pelts of some small dead animal. One has been engraved with the name “Dear Abby”, and the other….less specific but no less affectionate….says simply: “Pussy Cat.”

While they clearly deserve permanent installation at the Smithsonian,  at present  they are on display in a paper bag underneath my bedroom dresser.

4 Responses to “Dear Abby Chastity Belt”

  1. Amy Says:

    ROFL!

  2. Mark Poirier Says:

    Mother of God! I was hoping to never see anything like that. Do I have to go to confession now? Vile. Vile. Vi-L!!!!

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