Godammit, I’m Mad!

I thought those satin turbans in all the Prada ads were kind of stupid, until I came across this guy. Now, I’m thinking “Turbans….great idea!”

(I found this photo at fashionologie, where there is always something to inspire.)

sprachgefühl is a German word that means: an intuitive sense of what is linguistically appropriate.

Thanks to my sprachgefühl, the use of the word disconnect as a noun has become an agonizing insult to my ears. I have even coined a German word to express this pain: wortschmerz. Feel free to use it, especially around people who use disconnect when they’re not talking about a toaster.

I’m still trying to recall what word was previously used before the D word became fashionable. Disparity? Discrepancy? Divergence? Or how about gap?

Meanwhile, I’ve discoverd the website unwords.com, where I found the word cryiest, which I like. As in “that’s the cryiest movie I’ve ever seen!”

I know this makes me a hypocrite, but  actually,  according to this , I’m not. I just have a double standard.

I am still concerned about Starving Girl, at Shopbop. She has a strange look on her face here, like she’s thinking of eating the photographer. Take a bite, Starving girl, you need the calories!

Don’t complain that I never call your attention to something nice! I know I’m kind of negative, but that’s just how I roll. These jeans are really special. Just read the description:

Stitch’s Totem Sterling Jeans
SKU: STI01274
SKU: SWTOTS48
This is easily the most amazingly luxurious skinny jean we have ever encountered. Stitch’s has pulled out all the stops with their incredibly decadent details: all the buttons are hand crafted sterling silver, accented with natural tahitian black pearls. A little tomahawk is provided to remove these fabulous gems before washing. The jean itself is a beautiful skinny cut in a dark indigo wash, with its own individual serial number. This exclusive creation is a limited edition, and Blue Bee is one of the few places at which it is available!
 
$878.00
 

As a public service, I will be reviewing movies that haven’t come out yet. I haven’t seen them, but that’s not important. I have seen them in my mind’s eye, and that’s enough.

Reign Over Me is a shameless tearjerker about Friendship, starring the always awful Adam Sandler and the overworked Don Cheadle. It manages to use Sept. 11 as a device to generate pathos,  without having anything worthwhile to say about it. It makes me sick to even think about this movie, which is the work of Mike Binder, a hack who wrote one of the worst TV series ever, The Mind of  a Married Man.

Grindhouse is an over-the-top shocker designed to get people all worked up about cinematic violence. Full of disturbing imagery, it features an amputee super-woman on a killing spree. A big mash-up of B-movie references so that hipsters can feel clever when they watch it. Blood everywhere, surf guitar, basically the work of a bankrupt imagination, masquerading as social comment. No no no, take it away!

The Hills Have Eyes 2 is a predictable  sequel. Everyone screams a lot and blood squirts all over everything. Bad things happen to youngish good-looking people. A movie for people who like video game violence but don’t want to go to Iraq. A waste of time and money unless you’re a 15 year old boy with  poor social skills.

The Nanny Diaries is a mildly amusing story without much of a plot, but Scarlett Johansson has a nice bustline. Alicia Keys can’t really act but has an endearing presense. Laura Lynney does her best to play a wealthy mean bitch, with the hugely irritating Paul Giamatti as her husband. Lots of shots of upper class New York give it a pseudo-Woody Allen quality. This movie would make an okay rental when nothing better is available.

There you have it!  Let me know if you have any requests.
 

This is so not good. I can’t even begin to say how not good it is.

This little device allows you to monitor what someone is doing on their computer in real time, and they have no way of knowing it. You can monitor both sides of instant message chats! You can store 12 months of activity logs on your Snoopstick, which fits handily on your keychain.

For only $59.95, you can bust your spouse, your lover, your kid, or in the case of my kid, your mom.

I will be keeping my computer in a locked safe from now on. Shit.

Pretty soon, there won’t be enough beds in rehab for all the gay bashers shooting their mouths off. We’ve got that idiot Pace, we’ve got Garrison Keillor, we’ve got Ann Coulter, we’ve got Hillary and Obama refusing to disagree that “homosexuality is immoral” and most pathetic of all, we’ve got evangelists and the godamm pope, all egging on the haters.

Read what the Pope’s buddy Rev. Joseph Fessio has to say on the subject and then try to figure out what’s really bothering these freaks.

Patti Smith was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, as if she didn’t already hold a place among the gods. She seemed so happy to accept the award, so I’m happy, too.  She is my lifelong idol, and a symbol of hope and integrity. Go here to watch her performance.

If her acceptance speech doesn’t bring a tear to your eyes, I don’t wanna hear about it.

Thank god Marc Jacobs is safely in rehab! I know I’m a little late on this tragic handbag, but now that I’ve  seen it, I can see it was a cry for help.  Where were Marc’s friends when he designed this $42,000 bag for Louis Vuitton?  Much like Britney’s, they were apparently too timid to give him the Tough Love he needed.

God bless you, Marc, and stay strong. We are rooting for you to get well.

Oh god, ’whore’ is just a schoolyard taunt. I’m only kidding! What I meant is that she’s a cunt.