Are You Worried About Angry Monkeys?

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I’ve been worried ever since that birthday cake chimp attack, so it’s good to have some advice on this subject. Slate tells us how to behave around an angry monkey, but I think the first step is to avoid New Delhi.

And of course, if an angry monkey approaches you, don’t make eye contact and don’t smile. Kind of like when you’re in an elevator or ¬†at Neiman Marcus.

3 Responses to “Are You Worried About Angry Monkeys?”

  1. hoochiegucci Says:

    I like it when dolphins attack the fat toursists hanging on their backs. Watched a whole show on it. Fascinating.

  2. Mark Says:

    There’s an angry racoon who lives under our house and terrorizes me when I have the nerve to type at the kitchen table past 2 AM. Not so cute.

  3. Marty Says:

    Monkeys have the potential to inherit the earth. Most primates possess a greater physical strength than their homo-sapien counterparts which could prove the difference in an inter-species war of sorts. As one of the leaders of the animal kingdom, monkeys have a great responsibility to lead an animal revolt against their humanoid overlords. The greatest challenge the monkey led animal revolt must face, is the deep division between the monkey breeds themselves, and divisions between other species and monkeys; for example, the lion alliance. Lions have long stated a distaste for the crass behaviours of the monkeys, of course, this difference must be overcome if the monkeys are to overthrow homo sapiens as rulers of Earth.

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