Godammit, I’m Mad!

I was thrilled to learn that I am not alone in my fixation on the Shopbop Girls. They are under discussion at other blogs, where people have a variety of opinions. Most of us want to make fun of Sad Redhead Girl, and quite rightly.

Now, Shopbop is celebrating diversity by giving us Ethnic Girl, who looks kind of Eskimo or I don’t know what. Take a look.

There is also Miserable Black Girl, who is clearly thinking, “Why am I hear and look how they’ve fucked up my hair by ironing it!”

For no reason I can think of, they are giving alot of play to Forehead Girl, who is very pale and blah, and is often required to expose her expanse of forehead.

I can’t decide whether I like or hate the Posh-bobbed Attitude Girl, who always tries to glare or at least look vaguely defiant. Check her out.

I wonder if anyone ever buys anything from Shopbop? I think it’s all about the Girls, and their tragic babydoll mini-dresses.   

If It Were Up to Me
Words and Lyrics by:
Cheryl Wheeler

Maybe it’s the movies, maybe it’s the books
Maybe it’s the bullets, maybe it’s the real crooks
Maybe it’s the drugs, maybe it’s the parents
Maybe it’s the colors everybody’s wearin
Maybe it’s the President, maybe it’s the last one
Maybe it’s the one before that, what he done
Maybe it’s the high schools, maybe it’s the teachers
Maybe it’s the tattooed children in the bleachers
Maybe it’s the Bible, maybe it’s the lack
Maybe it’s the music, maybe it’s the crack
Maybe it’s the hairdos, maybe it’s the TV
Maybe it’s the cigarettes, maybe it’s the family
Maybe it’s the fast food, maybe it’s the news
Maybe it’s divorce, maybe it’s abuse
Maybe it’s the lawyers, maybe it’s the prisons
Maybe it’s the Senators, maybe it’s the system
Maybe it’s the fathers, maybe it’s the sons
Maybe it’s the sisters, maybe it’s the moms
Maybe it’s the radio, maybe it’s road rage
Maybe El Nino, or UV rays
Maybe it’s the army, maybe it’s the liquor
Maybe it’s the papers, maybe the militia
Maybe it’s the athletes, maybe it’s the ads
Maybe it’s the sports fans, maybe it’s a fad
Maybe it’s the magazines, maybe it’s the internet
Maybe it’s the lottery, maybe it’s the immigrants
Maybe it’s taxes, big business
Maybe it’s the KKK and the skinheads
Maybe it’s the communists, maybe it’s the Catholics
Maybe it’s the hippies, maybe it’s the addicts
Maybe it’s the art, maybe it’s the sex
Maybe it’s the homeless, maybe it’s the banks
Maybe it’s the clearcut, maybe it’s the ozone
Maybe it’s the chemicals, maybe it’s the car phones
Maybe it’s the fertilizer, maybe it’s the nose rings
Maybe it’s the end, but I know one thing.
If it were up to me, I’d take away the guns.
(P) October 1, 1997