Archive for May, 2008

The Tudors: Farewell, Pignose!

Saturday, May 31st, 2008

I was surprised to find my self addicted to The Tudors, on Showtime, which just had its season finale last week.   It seemed pretty stupid the first time I watched it. That Jonathan Rhys Meyers is such a terrible actor. He seems to think he’s playing Elvis most of the time, or else he’s just glaring insanely. And I’m not really interested in historical drama.

What drew me in was the unforgettable face of Natalie Dormer as Anne Boleyn. She has what I consider a pig nose, in the best sense of the term. It’s so turned up, you could look right into it. And she held that pignose high, even into death. ( At least I think she did, because I had to close my eyes for that.)

Every Sunday night, I curled up on the couch to see that nose. The production values were excellent, the costumes were beautiful, the plot was full of intrigue, but for me it was all about Natalie Dormer. Her trajectory from devious minx to a deeply tragic figure was so gripping, and superbly acted.   And at the center of her performance was her nose.

I miss her already. I couldn’t care less about Season 3. They’re all dead to me now.

The Lourdes Project

Friday, May 30th, 2008

I was obliged to find some photos of Madonna’s daughter Lourdes for a work project. I think Lourdes is a beautiful little girl, but at eleven years old, she is already blessed with an impressive unibrow and moustache.

The moustache is going to be quite noteworthy as she moves through puberty. What does everybody think?

Should Lourdes stick with her natural beauty and perhaps look towards joining a circus, or should she succumb to Western culture and seek electrolysis?

Remember, it was once said of Gertrude Stein that when she entered a room, she made other women’s upper lips look positively naked!

Moss Design Online

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

Moss is a design store with a great online shop full of stuff to drool over or laugh at or both. I love this necklace by Katja Prins, called Bound by Blood.   It “represents prayer necklaces from differing religions, and is stained in red to represent the blood that has been shed in the name of religion.” Amen.

What I really want from Moss is this set of exquisite dolls, called “les bebes du monde.” In fact, I need them.   Only three months till my birthday!

I am the Meanest Person Alive

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

A close friend was asked her opinion of a profile for a “dating site” by a guy she barely knows. She showed it to me and we laughed our heads off. We are just a couple of cunts. It can’t be helped. She told the guy that his profile was great and that “the hotties will flock to him.”

Here it is, unedited.

———————————————————————————–

I work hard during the week in London, i enjoy visiting bars and clubs likemahiki, nobo, pigall, jazz clubs, salsa bars, fantastic restaurants,cocktailbars. I go to the gym two to three times a week. Love the beach,bit of a sun bum.

Flewn around the Statue of Liberty and over New York in a helicopter – MetAnt & Dec and various pop stars like Ashanti at the CD UK studios – Sat next to Jools Holland as he played at a concert – Met Frank Lampard and John Terry at the Chelsea training ground – Worked for ond of the British Touring Car teams -Had my own business at 21 – sailed in wild seas on a catameran of the coast of Cuba – parascended off the coast of Tunisia – Flewn in the****pit of a big passenger plane when it came into land at Gran Canaria -

Watched Spain versus England with Howard from Take That in a bar in Spain -Eaten sugar straight from a sugar beat plantation – driven one of the fastest passenger power boats – as i was goind along on my jet ski off the coast of Florida dolphins strted to spring out the wter nd followed me – put on concerts.

favourite book – alchamist. favourite film – jerry mcquire “show me the money”

I like to make the most of life and quite like the finer things in life but i also like stuff like sitting in a field, having a picnic and picking out shapes in the clouds – i love the beach – really like trying different restaurants – enjoy curling up on the sofa and watching a good film – i love cuddles – im an affectionate guy- kind hearted – love a bit of romance.

What’s With the Scarves?

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008

I can’t understand the proliferation of these ugly long scarves. What’s the deal? If it’s freezing outside, fine, but with a t-shirt in Los Angeles? The scarf thing is now tantamount to the hat thing.

If you’re not Lindsay Lohan or a tracheotomy patient, you don’t need one of these awful scarves.

If you’ve had a tracheotomy, or plan to give Lindsay one, try this instead.

UPDATE   (5-28-08): Ooh, now I see there’s some shit going on over here about Rachel Ray wearing this kind of awful scarf and being compared to a terrorist.   As always, Sister Wolf has her finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist.

Now I’m Mad Again (The Power of Not Now)

Monday, May 26th, 2008

I don’t know much about that Eckhart Tolle character beyond the facts that he writes best-sellers, Oprah likes him and his name is funny. But I feel a seething hatred brewing for The Power of Now.

I just landed on a blog called Evolving Beings, which purports to ‘share wisdom and spiritual enlightenment.’ I patiently read a long post about someone deciding to rid herself of her jewelry collection. She goes on and on about how your “stuff” is really dead weight, just a product of materialism, not essential to Who You Really Are. So I’m reading and reading and then I get to the part where she takes the jewelry to a pawn shop and sells it for a fraction of what it’s worth.

What the fuck?!

Please join me in thinking, What a crock of shit!   Is selling your jewelry a way to rid yourself of the burden of materialism? And to a pawn shop! A business that profits off the misery of the desperate? Why didn’t this Spirituality Seeker just donate her jewelry to a charity? In my own neighborhood, there are thrift-shops that benefit AIDS, cancer research, drug rehabilitation and homeless shelters.

Godammit, I am enraged by this example of hypocrisy and stupidity. I hereby launch my own movement called The Power of Not Now  . You heard it here first. You can join up today, or you can wait until I devise its 5 Sacred Tenets. The first will be (duh!) “Why do now what you can put off until later?”

The second will be “Hang on to Your Jewelry!”

Transabled: A Whole New World!

Sunday, May 25th, 2008

There I was, minding my own business, and by that I mean I was trying to research a disorder called somatoparaphrenia, when I came across a blog called Transabled.org.

It’s like a mini-mother lode for anyone who’s ever been curious about Body Integrity Identity Disorder. You know, the one where people feel that they can’t be happy unless they have a limb amputated. You have to love it. I actually saw a documentary about it, featuring several British guys with BIID.   The Britishness was an excellent counterpoint to the disorder: It was like a surreal Monty Python sketch.

Anyway, over at this blog, there is a discussion about the disabled community’s ‘ableism’ in refusing to acknowledge the transabled as deserving of sympathy. Since ‘transabled’ is defined in the blog as ‘wanting to be disabled,’ you can see the problem.

I love disorders! Somatoparaphrenia is the delusion that one of your limbs belongs to someone else, like your doctor or even a stranger.   It could be useful, like if you punch someone in the face you could blame your doctor! Or in my case, I could tell my husband that my new tattoo (which he hates) is actually on the wrist of someone we don’t even know!

I’ll try this when he gets home.

It’s Finally Here!

Sunday, May 25th, 2008

The Cunty Tote, just what we’ve been waiting for, now available from Patricia Field.

What an unusual, ahem, online site it is!   I can’t tell if it’s trying to make me sick or what. However, I actually want these sequin shorts, just because Chanel made some, remember? Thank god they’re out of stock.

Visions of Hair

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

Now, this is hair! Do you love it or do you love it!

I believe these hair sculptures are the work of Nagi Noda. I hope Amy has seen these.

A Morrissey Experience

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

Last night, the entire Sister Wolf family got off our asses and went to see the Dresden Dolls perform at the Wiltern. The Sons were intent on standing right by the stage, and did so.

The Husband and I chose to take one of the few tables in the back of the theater, the better to have a drink and sit our two asses back down. It’s not like I can’t stand up for hours and scream my head off if I want to, but last night I didn’t want to, and here’s why:   Because god in his infinite wisdom wanted to let me cast my eyes upon Morrissey, who stood just a few feet away from me!

If you don’t revere Morrissey, it may be due to your lack of cultural literacy, i.e. you haven’t heard his masterpiece, “I Know It’s Over.”   I admit that until I heard it, I just thought of Morrissey as an interesting songwriter with an arresting persona.

Then, I heard Jeff Buckley’s version of I Know It’s Over, and my heart nearly imploded from its beauty and intensity.   It is one of the most exquisitely poetic songs of all time. You can read the lyrics here.

So there was Morrissey, but one can hardly go up to him and bother him when his whole deal is about being alone and asexual. For an asexual man, he is pretty damn unbelievably attractive.

So, shit, I now wish I could have taken a photo or kissed the hem of his robe. But he’ll always be there when I close my eyes.

The Dresden Dolls were terrific, and they basked in the love of their hardcore fans, who tended toward the Disenfranchised…..the strange, the fat, the emaciated, the ambiguously gendered and of course, the Queer. God bless them every one, and Jeff Buckley too, may his soul rest in peace.