Hideous Shoes To Brighten Your Life

Earlier today, I was very annoyed by a crazy bitch who’s been taunting me online. But then I realized that if I had to go around kicking the ass of every single person I’ve somehow pissed off, I’d have no time for anything else.

Even better, I came across these godforsaken boots at Neiman Marcus, and my life was once again filled with joy. Who would buy these monstrosities?!   Besides Cher and Pamela Anderson, I mean.

They are priced at $395, a small price to pay for all this grotesque ugliness! Just try deciding which pair is worse!

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21 Responses to “Hideous Shoes To Brighten Your Life”

  1. kellie Says:

    How funny you saw these too!!!
    Saturday, we noticed them online. I threatened several friends with them as Christmas gifts.
    I think that anal bleaching is a better option, myself.
    xxx

  2. Sister Wolf Says:

    Hahahahahaha!

  3. rohit Says:

    It certainly is awesome….but yeah, needs a closure of some kind!

  4. Susan Says:

    Uh oh, at first glance I thought you were liking these atrocious clodhoppers. They would go nicely with some acid washed jeans. Another fashion item that’s resurfaced but shouldn’t have, dontgetmestarted.

    How have you been feeling? Any better?

  5. Charponnaise Says:

    The first ones are clearly worse [and therefore better] because they cover every base of hideosity. They combine the intrinsic ugliness of the Ugg with heinous Kid Rock styling, PLUS they have a trite message on the back. What better way to piss your money down the drain?

  6. marmalade wombat Says:

    i would like to see the first pair worn by the pope. or a christian rock band

  7. WendyB Says:

    Teh Internets are filled with crazy bitches, malware and spam.

  8. Iheartfashion Says:

    Yikes! Those are indeed some of the ugliest shoes I’ve ever seen.

  9. K-Line Says:

    Somehow, the ugly black ones are more noxious than the ugly brown ones. Impressive.

  10. The Nag Says:

    OMG I’m having such trouble choosing. Oh fuck it, I’ll buy both pairs.

  11. enc Says:

    If you have to say you’re rock and roll, then you automatically are NOT. And any chance you ever had of being so is retroactively eliminated.

    It’s kind of like calling something “classy.” Once you do that, it’s retroactively NOT classy.

    I read your thingy on the b!tch that was up in your grill, and was all prepared to comment, but the post was gone. Might I submit that she’s got too much time on her hands. Perhaps her moments might be better spent searching for these “rock and roll” boots.

  12. fashionherald Says:

    oh…my…Neiman Marcus, seriously? you can get these at Rainbow for $14.99.

  13. Sonja Says:

    ‘hideosity’… my new favorite word.

  14. Sonja Says:

    ‘that bitch that was up in your grill’… I’m gonna use that too. These boots have proven to be very useful for me so far.

  15. hammie Says:

    Oh no, I LIKE em!
    Ugg boots come full circle. When I was a wee gal, the only people(Bogans) who wore uggies (outside the home) also wore tight jeans (candida tight) black AC-DC (preferably Bonn Scott RIP) t-shirts, plaid shirts and had an obligatory 30 pack of the cheapest ciggarettes in either the pocket of the shirt (called a flanney) or in the arm of their t-shirt.
    Now that all the above (save the ciggies) are post ironic modern Kate Moss/Sienna Miller trendy. What is a bogan to do?

    xx
    (in truth, they actually wrote things like Bon Scott RIP on their Uggies with a black marker)

  16. Sister Wolf Says:

    Susan – YES, acid-washed jeans, OR juicy couture sweatpants with the word JUICY on the butt. You should be a stylist. (Much better every day, thanks xo)

    Charponaise – so true.

    Miss Wombat: Hahaha

    WendyB – truer words never spoken

    Nag – I have to say that displaying the words LOVIN LIFE on your attire is the funniest, stupidest thing anyone could ever do

    Enc – too god damn right. I like to think of ‘classy’ as a self-negating word.

    Sonja – not only in my grill, but all up in my shit!

    Hammie – I’m off to google “bogans”. I only know about “chavs” and “pikeys”

  17. Imelda Matt Says:

    hammie speaks the truth…RIP Bon Scott on one’s ugg boots was seen as fitting tribute to a man who chocked on his own vomit! Send the crazy bitch my way, let her see what real crazy looks like.

    ps are you speaking of recovery anytime soon…how are you doing?

  18. Sister Wolf Says:

    I am stronger every day, Imelda Matt. Thank you for asking. xo

  19. Make Do & Mend Says:

    I say make chip smith wear them and seriously he’d wish he’d hadn’t been born!

  20. Mark Says:

    UGG Boots and Ed Hardy (is that the brand?): VILE. These are THE SICKEST shoes (or should I say, “This is the sickest shoe”?) you’ve ever featured. SO SICK! New Jersey mall trash, fake-titted chicks from the Valley, fat cougars…

  21. Sister Wolf Says:

    Wow, Mark, I see you’re really feeling these boots.

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