Nothing relieves the tension and agony of this election like a good laugh, and you can get your fill by watching these excerpts of an interview Mrs. P gave to some Christian Broadcasting guy. She probably thinks that only her fan-base will be listening to this bullshit but no ma’am, we at PAP Smear are here to share the joy.
Here, you can watch Mrs. P proclaim that she stands by the ‘terrorist’ crap she lobbed at Obama. Watch her hand movements. She’s either a hula dancer or it’s a secret code to The Faithful.
Here, she explains why she couldn’t didn’t answer Katie Couric’s question about newspapers. It is so full of shit, so boldly false and brazenly self-serving, you will want to smash her in the face.
Now I know I sound enraged and resentful, but guess what? It’s a disorder called Palin Derangment Syndrome, according to this essay. Elsewhere, I read that Jewish women are more likely to resent Mrs. than any other group. Why, I have no idea. I do know that Sandra Bernhard got in trouble for calling her a “Goy Whore.” I wish I’d thought of that first, but I’m a non-observant Jew so my mind forgets to go in that direction.
I know I’m fixated on this awful woman for reasons both rational and unconscious but I’m going with it in the fervent hope that it will be over on November 5th. Meanwhile, imagine getting a robocall from Sarah Palin….or listen to a real one!
Also too, as she herself would say, being a person who must connect everything with “Also too,” her official website as Governor of Alaska is absolutely hilarious. There’s a page about “The First Gentleman,” which now sounds stupider than the First Dude, given what we know about this dope.
My personal favorite is this letter to Trig. (It’s long, but full of Palinesque craziness.)
Dear Trig, Trig Paxson Van Palin. What a terrific name! Trig, we in Alaska are so proud to have you in our Alaskan family. I look forward to seeing you grow into a fine young man. You are definitely blessed to be born into a family that has lots of love to give to you, your sisters, and brother. I don’t know your mom and dad personally, although I have gotten a couple of photos with your mom and have talked casually with your dad. They wouldn’t know me from Adam (or should I say Eve). Because your mom and dad are in the spotlight, we Alaskans feel we know themâ€š and are proud of what we see. Andâ€š because of that, we had the pleasure of knowing when you were born. Even though your mom is Governor, I see she’s a regular person. I was getting out of my car in Wasilla, and who should get out of the car next to me? Your mom. And do you know what she was doing? Picking up her own cleaning from the dry cleaners. Now, how many governors would do that? She’s a person that’s very smart, but still is a regular person. I’m sure you already know how much your mom and dad love you. I’m also sure you know how important your sisters and brother are and that they love you also. That love is what’s going to make your life a good life. Trig, the most important thing I see in your life is that your mom and dad know the Lord, Jesus personally. How wonderful for you to be born into a Christian family! I hope and pray that as you get older, you will follow in your parents’ footsteps and find the Lord, Jesus as your best friend. Take care, Trig! It’s been nice talking to you! Very sincerely–Jan, Wasilla
Jan, not to freak you out or anything, but Mrs. Palin is refusing to make her medical records public. Maybe you should take it up with the Lord. Very sincerely, Sister Wolf.