Poor Piper’s Pickled Peppers

Oh dear, I thought I had my rant all in order until I checked out the Huffington Post just now. While Mrs. P prepared scrumptious mooseburgers for the family, Little Piper was walking around in high heels under her bootleg pants. Not mommy’s shoes, since they appeared to fit her nicely. Is this child abuse, or am I thinking about the fake Louis Vuitton handbag?

Either way, something’s not right. Poor little Piper admits that campaigning with her mom was really hard. When asked by Matt Lauer if she’d like mommy to run again in 2012, Piper doesn’t know. When mommy prompts her in a scary fake voice, Piper corrects herself. Sure, she’d love it!

Meanwhile, Trig is passed around like a hot potato, giving everyone in the kitchen a chance to show how nice it is to share the family mascot. Don’t drop him, Piper!

Earlier today, I watched the interview with whatshername, that Fox TV woman with the frozen face. Mrs. Palin scoffs at the bad press she’s received, blamin’ those bloggers who are “probably sittin’ in the basement of their parents’ home, wearin pajamas.”

Haha, Sarah, you nut! You must be thinkin’ of Wayne’s World. Lots of us Mean Bloggers have our own homes, and we’re wearing some ugly Sass and Bide Rats or maybe something from Neiman Marcus that we bought with our own Neiman Marcus card!

And then, she defends herself about the shopping extravaganza, saying the money had to cover clothes for eight people. So let’s see. Five kids, one husband. Oh! She must be including Levi, who wore a suit to the RNC and then went back to shit-kicking in the Ozarks or wherever.

Wasn’t I silly to think we’d get some relief from this motor-mouthed fruitcake?! Tomorrow, it’s Larry King, who will be rendered totally helpless when she winks at him.

Ugh! I hope Oprah hangs tough about banning Mrs. Palin from her show. Let’s all write to Oprah right now, begging her to stay the course.

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21 Responses to “Poor Piper’s Pickled Peppers”

  1. OMGGMAB Says:

    Does Matt Lauer have way too much time on his hands? Who the hell cares what Piper thinks or what the Palin kitchen looks like. What an f’n waste of money to fly a crew up to Alaska to interview them. To what end? To hear more lies? My parents clothed a family of nine and I can assure you they didn’t spend $150,000 on clothing in 15 years let alone in 15 minutes! That kind of spending is the epitome of greed and precisely why McSpalin didn’t win the election. They are out of touch with “regular” Americans. Please let them fade into the Alaskan sunset. (Right after she tells us where she bought that baby!)

  2. sleepy Says:

    Bought?
    That child was snatched from some Alaskan Walmart!

  3. HelOnWheels Says:

    Aaawwww. Isn’t that sweet. Piper is being prepped for her own “career” in the pageant world.

  4. Iheartfashion Says:

    Piper teetering around in those heels while holding baby Trig is an accident waiting to happen!
    I’m with you Sister, I just can’t stop hating Palin. I hope she runs in 2012!

  5. enc Says:

    I hope Oprah stays strong. She’s pretty powerful and influential, and could sway a lot of opinions.

  6. Bex Says:

    The Palins are just tacky and no amount of money can make them look like classy people. Some people have it and some people don’t! Oh yeah, Lindsay Lohan calling Obama “a colored president?” Was she born in the 50’s??

  7. fashion herald Says:

    oh, my, god, why is that child wearing heels? and carrying a baby?

  8. Aja Says:

    Mrs. Palin should know when I sit in my parent’s house grimacing about my raging dislike for her, I am mostly never in the basement and I usually am wearing Vivienne Westwood, which I bought with money from my own bank account.

  9. cker Says:

    Hmm. I wonder if Palin is aware that the first hints of attention about her as a political figure were brought about by a university student (Stanford, I think) on his BLOG. What? What’s that? A BLOG?!!! That’s right, Sarah. Some jerk ass kid sitting in his parent’s basement was the first imbecile to think Palin has anything to offer our country. Once again Palin has gaffed. Will she ever SHUT UP? This Palin thing is becoming a full time job!

  10. Sister Wolf Says:

    IF ONLY SHE WOULD SHUT UP!

    I wrote to Oprah, that’s all I can think of that’s not a capital crime. I really really need her to stop talking.

  11. Juri Says:

    Piper did a lot better in that interview than her mother did in hers. Answering “Yeah” (with a giggle) to almost every question would have been a smart thing to do for Palin as well. “Yeah, a lot of Bush doctrine, Charlie (*giggles*)”

    Maybe they should let Piper run for President in 2012. She’d be at least as qualified as here mother.

    But didn’t Oprah already welcome Palin to her show?

    http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2008/11/oprah-to-palin.html

  12. Make Do Style Says:

    Yeah totally radical dude us bloggers! That freak should get a life and if Oprah breaks the code then she is ….well I’m sure she’ll stay strong.

  13. OMGGMAB Says:

    Ah, Sleepy, you are correct! Trig should be on a milk carton now so his real mommy can claim him.

  14. Mark Says:

    Those poor kids. I know a gay couple in Connecticut who would take them, educate them, teach them about fashion, and make sure they go off to top colleges. Actually, it’s too late for the pregnant one, and Track needs to go to rehab. I’m sure his SATs are too low to meet our parenting needs, anyway. Trig should go back to his real family. We’ll take the two middle girls. We’ll buy them clothes and handbags with our own money, tutor them to get them up to speed with the local schoolgirls, and provide a beautiful mid-century modern home. I smell Vassar and Wellesley, liberal lefty values, a healthy wanderlust, and two fathers who won’t impregnate them like their biological father would.

  15. cker Says:

    Oh snap, Mark! Wonderful idea. I can take little Trig. I have 4 boys and Trig will fit right in. I would feel compelled to change his name though. As a mother of 2 learning disabled and special needs children and an RN I feel that I am uniquely qualified to provide a stable and loving home to Trig. When should I expect delivery of the baby?

  16. Sister Wolf Says:

    Hey, wait a minute here, I might want Willow. She’s so pretty and she may not be pregnant yet. But shit, my parenting skills are no good. Never mind.

    I’m very excited about this, Mark and cker!!!!!!!!!!

  17. Mark Says:

    Can PAP Smear help with all the paperwork?

  18. cker Says:

    SW your parenting skills undoubtably surpass those of Willow’s mother so she would be much better off with you. Think of the fashion sense she would have with your guidance! Oh, well. Mark offers the girl a wonderful opportunity with loving fathers. Either situation would prove to be a better environment than the one that lovely young lady must endure now. I can hardly wait to hold baby “Mark” in my arms! He will be held like a child as opposed to a sack of potatoes. I am so excited! So, how do we proceed?

  19. Sarah P Says:

    UGH!!!!!!!!!! I still cannot stop myself from watching every interview. BUT FUCK!!!! Why is nobody, not one person saying no Governor Palin, Katie was not asking what news outlets are available in alaska? She was asking what do you read bitch!!!!! Why? Why is nobody saying the problem was not that you seemed “frustrated” by questions you thought were “silly”! Why is nobody forcing her to face the fact that we did not see frustrated coming through in the interview we saw stupidity! Not just someone sounding flighty. We saw a United States governor sounding like a fucking moron. Sounding worse than a high school student who didnt do the reading the night before. UGH!!!! I cannot handle it!

  20. Sister Wolf Says:

    Sarah P, I HEAR YOU!!! Nobody calls her out when she fails to answer the actual question or gives a preposterous answer. I think the run-on sentences just freak out the interviewer.

    Every sentence out of her mouth is a miracle of lies and disjointed fragments. She should be taught in 3rd grade Enlish classes as a model of how not to construct sentences.

  21. Karen Says:

    “Oh! She must be including Levi, who wore a suit to the RNC and then went back to shit-kicking in the Ozarks or wherever.”

    Actually, if you look really close at the pictures of Levi at the RNC, he wasn’t even wearing a suit. The jacket he was wearing didn’t seem to fit real well, like someone at the last minute realized since he was dragged to the event as a show pony, he’d probably rebel a bit and show up in a thermal knit shirt and jeans, and they yanked it off the rack at Sears.

    And he was wearing gray slacks. Trouble is, usually when one wears an outfit like that, the jacket is very dark navy blue, and it’s a uniform for a lot of martial arts officials (like the ones at US Judo competitions).

    Levi’s RNC jacket is a lighter color navy, which succeeds in just making him look like a dork.

    And Bristol? Whoever bought that dark gray dress for her went by her size in June or July, because by September her breasts engorged and her belly pad (natural or otherwise) had expanded her waistline. The dress is about 2 sizes too small.

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