I am happy to announce PAP Smear’s new adoption program. We will start off with Mark’s generous offer to adopt WIllow and Piper Palin. This is a true blessing for these girls, who will be raised in Connecticut by two loving, educated fathers who will provide them with the New York Times, trips to museums and foreign movies, and an opportunity to attend a nice private college.
Cker will be adopting Trig, and not a moment too soon. She will rid him of the cruel name and begin early intervention so that he learns to walk instead of facing a life of being passed around family members like a gravy boat. I know he will flourish with Cker and her family!
I personally have adopted annemarie, since she was so obviously born to the wrong mother (i.e. not me.) If Track survives the secret CIA plot on his life and agrees to six months in rehab, I think he will make a nice adoptee for someone with patience and a firm hand.
Moving on to other issues, I’m sure you’re all as enraged as I am about Prop. 8 in California, which forbids gay couples the right to marry. I’ve just watched some morons yelling about it on TV. The Christian homophobes who defend this attempt to curtail civil rights have no logical or legitimate argument other than this: Marriage is already a shaky institution.
So what?! Maybe if gay couples start marrying, marriage will be more popular. Maybe there will be less divorce, since many gay couples have had the time to think long and hard about taking those vows seriously.
Gay marriage doesn’t threaten marriage as an institution but rather increases its ongoing relevance as a way to live, and a way to commit to loving relationships. The only reason to take offense is if one feels personally threatened by gayness, in which case that’s a problem for a psychologist to help with.
Let’s let everyone do what they want in their private life. If you absolutely insist on invoking the bible, start with: Love thy neighbor as yourself. Of course, this doesn’t work with my particular neighbors, but you know what it means.
If you wish to apply for an adoption, please submit your application here. Same-sex couples welcome.