Should We Blame Mrs. Palin?

Needless to say, I was thrilled to hear that Levi “the Impregnator” Johnston’s mom was busted for drugs in Wasilla. Sherry Johnston has been charged with six felony counts of misconduct involving Oxycontin, a drug commonly known as ‘hillbilly heroin.”

My first reaction was to think, Ha ha, let’s hear anyone try to disassociate Levi from his mom, as if he had no idea that his mom was a dope dealer. Please! One can only assume that Levi loves Oxycontin as much at Track Palin does.

There is obviously nothing to do in Wasilla but do drugs, and have sex. Oh, I forgot guns and church. So basically if you don’t want to pray or shoot anything, you’re stuck with sex and drugs. Who can blame Levi or his mom or Track and Bristol? I’m sure that every other house in Wasilla is a crack den or meth lab, and god bless ‘em.

But now upon learning that Mrs. Palin has “no comment” and “nothing to do with the arrest,” I have to think that she’s behind the whole thing. Maybe, just maybe, Levi thought he could get out of marrying Bristol, now that Mrs. P is only a dumb governor and not the V.P. And maybe Mrs. P decided to let him know what happens to those who don’t cooperate with her agenda.

I can almost hear Mrs. P. barking at Todd, “You call the State Troopers and tell them to arrest that little bastard’s mom, right now! I’ll be god damned if I have to raise one more of Bristol’s babies!”

The poor Johnston family! You don’t fuck with Mrs. P, that’s for sure. And also too, if Bristol doesn’t give birth today on her due date, maybe she can wait until Christmas day and claim Immaculate Conception!   Let us pray.

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11 Responses to “Should We Blame Mrs. Palin?”

  1. Bex Says:

    Huh the entire thing reads like a sitcom…or Law and Order episode.

  2. JK Says:

    Just sayin’, in the David Duff vein, well not a particularly veneal shot but something like that… give Trigfalmadore (that’s his name correct David? – “Of Course, waka waka!”)

    Anyway, my point is, the “Oxy-Messiah” – Rush – (who at last related retort decreed all druggies remove themselves to Amsterdam) has nonetheless parabullshitted his “Ditto Disciples” into forgetting what he’d adamantly demanded last century.

    Last I heard, both he and Dubbya are concerned with legacy and so are petitioning Saint Toyota.

    Anyway, that’s what Mr. Duff told me.

    JK

  3. JK Says:

    Sorry. I meant instead of “veneal” rather the spelling venereal.

    Oh crap, it rhymes with syphillis.

    Anyway Trigonometry drips.

  4. Mark Says:

    Levi has to marry Bristol, even if the baby is really Todd’s or Track’s. It’s all part of Sarah’s agenda, as you say.

    Phone call from Sarah to Levi: “See what happens when you talk about not marrying Bristol? This time it was your mother. Next time it will be you, and I guarantee that your cellmate will be big, black, and horny as hell. Now get over here and marry the little slut..and I want you to call me ‘mom’ from now on.”

  5. Juri Says:

    Strange. Wasilla is the meth capital of Alaska but the fact page on cityofwasilla.com does not as much as hint about the 42 meth labs (2007) the Police found last year. 42 labs to some 7000 inhabitants = 167 labs per person – infants included. I don’t think they should be so modest about that.

    They should add “get fucked up” as one of the options under “Visitors”.

    Also too, I seriously want to visit Wasilla myself. It’s a shame our local agensies don’t sell charter packages to the Great City of Wasilla. Maybe I should start my own charter business. I could operate on two routes: Wasilla and one of those places where the people of faith play with rattle snakes.

  6. Juri Says:

    OK…I was being a maverick and used Wasilla’s population in the calculation when I should have used the Mat-Su Borough’s numbers (80 000). So there are 1905 people for each lab. That’s not good. I think they should open a couple of hundred new ones…unless they cook a lot and the cooks work on a 3-shift rotation.

    But they still should advertise their status on their webpage and have a toothless, cheekless meth-head flash his best smile on the welcome page. It’s always good to be a capital of something. I think?

  7. Iheartfashion Says:

    I suspected Levi was too pretty to be a meth-head. Oxy is more like it.
    And as for Bristol’s due date, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s a few weeks late, assuming she got pregnant within a month after giving birth to Trig.

  8. cybill Says:

    If grandmama Levi is in prison, she’s out the loop and can’t blab the truth as easily can she? Very convenient timing for the birth I say. Sister Wolf, you are my only source of information on this fascinating saga, make sure you update the moment, the very moment, that alleged baby Trig comes out please!!

  9. Sister Wolf Says:

    Bex – You’re right. Who could even think up this shit?

    JK – Please comment in English!

    Mark – Poor Levi, he just wanted to get laid.

    Juri – Oh Juri, you’re always being mavericky! I agree, though. More meth labs and less moose hunting!

  10. Sister Wolf Says:

    Iheartfashion – Good call on Levi!! Due date, too.

    Cybill -Don’t worry, I’m on it!

  11. Kelly Says:

    Just think how many people *could* have been arrested, but they pick on Levi’s mom. This moose shit really stinks.

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