Intimate Grooming: Just Say Ick

The Intimate Grooming market seems to be booming, based on the success of a product line known as “SweetSpot.”   I’ve noticed these products at beauty supply shops over the last year, and now they are hard to ignore. My friend Rebekkah and I were fascinated recently by an entire shelf of this crap, and I’m ashamed to admit that we shrieked like ten year old girls hearing the word Tampax for the first time.

Eeeooow! This shit is not only ridiculous, it comes in Basil Grapefruit and Geranium Lavender.   They want you to Celebrate “That time of the month” by wiping, misting and washing your special place, Down There.

Is that celebrating, or is it obliterating?

I really enjoyed the SweetSpot website, with its wacky euphemisms and made-up words like ‘sweetification.’ They also throw in ‘self-love’ for those women who can hear the word ‘pleasure’ used as a verb without wanting to throw up.

Ladies, do you want your man’s Package to smell like grapefruit and basil? How about oil and vinegar? Let me answer for you: No.

Even though I find the whole idea of feminine grooming to be absurd and insulting, I’m planning to give the On-the-go Wipettes as Christmas gifts, because laughter is the best medicine,   every day of the month!

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17 Responses to “Intimate Grooming: Just Say Ick”

  1. sleepy Says:

    Euew! That’s just nasty.
    Don’t people bathe anymore?
    Attila The Mum more or less banned my sister and I from ever using such products.
    She went on about ‘natural Ph’ while I held my head in my hands, rocking back and forth begging her to stop talking.

  2. Skye Says:

    I think I’ll just continue to let my forest grow free and pretend that the sweetification never, ever happened.

  3. Stella Mayfair Says:

    “Now you can power through your period.” WTF???!!! this is utterly ridiculous and, you said it Sister, insulting! that chemical “sweetification” is bound to literally un-cunt (is there such a word? err… i am not a native speaker, but I can be some cunt) even the divine mother. Did they sign Britney as brand ambassador? Womanizah! Sanitizah! Sorry, but shit like that sends me on a super rant!

  4. lisadom Says:

    Is that extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar? Add some oregano and I’m there baby!
    xx

  5. Dexter VanDango Says:

    Napoleon once wrote a letter to Josephine:

    “I’ll be home in two days. Don’t wash.”

    Love is in the nose of the beholder, too.

  6. Susan Says:

    With the holiday season upon us fire up an assembly line, and slap a bow on the “SweetSpot” as you recall all the kisses you’ve snatched and vice versa.

  7. Juri Says:

    “Self-love?” That’s even worse than “Solo-sex.”

    I feel sorry already for the poor bastard who will have to try to translate their made-up words into another language. Maybe I should send them a quotation with a couple of succestions and see what happens.

    I also noticed they are looking for sales reps! One of these days I’ll send my application and become their Scandinavian Beautifier.

  8. Juri Says:

    *suggestions even

  9. annemarie Says:

    christ, those things sound like a yeast infection waiting to happen.

  10. HelOnWheels Says:

    This is worse than the “Have a happy period” campaign. Jebus! Yet another thing that pisses me off. Grapefruit?! Method makes an all purpose cleaner in that scent; I sure as hell don’t want to smell like my kitchen, thank you very much.

  11. Iheartfashion Says:

    Truly a line of products for which there was no need.

  12. K-Line Says:

    Oh, this creeps me out!

  13. OMGGMAB Says:

    The only person who can really understand the lingo of that website is Sarah Palin. Can you say gobbledygook?

  14. Godammit, I’m Mad! » Blog Archive » A Pulp Fiction Christmas Says:

    [...] Eve by any standard. Our friend Mishelle gave out lottery tickets and my kid won $70! Plus, my SweetSpot gifts were a big hit, resulting in a delighted scream of: “I LOVE VAGINA [...]

  15. Bunny Says:

    You are all obviously old and gray.

    SEX is everything these days and ya gotta keep it nice down there.

  16. Mark Says:

    Bunny: there’s a different between “nice” and “sweetified” with basil and grapefruit. Unless you’re carrying grapefruits and bunches of basil in your pussy, it shouldn’t smell like that. Take it from me, a fag who’s never been near a pussy.

  17. Hammie Says:

    Sounds like a recipe for Salad Dressing. Or Candida. xx

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