Pre-Oscar Complaints

I’m looking forward to wasting my evening tomorrow, watching the Academy Awards. All I ask is that Mickey Rourke doesn’t win.

But first, let me review The Changeling for anyone who missed it. Not surprisingly, it’s all about Angelina Jolie’s lips. I’m not joking here; the Lips should get an award, but not Angelina, whose acting is painfully bad throughout.

But the Lips! Jesus! They fill the entire shot whenever Angelina appears. Coated in an eerily fluorescent deep red lipstick, they are like a pair of giant blow fish. They look like they have eaten most of her face. In fact, perhaps the Lips are some kind of parasite and her face is the host.

Angelina looks frail and exhausted from hoisting those Lips around from scene to scene, but she gamely tries to act worried and/or miserable by flapping her bony hands.

The movie is congealed in period set decoration, with its escalating melodrama almost secondary to the 20’s era flotsam and jetsam. The story is much darker than I expected, so let this be a warning for anyone sensitive to images of serial killers chasing after little boys with an axe. In the end, the Lips look happy, after all they’ve been through.

Now, as for Mickey Rourke, I haven’t seen The Wrestler but seeing Mickey Rourke win his Golden Globe was more than enough for me. His comeback and his douchey Pimp outfits are way too over-the-top, and it’s making me sick. I can’t remember why we’re supposed to feel sorry for Mickey Rourke! Is it because his acting career flamed out, or because he screwed his face up?   Does anyone remember when he was arrested for beating up his girlfriend?

Just make him go away. His whole stupid Bruised Macho shtick is already old now and it’s time for him to move on. And don’t get me started on that Darren Aronofsky! Ugh! What a fucking cunt  !   His Movie Requiem for a Dream was a fucking crime against humanity.

Okay, so enjoy the Awards show or just wait for my Awards Show Exegesis on Monday.

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12 Responses to “Pre-Oscar Complaints”

  1. hammiesays Says:

    Angelina Jolie is an Alien. xx

  2. annemarie Says:

    Angelina is a dreadful actress.

    This video of Mickey Rourke accepting an Independent Spirit award is sort of funny.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og3tN7P6oKI

    I think he is prematurely senile from all the fighting. He talks like one of those crazy old fuckers that you find yourself sitting next to on grayhound buses, discoursing at length on the nature of life/death/infinity, in simplistic, rambling, repetitive, folksy cliches. I have a real affection for these people. It’s like listening to an old song after a while, their talk lulls you into a dream-like state that is very comforting.

  3. Iheartfashion Says:

    I HATED The Changeling! Completely gruesome.
    As for Mickey Rourke, I believe his second 15 minutes are up. Everyone seems to love a comeback story, even when the guy is a complete moron. Did you read his NY Times profile? Ugh…enough about his undying love for Carré Otis and his dogs. And Requiem for a Dream was terrible too. Agreed on all points, Sister Wolf!

  4. Sonja Says:

    sorry guys and gals, I have to disagree. Mickey Rourke, for all of his personal failings is a fucking brillian actor. Maybe not a brilliant human, but I don’t think he’s nominated for the most brilliant human award – nor for the most fucked up face award. (Now that would be a tough competition.)

    Angelina Jolie… is a freak. Her and her travelling freak show of collectable kids – travelling from one photo op to another the world over. Is it just me or is that pack losing it’s luster?

  5. Make Do Style Says:

    Rouke is a toad but unfortunatley his performance in the Wrestler is good.
    The maddest thing about the lips is the colour is wrong! She wouldn’t have been able to get that colour in the 1920s plus lipstick was applied differently – agh I hate stupidity in costume or make up in a film.

    I don’t know what’s worse the lips or the fact Slumdog millionaire might win best picture.

    Can’t wait for your take!

  6. Juri Says:

    First, AMEN to Make Do Style about Slumdog Millionaire!!

    It’s probably because I have been watching movies about ageing men, such as Clint Eastwood’s Gran Torino, but I must confess that I almost liked The Wrestler. I’ve seen it three times now and I don’t think the director could have found a better has-been to do the role than Mickey Rourke. It’s not a great movie by any standards, but it probably is the first MR movie, since Rumblefish I don’t hate. They show 9 & 1/2 weeks every now and then on TV, but every time the ice cubes and scarfs come on I must change the channel. I don’t even know which one of the two eighties blondes he played with in that one.

    His chichuahua just died. Shouldn’t that count for a pity Oscar? Then again, Heath Something just died too.

    He’s probably too ugly to win anyway. When both mama and papa Brangelina are nominated in each their own categories, the competition is a bit unfair. A family Oscar is too cute to miss. And who do we want to see on the magazine covers and Happy Meal trays for the next year anway? Plastic Mickey? I don’t think so…

  7. Juri Says:

    Oh yeah, and Mickey Rourke, whether he wins or not, will fuck up his career one more time by picking a bunch of horrible movies to act in. Harley Davidson And Marlboro Man, anyone?

    But I do salute his current comeback. It’ll be interesting to see into what kind of a piece-of-shit movie he will sell his ass next time.

  8. Bex Says:

    HAHAHA!! Love the trademark!

  9. Mark Says:

    I’m sorry. Don’t hit me. Don’t hate me. I loved ‘The Wrestler’ and Mickey Rourke in it. I know it’s wrong, but I just bought into the whole world about 30 seconds into the film. I even thought Even Rachel Wood was good.

  10. Ann Says:

    I can’t wait for the exegesis. Mickey’s suit was insane – and did you see the gold tooth?!

    And let me add another shout-out to Make Do Style about the Slumdog Millionaire comment.

  11. OMGGMAB Says:

    Well, looks like Brangelina takes home NOTHING! Except maybe those hideous green dime store gems wagging from A’s ears. What were those? Perhaps signs of her alien designation, Hammie?

    I thought the fashion was particularly compelling this year. Of course, some was compelling me to throw up, like Mickey Rourke’s get up. Yeah, Ann, what was up with the tooth? I think that is taking the role a little too seriously – like he had his tooth knocked out while wrestling and the only replacement available was something metal. . .

    Otherwise, many beautiful dresses and tasteful hairstyles. Much classier than most years.

    Just my OP of course.

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