Now I’m Madder Than Ever
See this fabulous beehive? This is what I’d like to take to the bank so that I might accept this gracious invitation from Opening Ceremony:
But no, the bank won’t send me to Paris. Fuckers. Why? Because they don’t want me to look at Chloe Sevigny’s latest shit, or even Erin “Homeless” Wasson’s! There is no justice in this world, as I had already suspected.
Next, that fucking Octomom is driving me insane. Is there no end to this?! Her lips are even bigger now, on the verge of exploding. Go here and watch her argue with her mother. The sound of her voice is maddening. Quick reader poll here: What’s worse, her face or her voice?
Third, the boyfriend jean has now spawned the ex-boyfriend jean. This is an incredible development that signals the coming apocalypse.
How do you tell the difference? Will there be an ex-husband style, too? God, I can’t stand the ripped jeans thing. We baby boomers have already been there, done that, or at least sneered at the people who did.
Finally, summing up tonight’s complaints are these crazy new pants that I think are pretty awesome (and not in a homeless way) but can no longer afford.
Do you love them or do you love them?! Imagine them with a beehive! Waaaah!
I could shop my closet forever without finding these Kirrily Johnston pants. They’re so epic, right? Well, there you have it. I was planning to complain about porn too but I’m already too mad to think clearly. If you want to read some idiots trying to decide if porn is art, go here.
Tags: beehives, Chloe Sevigny, jeans, Octomom, porn
February 26th, 2009 at 3:45 am
There is no justice. But on the other hand there is no soap in Paris, or running water, so it balances out. Am I helping at all?
February 26th, 2009 at 5:45 am
That last pair of pants is unprecedented.
I can’t afford them either! We may all end up doing porn just to earn the money for hairspray to maintain our beehives!
February 26th, 2009 at 9:56 am
I would look like a buffoon in those pants but I would rock them anyway. (Assuming I could afford them, which I cannot – nor can I afford any of the other items in her line that I covet.) They’re hot, all right!
Is there a difference between the boyfriend jean and the ex-boyfriend jean? Does wearing the ex-boyfriend jean make you want to cry over Patsy Cline records or eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s or something?
Your hair looks smashing, by the way.
February 26th, 2009 at 10:05 am
I think your dog has measles!
February 26th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
I don’t know, her face… her voice… I could not look or listen at either long enough to decide. I can’t wrap my brain around the insanity, that is for sure.
It is very sad!
It’s really funny how people pay a lot of money for ripped jeans. Boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, whatever! STUPID!
Porn as art??? Cant go there, as I don’t care for anything that objectifies people, and in particular, women. Perhaps I am not being open minded, and being an artist, I should be, HUM…
February 26th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
I wish someone would send me to Paris for fashion week too!
And I think those epic pants would look fantastic on you, Sister Wolf.
February 26th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Hammer time!
February 26th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
I’m just waiting to see of Octomom accepts the $1 mil to star in a porno. She kinda needs the money! Oh, and her voice is very, very annoying!!
February 26th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
my exBF killed himself last week. I hope it wasn’t seeing me in jeans over Christmas break that did it, though I can imagine it would be. I mean, my God, Lane Bryant jeans. That is enough to put paid to any man.
The VOICE! Was there helium involved? Inquiring minds want to know. And her mom may also be a candidate for the Crazy Moms Club. If I were her parent, I would head for the hills and leave no forwarding address. But I am mean that way.
February 27th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
I’m shocked. What is your bank thinking? Playing hard to get now that the times are allegedly tough, huh? Wasn’t the stimulus package specifically designed to help the banks send people to Paris when they want to go? I’m disappointed.
Speaking of Paris, that porn discussion on blowhards is rather pointless but it has its funny moments. My favourite poster is the guy who believes that most French women are (still) whores (his word) because they learned to have sex with Germans during the occupation. That’s quite a theory. His bank should send him to Paris to present it to the French.
February 28th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Nick – yeah that helps, just a tiny bit.
enc -all roads lead back to porn.
Ann – I’m thinking the ex-boyfriend jeans makes you feel bitter. These crazy pants would be a nice antidote.
David – No no, that is the cheetah, or ‘Alan’ as we call him.
Arline – It’s a tough choice, isn’t it??
Iheartfashion – Fuck it, let’s sell the kids and go to Paris!
Susan -Hahahahaha!
SB- Jesus, about your ex. How terrible. Re the Octomom, yes, the whole family must be koo koo for cocoa puffs.
Juri -YES, that guy is fucking bonkers. He once called me “the devil, literally.”
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Missed you while I’ve had limited internet access.
I LOVE those pants. Where are they from???
March 2nd, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Um, every time I saw Octomom’s mouth move, I kept thinking “QUACK, QUACK, QUACK,” because her lips are so big, they literally look like a duck’s beak. Nuff said.
March 5th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
Nicole – Waaaaah! We deserve those pants!
Danielle – And yet, we’ll never be through with her, evidently. Quack.
December 6th, 2010 at 2:02 am
http://www.thereischlawfirm.com/ Thanks for that awesome posting. It saved MUCH time