Once again, I’m the last one to find out about something that the whole world already knows. When it comes to hating Kelly Bensimon though, better late than never!
What a fucking horrible woman! When you’re watching Kelly Bensimon, she is the worst person who ever lived. She is beyond anything that words can express. She is the fucking Holy Grail for haters! Why wasn’t I notified?!?!?
My husband was kind enough to discover the Real Housewives show for me, and I’ve only seen three episodes. But this Kelly Bensimon person is such a monster that I feel like my whole life has been leading up to finding her! Everything she says and does is like medieval torture. Watching her is worse than being waterboarded! Why didn’t the Bush administration JUST USE KELLY BENSIMON?!
Here is how she ended an interview with Bazaar magazine, when asked who she would be if she could be anyone else for a day:
“I would be me. Every single day. With criticism, without criticism. Just to be me. Because what’s so bad about that?”
May I be allowed to tell Kelly what’s so bad? Okay, good.
Kelly, here’s what’s bad: You’re stupid as a plank of wood, you’re full of shit, you’re rude and condescending, you named your kid “Sea,” you think you’re a prom queen even though you’re pushing forty, you’re a ridiculous snob, and you play stupid head trips with everyone. AND you’re selling some ugly owl necklace that you ripped off from somewhere.
If you haven’t seen this woman, you’re in for a very special treat. I have never wanted to punch someone in the face so fervently.