Madge vs Angelina Smackdown

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Don’t you hate the word ‘smackdown?’ I heard my self say it the other day, without irony, when speaking of Cheney and Obama. So now I’m using it to punish myself. Never again, though.

So, Forbes has deemed Angelina the “most powerful celebrity” in the world. They explain how they compute power, but it’s too boring to go into here.   Madge’s rating is #3.

How do you think Madge is taking this? The tabloids have reported a feud between the two women, based on their baby collecting.   Madge thinks the United Nations work is just stupid, and Angie thinks Madge is a big copy cat with the African Baby Hoarding.

Oh, those silly tabloids. I like to think that Madge and Angie hate each other MUCH more than that, at a much deeper level. I can’t prove it, but I know it’s true.

Let’s enjoy this photo of Madge at a polo match the other day. I call this one “Madge Looking For Her Dick.” God, what the hell is wrong with this woman? She should wear a fucking burka and spare us the horror.

Now, I love Angie as much as Brad does, but this picture kind of threw me.

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I already knew about the nose-job, but where is her top lip?? I want those lips to be real, and I even argue about them with my sister, who insists they are augmented.   My best argument is, Who would get such unnaturally big lips on purpose? You’d go, Don’t make them look too fake, right? Now I’m confused.

But in any case, my rule of thumb is, if it’s bad for Madonna, it’s good for me.

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16 Responses to “Madge vs Angelina Smackdown”

  1. WendyB Says:

    I was just watching Desperately Seeking Susan the other day — then Truth or Dare was on another channel. Ah, old-school Madonna. Before the stupid cult religion.

  2. K-Line Says:

    Oooh, I guess Angie is winning with the kid collecting. And she hasn’t been banned from adopting on the basis of it being illegal and/or offensive.

  3. andrea Says:

    You forgot to mention the jaw augmentation- very subtle, but noticeable when compared with her earlier pics. The nose job is excellent- I’d like to know who her plastic surgeon is/was. Anybody know? She is a great advertisement for his work. It looks like she had it thinned and the tip lowered ever so slightly. The lips i’m not sure of. But she is getting older, and the fullness does wane. Maybe she just gets them tweaked a bit to keep them how they used to be.

  4. jC Says:

    That is absolutely hilarious!! I keep thinking the same thing about Madge, and Angelina, and the baby competition thing, but esp. about Angelina’s lips. I once saw a film (I forget which one – now that alone is worrying) where I kept losing the plot of the film which was a very broad & simple story line, because I was too distracted by her lips. Not that they were beautiful, but that they were actually moving. Sometimes they’d be larger on the bottom right, say, then the top left.. it was like a squishy balloon that’s lost most of its air and keeps moving around. I kept wondering, do those injections hurt as much as the tattoos.. anyway, well done on the Pam Hogg/Susie Bubble stance. I was too chicken to stick my neck out and face Susie Bubble’s wrath, so I chose to faux fawn. Who is the author of this blog by the way?

  5. WCGB Says:

    The photo of Madge is a reminder: Never leave the house without lip color. How did her hands get to be so old looking? I’m sure I do way more dishes than she does, and mine don’t look that bad. Maybe hers are from changing diapers…ha ha ha.

    A friend of mine knows someone who writes for the tabloids. Of course they just sit around and riff on whatever but I agree with you—Madge has it in for Angie and the ‘bloids aren’t getting it to the right degree.

  6. Jill Says:

    I am so glad I’m not a celebrity. And I think I’m the last one to know about a Jolie Nose Job.

  7. Sister Wolf Says:

    WendyB – I loved her in Desperately Seeking Susan, hated her already by Truth or Dare.

    K-Line – She is way out in front. Madge can never catch up.

    andrea – My sister agrees on the tweaking. Now I need to look at jawline pix!

    jc – I’m guessing the lips hurt much more than anything. Think of the nerve endings in the lips…aren’t lips the most nerve-dense body part? As for who is Sister Wolf, it’s ME! Who are you??

    WCGB – The hands are the result of extremely low bodyfat…skin and bones.

    Jill – I’m sorry to drag you down into the muck. Don’t even think about her nose again!

  8. Suzanne aka Punk Glam Queen Says:

    Lip injections do hurt — my doctor said they usually have to add lanacaine (surely spelling that wrong) to ease the pain. Can’t imagine going through that every six months or so to keep up a fake looking mouth. Then again Nicole Kidman is quickly becoming a close third to Madonna and Angelina… have you noticed how plastic she looks lately? Lets just say I know a little too much about Madonna pre and post fame to ever say anything nice about her.

  9. Angie Says:

    Madonna almost looks like she’s wearing cholo garb in that getup.

  10. Jill Says:

    Cholos never looked so bad…and I know some cholos.

  11. hammie Says:

    What are cholos? they sound like a big donut, or is that churros? mmm donuts.

    Sis? What the fuck with the Angelina? sorry but I just feel the urge to smack her ernestly whenever I see her. Actually I do, so that is the E true life story of the lip aug.

  12. fashion herald Says:

    Madonna in DSS – Hipsters wish they could be so downtown cool. Angelina confounds me with the lip, too.. There is no defined line on the upper lip, which implies enhancement. But she has naturally gorgeous lips! And then there were all of her early movies where she couldn’t stop touching her lips.

  13. Sister Wolf Says:

    Suzanne – Yes, Nicole Kidman is now a freak. Very bizarre to fuck up her face like that.

    Angie -I see what you mean, but no, she blew it.

    Jill – We love a good cholo, right Jill?

    Hammie – They are Mexican homeys who lower their cars and have a great style.

    fashion herald – The lips should be on Mount Rushmore….unless they’re fake.

  14. Aja Says:

    Dislike both. I once won free tickets to see a Madonna in store performance in London. I passed on it. If I want to find a pretentious cunt who wants to be worshiped, I never have to look too hard.

  15. Sister Wolf Says:

    Aja – All I have to do is look in the mirror.

  16. Eek Says:

    ok, that is a grisly photo of madonna

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