More Willis Fun

tallulah-with-mom

Why does Tallulah’s head always look like it was photo-shopped on to her body? It has the same jarring appearance in every picture. Does it jut forward around cameras, or is she without benefit of a neck?

When her internship at Bazaar was announced, the magazine had to backtrack and say that she was only going to be “observing” there. At age 15, an internship would violate child labor laws. Awww. Poor Tallulah.

With her impeccable style, this girl shouldn’t waste her time palling around with fashion editors. She should just enroll at Brown, like her older sister, Scout.

tallulah-with-scout

Here, with her head slightly more in proportion to her body, Tallulah dresses modestly so as not to upstage the Brown-quality intellect that is Scout Willis. I love that Scout has chosen to pursue higher education.   I hope she will eventually study neurosurgery and theology. Then, she can either break her mom’s contract with the devil, or create a psychotropic drug that induces prosopagnosia.

Is it mean to make fun of the Willis girls? Did god create them as a test of character for the rest of us? What lessons can we learn from them?

Tags: , ,

22 Responses to “More Willis Fun”

  1. Mark Says:

    That slutty ugly moron is at Brown? I’d like to see the SAT scores she paid someone to get for her. How much fucking money did they have to donate to Brown? And has she found someone to write her papers there? I’m so confused.

    We had a few children of celebrities where I went to college, but they (with the exception of coked-out whore Jade Jagger) were smart, and a few of them actually worked hard and made something of themselves.

    I think I’m especially disgusted by this news because I was rejected by Brown. Twice. But then again, I didn’t have a hideously deformed chin to write about in my application essay.

  2. Mark Says:

    Wait. I confused Scout with Rumer. Does Scout have a hideously deformed chin like Rumer? Or is she just dumpy?

  3. Make Do Style Says:

    The message I take from is all is malheursement! An unfortunate mixture of genes indeed. No amount of dressing up will detract from the photographic evidence. Bless I feel mean for stating the obvious.

  4. Ann Says:

    All of those Willis girls are so homely! They’re so ugly, it almost defies logic! I never found Demi or Bruce wholly unattractive, but the clash of their genes proved too much for anyone to escape with normal facial features intact.

    And what about the way they carry themselves? I thought being rich gave you better posture?

  5. WCGB Says:

    Lesson: Money still can’t buy everything.

  6. hoochiegucci Says:

    what a minger

  7. annemarie Says:

    I can’t stand Rumer. How dare she get a tattoo that says BE PRESENT down the side of her ribs. cunt. The other sisters at least do us all a favour by being absent. Thank you Brown. Thank you Bazaar.

    I can’t bring myself critique their facial features, but they do have rather silly names– not their fault, on either count.

  8. Angie Says:

    Superstition prevents me from commenting on these unusual children, being a future expentant mother.

    We’re all God’s Creatures I suppose.
    “Creatures” being the operative word.

  9. krystal Says:

    they are so adorable!

  10. hammie Says:

    I think it is fine to make fun of the Willis children, just as long as you save a little room for making fun of the Geldofs. Or you could just slap them. hmph. Just thinking about it feels good.xx

  11. Bex Says:

    Poor things, at least they’re not fucking every available (and unavailable) men in Hollywood.

  12. Sardonique Schadenfreude Rictus Says:

    Good Lord! It’s like the Island of Dr. Moreau over there! What strange hybrids they’ve produced over at the old Willis/Moore compound. I’d always heard of conspiracy theories about an extra-terrestrial cryptocracy. This is proof positive that even aliens are on a budget (especially when it comes to fashion, mind!).

    However, I was absolutely IN LOVE with that showy sheep’s-pelt merkin that Tallulah is wearing in the second photo from the top. Wow ! It’s like a Rose Bowl Float ! Crikey !

    Your humble servant ever,

    SSR 8¬}D-

  13. Sister Wolf Says:

    Mark – I knew the Brown thing would piss you off. Scout is hideous, although not specifically deformed.

    Make Do – God I love how you wield that word!

    Ann – Let’s not mate with Bruce, just to be on the safe side.

    WCGB – YES! Thanks!

    hoochiegucci – They’re all minging, aren’t they?

    annemarie- Hahaha! Thanks Brown and Bizarre, now send someone for Rumer!

    Angie – I like how you navigated that.

    krystal – Oh, krystal, you’re just being silly.

    Hammie – HAHAHA! It does feel good!

    Bex- As if they have a choice!!

    Sardonique – I had to read your comment twice, just to savor it. I’ll try to get you that merkin.

  14. Aja Says:

    I guess my big issue is make something of yourself. Don’t just stomp around in beautiful clothes, standing in the spotlight, doing questionable internships at magazines. Do something. Stand on your own (god knows you’ve got the money to tackle any idea), write/blog go to fashion school. Do some awesome charity work, get dirty. I just think celebrity offspring and their “glamourous” occupations make me sick. How the hell do you expect the rest of us to take you serious when it’s evident that it’s been handed to you so easily?

  15. Sister Wolf Says:

    Aja – I agree.

  16. Demi Says:

    Wow! Some pretty harsh words spoken about the Willis girls. I just wanted to offer my 2 cents: Each of us is unique and are here to fulfill our purpose or destiny; this includes every single person who commented, including me.

    The two points that I want to leave you all with are:

    1. Do you know the value of your worth? I don’t mean money. Watch ”Fight Club” – the gist of the movie is that the value of your worth is not the contents of your wallet or the car you drive or your fancy house or the Ivy League University you are going to(or not going to). It’s deeper and beyond that. It’s connecting with each other. Loving each person for their uniqueness.

    2. Google this one: We are ALL reflections of each other – like a mirror you look into. For example, Mark says, ” That slutty ugly moron is at Brown? I’d like to see the SAT scores she paid someone to get for her. How much fucking money did they have to donate to Brown? And has she found someone to write her papers there? I’m so confused.

    We had a few children of celebrities where I went to college, but they (with the exception of coked-out whore Jade Jagger) were smart, and a few of them actually worked hard and made something of themselves.

    I think I’m especially disgusted by this news because I was rejected by Brown. Twice. But then again, I didn’t have a hideously deformed chin to write about in my application essay” END OF QUOTE.

    If you use the ”we are all reflections of each other”, Mark, you may not have a ”hideously deformed chin” or ” be a slutty ugly moron” but these reflect what you really feel about yourSelf. I feel terrible that you hate yourself THIS much. It’s just a reflection of YOU and not in the literal sense. Your words express what you feel about yourself which is: I am an especially disgusted loser for not getting/buying/cheating my way into Brown. I am especially disgusted with myself because I wonder if I’m going to make something of myself and work hard. Or am I going to just sit here and loathe the ‘slutty, ugly morons’, I see on the net, in the world and possibly in the mirror.

    I wish you ALL the success you want. You will succeed and make something of yourself. You are not hideous, deformed or a moron for not getting into Brown. You are a VERY good writer and I sense that’s an area for you. Just realize that you are the co-creator of your life. You are responsible for your life and the conditon in which it is in. Here’s a little insider knowlege for anyone that wants/needs to feel and be confident, strong, certain – all the things we need to ”make something out of our lives” – There are many things I would recommend but if you can, and you need more confidence or to stop smoking so much weed….try Section 1 of Avatar – http://www.avatarepc.com I have nothing to gain as I am not invested in Avatar in any way, shape or form……but I can guarantee that if you are struggling and do this course, may you never be the same again! God Bless

    Scout has built houses for people in need in 3rd world countries. She speaks fluent French; she artistic, creative, loving, confident, and cares about this planet and the people on it. Yes, these three girls were very fortunate to grow-up with two parents that are incredibly rich and famous as it has ”afforded” them some amazing opportunities – Brown not being one of them. Scout would have gotten in on her own merit. But I digress. Even after the divorce, the three girl’s were given the most amazing thing: Authentic Love. It’s interesting that the motivation to move them to Idaho, in part, was because you can become easily jaded in Hollywood.

  17. Sister Wolf Says:

    Demi – Mark is a novelist and screenwriter whose work has been widely praised. He doesn’t need you to tell him he’s a good writer or anything else.

    Neither Mark nor I need any of your psychobabble or prodding to join some awful cult. Thanks for stopping by, now go bask in your Authentic Love or do whatever it is you do on Twitter. xo

  18. Marky Says:

    While it was difficult for me to slog through all the cultish weirdness of Demi’s post, I have to admit, she has a point. While I don’t have a deformed chin and I’m not a slutty moron, I have spent a great deal of my life hating myself. When I hear of a child of a celebrity getting into a school that rejected me, it probably does bring me back to that self-hating phase in my life with an immediacy that’s quite uncomfortable. This self-hating is probably from where the childish name-calling in my post above stems. It’s simple lashing out: Whaaaa! I was rejected by Brown! Whaaa! That child of celebrities wasn’t! Whaaaa! Sometimes, I need to be a child, I suppose. And for that childish name-calling, I do apologize–especially since I didn’t know which of the Willis girls I was writing about.

    This brings me back to one of the questions posed by Sister Wolf: Is it mean to make fun of the Willis girls? It’s actually a good question, I think. If the Demi above is actually Demi Moore, the Willis girls’ mother, I would have to say yes, it is mean to make fun of the Willis girls’ appearances if we know that the real Demi Moore is reading our posts–unless of course, the Willis girls are holding themselves up as paragons of beauty and style, like, for instance, Sea of Shoes. Are they doing this? If the Willis girls were hiding from the paparazzi, it would be mean to make fun of them, I suppose. If they were off in Providence, studying and quietly enjoying college life, then it would be mean to make fun of them. I’m not sure, but I think one of the Willis girls spends her time traipsing around LA with other vague celebrities. I suppose that sort of conspicuous partying and vapid existence would be ripe for ridicule, and perhaps even the real Demi Moore would agree. But that’s not what I ridiculed. I made fun of the Willis girl who went off to Brown, and while, like most people, I suspect–only suspect, I can’t be sure–her status as full-paying daughter of celebrities had something to do with her acceptance, I would fully understand and actually commend her mother wanting everyone to believe that that was not the case. That’s what good mothers do, right?

    All that said, Demi, I have a therapist, a good one, and aside from occasional lapses into childish self-hatred and outbursts (as you noticed in my original post above) I’m doing fine, thanks. Are you really suggesting that I look into that creepy self-realization cultish Avatarpc thing? All the tenets of it–I spent a few minutes on the webpage–seem utterly generic. I may not have been accepted to Brown, but I’m not that stupid or desperate.

  19. The Truth Says:

    Those are some butt ugly looking things.

  20. Ben Says:

    Mark the following part of your reply to Demi’s post literally made me lol:

    “While I don’t have a deformed chin and I’m not a slutty moron,”

    I love your constant reiteration of their downfalls.

  21. it's actually a serious condition Says:

    When I was going through puberty it was obvious that the sh!t hit the fan. My mother expressed her disappointment (and still does) and mourned my toddlerhood cuteness. I know what it feels like for everything to go horribly wrong. I even know what Demi is going through. It’s completely out of anyone’s control. Bless those that made it through 5th grade without that wierd Mogwais to Gremlins phase.

  22. upset parent Says:

    Let us all be glad we are not in the public eye

Leave a Reply