But What Will Prostitutes Wear?

rumer-2-point-0

Here is the KEY LOOK for Fall, modeled by Shopbop’s new model, Rumer 2.0, featuring the all important shaggy fur jacket. Yes, this is the very same faux fur immortalized by Sea of Shoes and Her Mom in Vogue magazine! I’ll wait here while you race to order it from Intermix.

Okay, are you back? So, the aim for Fall is to look like a 70’s era hooker. Pretend you’re an extra in Taxi Driver. It’s all about trashy fierceness.   Be sure to throw in something sequined, “from super shiny to uber-destroyed.”

Torn, shredded skinnies topped with more torn crap:   “As you move into fall you will need to upgrade from your ripped, ravaged and shredded tee to the sweater version of this red hot trend. Kimberly Ovitz creates it here for you in a relatively heavy sweater knit. In black.”

shredded-kimberly-ovitz

Thanks, Kimberly! $795 at Intermix.

We’re almost done! Once you’ve got the fierce skinnies, studded boots, ripped l——s, military jacket, fake fur and layers of boyfriend t-shirts, PILE ON some twisted up chain necklaces with fun amulets like daggers, skulls, talons, and the kitchen sink. Here’s a good prototype, by Fallon, $145.

hells-angels-neclace-145

Now you’re ready to hit the streets, with or without your pimp. WAIT, did I forget to say leather?!? Sorry. Leather leather leather leather. Biker leather, asymetrical leather, studded leather, moto leather, leather leather.

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10 Responses to “But What Will Prostitutes Wear?”

  1. andrea Says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for explaining fall 09 to me! I was at a loss over what I should spend my hard earned money on. Now excuse me while I rush over to Intermix (I live in NY, so I will actually visit the store) and get these pieces before they sell out.

  2. minzhi Says:

    Aww, are you telling me that the trend of F09 doesnt include vintage?? I’ve just spent 6 nice hours in the basement just to find my mom’s old chanel and lv and gucci and prada…

  3. annemarie Says:

    You should alert the Neighborhood Watch organizations of this. If they see somebody who looks cossetted and wealthy strolling through their area, it’s probably some sort of junkie/ hooker/ mugger.

  4. WendyB Says:

    I think I have one of those jackets, left over from one of my mom’s friends who wore it in the ’60s. It sheds ferociously!

  5. Make Do Style Says:

    Thank you now I will be able to ply my wares confidently upon the streets of London – geez I knew there would be a shop my look for me in the end!

  6. Deni Says:

    . . . ah, is fashion dead? Can’t we just go back to grunge? It was better than ratty/tattered l*****s and ratty/shredded ts and sweaters.

  7. alittlelux Says:

    i think i just threw up a little bit in my mouth…

  8. Bex Says:

    $700 for that shredded up shit? Pass!

  9. ...love Maegan Says:

    I saw a photo of Lindsay Lohan recently and I think the title of this post blurted out of my mouth. It’s kind of ridiculous isn’t it?

  10. carmencatalina Says:

    I love that necklace. I love it from here in the future of summer 2010, where I should be contemplating Fall 2010. Reading blog archives is like time travel.

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