Archive for August, 2009

The Progressive Insurance Girl: Why?

Monday, August 31st, 2009

progressive-ins-girl

If you don’t live in the US, you may not know about this girl. She is featured in a series of TV ads from which there is no escape.

At   first glance, or if you’re deaf, you might be pleased with her retro make up. However, soon enough, the horror of her over-the-top goofiness will obliterate this asthetic appreciation. She exudes a sickening self-satisfied energy that makes me want to kill her.

Here’s the problem. Apparently, you’re supposed to love her!

I found this out when I googled the question, “Is Matt Taibbi gay?” I thought he might be, but I wasn’t sure. I admire everything about him, as do gay men, I soon learned. The gays are disappointed that Matt is straight. But on a conservative blog, someone insisted that his dislike of the Progressive Insurance Girl proves that Taibbi is gay!

Am I gay, too? Matt Taibbi is on record as wanting to strangle this girl. YES, Matt, YES! Why would anyone object to such a healthy and normal reaction?

This world is dangerously out of whack, that’s all I know. If you google her, you’ll see an essay titled “The Strange Allure of the Progressive Insurance Girl.” Evidently, the whole nation has fallen for her “endearing” charm.   God. Make it stop.

It’s you and me, Matt. Give me a call.

A Hot Girl and Some Awful Pants

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

faith-at-nordstrom

When I go to Nordstrom, it’s always an adventure. The charging and taking back alone is more gratifying that I can tell you. This time, I was dazzled by a Nordstrom employee with a fantastic hairstyle. Her name is Faith and she is a design school graduate. I love her hair and she turned out to be a really great girl.

Faith has just started a blog, so we talked about blogging. She told me that she likes Sea of Shoes and that furthermore, Sea of Shoes and Mom of Shoes had come into the store recently. I shrieked and jumped up and down like an excited 5 year old, alerting Faith that she was dealing with a psychopath. She divulged that Sea was kind of shy, and was wearing Margiela.

Is it a Small World After All, or are we all connected by shoes?

Since it was the day after my birthday and I was still feeling entitled, I bought a pair of “cropped jeans” because they were on sale AND chartreuse. Look:

citron-cropped-jeans

The tag says “citron” but I’m sticking with chartreuse. If you think they’re unflattering on the model, you should see them on me. Terrible! And yet.

I have a vague irrational idea that these pants could somehow look good. What could I rock with them to be seriously killing it? Besides the fierce heels. How about black boots and black jacket? Or, a red cashmere sweater? Red + chartreuse is one of my favorite combinations! It’s aggressive, it’s jarring, it says “Too bad for you!”

Ideas? Or should I just take them back and look for Faith?

Mrs. Palin: Is it Genetic?

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

palin-lookin-kooky

In an article she wrote about her beloved dad, Chuck Heath, Mrs. Palin wrote:

“Mr. Heath is grandpa to 12 fortunate young Alaskans, having an especially unique bond with his autistic eight-year-old grandson. From the first born, Track, on down, to Bristol, Willow, Piper lndi, McKinley, Happy, Karcher, Lauden, Payton, Keir, Heath and Tico.”

Hahahaha!   Where’s Donner and Blitzen?!

santas-reindeer

via Palingates

DJ AM: Another One Bites the Dust

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

syringe necklace

I am still only barely aware of who DJ AM was, but I’m very sorry to hear about his death.   I can’t understand why a man with 11 years of sobriety could throw it all away. Listen to him talking about his commitment to helping other addicts in their recovery.

He seems like a lovely guy. He was in a band that tortured me with one of the worst songs ever written but that was all in the past. It seems like he knew everything he needed to know about where drugs would lead him. And yet apparently he forgot all of it, the endless pointless misery of it, in one bleak evening alone.

No one should die with a crack pipe in their lap or a needle in their arm! In the last week or so, two people I care about came close. Fuckers.

See the necklace up there? I’ll bet some people who stumble across this picture will be going, “Um that is so rad, where can I buy that?” instead of thinking, “Why the fuck would anyone think a syringe would look cool as jewelry?”   I wish the designer had made a little dead guy with a syringe sticking out of an abscessed foot.

A whole year ago I wrote about addiction and intervention. I still urge everyone to fight hard against romanticising drug use, and to hold on to your loved ones who are struggling to stay sober. Beg them to stick around. Threaten to kill them if they use again.   If you hear someone glorifying dope addicts, punch them in the face.

Birthday!

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

birthday-cake2-09

The Youngest Wolf surprised me by announcing my birthday from the stage, during his band’s performance at a local music festival.   I was presented with this cake that he secretly made at a friend’s house.   See why it’s great to have kids?

My husband made me laugh by saying the exact same thing that made me laugh in that other photo! I look kind of like a horrible Alanis Morrisette here, don’t you think?

Killing it in a leather jacket by somebody, t-shirt by someone else, jeans too.

Here’s What Sister Wolf Wants

Friday, August 28th, 2009

ileana-makri-safety-pins

It’s my birthday, hooray for me! I would like these 18K safety pin earrings, set with black diamonds.   And I feel that they are longing for me, all the way from Browns in London. Someone stupidly priced them at $3,000, so I’m going to be strong and live without them. For now.

Here’s what I want in lieu of the earrings. I’d like everyone to say stuff like “Happy birthday, you old bag!” and “Haha, you’re that much closer to being 60!”

I would also like someone to think of a new word I can use. I just got an email from Target, announcing a newsletter for “frugalistas.” God, no. Recessionista is bad enough.   What would be a good word for someone who complains about fashion? A Negativista?   I’m sure someone out there could do better.   I’m a little “on my meds” right now. Help a Sister out.

Fashion vs Porn, Part 2

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

irina-poor-girl2

I subscribed to a fashion blog called Fashion Copious a few weeks ago, and felt increasingly creeped out by its contents.

Today, upon realizing that I’ve become more familiar with Kristen McMenamy’s waxed landing strip that I am with my own Female Area, it suddenly hit me: This isn’t fashion, it’s porn. Soft porn, to be sure, but still. The focus of this blog is not just naked models, but very young naked models. The girl above looks like a starving pre-adolescent, but the blog’s author finds her rapturously beautiful.

Who the hell is this guy, anyway? Does anybody know his credentials, besides a keen appreciation of nude models?   With every post, he has a feature called “What My Girls are Liking” that usually features trampy girls posing in trampy outfits. What does he mean, “My Girls?” Is he a pimp or a modeling agency or what?

I feel tainted and ashamed. Sorry, naked young models! Please go home now and have something to eat!

Mrs. Palin on FB: Koo Koo for Cocoa Puffs!

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

kathleen-the-fat-moron

Mrs. Palin has over 800,000 fans on Facebook, where she posted a note today, asking people to watch racist crybaby Glen Beck on Fox news. Glenn’s corporate sponsors have been pulling their ads due to public pressure.

Here is a sample of the 3,471 comments to Mrs. P’s note:

kathleen-comments-to-palin

How can we possibly reach the scrambled minds of people like Kathleen Thompson Papp? Let’s try!

Dear Kathleen,

What the hell is your problem? Do you know anything about Hitler? Do you know the difference between fascism and socialism? Why do you identify with Mrs. Palin? She would shoot your dog if it had antlers!   Please put down that bacon cheeseburger and read some world history. God help you if you’re priced out of decent health insurance.

Love and concern,
Sister Wolf

Moments

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009

“I won’t waste too many words trying to explain this stunning video, which is by Will Hoffman and the folks at Radio Lab. At first glance, it’s a mere collection of ordinary moments – a falling teardrop, an escaped balloon, a dive into a pool – but I think it’s also evidence that the things we see everyday, when carefully framed, can ache with ignored beauty:”       Jonah Lehrer

Newest Shopbop Offering

Tuesday, August 25th, 2009

vivane-dress-shopbop

It’s good to wear a dress that makes you look like you have a tail because ——————.