The Stupidest Band in the World

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Even in the midst of a crisis, I find I have not lost my ability to Hate! On a brief visit to my own home, I was privileged to catch a performance (on the David Letterman Show) by the stupidest, most awful band in the world. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros left me with my mouth open in astonishment, after I finished calling them names out loud.

There’s a sickening douche as the front-man, with a creepy horrible girl adding vocals and dancing around like a crazed village idiot. There’s an asshole wearing a bow-tie with a pink shirt, and some other annoying band-members I can’t remember too clearly.

I double dare you to listen to the entire song. It followed me into my bedroom, where I could hear them bleating the stupid refrain over and over and over and over.

YES! I   hate, therefore I am.

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35 Responses to “The Stupidest Band in the World”

  1. minzhi Says:

    the show was incredible. the vocalist girl managed to dance like an ament/nympho, and the man scares me with his look that resembles of a hungry pedophile. no wonder david letterman show is rated 18SX in my country.

  2. alittlelux Says:

    i just wanted to smack that dopey look of the girl that was dancing… i made it in about two minutes before i could bear them no longer! they look like they are straight out of the manson family….

  3. David Duff Says:

    “therefore I am”

    Thank goodnes you am, er, I mean, you are … oh hell, you know what I mean. It was just that your last post had me worried.

  4. JimmyP Says:

    BTD, SisterW, BTD (beg to differ) – What a wonderful change from the usual tossers with dickmentia you see onstage -maybe a bit blissed out and happy clappy, speaking in tongues and dancing like dodos but the high notes and the ukelele clinched it for me. The gawky Hepburn look-a-like has a perfect set of teeth and a sinful smile -it’s a shame she shaves her armpits.
    As soon as I can get a download, they’re going on my radio show.

  5. sam Says:

    Should I resist the temptation to google them?
    Never heard of them; I’m wound up enough already today, I’d better stay ignorant…….
    ..or am I really missing out?
    :o/

  6. JimmyP Says:

    i just been through a bunch of youtube… there were some good sets but..oh dear… i just watched one where the man opens his mouth at an interview… and says stuff … oh dear… think i’ll stick to the music.

  7. Antoinette Coll Says:

    Galway hippy types I hate em !

  8. Make Do Style Says:

    Spared them so far so I won’t even go there. Glad you’ve found 5 minutes to hate – in times of crisis it keeps you going.

  9. Iheartfashion Says:

    I sat through 2 minutes before I was too creeped out by their Manson family vibe and had to shut it down.

  10. Ann Says:

    I will refrain from making an original post, as I drank too much all weekend long and am trying to conserve brain cells. Besides, gentle reader Sam has already channeled my exact thoughts.

    Still sending endless amounts of love your way, and am grateful that the love I have sent thus far has converted itself into much more useful hatred on your end.

  11. Winter Bird Says:

    A true testimonial that siblings should not marry.

  12. honeypants Says:

    Ugh! Devendra Banhart chic is vomitorious!

    UGH UGH UGH! Barefoot, smelly, happy, hippie, hipster, smarm! (Can smarm be a noun?)

    Keep the hatred alive, SW. I love you!

  13. Jill Says:

    short and sweet…i missed you

  14. Bevitron Says:

    It’s like if Herb Alpert and R. Crumb and His Cheapsuit Serenaders dropped in on a certain notorious episode of The X Files and they all had a demented Hootenanny for Matador and Outpatients…

  15. Sarah P Says:

    Though I am of tender years* I can remember a time when being able to carry a tune in a fucking bucket was, like, the bare minimum requirement for starting a band. They sound like stoned teenagers having an argument about biscuits. Does that ghastly man think looking like he’s spent the last five years laying a railtrack in the Burmese jungle is a substitute for talent?

    HATE ON.

    *Stop laughing at the back there

  16. WendyB Says:

    I’ve never even heard the name of this band so at least they haven’t infiltrated the world yet.

  17. dust Says:

    I’m not ever gonna hear their music, never!!!

  18. OMGGMAB Says:

    I’m deaf to them!

  19. OMGGMAB Says:

    “Holy moly me oh my” they suck! Are they possessed by demons?

  20. Mark Says:

    They look like every student at Bennington College.

  21. Juri Says:

    I couldn’t watch it past 1:30. What a fucking quitter TM I am! I wish I had had the balls and courtesy to sit through their performance, so that I could have seen the bow-tie asshole and experienced a nice flush of violent urges to repress. As it happens, I have this disorder which makes me want to punch anyone wearing a bow-tie on the mouth, unless they are posing in a genuine 1910s photograph.

    I hated this band as soon as I saw their name. Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros? UGH?! “They sure had some funny band names in the 70s, and they made some silly music, too.” Oh yeah, funny, hahaha. But what’s the point in repeating their mistakes in 2009? When did life become a never-ending retro party with no exit?

    Whatever happened to originality and individual talent?

    Their performance is just as bad and reminds me of that horrible swedish “smash hit” from 1994, Cotton Eyed Joe. It was just as shitty but at least they didn’t think they were cool (or whatever the current word used by the hep crowd is) like these college hippies think.

  22. Bex Says:

    No! If I listen to them I will never get their music out of my head and I will end up LOVING them. I’m a fucking pussy :(

  23. Sister Wolf Says:

    God, you people are good Haters! You have no idea how much comfort and satisfaction this gives me. I feel like you are all my little chicks, soaring out of the nest on wings of Hatred. Fly, birdies, fly!

  24. Stella Mayfair Says:

    i hope all is well, sister wolf. i send you lots of love and … er… hate (for these fuckers, that is).

  25. Mathilde Says:

    Dear Sister Wolf,

    I stumbled across this blog yesterday which I think is very much deserving of your hate, what particularly upset me was this post http://4thandbleekeragency.blogspot.com/2009/07/i-s-l-n-d-l-i-f-e.html
    where this young lady is digging using drugged up monkeys as live fur clothing. In your face PETA indeed. I have a lot of rage inside me but I know you can express it far better than I. The world needs some hate – it’s the only resonable response to mediocrity and stupidity. Keep up the good work!

    I hope your crisis has been somewhat averted.
    Much love
    Mathilde

  26. dust Says:

    Your hate is our command!
    Will hate for you!

  27. fashion herald Says:

    well-spent hatred. and there are too many people in that band.

  28. Iron Chic Says:

    I hated this with a loved one.

  29. Hortense the Horrible Says:

    I took you up on your double dare, and I am permanently scarred.

    I’m willing to bet the woman with the bell-stick is a PCP addict they found off the street.

    My tips for this band:
    1. When you perform, you probably want to perform to the AUDIENCE, not to each other.

    2. To the main singer, who looks way too much like a pedophile: Please, for the love of all that is decent, PUT YOUR SHIRT ON ALL THE WAY!!!

    I’m off to lock my doors now….

  30. Roo Says:

    Holy shit, what the fuck?!!!

  31. The Raisin Girl Says:

    This reminds me of a concert I went to last year. Not because of any similarities in lack of style, but because of the God-awfulness. I loved the main act, but the opener was some idiot named Eef who couldn’t sing for shit. I think he was actually wearing a bow-tie, too.

  32. Bob Says:

    yeah. I listened to the stuff they have up on daytrotter. not good.

  33. Susan Says:

    Hope your son is doing well and you, too, sweetie. xoxo

  34. Sonia Luna Says:

    Couldn’t even listen to a full minute of that shit! Galway hippy types indeed, all they need to complete the look is a dog on a string!

  35. MJ Says:

    I liked the song the first time I heard it – for its different-ness – but this description is so hilarious that now I wished I’d seen Letterman. For the pure joy of ridicule.

    Contrast this with our work outing to the Phish show (yes, work outing – two managers and a bunch of kids). Crowd was TRIPPY, MAN but band was sober, looked pretty clean (Trey, love the blazer and jeans, dude, cuz that’s how I dress too) and kicked out the jams.

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