Read Mrs. Palin’s Mind and Win a Prize
Mrs. Palin’s tour bus arrives at Grand Rapids, MI, for her first book-signing appearance. Enlarge the picture to enjoy its full impact.
Finish this sentence:
“I’m carrying Trig because ——————————————.”
Again, I am offering the Dead Sweater to the winner. It is size small. (Honeypants won it in the Guess Which Shopbop Girl contest, but since she is busty, she gets some fabulous vintage jewelry from the Sister Wolf’s Hoarded Fashion Collection™ )
This is the prize:
Tags: Mrs. Palin, Trig
November 21st, 2009 at 1:35 pm
because…I want Jill to win the sweater…she’ll leave it open so her bosom can breathe.
November 21st, 2009 at 1:54 pm
I’m carrying Trig because I’m battin’ rogue and need all the protection I can get.
November 21st, 2009 at 1:56 pm
Whadda ya mean you’d still think I’m a cunt with a downs child
November 21st, 2009 at 1:59 pm
…because I am trying to hide my headlights. It’s so cold!
…because I farted and people need a shield.
…because I am a total media whore.
November 21st, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Downs [baby] is the new Black [baby]!
(not that I’m angling to re-win the same sweater or anything
November 21st, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Because I’m a fashion goddess and his pants match my jacket in an Alaska kinda way
November 21st, 2009 at 2:50 pm
due to his disability he’s the only child I’ve got that doesn’t breed like a rabbit.
Okay I admit I’ve been drinking red wine and MR MDS is sat snoring in the chair opposite – admit it my Sat night rocks!
November 21st, 2009 at 5:02 pm
between the two of us, at least one can be forgiven for being ignorant….
November 21st, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Because I paid a lot of money for this kid, goddamit. He was my meal ticket to the Whitehouse and look where I am now – signin’ some bullshit book for people too stupid to realize it’s all about my fame and my fortune. You betcha’!
November 21st, 2009 at 6:21 pm
…my jacket may open and people will know I’m really a Fembot. MUST.TRY.TO.APPEAR.HUMAN.
November 21st, 2009 at 7:30 pm
because i executed his nanny and we haven’t replaced her yet.
because todd gets tired of being outsmarted.
because bristol is having withdrawal-related hallucinations and she keeps trying to inject him into her veins.
because he can’t carry himself, by golly.
because people like comparing our vacant expressions.
because he is secretly a mass murder war-beast and i must restrain him at all times, for the children’s safety.
November 21st, 2009 at 7:32 pm
if i win this sweater, i’m going to give it to my girlfriend. just letting you know in case you decide i can’t win because i would ruin it and look ridiculous in the bargain! it’s not for me.
November 21st, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Im’ carryin Trig cause I need to prove to you guys that I am a devoted mom
, where’s Bristol?
November 21st, 2009 at 10:11 pm
I’m carrying Trig because if someone asks me a difficult question, I can pretend to be tending to him.
November 21st, 2009 at 10:45 pm
…I want my eyes to look more focused by comparison!
(sorry, palin, it didn’t work)
It seriously looks like she is modeling his facial expression, the way that newborn babies do. Why?! Is it involuntary or is she trying to be “cute”? God, she is an idiot.
November 22nd, 2009 at 1:24 am
Because it is a perfect excuse for not having to interact with “real Americans”, and sign their copies of this Great Book of Mine.
Also too, Trigg is a great human shield against booing and other criticism.
I’m a mom, and a darn good one at that. And a Christian. How can anyone be so cruel as to criticize a Christian special needs mom? Those lonely shallow people who criticize me need our prayers.
May God help them understand that just because you show up at a book-signing show where you buy a book and a wristband, along with a promise of having me sign it for ya, doesn’t mean that I’ll have to deliver on that promise. Once your credit card has been charged the backlights of my bus say “so long, suckers, nice doin’ business with y’all. This hockey mom is heading home to Todd, that great husband of hers, to check if he still looks good enough shirtless to stay married to.”
Heck, I’m a maverick. I can walk away from all my promises and obligations if I want to. All I need is a bunch of others to blame. I win by quitting and honour my promises by breaking them. And I reward my team mates and partners with backstabbing and slander.
But most of all, I’m a mom of five. Now say hello to my little boo-shield.
November 22nd, 2009 at 3:50 am
..cause she needs to look smarter than somebody.. by golly..
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:34 am
…Because none of those dirty un-American terrorist-sympathizers would DARE throw a pie at me while I’m carrying a special needs baby. Hey, maybe I should tell Ann Coulter to get a baby prop, then people might stop saying she’s really a man….nah.
November 22nd, 2009 at 9:15 am
…. cause he has my other brain cell.
November 22nd, 2009 at 5:29 pm
…I believe the children are our fyoo-chures. They will carry our keesters when we’re old like Michelle Obama, and if they’re ugly like Rumer Willis, trans like Chastity Bono, or developmentally disabled with names that represent things they can’t do like this little guy here, then even Joe Sixpack can have Franzia box-wine levels of self-confidence in comparison!
The future sure is bleak and all, but won’t our kids be nostalgic for our good hair and square glasses? You know, like the shooow Mad Men? How’s aboot Glad Women–glad to be Americans! And on that nooote I’d love to put in a cammi-oooh on Desperate Housewives!
November 22nd, 2009 at 7:26 pm
…godammit, he’s mine and not that whore daughter’s of mine, for the last fucking time.
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:56 am
…I have a curry stain on my jacket. Also, if someone asks me a difficult question I can squeeze him and he will cry.
November 23rd, 2009 at 12:11 pm
he’s in training as a prop for my next gig as a televangelist.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Because if I hold him up high enough, he can see Russia from here!
November 24th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
who’s carrying Palin?
November 24th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
I’m carrying Trig because he’s my stylist, and financial adviser.
December 2nd, 2009 at 11:34 pm
I’m carrying Trig because I’m not all the way off the bus yet. Mom? Here ya go!
August 2nd, 2010 at 9:25 pm
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December 2nd, 2010 at 12:19 pm
because I’m teaching him how to v-smile like a horrendous mannequin for future grand entrances/exits from buses