Tonight, some friends and I were discussing some mutual acquaintances. It emerged that there was some confusion about how to categorize certain types of men we disdain.
To me, a Douche is instantly recognizable as such. He doesn’t have to exhibit any behavior; he’s just a Douche. Sometimes a Douche can increase his douchiness by bad behavior, like John Mayer, but usually it’s a done deal. Keith Urban is a Douche.
So is Pete Wentz and David Duchovny.
Joe Perry ( as per this photo from the American Music Awards show) is a Scumbag.
Whereas, Steven Tyler is a Douche. Snoop Dogg = Scumbag. Mickey Rourke, another Scumbag.
Trying to think of a Jerk, my first thought was Levi Johnston, god bless him. Jerks are more innocent than Scumbags or Douches. I even think that a Jerk could be reformable; he could wise up, theoretically anyway. Douches and Scumbags are lost causes.
I used to be able to explain the difference between a Tool and a Jerk, but I honestly can’t remember the criteria. All I remember was that some guy named Jason (who happened to be a fishmonger) was a complete Tool.
Where do you stand on these categories, and who do you think best epitomizes a Douche, Scumbag, Jerk or Tool?