Out, Damn G Spot!

where-the-hell-is-it

When my friend R suddenly proclaimed herself skeptical about the G Spot during Christmas Eve dinner, I told her she was preaching to the choir. According to R, that idiot “Dr. Oz” was on TV trying to teach people how to locate the G Spot by using the roof of the mouth as a model of the female Area.   (Sorry, can’t use the V word.)

So here’s my analysis of the G Spot situation, and R backs me up on this.

The G Spot is a male fabulation, designed to put women back in their place after the superiority of female sexuality became common knowledge. In other words, since women have a better capacity for orgasm, lets find a way to make them feel inadequate again.

Ladies, are you feeling me here? Why do we need a mysterious “Spot” that almost no one has located, when the C Spot is RIGHT THERE and works great?! I love reading about how some women feel an urge to pee when you press their G Spot, while other women experience a special “V—-al Orgasm.”   Since that theory makes the whole deal seem kind of dubious, newer studies suggest that only SOME women have a G Spot. In that case, let me say that I personally have an H Spot, as well as Spots I through LMNOP, but I’m not going to tell you where they are, since you probably don’t have them.

When I googled G Spot, I came across an piece at Ask Men dot com, about the Male G Spot! I was thrilled! R and I had postulated the existence of an M Spot for men….a nebulous place somewhere between the balls that had to be pressed from a certain angle to be triggered.   How gratifying to imagine men probing desperately for a Spot that isn’t there!

I was disappointed, not to mention saddened and completely grossed out, to learn from Ask Men that the Male G Spot is up their butt. THAT’S RIGHT, you heard me. Up their butt. Ask Men suggests that guys get comfortable and relaxed before attempting to locate…..oh god, I can’t go on. It’s just too tragic. Who are these dummies they write for at Ask Men? It should be called Ask Idiots. Or maybe just “Duh.com.”

While I personally can accept some things on faith, other things (like the moon landing) I’m not too sure about. The moon landing, I’d say there’s a fifty per cent chance it happened. Immaculate Conception, zero per cent. Loch Ness Monster, YES, that one I feel good about. But the G Spot is nonsense and I’m not buying it.

Opinions, anyone?

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17 Responses to “Out, Damn G Spot!”

  1. TheShoeGirl Says:

    LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m with you on the C spot…

  2. Moda Says:

    Haiku:
    I have no G spot
    attempting to locate is
    funny in Loch Ness

  3. WTF(WhatTheFashion) Says:

    bwahahaha! ok, this is truly funny.. I guess I have to find my so called “spot”.

    When or/and if sex is good then that’s about it. Aside from Ask Men, every time I sign out from my email on Yahoo, Yahoo advertises some kind of “things to know about your men” and it really annoys me.

  4. K-Line Says:

    OK, I’m happily convinced of the existence of the G spot (sorry to go against you here). I was aware of the G spot before anyone was writing stupid articles about it. :-) For my money, it works nicely with the C spot to provide an extra-special fun orgasm. Of course, any orgasm is extra-special fun.

  5. dust Says:

    My man claims his spot is all over. My G spot tends to migrate.

  6. Iron Chic Says:

    I hate when it gets described as a “spongy” area. Ewwwwwww.
    Leave well enough alone, I say!

  7. WendyB Says:

    Why can’t we say “vagina”?

  8. Sarah P Says:

    I’m with WendyB. Why’s it more embarrassing to say ‘vagina’ than ‘penis’? VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA!

    Um. I did think Mr P found mine once, but I might have just needed a wee.

  9. Make Do Style Says:

    Hilarious! Come on, Sister Wolf is the c queen not the v queen! Lets not mention the v word here!

  10. Alicia Says:

    LMAO!!!

  11. Denise (denisekatipunera) Says:

    hahahaahah!

    i’ve heard about the g spot when i was in college. hahaha. Sorry Dr. Oz no g spot for me.

    how do these people come up with these studies? they have sex all the time and take note of every ooohhhs and ahhhs. And lol about the butt spot.hahahaahha!

    merry Christmas sister wolf. On new year’s eve am gonna share this topic to my family. It’s a nice subject to make the family closer. haha!

  12. fashionherald Says:

    I want to come over next Christmas Eve dinner. And I always wondered about this g spot thing, as on a good day is it not all a g spot?

  13. Sister Wolf Says:

    theShoeGirl – I should hope so!

    Moda – I hate that G spot
    Let’s admit that it’s not there
    Even up our butts.

    WTF – When you need Yahoo to tell you about men, you’re in bad trouble.

    K-Line – I just can’t imagine that extra special feeling being MORE extra special unless my head flew off or something….you are scaring me, L-Line!

    dust – Sounds like the perfect man, dust.

    Iron Chic – UGH, me too with “spongy.”

    WendyB – YOU can say it all you want! With your hand to your face!

    Sarah P- I hate both words, I’m a big baby. I need help.

    Make Do – Thanks for getting my back on this!

    Alicia – Hahahahahahaha! xo

    Denise – Let me know how it goes.

    fashionherald – Good, see you next year! And man, you are so right. it’s all g spot.

  14. WTF(WhatTheFashion) Says:

    Yes, indeed! No wonder why I’m still single. =(

  15. hello gorgeous Says:

    Hate to tell you this but there is a magical place called G. Even if you do have to have a mass expedition to find it.

  16. Juri Says:

    Someone should invent a ME Spot for selfish lovers and start preaching about it. Maybe I just did. Maybe I should launch the campaign already.

    The G lectures do not annoy me, really, but every time I have to hear sermons and testimonies about Tantra sex (Oooh 17 orgasms without ejaculating) I want to kill someone. You say Tantra Potata, I say Sting looking for a quickie in a Hamburg brothel.

  17. Amanda Says:

    When they speak of the male G spot, they mean the prostate. When you access the prostate through the wall of the rectum, it can be stimulated to the point where the guy orgasms. I thought everyone knew that.

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