Archive for January, 2010

Another Dick

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

This is the Dicklace Tee by Haute Hippie. Is it meant to be a pun, as in dickless? Or is it meant to be worn with that awful Dickweed nail polish?   $350 at Shopbop.

Plays Well With Others

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

An anonymous commenter suggested that I have been Needlessly Savage toward other, younger bloggers.   I don’t understand the word “needlessly” in this context. And I can’t really attack older bloggers, because Ha, there aren’t any!

Anonymous (and I know who you are because I can see your IP,) help me out. Who are the bloggers I should champion? Just point me to them! God knows I am always looking for something interesting to look at or read.

I’m finding that style-driven blogs are falling into two camps, and I’m sorry about using “driven” like that. I’ve already complained about the Clueless Goth blogs here, and I’m standing with those complaints. If you can judge a blog by its comments, these are the worst by far. The “Fuck yeah!”, “Hell yeah!” and “Sick!” quotient is just off the chart. The accompanying blogrolls are full of like-minded girls who love the word “black.” Is it mean to make fun of this shit? Fuck yeah! But you’re tough, you leather-and-chain girls, you can take it.

The other camp I will have to call the So What Blogs. They are the work of average looking women who want you to look at their average looking outfits all the time. They have nothing to say and they don’t say it with any distinction. They sometimes show us pictures of themselves drinking with friends or taking vacations. It’s the kind of stuff that only their families would care about. When they stop posting for a few days, they apologize, like the whole world was gasping like a fish out of water in their absence from the blogosphere. (Sorry about the word blogosphere.)

The one blog that stands above all the rest is Kingdom of Style, and it’s the one I would miss the most on a desert island. The Queens never waste my time, and they’ve created an atmosphere of grown up creativity that always gives me a lift. My friendship with the Queens has been one of the chief perks of blogging. If I ever make it to Loch Ness (one of the 5 things on my bucket list)(sorry about bucket list), I’ll be stopping off first at Marie’s house for a cup of tea.

Is there a great blog out there that I’ve been missing? I promise not to be Needlessly Savage about any recommendations.

Mrs. Palin Rebuts That Stupid President

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

Mr. Palin responded to Obama’s speech last night with characteristic aplomb. I love her little head movements at around 1:28.   At around 5:03, we get “government takeover and mandation of healthcare.”

I also enjoyed the newly inflated lips!

P.S. The drinking word is disconnect.

Why Can’t I be Popular?

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

You know that website bloglovin? Well, nobody likes me there, but people who do (even though they don’t exist) also like a blog called Nubbytwiglet.

Nubbytwiglet is a really horrible girl who looks alot like Sarah Silverman, which for me is not a good thing. Not at all. She has lots of advice about how to be successful and famous. She is the last person I would want to be associated with.

Fine, maybe not the LAST but close. Why aren’t I popular?! I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, dog-gone it.   Shit. Is it because I’m a cunt?

The Petite Cuteness

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

She had me at “crocodile.”

Facebook: Feel the Hate!

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

Tonight, I heard my son remark about Facebook: “I find my self wondering, why are you my friend here when I fucking hate you?

So true. I went to look at my Facebook friends and I hate at least 5 of them. There are others who are complete strangers but I can assume that I’d probably hate 80% of them if I knew who they were.

It suddenly occurred to me that I might find my husband’s ex on Facebook, but no such luck. I only found her teenage son, who is throwing a gang sign in his profile photo and has 657 friends. YAY!

How many of your Facebook friends do you hate? And which nemesis has disappointed you by not being there?

I Pity the Fool

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

…who buys this crocodile “tail coat” jacket by Balmain, for $74,000.   Who will it be? Beyonce? Rihanna?

Someone will turn up wearing this, right? It’s fierce, killing it, bla bla bla.

Look at this bingo card I made here.   If you’re looking at a fashion website or blog and you see any 5 words in a row, you can yell “BINGO!”

Troubled Teen

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

My sister found this photo a couple of weeks ago.   I am thirteen, standing on the street with a cigarette, obviously looking for trouble. I found it, but that’s another story.

I was a child of the ’60’s, but god knows why I thought it was good to look like this. I remember the place in Venice where I used to buy long silk-velvet gowns for $6. I didn’t wear underwear or shoes, but eye-make-up was a priority.

Can you imagine being my mother? What a nightmare it must have been for her. She sometimes screamed at me, “I only hope one day you have a child just like you!” I’ve tried not to hurl this same curse at my own kids, but teenagers tend to challenge one’s patience and sanity.

At thirteen, I insisted that I was adult enough to do whatever I wanted, but in reality I was a complete idiot. Thinking about Tavi now, I see how focused she is. At least she knows something about something, even it’s all about runway fashion. I was an empty vessel, rebelling against authority with all my might, with no other interests or concerns.

I used to blame my parents for how defiant and out of control I was, but now I’m thinking that teenagers have to be awful, if for no other reason than to break away and live their own lives. If they weren’t awful, you might not encourage them to move the hell out of the house.

But some teenagers are more awful than they need to be. Were any of you as awful as me? Or even more awful? Do any of you have an awful teenager of your own to try not to kill deal with? Please share with the class!

Very Special Jeans

Saturday, January 23rd, 2010

Douche Bag??   Someone has some explaining to do.

Comments For Jane 1/21/2010

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Oh god, it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it. Here is Sea, modeling one of the hideous new pieces of jewelry that she and Mom have recently “acquired.” Funnily enough, Sea wears the giant monstrosity with an Incredible Vintage Chanel Jacket that Mom “found” on eBay.

Don’t make me show you the other monstosities pieces that Sea and Mom have “obtained” by the same designer. They are all gigantic and garish: a squid, a baboon, and a bunch of other stuff you would gladly pass up at a yard sale. A quick look at the designer’s website reveals that these items go for $500 and up.

Would you like to leave Sea a comment? Me first:

Dear Sea, You and Mom need to stop this compulsive “curating” of shoes and accessories.   Could you at least not brag about it while I’m trying to watch people die in Haiti? I think you have lost your way. Bigger isn’t better, it’s just bigger. Meanwhile, here are some other words you might like – procure, appropriate, harvest, reap, and attain. Love, SW