Archive for January, 2010

Come Together

Thursday, January 21st, 2010

My friend and fellow blogger Janet, who goes by the name Iheartfashion, has lost her husband to suicide. It is a terrible time for her and her two kids. No one saw this coming, and now she needs our support. If you can make a donation, even a tiny one, go here. If you can send her love and strength, go here.

Janet has listened to me in my moments of darkness. She is a woman with a big heart who now has a tough road to walk, but let’s remind her that she’s not alone.

Explain These Shoes, and More

Wednesday, January 20th, 2010

Just tell me why we need our feet to look like hooves or camel-toes. Is it because the designer is Maison Martin Margiela?

Can I tell you a secret? I don’t care about Martin Margiela! Or even Ann Demeulemeester! I’m over it. And yet, I still get a thrill from Goony Bird. She still needs to pee, evidently. Pee already, Goony Bird!

Since I can’t get too excited over fashion at the moment, I’m spending more time looking at art and photography. Here is a beautiful image by Alberto Rugolotto. I’m calling it “La Pieta.” Click on it for maximum effect.

If I can’t buy clothes, I can at least appreciate it as modeled by good looking men.

Online Shopping Addiction: The 12 Steps

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

1. Put your item in the shopping cart.
2. Open a new window and go to a news website
3. Take a few cleansing breaths
4. Think about all the things you own that are nearly EXACTLY like the thing in your cart.
5. Think about your unpaid bills.
6. Recall the last time you bought something that didn’t make you one bit happier.
7. Picture yourself ordering the item and feeling the inevitable remorse.
8. Now picture yourself feeling virtuous.
9. What a close call!
11. See? You can kick this habit: You are in control.
12. The next day, go back to your cart and buy your item because you really really want it.

*Photo by Jeongmee Yoon

Golden Globes 2009 Exegesis

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

If you missed the Golden Globes Awards, you didn’t miss much, but here are the highlights:

Nicole Kidman wanted to show off her nipples. Why, I have no idea. She appears to have lost her mind or her bathroom mirror. Remember when she dazzled us with her fashion choices at the Academy Awards? Maybe Tom Cruise was her stylist!

Monique gave a fabulous acceptance speech that made me want to be a big Black woman. She totally rules. Did you know she does stand up comedy for woman in prison? God bless Monique.

James Cameron was King of the World again, and gave a cliche-ridden speech that fooled no one. The man is a fucking cunt, and that’s that. I don’t know how Kathryn Bigelow keeps herself from killing him.

Colin Farrell was yumminess incarnate. Daniel Day Lewis looked good, too, and so did Robert Downey Jr. Jeff Bridges has morphed into Kris Kristofferson, and Somebody Reitman looked angry all night, except for when he won something.

Chloe Sevigny was punished for wearing a ridiculous see-through dress when someone stepped on her train and ripped it! What a moment! She managed to recover after a flash of rage, but it would have been classier if she’s ripped the rest of the dress before accepting her award.

What else? Jodie Foster looked so hot, you could hear the crowd gasp in surprise. Meryl Streep brought tears to everyone’s eyes when she talked about loss and gratitude. Jennifer Aniston nearly flashed her Female Area, and her nose seemed smaller than ever.

Jessica Lange displayed her tragic facelift, while Harrison Ford had trouble moving his face. Everyone wore conspicuous little ribbons signifying Support For Haiti, which were nicely set off by the emeralds and diamonds. Ricky Gervais was a saving grace, telling the audience: “Speaking of plastic surgery, I’ve had a penis reduction. Now I have just the one.”

Did I forget anything?

I’d Like to Thank the Gays

Saturday, January 16th, 2010

Remember when Lady Gaga said that on live TV? I thought it sounded insulting, until one of my own gays explained that she used the words ironically.

Watching Anderson Cooper reporting from Haiti tonight, I was struck anew by his charisma, courage, and palpable warmth. He manages to convey such genuine emotion without sacrificing professionalism. He is the essence of calm and confidence. He is hunky in a tight black t-shirt. And all the time, he’s as gay as the day is long!

I want Andy to come out. I know, I know, he’s not in the closet, but he’s not totally out yet, not officially. I can understand the notion that he doesn’t have to share his sexual orientation. There is dignity is keeping your private life to yourself, god knows, especially in this age of blubbering celebrity confessions.

But Anderson Cooper needs to let “Middle America” know that this is what a gay man looks like. He’s not some Other who’s threatening their Way of Life. He would give gay teenagers someone to look up to, a role model to guide their way. Does he owe it to gays to come out?

I think he does.   Because if he doesn’t, he’s implying that it needs to be a secret. And that has to change.

A popular blogger ‘came out’ recently to reveal that she’s been diagnosed with MS. She is aware that society feels uncomfortable around people with incurable illness, and people in chronic pain. But she empowered herself (even though I still hate the word “empowered”) by speaking up. Now, more people will feel okay about being who they are.

Everyone needs to practice tolerance and acceptance. We should condemn only stupidity and narrow-mindedness. I don’t know if it’s PC to call myself a fag hag, but I do love my gays and I want them to get married so I can nag them to let me be Best Man at the wedding.

Should Anderson Cooper come out? Or should he keep quiet like Tom Cruise, John Travolta and George Clooney?

American Red Cross

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

Donate here, or to Oxfam, or GlobalGiving.

Help for Haiti: Learn What You Can Do

Mom Is Mad At Me

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

Several readers told me to go check out Mom of Shoes‘ new boots, so naturally I was curious enough to take a look. I left a nice comment but guess what? She deleted it! And not only that, she deleted another comment by someone else, who merely said she wasn’t crazy about the boots. Very, very sad.

Why have comments if you only print the supportive ones?!? What’s the point?

I wish I could remember my exact words! They were something like, “Don’t you worry that thigh high stiletto boots worn with fur will bring to mind hookers?” Then I added that every day, I myself have to fight off the temptation to dress like a prostitute or schoolgirl.

It’s not like I know a better way to wear thigh high boots. When I posted this photo back in October of 2008, a reader told me I looked like a drag queen.

I know Mom will be reading this, so let me just say:   Dear Mom, I was trying to be playful! You can dress like a hooker if you want! It’s better than looking like a drag queen, right? I hope you’re not mad about that awful bell-sleeved coat, because you’ll still make a bundle of money on it.   Love, SW

Inspirations

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

I came across this picture of a Nature Girl With Lesbian Stick while browsing at twistedlamb, a blog with a very strong sensibility I’ll call Pagan Hipster. It involves S & M, sexual ambiguity, Goth glamor and a whiff of bestiality. It’s the work of a stylist who manages to find strikingly sinister images that often attract and repel, without just relying on leather and spikes.

When can we call for a moratorium on leather and spikes? It’s like every sex-shop since the beginning of time has spewed its merchandise all over the fashion industry, leaving moto-this and moto-that everywhere. Enough, for godsake! The backlash is bound to be a return to modesty and preppy cleanliness. I think I’m ready for it.

Looking around the fashion blogs, I see how many are basically a collection of images, sometimes punctuated by a collage of “Stuff I Love!” or “Things That Inspire Me!” Kate Moss,   Bridgette Bardot, Anita Pallenberg, and Jane Birkin are the usual style muses, then there’s some obscure Death Metal Band or European poet.

I’m more inspired by people like Tragic Fashion Boy, who makes a bold new statement with red (thanks to andrea for the tip!)

For some reason, even though he evokes my maternal instinct, I just can’t imagine being his mother. But in the photo below, I feel he is talking to his mom. Am   I right?

Who is he talking to, and what is he saying?

English, Motherfucker! Do You Speak It?

Monday, January 11th, 2010

So much fuss over words! And yet, what else do we have if we want to communicate? I am constantly amazed by how often people complain when you expect them to either say what they mean or mean what they say. I am accused of nitpicking if I repeat a word someone used when they don’t want to take responsibility for its actual meaning.

In a comment thread about Sarah Palin, I was upset by the misuse of the word nonplussed. But apparently, usage experts are beginning to acccept its use for the OPPOSITE of its definition. Nonplussed does not mean “nonchalant” or “not bothered!” It means the FUCKING OPPOSITE! Negro, please! It’s like when people think they can use the word “literally” to mean “figuratively.” Or “I could care less” when they mean “I couldn’t care less.”

No no no no no no. Words don’t, and never will, mean the opposite of themselves.

So, back to “Negro.” I was just testing you when I used it. Is it offensive? If so, why? Everyone is up in arms over the Harry Reid quote about Obama, characterizing him as a “light-skinned African American….who   doesn’t use Negro dialect..” I swear to god, I don’t see the racism. Reid was just explaining why Obama was electable as President. He was an early Obama supporter and to me, it sounds merely factual. To many normal people (i.e. not Republicans) Reid’s language was decidely racist, even if forgivable.

John McWhorter, a linguist and journalist who is black, explains why he doesns’t find Reid’s comment racist.   And he is quoted by Andrew Sullivan, who adroitly compares the greater acceptability of light-skinned Blacks to society at large to openly gay men who don’t seem effeminate.

Is it racist to even be aware of race? Do we have to be color-blind in order to escape being accused of racism?

Here’s a disagreement I just had with one of my nephews, who insists that Reid’s language is racist. Years ago, I was mugged on my doorstep by a big Black guy who grabbed my bag, knocked me down, and ran to a waiting car. When recalling the incident that’s exactly how I describe it. Am I racist for noting that the guy was Black? My nephew asked how I’d feel if someone described their mugger as a “big-nosed dirty Jew.” I’m pretty sure I’d laugh, as I am while typing this. Although I guess I’m a little annoyed by the nose reference, which I find size-ist, if not nose-ist.

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Awful Jeans of the Week

Monday, January 11th, 2010

By our friends at Tripp.