I Told You Hair is Everything!

Just look what happens when you take away Mrs. Palin’s trademark big hair! It’s like Samson after Delilah got through with him!

A genius over here altered some pictures of Mrs. P by removing the long hair (along with the glasses and trashy earrings.) Voila, she is instantly disempowered.

Without going into my Nobel Prize Exegesis on the subliminal sources of Mrs. Palin’s magnetism (because I haven’t written it yet) I will just say that without these totems, she loses the medley of conflicting archetypes that serve to resonate with both her fans and detractors.

With the Big Hair and other accoutrement’s, she is simultaneously a Vixen, Church Lady, Librarian, Dominatrix, Stripper and Mommy. Take that shit away and   what do you have?

(I know Mr. Duff will have a good answer.)

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37 Responses to “I Told You Hair is Everything!”

  1. Miggs Says:

    Wow, I think she actually think she looks 10 times better in the after pictures.

  2. skye Says:

    She looks better – but also more boring, and perhaps a tad lesbian-ish. Still hate her guts.

  3. Faux Fuchsia Says:

    This proves a theory that the scientists at the Faux Fuchsia Institute for Scientific Research have been working on for years : Good Hair is Key.

  4. dust Says:

    Without hair she looks like Russian proletarian mother/wife/factory worker. Without glasses she looks like beaten Russian proletarian mother/wife/factory worker.
    So sad…

  5. Iheartfashion Says:

    Still despicable, hair or not.

  6. Make Do Style Says:

    Loathsome regardless.

  7. annemarie Says:

    Let this be a lesson to us all– ALWAYS WEAR LIPSTICK.

  8. David Duff Says:

    Drop dead gorgeous!

    Er, the “drop dead” is for all you jealous, vindictive, vitriolic, old fishwives with your triple chins, sagging tits, varicose veins, thinning hair, gnarled fingers; and the “gorgeous”, of course, is for Sarah the Supreme!

    Palin & Coulter for 2012 – remember you read it here first!

  9. arline Says:

    I assure you, that I am not at all jealous of Mrs. Palin’s looks, voice, personality or mind.

    The only thing of hers I would not mind possessing, is her charisma, she does have that.

  10. XuXu Says:

    I would love it if you checked out my blog.

    similar soul shit.

    and: Karen Finley is truly the queen.

    http://www.frenchshelter.blogspot.com

    la XuXu

  11. Cricket9 Says:

    How right you are, Sister. Without the hair and glasses she’s totally blah, no matter what Mr. Duff says. I’m thinking about Ann Coulter with dark stringy hair, and 30 pounds heavier. And maybe mute. No, actually, I don’t want to think about Ann Coulter AT ALL. EVER.

  12. my favorite and my best Says:

    she looks like a democrat now. or a lesbian.

  13. OMGGMAB Says:

    I would not want to be this idiotic narcassitic woman ever! If I were her I would have to give up my graduate degree so that I could have a fake journalism degree from the university of who knows where. Then I would have to wear a bumpit, throw my family under a bus, learn word salad, and hang with fat asses like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck. Ugh, where’s the jealousy part come in?

    I’m ten times better looking than her anyway and my plastic surgeon made sure my boobs don’t sag, Duff.

  14. Make Do Style Says:

    Duff – have you been neglecting your family to post! My breasts are holding up well, in fact very page 3 perky! We must meet so you can see there is no fishwife in me.

  15. Juri Says:

    I’m only too delighted to report that my tits don’t sag either. I do envy her hair, though!

  16. Lizzifer Says:

    Jesus Sister Wolf, stop it! I just pissed myself! Here I am, supposed to be sending out resumes, and once again I’m sneaking away to read your blog! I know what’s going to happen, but I never learn. wah wah wah.
    Sarah, post make-under, would make a great butch lezzer (kinda a Janet Reno-esque vibe with the doo??)…if only someone could remove the demon she currently possesses and insert a more caring and rational soul.
    P.S. My dearest boyfriend couldn’t be torn away from his computer to check out the Sarah Unplugged site because, in his own words, “No, I’m not looking at that. She’s so repulsive I can’t even look at her in jest.”
    WIN!!!!!!!!
    P.P.S. Who is that David D. guy? How could any self-respecting Jew, named David, ever support the Sarah monster? I’m personally kicking “David” out of the tribe. Bam.

  17. theresa Says:

    the bad hair really frames her nose and general beak-iness. what you have is a brown parrot with weird eyebrows.

    and maybe something else. but not much of it, whatever it is.

    (she’s never fascinated me. though I do enjoy the contributions Levi has made to entertainment.)

  18. Eliza Says:

    Oh, dear, David. Are you so blindly by quickies in the back of the PTA meeting that you cannot judge Palin by her unapologetic lack of intelligence or qualifications?

    23 here, nothing sagging or spreading, although I’m honest enough to say I’m plain faced but would never wish to look like her, even during veneered pagentry days. She’s not offensive looking, but what’s so special that it’s clouded conservative judgment over someone further derailing the party towards God to the detriment of small government? You wonder why Libertarians are the third largest party in the U.S.?

  19. Eliza Says:

    *blinded

  20. Sister Wolf Says:

    Miggs – More like a normal person, correct.

    Skye – YES! Lesbitious, very much so. Hating her is what it’s all about. xoxo

    Faux Fuchsia – Damn right.

    dust – Brilliant.

    Iheartfashion – Bingo.

    Make Do – Or as she would say, “irregardless.”

    annemarie – Preaching to the choir!

    David – HAHAHAHAHA!

    arline – and so did Hitler.

    XuXu – Will do.

    Cricket9 – No, don’t dwell on that…but someone needs to follow up on that idea with photoshop.

    my favorite – Yep, a lesbian democrat.

    OMGGMAB – YES! Sing it, Sister!

    Make Do – He can’t see your boobs until he apologizes!

    Juri – Duly noted and put in your file.

    Lizzifer – He is not blessed with Jewishness, hence his inferior intelligence.

    theresa – “what you have is a brown parrot with weird eyebrows” = This is poetry. Beautiful.

    Eliza – Mr. Duff is irrational on the subject of Mrs. Palin. He is thinking with his male appendage.

  21. cker Says:

    Oh dear Duff, never so blind is one who refuses to see. Open your eyes, man. The woman is bereft of rational thoughts and what ever beauty one might aspire to Palin is surely paled when she open her mouth. Duff, you are out of the running with your sweet Sarah. It’s only Todd and Godd for that babe. Ugh!

  22. Eliza Says:

    As a lesbian I would like to issue an official disclaimer that we do not support this haircut any more than we do the politician.

  23. Marmalade Wombat Says:

    looks a lot like my high school latin teacher – nice lady, always shopped at vinnies, wore shoes made out of meshy material years before the YSL cage boots, with a slightly mad glint in her eye.

  24. Aja Says:

    Rough. “As in the sound a dog makes?” . . . “Noooo, as in the way your mother likes it Trebek”.

  25. TheShoeGirl Says:

    The first one isn’t so bad… very plain Jane but not hideous.
    The second however- YIKES. She looks like a greasy Amish grandmother with liver lips.

  26. Jenny Dunville Says:

    S. Palin is a creation of Rush Limbaugh, Karl Rove & some male dork legislator from one of the Carolina’s. A vision of what they like to see in a woman. Ugh!f%!*!! There’s so much wrong here. I think I’m bothered most by women who find her appealing. Bumpits are bad but, French Manicured finger & toenails??? Jeeeesusss.

  27. David Duff Says:

    Right, ladies, enough is enough! I am prepared to forgive and forget your thinning hair, gnarled fingers and varicose veins but sagging tits are a matter of principle. Several of you have claimed – heh! – that you do not, in fact, step back rapidly whilst removing your bra. As an old-style English gentleman, of course, I hesitate to doubt a lady but on this highly important matter proof is required. I look forward with trembling expectations to witnessing a gallery of topless photos here on ‘godammit.com’. Come on, Ladies, you have nothing to lose but your knee-caps – and think what cheer you will bring to an old man in his dotage!

  28. HelOnWheels Says:

    @dust – That’s an insult to Russian proletarian mothers/wives/factory workers, beaten or unbeaten.

  29. JAMMMMMTV Says:

    LOL. Seriously, amazing.

  30. cker Says:

    Duff, be a true gentleman and show yours first. That’s right, baby. Drop ‘em to your ankles. Hmmm, has plastic surgery advanced enough to stop the old man shrivel that you undoubtably suffer from? I don’t quiver with anticipation but a good, roaring laugh is always good for the soul.

  31. David Duff Says:

    Madam, were I to display my organ of increase it would be your chins which would threaten the well-being of your knees! Many a time and oft’ in the past, even a glimpse vouchsafed to one of my numerous ‘groupies’ has brought tears to their eyes and, no, I’m pretty sure they weren’t laughing – er, I think!

  32. TheShoeGirl Says:

    Hey Duff… check out my sweet titties.

  33. TheShoeGirl Says:

    oops… it didn’t link (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/cd/Ptosis.jpg&imgrefurl=http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ptosis.jpg&usg=__PEU5b7JxvF3_w3zA0cJ09VWjLg0=&h=368&w=736&sz=133&hl=en&start=17&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=cb88h4bB0fwbFM:&tbnh=71&tbnw=141&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsaggy%2Bbreasts%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1)

  34. David Duff Says:

    Alas and alack, ‘Shoe Girl’, those twin proofs of Newton’s theory of gravitation bear an uncomfortable resemblance to my appendage these days. ‘Tempus fuckit’!

  35. Mark Says:

    So cunty…

  36. Aja Says:

    Bahahahaa Shoe Girl I didn’t think you would take it there . . . and then you did :)

  37. asailor Says:

    Interesting. These photo edits make her look more plain, and in some she looks less powerful. But none of them really strip her of her mature beauty and appearance of intelligence. I don’t want her to run for office again (even though I’m conservative) and I’m not fond of her personality, but I think Palin is visually impressive with or without the accoutrements. And she’s really no different than the vast majority of women in our country, whose appeal seems to depend in large measure on the prosthesis of makeup and hair.

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