Archive for March, 2010

Bill Donohue: Cunt of the Week™

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

Bill Donohue, president of The Catholic League, is such a fucking cunt, he is almost off the scale. I watched him on Larry King last night, on a panel discussion of the current crisis facing the Catholic church.

Donohue was nuts from the opening gate, but watch him achieve full red-in-the face psychotic cunthood as he screams that when boys over the age of 12 are molested by priests, it’s “homosexuality” not “pedophilia.”

This man is breathtakingly crazy. His primary concern is to defend his beloved Pope, and in doing so he reveals the hateful, homophobic underbelly of the Catholic Church, which is apparently run like the Mafia, only with less regard for actual family.

Bill Donohue: Shameless fat windbag and grade-A Cunt of the Week .

A Genius Speaks

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

On the subject of Terry Richardson, here is blogger ‘Gnarlitude Jen’:

“If someone is uncomfortable in any situation, they have the fucking choice to say NO.
Sorry but this is a choice those models made. If he got naked and they weren’t having it, walk the fuck out. Otherwise, don’t complain about him later when you chose to be there. If your agency drops you because you didn’t want to suck him off, well then that’s that. Don’t give me none of this pussy shit. So now everyone reads all these ‘terrible stories and omg he’s such a bad guy’. Has no one seen his photos before? What’d they think was gonna happen? All good clean fun and maybe some prayer circle after?
So if a model gives him a hand job, did he force his dick in their hand? If they’re that hungry for fame that they’re willing to do whatever to get it, including sucking him off and then whining all over about it later then fuck them.”

Inappropriate Cravings

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

On my mental list of shit I wish I could buy, the most persistent craving is also the most inappropriate: leather shorts.

I can’t think of another fashion purchase that would be more inappropriate, except maybe a romper. (Sorry about the word “romper.”)

No one wants to see Grandma in leather shorts! Even though I’m not anyone’s grandma, I could be. And that alone makes it wrong. It doesn’t matter what kind of legs I have, it’s the mutton dressed as lamb thing. And yet, every time I see a nice pair of leather shorts, I get all excited and start clicking on sizes, as if I might actually buy them. The only person I can think of who should wear leather shorts is Queen Michelle. Otherwise, they are only suitable for prostitutes and Chloe Sevigny.

What is your current most inappropriate fashion craving? Don’t be shy: All confessions will result in immediate absolution!

Footwear That Dare Not Speak Its Name

Monday, March 29th, 2010

Will you look at this shit? Is it a shoe or a boot or something else that never should have happened?

It’s by Jeffrey Campbell, duh, and it’s called “The Knee High Iconic Gladiator” and here I forget the last word, either shoe or boot.

The worst thing is that I meant to post this yesterday and NOW THIS ICONIC-WHATEVER IS COMPLETELY SOLD OUT!

Please forgive me! It was at Karmaloop. God. Am I Cunt of the Week  now?

Some Bloke Came up to Me…

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

All New Nordstrom Adventure

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

When you’re unemployed and have no money, you go out to have lunch in department stores. If you use your charge card, it’s free.   Here I am at Nordstrom on Friday, trying on a pseudo-Chanel jacket by Trina Turk.

Seen up close, it’s really a lovely tweed fabric, with little specks of a million colors, including metallic gold threads. The only thing that stopped me from buying it (remember, it would be FREE if I charged it!) was the inescapable fact that I’d never wear it. I couldn’t even pretend that I’d wear it. Maybe if I bought the free matching skirt, I would wear it, but I never wear skirts.

The jacket is $356.00, but this picture doesn’t do it justice.

There’s nothing like the feeling of virtuousness you get from leaving a department store without buying a single thing. I felt like Mother Theresa. I had a heartwarming exchange with Faith, the Hot Nordstrom Girl. I also bonded briefly with a kooky lady who was interested in my handbag. Here, take a look.

I admired her pig, and told her that I had nearly bought that pig myself. She screamed “Samesies!” in delight. I asked my friend R to document these events because at this point, if you can’t document it, it’s not worth doing.

Since I’m always (i.e., never) asked, “Sister Wolf, you are so radiantly beautiful at your advanced age, what are your beauty secrets?” I will share the basics with you:

1. First, you adopt a cyber-daughter (annemarie) who will send you her red Paul Smith cords.
2. Make sure you NEVER leave home without your red lipstick. Ruby Woo by M.A.C. in this instance.
3. Don’t brush your hair and don’t cut it.
4. Eat plenty of sugar! Ice cream is the most important food group, followed by cookies.
5. Stress is KEY. Try to make sure you’re under constant stress.
6. Avoid exercise as much as possible
7. Finally, sleep deprivation: Stay up until 3 in the morning, just fucking around for no reason.

There you have it! Whatever anyone else tells you to do, DON’T. It’s too much trouble.

While we’re thinking about beauty, check out this project by photographer Zed Nelson, called “Love Me,” to shake up your ideas about the pursuit of attractiveness and its consequences.

Comments For Jane 3/28/2010

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

Sea has been on the road with Dad, I think to SXSW to hear some awful new bands. She got to hang out with her Asian-ish friend Ronald, but really the main event was her new boots by Maison Martin Margiela, available now at net-a-porter for $1245.00

Do we think that these boots were a free gift from Martin Margiela? Because otherwise, the shoe bill in this family for just the last month is astronomical. Oh well, what’s money, right?   In other news, Sea is super excited about being identified as a “pervert” on a fasion blog. She’s really arrived! She’s practically Madonna! It’s fun to have a naughty reputation! Plus, you can keep hoarding shoes while you cultivate the pervert thing!

I’m getting tired of Sea, to tell you the truth. I only want to keep a tab on the shoe expenditure. The story seems to have stalled, hasn’t it? I need some plot development, some forward movement. I might have to start inventing a narrative for Sea and Mom unless they can crank up the pace.

Sea doesn’t care what you think. She wants you to look at her and her expensive shoes, to hear about Ronnie and all the nice hotels she stays in, but if you have an opinion you can fucking well keep it to yourself. Or, you can leave it here. I will go first:

Dear Sea, I am losing interest in you but all is not lost. Mom’s gigantic metal beetle belt is making me think that maybe Mom is the real story here. Would you feel bad if I start making up adventures for you and Mom? I could have Carol appear at the end of each one to deliver a moral lesson. Think it over. Love, SW.   P.S. Enough with the red hair.

Goony Bird Perfects Her Stare

Friday, March 26th, 2010

How does she do it?!?

(Rag and Bone at Shopbop)

Trade in Your Old Butt

Friday, March 26th, 2010

Reading an article about the rise in Ethnic Rhinoplasty, I clicked on a doctor’s name and Voila! His gallery of Buttock Augmentation before-and-after pictures is astounding!

Who even thinks of getting their butt augmented? It seems like it would be way down the list of an averagely vain person. But maybe that’ s just me. Maybe it will take the place of breast implants as the surgery of choice for insecure women.

Looking at these butts, I can’t help being amazed by the time and money and suffering invested in them. The pursuit of a round protruding ass seems nuts, but like much that is strange and offensive it does provide some compelling imagery. I’m going back to look at the Mommy Makeovers when I’m through with the butts.

H&M Responds

Thursday, March 25th, 2010

Dear [Sister],

Thank you for your email.

One of the campaigns at H&M this spring was shot by Terry Richardson. We always have an H&M representative present during our fashion shoots and we have no information that something inappropriate has happened. If these accusations are true though, it is of course unacceptable.

We have no upcoming campaigns with Terry Richardson.

Best regards, H & M Hennes & Mauritz AB

—–Original Message—–
From: []
Sent: den 25 mars 2010 09:42
Subject: Sweden Sweden : H&M ads photographed by Terry Richardson

E-mail / E-mail: sisterwol

Subject / Subject: H&M ads photographed by Terry Richardson

Message / Message:
I would like to protest H&M’s use of photographer Terry Richardson in its advertising campaigns. Terry Richardson is known to be a sexual predator who has abused fashion models and sexually harassed them.

Please let me know what you plan to do about this.

Thanks in advance for taking action on this matter.