Archive for April, 2010

Bad Taste Alert

Friday, April 30th, 2010

Jesus. Ugh.

“Exclusive tribute tee to Alexander McQueen; crew neck tee reading “Fashion Is Suicide” on front and “Fashion Is Not Suicide, R.I.P. A. McQueen” on back; 100% cotton.”

By Dimepiece Designs.   $42 at Karmaloop

Cunt of the Week™: The State of Arizona

Friday, April 30th, 2010

A reader nominated this week’s winner and while it’s not often we think of an entire state as a cunt, Arizona is an exception.

Arizona’s Immigration Bill SB1070 means that all immigrants in Arizona must now carry their alien registration documents, and   police can question anyone they think may be in the United States illegally. It will also address people that knowingly hire illegal immigrants or who transport them.

Addressing questions of racial profiling, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer said: “Racial profiling is illegal.”

Ha!

The Governor stated in an executive order that police will require training to help them execute the bill without it becoming racial profiling.

Okay. So the police will be able to stop and question anyone they think may be here illegally, but it won’t be racial profiling.

I don’t understand why such a large segment of Americans wants to pin this country’s problems on immigrants, but you can’t tell me it’s not based on bigotry and racism. “They’re taking our jobs!” is just bullshit. Every single day, I thank a Mexican or Central American immigrant for helping me. The jobs they fill are usually minimum wage but no one is stopping blond caucasions from doing them.

My grandparents were immigrants. America is a melting pot! I hope Arizona’s new Immigration law is repealed but until then, it qualifies at a fucking cunt.

Another Goddess

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

Oooooh! She’s like a cross between Daria and Angelina. How can someone be so beautiful?!

Naty Chamanenko may not have a gap between her teeth, but I may have to dump Abby Lee for her.

Do you have a non-lesbitious crush on a gorgeous model? Or a lesbitious one?

Ferocious, with Antlers

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

I feel like I’m probably the last person to discover Mouton Collet, but better late then never, in this case. Everyone loves antlers, so this furry hate is “right on trend.”   Mouton Collet designed a white antler hat for Lady Gaga but I personally don’t care about her wardrobe, her nose, or anything else. Let’s just ignore her for now.

These bracelets take spikes to a new level. I want them to be leather but I’m not sure what they’re made of.

These necklaces look like leather and goat hair. The collection is called Féroce and you can see more images here.

All in all, I’d say it reminds me of Natalia Brilli, but a little more Pagan Hipster  and nutty. Mouton Collet also designed a collection of silver jewelry for men, and here is an image I find strangely appealing.

I’ve named this guy “My Houseboy.”

The Black Baby Gambit

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

AS IF!

This has got to be the most outrageous damage-control move in the history of publicists. Imagine being at the meeting where this story was hatched.

“Okay, we’ve got to change the narrative about Sandra, asap! The Nazi stories are killing us!”

“Yeah, this really sucks. If we don’t move quickly, Sandy will be strapped forever with the Cheating Nazi Husband image and that’s gonna sink her in the end. People are already saying that she must have known about Jesse.”

“Shit.”

“Wait! I have an idea.”

“Fire away!”

“Well, it’s kind of crazy, but it just might work. Let’s say that Sandra has an adopted baby…”

“Naw, people will smell spin-control if she adopts now.”

“Right. But let’s say SHE ALREADY HAS AN ADOPTED BABY! She’s been keeping it secret, though.”

“But why would she do that?”

“Oh, who cares. Just hear me out. Not only a baby, but a BLACK BABY!”

“Jesus.”

“Listen, think about it! This will change the Sandra Bullock narrative overnight! No one will give a shit about the Nazi husband and the strippers.”

“Oh man,   it’s a no brainer! Genius! Call Sandy and then get someone to go track down a baby and make sure it’s black.”

“Haiti?”

“Too slow. Go local.”

Irregular Choice or Unspeakable Horror?

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

I’m aware that the shoe brand Irregular Choice has its fans but surely this specimen is unforgivable.   Take a moment to ponder the insults going on here. For some reason, the open toe strikes me as the last straw.

I’m sad that the site selling this shoe doesn’t engage in descriptive language.   I can’t begin to imagine what anyone could say.   “Rats chewed the heel off this plucky little oxford and we patched the front with Grandma’s curtains!”

I can’t do it. Is anyone up to the challenge?

Mommy

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

Here’s my mom. She died on April 27, 2001.   She loved opera, chili, shoes, vodka, books   and traveling. On her deathbed, watching Jeopardy on TV, she shouted out “Loyola!” and she was correct.

She was nuts, and I miss her.

If you feel like it, go read this in her honor.

Gap Teeth Love

Monday, April 26th, 2010

I don’t know why a gap between the front teeth is so endearing, but I assume it’s something to do with evoking babies. I can’t resist a gap-toothed smile.   It’s only fair that Johnny Depp got the gappest-toothed woman in the world.

My BFF has a gap, and I’d ask my dentist to give me one if I thought he’d cooperate.

Is Brigitte Bardot the modern prototype, or was there someone before her?? (The Wife of Bath doesn’t count.)

Comments for Jane 4-26-2010

Sunday, April 25th, 2010

Let’s get through this quickly:   Sea is so excited about her shopping trip to Tokyo that she’s already started packing. Why is she packing those Prada shoes that are supposed to be Mom’s? There’s some funny business going on with those shoes, just don’t ask me what.

Sea also posed on her bed for some photos with a wistful look on her face. I’m beginning to feel queasy about her nostrils, which seem unusually cavernous lately.

Mom’s eBay purchases in the last six months have reached a total of 393. That is some mad curating!

Even though Sea doesn’t allow comments, she has asked her readers to recommend the best toy stores in Tokyo.

If you can help out with the toy stores OR just want to say Hi, you can leave your comments for Sea here. I will go first:

Dear Sea, Have fun in Tokyo and please spend as much of Dad’s money as is humanly possible. Thanks, xo SW

Sass & Bide Plus Goony Bird =

Sunday, April 25th, 2010

What the hell is up with Sass & Bide?

This skirt is just baffling.   Shopbop, naturally, $265.   Add Goony Bird and it’s a complete nightmare.

Can anyone explain?