Cunt of the Week™: BleachBlack
This week’s award will have to be shared by the two authors of BleachBlack, a style blog that is rife with exclamations of fuck, sick, dude, stoked, rad, killer, major, kickass, um, and all the other blogese we have come to expect from 20-something women who act like naughty schoolgirls.
Bleach and Black created a green nail polish called “Dickweed,” and that was just silly.
Now, they’ve come up with a new color called “Jizz,” a pearly-white that is modeled above by their pal Roomy, whom they slavishly mention at every opportunity.
Here’s the problem. It’s one thing to be a stupid would-be whore who manages to make money by posting photos of consumer goods and videos with the caption “How amazing is this!” or “Hedi Slimane is a Genius!” It’s another thing to market nail polish called Jizz to their audience of clueless fashion girls.
Jizz? Dude. Is that like the coolest, funniest name for white nail polish, like ever?
I wouldn’t like to have to explain to my kids what jizz means. The whole idea is just sad. Why not spunk or smegma? I don’t like people who use the word jizz. They should use the word “come” but they don’t need to use it for nail polish. I think that in recent years, young girls have been giving out blowjobs with their phone numbers; the act has been downgraded from one of love and intimacy to a cheap party favor.
Nail polish called Jizz is an extention of that trend. It’s also a reminder of how the vernacular of porn has entered the everyday consciousness of the masses.
I resent BleachBlack for blighting my life with their lowbrow witlessness. Why did god make them? I hope you will join me in congratulating them for achieving the coveted Cunt of the Week™ award!
Tags: bloggers, morons, nail polish
April 14th, 2010 at 11:56 pm
LOL I think jizz is an hilarious name for nail polish. However fucking hate that fashiontoast cunt. In Australia we would call her a ‘fucken mole’.
April 15th, 2010 at 12:36 am
OMG! That is, like, sooooo funny.
Cretins.
April 15th, 2010 at 12:58 am
When I think of something I want all over the tips of my fingers, semen doesn’t immediately spring to mind.
April 15th, 2010 at 2:13 am
I agree with Trashforce. That is kind of gross.
April 15th, 2010 at 2:18 am
I suggest “cervical mucous” for their next nail polish – a nice off white!
April 15th, 2010 at 2:24 am
Atleast its not Jizz lip balm.
I hate the over sexualisation of society which is why I appreciate your blog. I feel bad hating other girls when society still picks on us but I can’t justify defending part of the problem.
I went on a tangent didnt I?
April 15th, 2010 at 3:04 am
Trashforce – Aha, that could be the difference between us and them.
SKye – A nice shout-out for parity in body fluids!
Paris underwater – Don’t feel too bad about hating other girls. It’s because we want girls to be better! To represent our gender more intelligently! To not be idiots!
April 15th, 2010 at 3:14 am
Beyond vile.
Queen Marie
x
April 15th, 2010 at 3:38 am
I just looked at that blog, and I have no original comments, as I agree with Queen Marie.
My question would be WHY is that necessary?
April 15th, 2010 at 4:03 am
tryhard edginess. so boring.
April 15th, 2010 at 4:19 am
I read about this yesterday and I was immediately grossed out too. All I could think was “is this the best you can do?”
April 15th, 2010 at 4:23 am
Here are a few ideas for the girls: greenish-yellow polish called “Bile”, or maybe “Snoot”, burgundy called “Menstrual Blood”, bright red one – “Arterial Blood”,
off- white called “Dandruff”, and so on. Then you just drench yourself in the newest rad scent “Hockey Player’s Sweat” and you are ready to go.
April 15th, 2010 at 4:38 am
make it stoooop!!
bring class back!
off with their heads! and terry richardson and the fucker who owns american apparel as well!
April 15th, 2010 at 4:50 am
SW shoots; SW scores.
April 15th, 2010 at 4:51 am
“Why not spunk or smegma?” I should know better than to sip my coffee while reading your blog. Now it’s in my lungs (the coffee, not the spunk). At 30 years old, I just had a total Beavis & Butthead giggle fit at the word spunk. (Sigh) And yes, Paris Underground, me too on the other girls thing. I’ve never understood the “I, like, totally hate it when men, like, treat me like I’m dumb or something just because I’m pretty (hair twirl)” thing.
April 15th, 2010 at 4:55 am
these two are obviously just another whacked-out bunch worshiping at the church of erin “homelessness is like rad stylish dude” wasson. jizzweed dickhead bleachout.
off with their heads indeed.
they CAN be entertaining, sometimes, though. and very rarely they even have alerted me to an interesting designer i had never heard of previously.
April 15th, 2010 at 5:23 am
“I think that in recent years, young girls have been giving out blowjobs with their phone numbers; the act has been downgraded from one of love and intimacy to a cheap party favor
“…totally agree with you!
April 15th, 2010 at 5:24 am
My boyfriend’s daughter is ten and she announced at the dinner table that she now knows what a queef is. I didn’t know what a queef was until I actually had one. I don’t think she knows it has anything to do with sex, but she knows wherefrom it originates, so to speak. That boggles my mind.
April 15th, 2010 at 5:44 am
How about a brown polish called “Shit Yeah!” Or another whitish beigey one called “Funky Spunk”? (remember funky spunk from and episode of Sex and the City?)
April 15th, 2010 at 5:46 am
Kids are exposed to much more at a more rapid rate. That is a fact that people have to realize. That being said, it is disappointing that they are now marketing themselves like this. I was an avid reader of their blog until it became a sleek advertisement for whatever the bloggers themselves were given or what their friends were creating. I thought the dickweed nail polish was funny, to be honest. Jizz, on the other hand, is a pretty classless name.
April 15th, 2010 at 6:50 am
I had never looked at this blog until C of the W was bestowed upon them, after a quick look, far too many fierce, rad and killing it sentences for me.
Killing what exactly?
If the objective is to look stylish beyond reproach, why would you want to kill it? I am confused by the terminology
And maybe I am going to regret asking this question, but what is a queef?
April 15th, 2010 at 7:01 am
OOooohhh, they named their nail polish Jizz, get it? It’s hysterical! See what they did there? So edgy, so original! UGH.
As an aside, my favorite part of this post is that when I rest my cursor over the picture, it says “Roomy likes jizz.”
April 15th, 2010 at 7:08 am
Great post………I agree with you!
April 15th, 2010 at 7:54 am
Don’t get me wrong, I actually like Rumi. Sister, I’ve never quite understood your hate of her the way I get why you rag on Sea- Rumi’s taste isn’t mine, but it’s hard for me to hate her just because she pouts in photographs or wears skimpy clothes.
Re: the nailpolish name, lipstick/nailpolish shades have been referencing sex for so long, it’s hardly radical (yes, radical, not ‘rad’) to call it Jizz. I mean, doesn’t NARS market a lipstick/gloss called Orgasm? And if I were to call up the memory of the vampy lipcolours I wore when I was younger and stupider, I bet a few of them would be something wannabe-sexy too. Jizz just sounds like a stupid joke. Or a drunk bee.
I like the word spunk and wish bloody Sex and the City hadn’t come along and ruined it for me. I didn’t even know it was also a synonym for semen before that. Stupid Samantha.
April 15th, 2010 at 8:09 am
Also, some credit to the girl: she has actual cats, not $$$ stuffed-toy ones (I saw the comments on post just before this one, and oh god it’s so amazing to laugh at).
April 15th, 2010 at 8:15 am
They’re 20.
They’re morons.
When they gain a little common sense, they’ll regret it.
April 15th, 2010 at 8:41 am
I’m still laughing at “Roomy.”
April 15th, 2010 at 8:49 am
I like the color, but–ick!–what a wretched name. It’s all the fault of Urban Decay, that 90s brand that started the trend of edgy polish colors. I’m actually wearing a purply-blue from UD today, but am blissfully aware of what its name might be.
April 15th, 2010 at 8:54 am
That type of blog is gonna die soon, soooooo 2008.
Next!
It scares me thaat blowjobs are the new kissing…is anal the new vaginal sex?!
My niece better not turn into a slut, I’ll kick her ass.
April 15th, 2010 at 8:55 am
LOL @ Cricket9
April 15th, 2010 at 9:03 am
HA! My other blogger friend did a post about them yesterday, too.
http://derherzen.blogspot.com/2010/04/stop-presses-style-bloggers-kristin-and.html
April 15th, 2010 at 9:15 am
*They should use the word “come” *
Rap my knuckles with a ruler if you wish, Sister, but that should be spelled “cum.”
And personally, I’m sorta partial to the name Cheesy Vaginal Discharge for a nail polish. Or anything else, for that matter.
April 15th, 2010 at 9:30 am
Talk about kismet…you had me at “cunt of the week.”
[and thank you Alicia -- I'm official going to fail all of my exams because I now have ONE MORE blog to obsessive go through!]
April 15th, 2010 at 9:31 am
officially* if I don’t get some damn SLEEP!!
April 15th, 2010 at 9:37 am
I’m 24 and a nail varnish called jizz made me laugh. Simple pleasures.
The name of the nail polish didn’t make me get angry about teenagers giving blowjobs to people they don’t love, or worry about explaining jism to children… for a start when i was a kid all my nailvarnish came from the market, cost less than a quid and was named something eastern european i couldn’t even read.
April 15th, 2010 at 9:47 am
*cost less than a quid *
Luv it.
April 15th, 2010 at 9:52 am
ellio100: to be honest, ‘Dickweed’ made me laugh more. I really like the colour of it- and my nailpolish still comes from China and costs less than a quid. Kristin’s vocabulary annoys me, I admit, but honestly, if I can covet Wendy Brandes’s swear rings, I’d rather wear varnish called Dickweed/ Jizz with them than, say, Pretty Conventionally-named- Nailpolish.
I’d have honestly thought it was stupider if the Bleachblack duo had called their varnish something like Tropical Opal, or Cloudy Pearl, or what have you.
April 15th, 2010 at 10:22 am
It is enough to make one sniff and demand smelling salts – youth of today a bunch of cunts!
April 15th, 2010 at 10:36 am
Not only do I freaking hate the word “jizz,” but this whole post makes me want to punch people in the face.
(Anger issues, no!)
I just HATE that people think that sex automatically=edgy=cool=funny. It reminds me of high school drama class, where students would just use improv time as a time to showcase sexual humor because they COULDN’T come up with something genuinely clever. Oh, and straight guys pretended they were gay, too. All those things: automatic laughs. Pity the child who actually referenced theater in his or her act. You could hear the crickets.
So FAIL on this nailpolish, and in my humble-but-correct opinion, FAIL on anyone who associates with Rooooooooooomy.
April 15th, 2010 at 10:38 am
PS now that I saw that blog…that layout makes me want to punch them in the face. Again.
April 15th, 2010 at 10:47 am
I love your blog but maybe sticking the word ‘cunt’ in the title of the post isn’t a whole world away from naming a nail varnish jizz…
April 15th, 2010 at 11:17 am
More of the good old trash aesthetic. I’m grateful that we are in the beginning of a decade so the shift will be coming.
Margot said “tryhard edginess. so boring” agreed
April 15th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Braindance – Oh god, I don’t know about queef either. Bit I’ll never forget the day someone explained ‘felch.’
ellio100 – Cunt of the Week™ is an expression of moral or aesthetic outrage. Calling nail polish ‘jizz’ is puerile posturing. See the difference?
April 15th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
andrea & dru – I didn’t watch sex and the city but if they ruined the word ’spunk’ I have one more reason to avoid it!
April 15th, 2010 at 12:24 pm
Ann – Hahahahahahahaha!
Make Do – Exactly.
April 15th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Ha ha! Brilliant – I’m so glad you posted about, I literally saw this on her blog and immediately came here to check in the hope you had awarded them the honour of cunt of the week!
April 15th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Hmmmm, I’m forever upset that formaldehyde is used in most nail polish which is a known carcinogenic (I won’t touch upon the dyes). I don’t care what the name is, the real danger is in the product’s toxicity and toxic waste products from the manufacturing process. Is the name stupid? Yes. Do stupid names, and toxic ingredients, and intimacy without passion degrade (on many levels) civilization? I don’t know, let’s ask the Romans (with their vomitoriams, debauchery, use of lead vessels to drink from and cap bottles, and lead in their make-up). How did they fare in the long run?
http://www.safecosmetics.org/article.php?id=224
What the fuck do I know anyway . . . I’m udderly disgusted by the selling out of the youth to a international, corporate, high tech world where young girls ooze over shoes, and squirm over jizz named nail polish.
I’m off to sit under my tree!
April 15th, 2010 at 3:16 pm
This is just pathetic and sad. It goes right along with the shirts-without-pants trend and straight girls making out with each other to get attention. How about having a little dignity, ladies?
April 15th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Well, I have read all the way through all the notes and I hadn’t ever heard of a “queef” before and am still in the dark as it were.
I didn’t want to show my ignorance and hoped somebody else would make enquiries … sadly not.
What the fuck is a “queef”?
April 15th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Yeah, it’s time for the word “come” to make a comeback.
April 15th, 2010 at 3:55 pm
No idea about queef either – but maybe I’m better off not knowing?
April 15th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
PennyDreadful – Oooh, thanks for reminding me of ‘cretins.’ I need to bring that back into rotation, that and ‘philistines!’
Andra & Cricket9 – I’m certain that we won’t be happy if we find out what it means.
WendyB – Yes, and no porn-spelling as per Mister Robert, above.
April 15th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Queef= pussy fart. Such a gross thing.
I love it.
April 15th, 2010 at 4:24 pm
TheShoeGirl – Ohhhhh, that’s a relief, I can deal with that. It sounds kind of French, like quiche. Not really a nail polish, though. One hopes.
April 15th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Just came across your blog and your random rantings are so… honest, funny and yet refreshing. The name is kinda funny but unappropriated. Jizz just sounds dirty. Maybe pearl necklace is more suitable.
April 15th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
Southpark did an episode on Quiefing. There’s nothing taboo on Southpark, or Weeds (love Weeds; the only soap I watch).
“Sometimes happens, due to pressure changes in the vagina particularly during the orgasm. //Expulsion of air after or during sexual intercourse.”
April 15th, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Miss Cavendish is right on about the Urban Decay precursor. That and Hard Candy Trailer Trash silver. I have this super yuppie-Jewish aunt who gave everyone a bottle of Trailer Trash in the late 90s because she thought it was so clever. She’s an ambulance-chasing lawyer who mostly works for people, who…you got it…live in trailers.
Ironic and trashy beauty product names are for snobs and wannabe skaters. I suggest Bleached Brain and Corporate Greed to OPI for more of a deep insult.
April 15th, 2010 at 7:08 pm
I don’t really care about the name of the nailpolish. It’s just a pearly white color anyway. HiwearesoldineverydrugstoreinAmericaalready.
But I agree about the “slavishly mention at every opportunity” comment. It is rather obvious and sad that this girl clearly worships her “friend.” I don’t know about Roomy, but I would rather my friends be my equal… not my fan girl. But she seems like the type that would like that.
April 15th, 2010 at 10:09 pm
Stupid cunts.
April 15th, 2010 at 10:19 pm
They should grow up.
April 15th, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Queef=pussy fart
I now have more ammo to terrorize my friends with
Sister wolf, I also died a little inside when felching was explained to me, the imagery is too disturbing.
April 16th, 2010 at 12:01 am
Don’t take this the wrong way Miss Wolf, but I adore you. Don’t ever stop posting.
April 16th, 2010 at 4:02 am
Jizz is such a heinous word, always hated it. Got no problem with semen, hate jizz.
April 16th, 2010 at 4:18 am
Oh, now I know what queef is – one is learning every day. I find it quite innocuous. I’m thinking that we don’t even have words in Polish for queef or felching…
April 16th, 2010 at 4:40 am
what does felch mean?
April 16th, 2010 at 5:20 am
The only time to use the word ‘jizz’ is while playing Scrabble. Major points.
April 16th, 2010 at 6:44 am
Ha ha – Roomy has jizz on her nails. Dirty bitch.
April 16th, 2010 at 8:32 am
Personally, I think the name ‘Jizz’ is very classy and sophisticated, however if it was up to me, I would have gone with a radder, more edgy name like ‘Man Yogurt’. Maybe you guys just aren’t getting it? -It’s like, hella empowering take the seed of creation -Jizz (Man Yogurt), and apply it as nail polish. I think it’s a profound statement to the dominant male power structure that no linger will your Jizz/ Man Yogurt keep women in the kitchen, barefoot an pregnant, subservient to a man’s desires. It’s 2010 ladies, and we (I.E. you no homo) don’t have to apologize to anyone for giving out BJs like handshakes and Anal like a pat on the back. I think anyone who says differently is not a feminist and is just being a hater! I support Kristen and Roomy and all their Jizz products; -yo GO Guuuuuuurllss!!!
April 16th, 2010 at 8:35 am
ha ha! smegma! that’s the best!
i totally hear ya tho!
April 16th, 2010 at 9:12 am
they are making money and you are not. end of story.
April 16th, 2010 at 2:00 pm
How do you know, Anonymous, that we are not? I actually am – just not by selling cosmetic products with stupid names. By the way, I’m sure crack dealers make money too – so?
April 16th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
They’re not “edgy,” they’re just tryhard. Most women these days are whores with no decency.
April 16th, 2010 at 6:49 pm
A dried rust red/brown called “Used Tampon”. That I want to see.
April 16th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
Baby traffickers make money too. Making money off of a website… some people do it with innovative ideas which help more than themselves. It must be our bad, for having a problem with vapid narcissism and general obnoxiousness.
April 17th, 2010 at 3:24 am
I dont even know what to say
I feel nothing towards this, well possibly a little boredom
Maybe I’ll cum in a bottle, fill the rest with tabacco and vomit and call it Filthywhore
I love you sisterwolf
I dont know if you’ll be into this
but can you take a look at galadarling.com
because seriously, I think I’m the only one that can see how fucking upsetting she is
April 17th, 2010 at 3:46 am
I buy lots of Nailpolish.
I wouldn’t buy this one. It’s an ugly colour and the name is fairly silly too.
April 17th, 2010 at 6:56 am
sister wolf….
how are you going to be upset about “JIZ” if you are giving out the “CUNT-of the week” award?! That’s just non-sense.
April 17th, 2010 at 7:30 am
Ever look at the names of the colors at the nail place? nauty n nice, marshmallow, ballet slippers…. Jizz.
Hahahhahah. Im sure those girls are doushy though, since you say so.
April 18th, 2010 at 4:41 am
I had little regard for the word Jizz until this – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOXYZzGeOiA
Now I can’t help but sing it, all day long.
They should name their next nail polish ’shitty panies.’
April 18th, 2010 at 8:49 pm
I think the use of the word jizz is supposed to distract you from realizing that it’s just pearl/white nail polish.
April 19th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
I’m all for a good shot in the face every now and again (watch the hair) but what your argument makes me think of is this “faux-sexuality” I see on many blogs. Until these girls start blogging about their adventures in anal sex, I’m not going to believe a word!
November 2nd, 2010 at 11:06 pm
Glee just got replaced in my heart by madmen..
November 2nd, 2010 at 11:56 pm
wooooooooo, in my 200's. one step closer to you madmen in your 1000's ): LOLLL
February 7th, 2011 at 8:56 am
Wow, even though they produced the superb choice to make use of a classical orchestra inside the show, what an insulting selection of music; it’s a poor film score to? a story with no plot! I’m nonplussed by the whole thing, clothes, makeup and all; simply not as chic as it need to be.
April 21st, 2011 at 5:48 pm
I realize they are making money by pushing consumer goods on others. It’s sad. You state that their use of the word “jizz” is a reminder of how vocabulary that is usually exclusive to porn has entered our vernacular. Yet you are the one distributing “Cunt of the Week” awards…