Not Better Than a Poke in the Eye

Am I the only female on earth who doesn’t care about Sex and the City?

I don’t care about the new movie any more than I cared about the other movie, which I didn’t see. Who gives a shit about these awful women? Oh right, everyone. I tried to watch the TV series a couple of times but all it did was create arguments with my husband. I would start whining. “Oh god, eeoow, she’s so ugly!’ or “Jesus, how pretentious!” and he would reflexively defend SJP and the dialogue, both of which I found excruciating.

So, can I assume the popularity of this franchise is something to do with female friendship? Does it remind us how nice it is to have a group of girlfriends who aren’t afraid to say ‘clitoris’? Or is it just a fantasy about having lots of clothes?

Is it a comforting fable about how you can be super ugly but still considered attractive a la SJP? If I was ever going to respect SJP, I would have to reconsider after she denied having that mole removed.   She can deny that her husband’s gay if she must, but denying the mole is like insisting that we’re all blind or brain-damaged.

All I know is this: I have zero interest in seeing this movie. I hate all four actresses. I am mystified by the whole phenomenon and it took years for me to decipher the acronym SATC.

(In fact, I just learned what FLOTUS and POTUS mean!)

The only movie I want to see less than Sex and the City 2 is Killers, a romantic comedy starring Ashton “I can’t shut up!” Kutcher. If I had to choose between them, I’d just kill myself.

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64 Responses to “Not Better Than a Poke in the Eye”

  1. Sister Wolf Says:

    Felicia – You’d still fuck John Edwards?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

  2. Alicia Says:

    I started watching it with three of my other friends in high school. As high school girls do, we gawked over the clothes, the endless stream of men, and how crass Samantha was, we ate popcorn, and celebrated that we were watching a show on HBO instead of network TV.

    When they dubbed me Miranda (she’s the redhead), I kinda stopped wanting to watch it. I don’t think I’m very Miranda at all…then again, the other choices were the old whorish one, the prudish one, and Carrie. Ehhhhhhhhh.

    Your post reminded me of a clip from The Cleveland Show:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdRqVoJw9fY&feature=related

    There’s another from Family Guy, but I can’t find it.

  3. Make Do Style Says:

    Oh I loved the tv series, and from a writing/costume and 4 roles for females point of view I still do. The film was dreadful from a writing/editing/narrative/costume angle but going to the cinema/movie theatre full of women was fab and made me wish we were watching a 1930s Joan Collins movie.

  4. HelOnWheels Says:

    @Artful M – Elizabeth Bear has a blog that I read every day. It’s on Livejournal – http://matociquala.livejournal.com/ . It’s a good read.

  5. felicia Says:

    well, I wouldn’t vote for him. and I’d use protection…

  6. fashion herald Says:

    I loved the beginning of the series also, it was better written than the later seasons. And I was oddly surprised that I liked the movie. It was hugely flawed, but I couldn’t get over the scene with SJP in no makeup! But it’s pure urban fantasy, I wouldn’t take it seriously for a second, clothing, Manolos, that guy from the Alaska show and all.

  7. Audi Says:

    If there was a chance that all 4 of them die at the end of the movie, I might go out and see SATC 2.

  8. Nephew Wolf Says:

    None, and I mean none, of the females in any of my immediate social circles give a flying fuck about Sex and the City, except to the extent that they are contemptuous of it. I think it’s a certain kind of woman that responds to this shit. And if I knew exactly *what* kind of woman that is, this comment would be more articulate.

  9. Mary Says:

    I must be one of those ‘certain kind’ of women.

  10. Aja Says:

    I agree with many of the thoughts on this thread. My sisters and I watched the series premiere together on a whim and deemed it “our new favourite show”. Forgive me, I was young and foolish (and in high school at the time, therefore it all looked so glam in comparison to my suburban life). Though I enjoyed the series through the years, the hipster in me shouted “ABSOLUTELY NOT” once stupid people started referring to themselves as “Carrie” and talking about the show’s characters as if they were people they knew in real life. I took a class titled “women in the media” and it made me sad because half the girls just wanted to discuss Sex In The City. No matter what we were discussing, someone would bring the conversation back to Carrie and I would hang my head in absolutely shame.

    And good god, how hard do I dislike Jennifer Hudson for playing that stupid role in the first movie. She was so terribly predictable, it made me want to throw my popcorn at the screen and leave. Let’s just accept every degrading, silly role that comes our way, why don’t we?

    But having finished my tirade, I could see myself going to see the second one. Strictly for the outfits and the stupid story line. We all need a bit of fluff in our lives, don’t we?

  11. mimi Says:

    i love that it is cool to hate the series now.

    i started watching when i was seventeen – in no way could relate, but it was entertaining and the clothes were pretty. was that enough to get me hooked? yes, im not precious about my tv viewing. if i find it entertaining, i’ll watch it. is it realistic? no, but sorry i watch reality for fantasy/escapism/fun.

    i loved the tv episodes, still do, i’ll happily go back and watch them. but i never liked carrie. her life was such a mess. i hate hate hate (emphasise HATE) the movie, because even though i loved the fashion side of it, that’s all the movie was about. look at my handbags! look at my shoes! look at my wedding dress. it was too materialistic, even for a girly girl like me. i fear the second movie will be even worse.

  12. Nephew Wolf Says:

    Anyway, in my haste to comment, I forgot to tell you what moved me to comment in the first place: Americana at Brand (for those of you outside of Southern California, it’s a particularly dumb mall in Glendale) is having a special Sex And The City event on May 27 from 6 to 10 PM, during which time if one is A Certain Kind Of Woman, one can get together with one’s “girlfriends” and watch the film and dance to 80s music (interesting demographic detail, that) and get drunk on the semi-cheap and talk about “dating” or whatever the fuck Certain Kinds Of Women talk about while drunk.

    And if, like Sister Wolf and apparently every woman I know, you are mystified by the phenomenon of this TV series and movie franchise, you can either avoid Americana at Brand more assiduously than usual on May 27, or make a point of going there to observe it close up.

  13. Psyrix Says:

    How can these stupid cunts be so popular. My god they are all butt ugly and if I got really drunk and picked any one of them up I would still drive 40 miles out of my way just to drop off the ugly bitch in the worst part of the city and forget it ever happened. Shit stuff like this just pisses me off to no end.

  14. atlanta homes Says:

    I enjoyed reading & I must say that I was very impressed with your writing skills. Keep up the good work it’s very refreshing to see someone like you :)

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