You Can Kiss My Fucking Ass!
Any stupid lunatic out there who thinks they can mess me up, knock yourself out. I will say whatever I want about whoever I want. I am exactly who I say I am. I have nothing to hide. I don’t ask for special courtesy because of my loss. But if you go out of your way to fuck with me, I will express my annoyance.
The rest of you, I couldn’t love you more. xo
June 16th, 2010 at 12:57 am
Yay Sister. Say what you want to say and fuck anyone who doesn’t agree. The world is a much better place when we all know where we stand. I started to follow your blog a few months ago. This is my first comment. I too have been deeply saddened for you and your family about Max. You are in my thoughts.
d
June 16th, 2010 at 12:58 am
PS – I really miss CUNT of the week.
June 16th, 2010 at 12:59 am
Kisses xx
June 16th, 2010 at 1:00 am
PS I know you didn’t or don’t ask for special courtesy but decent people know it is the right thing to do.
June 16th, 2010 at 1:06 am
Quite right! Bloody bastards giving you a hard time. Still vibing you love and strength. xx
June 16th, 2010 at 1:29 am
Hear hear!! Is it really worth your time to care?!
Been a follower of your blog for a VERY long time and I am sending you the most sincerest hugs from half way across the world.
My dear lady, screw it! Hypocrites are everywhere!!
Keep it up, it’s comforting to see someone who has a keen on fashion also gives a SHIT about things such as the Deepwater Horizon spill
Love Hugs and Lots of Kisses.
A
P.S. That’s some long Plait there. I want one!!
June 16th, 2010 at 1:30 am
You go Sister. And thanks for taking the time to comment on my post.
June 16th, 2010 at 2:49 am
Very disheartening to see the time and manner in which a small group have chosen to express themselves. Douchebaggery and lack of class at its finest. Lots I could say, but in short, fuck them.
Here for you always. Much love your way, as ever. xxoo
June 16th, 2010 at 3:20 am
I was fucking dumbstruck by the fuckwittery of those cunts. Have just recovered powers of speech. Love and light your way, as ever; and may the pox plague the haters ’til they can neither eat nor sleep. XOXOX
June 16th, 2010 at 3:34 am
<3
June 16th, 2010 at 4:06 am
i just read the comments– morons.
I nominate Make Do for Avenger of the Week!
June 16th, 2010 at 4:10 am
We can all be hypocrites from time to time, as we are human. We all have a range of feelings and emotions. Darkness needs to be expressed just as much as light, and we should be able to say what ever we want, as our opinions are just that. The beauty of this blog is, that one can express themselves freely on things that at times seem egregious and or ridiculous, and a lot does. That is what sister elucidates.
This blog is for anyone to read and comment on, and most of the people who do, are thoughtful and intelligent. I like when different opinions emerge, and a conversation can take place, but timing is everything.
The two women who expressed their contempt in the last post, could have chosen any other time to say how they feel. Their opinions are no more right or wrong about any of the topics that are often presented here, but they hit below the belt, and that was not necessary.
Most of the people who follow this blog, love Sister, and know the she has great depth and is brilliant.
Have your opinions, but it would be nice, if you at least think a little more deeply, before reproaching someone, especially when her heart is broken.
June 16th, 2010 at 4:33 am
Woot woot, girl power! You turn your personal tragedy into a reason to be a cunt! I hope when I’m 800 years old I can be as well adjusted as you are!
June 16th, 2010 at 4:37 am
OOOh Mutterhals is riled!!
What a strange person you are, mutterhals.
June 16th, 2010 at 4:41 am
nah, Mutterhals, you have the market cornered on turning SW’s personal tragedy into a reason to be cunt.
Don’t let them take that from you.
June 16th, 2010 at 4:42 am
sisterwolf, i’m so sorry to hear about max. i don’t know what to say, but i feel compelled to say something. be strong – or weak – or whatever you need to be right now.
xRDR
June 16th, 2010 at 4:47 am
mutterhals do us a favour and fuck off out of it. Why dont you start a blog up – maybe we can then all comment on your life.
June 16th, 2010 at 5:01 am
Hope you’re ok Sister. Don’t worry about the idiotic comments, they have no clue how wrong they are.
I love visiting your blog, and like many here, it’s the first one i visit.I have a standing joke with friends about the lesbian stick, as I promptly e-mailed them the story when you posted it. One of the best stories I have ever read.
As always, sending love your way.
June 16th, 2010 at 5:02 am
Mutterhals makes me sad. There are plenty of people that I don’t like, but I don’t hang around their blog trying to scoop their readers who want nothing to do with me. It’s just sad, that all.
June 16th, 2010 at 5:09 am
love you and your blog SW. i am so sorry for your loss. thinking of you. xxx
June 16th, 2010 at 5:26 am
Not only can they kiss your fucking ass, they can all go to hell. Be off with you, motherfuckers!
June 16th, 2010 at 5:46 am
Make Do for Avenger of the Week is definitely a do. Mutterhals going back to preschool, learning some manners, finding something constructive to do with their time, getting a proper name….all dos.
I am sorry for polluting this page more.
June 16th, 2010 at 5:54 am
Mutterhals, may the pain Sister Wolf is experiencing now be one day visited upon you fifty-fold, and may everyone who sees it laugh in your face. Oh, and by the way, please don’t pretend you’re not fucking gleeful about her son’s death, which just further confirms that you are the possibly the biggest fucking cunt who has ever lived.
June 16th, 2010 at 6:55 am
*points at mutterballs and laughs*
Look at the smelly little troll trying to get attention. If it weren’t so covered in shit I’d think its desperation was kind of cute. Pathetic but cute, in that 2-year-old kind of way.
June 16th, 2010 at 6:56 am
Not surprising that fools take this opportunity to spread their bile and jealous misery upon a grieving mother, instead of rising to the occasion, acting with class, and shutting the fuck up. Typical.
June 16th, 2010 at 7:46 am
SW I love you! You are truly a remarkable woman! I bow to your commitment of not censoring yourself or your site’s posts. That takes fucking guts. Cutting off comments is a coward’s choice. Hitting below the belt is what frightened. insecure dullards do.
As for mutterhals, if you lived to be 8000 years old you would not come close to being half, erm 1/4 . . .erm 1/8 . . . okay 1/100 of the person SW is. And I would still question the 1/100. I think I would have to use parts per billion.
June 16th, 2010 at 7:55 am
^I’m with Lindsey. I’m also all in favour of pretending that our favourite long-term troll up there doesn’t exist- by continuing to get riled at it, we’re just feeding the creature. It thrives on attention, see.
June 16th, 2010 at 8:08 am
Gollum springs to mind ref above troll. Best to ignore it from now on, it is obviously something that feeds off swill or manure.
June 16th, 2010 at 8:08 am
Can comments from mutterhals be blocked? He’s just doing this for attention and I find him tiresome.
June 16th, 2010 at 8:23 am
Honestly, I wasn’t even defending SW as much as I was derailing the puppies and rainbows train of thought of people like Debra. Deep as a birdbath with half the usefulness. If they cannot understand the difference between Sea’s self-imposed celebrity and flaunted vulgarity and SW’s kid, well, I don’t know how they get by in our world.
June 16th, 2010 at 8:43 am
This is getting pretty ugly.
June 16th, 2010 at 8:48 am
you know what? those fucking cunts make me yearn for the wholesome days of crazy muffin lady. the good old days when life was simple, and pastries were copyrighted.
FUCK ‘EM.
June 16th, 2010 at 9:22 am
Then, shall we just NOT give them the attention they need? Weeds,parasites and gnomes are capable of learning and if we hit them in what hurts the most, they will learn their lesson.
Since their stupidity is obvious, they will suffer long and painful.
So, are gonna bitch or we gonna cunt? Sister can censor them, but she shouldn’t , and any digital aid might spoil the pleasure to personally hurt them. We can do it ourselves, if we agree.
I just want them to leave.
June 16th, 2010 at 9:22 am
I just wind ‘em up and watch ‘em go. Dance monkeys, dance!
June 16th, 2010 at 9:34 am
Does anybody know a good joke?
Please, share!
June 16th, 2010 at 9:55 am
If you’re American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out of the bathroom what are you when you’re in the bathroom?
European.
_____________________________________________________________
Why do women have more hemorrhoids than men?
Because God made man a perfect asshole.
Dust: not good, but they are jokes!
June 16th, 2010 at 9:59 am
I slept like a log last night, woke up in the fireplace!
June 16th, 2010 at 10:04 am
^^^^ ha ha ha ha @ Make Do Style. Highlight of my day.
June 16th, 2010 at 10:11 am
I don’t know if any of you took the time to google ‘Mutterhals’ but I did and this is what came up:
[SW here. I have been removing this url because I will not let these comments be used for sending traffic to this particular troll]
Mutterhals, is this you?
June 16th, 2010 at 10:12 am
Well, Miss Janey is fucking shocked and appalled at peoples’ insensitivity. And most of all very sorry for Sister Wolf’s unimaginable loss. Many loving thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
June 16th, 2010 at 10:12 am
If the above is not Mutterhals, at least the blog owner will find that they have an extra amount of hits today. Just paying it forward, ya know…
June 16th, 2010 at 10:16 am
More!
June 16th, 2010 at 10:23 am
Sister oh sister, all love from here. ‘Love is the heart of everything’. x
June 16th, 2010 at 10:25 am
i love you too, sister. XX
June 16th, 2010 at 10:29 am
mutterhals, stfu.
June 16th, 2010 at 10:40 am
A skeleton walks into a bar and says “Gimme a beer and a mop.”
Guy tells his boss his next trip is to Green Bay & he hates it ’cause there’s nothing there but football players and whores. Boss says, oh yeah? My wife is from Green Bay. Guy says, really? What position does she play?
Doctor tells patient he’ll need a brain transplant. Says female brain is $5,000 and male brain is $50,000. Patient says why is the female brain so much cheaper? Doc says, ’cause it’s been used.
June 16th, 2010 at 10:41 am
Dust: what is the difference between a brown nose and a shithead?
Depth perception.
June 16th, 2010 at 10:44 am
Man to God about the creation of Woman: But why did you have to make her so beautiful?
God: So you would like her.
Man: But why did you have to make her skin so soft?
God: So you would like her.
Man: But why did you have to make her so dumb?
God: So she would like you.
June 16th, 2010 at 10:49 am
Urban Dictionary definition of mutterhals:
German translation meaning “mother throat” or cervix (which is Latin for neck); pen name of the most hated writer on the internet
“Damn, that dude was all up in my mutterhals. Let’s hope I don’t get pregnant!”
yeah, that’s about accurate!
June 16th, 2010 at 10:53 am
Let us not mention this creature again! His/her time is up.
A priest and a rabbi standing on a street corner, chatting. Priest says “Ooh, let’s screw that little boy over there!” Rabbi says, “Out of what?”
June 16th, 2010 at 10:54 am
Ann Coulter walks into a bar. Bartender says “Why the long face?”
June 16th, 2010 at 11:02 am
Did you hear about the Polish person who thought asphalt was rectum problems?
What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men? Their knees!
June 16th, 2010 at 11:03 am
Should be rectum trouble!
June 16th, 2010 at 11:04 am
OMG! That should be their ankles!
No more booze for me.
June 16th, 2010 at 11:17 am
Ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, ha, ha, haaaaaaaaaaa, haaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheer: I’m blond, I’m blond, I’m B-L-O……?…I’m blond, I’m blond!
You are great people! Love!
June 16th, 2010 at 11:17 am
Not a joke but something better.
Before: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1117/778226808_3dd245109b.jpg
After: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAAj1OiH-WA
Video footage of the 62 foot graven image of “Touchdown Jesus” engulfed in flames. Mother Nature’s way of saying stop believing in bullshit (and constructing lightning rods out of metal rods, fiberglass and styofoam). This is about fifteen minutes from my place and made headlines on NPR and the Guardian. Bonus that it’s also House Minority Leader John Boehner’s family church where the pastor was once arrested for cocaine distribution. It’s amused me for the past two days.
June 16th, 2010 at 11:21 am
Ashley, Mutterhals obviously wrote that Urban Dictionary entry herself. She’s only able to contribute through provocation, or so she hopes. Aside from this final warning not to feed the trolls (although I believe certain other people are just soft in the head, not deliberately quarrelsome), don’t give them the satisfaction.
June 16th, 2010 at 11:25 am
Eliza, that joke was funny too!
June 16th, 2010 at 11:31 am
What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican?
Oil of Olay
Dust: I am half Mexican!
No disrespect to anyone with this jokes. All in fun no harm intended!
June 16th, 2010 at 11:49 am
Touchdown Jesus hit by lightening = God trying to tell you to stop committing idolatry.
What??!!! The exact same thing happened in the golden calf incident way back when.
For Dust:
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
The other replied, “Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.”
June 16th, 2010 at 11:52 am
Crap, the one time I can’t think of a good joke! But you guys got me laughing! And I’m with everyone else on ignoring the ignorant troll.
Sister Wolf, your strength astounds me. You’re a better woman than I could ever hope to be.
XXX
Suzanne
June 16th, 2010 at 12:06 pm
Q: What did one banana say to the other?
A: Nothing, you twat. Bananas can’t talk.
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
A: Bob.
June 16th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
To still have a sense of humor and visual justice and to have enough spirit to be wicked in a time of needless loss–that’s pretty well-adjusted indeed.
Love you Sister Wolf. Your blog has meant a lot to me. Your words have profoundly influenced my idea of what it will be like to be a mother, how to deal with a difficult mother like you did, and what it means to be a woman. You did your very best for Max. Love and healing to you and your family. May he rest in peace.
June 16th, 2010 at 12:22 pm
It is saddest when trolls trick themselves into thinking they are some sort of “puppet master” figure simply because people respond to them. In truth, it’s really just fun to yell at stupid people. Anyway…here’s my lame joke:
How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.
June 16th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
How do you make Lady Gaga angry?
Poke her face.
What do you call a deer with no eye?
No idea.
What do you call a deer with no eye and no leg?
Still no idea.
June 16th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
What d’you call a man sitting in a pile of leaves?
RUSSELL!
June 16th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Paddy and Mick go on a roller-coaster. Mick says “if we turn upside down do you think we’ll fall out?” Paddy says “of course not, we’ve been mates for years”
June 16th, 2010 at 12:49 pm
A true life story,
my friend was quietly complaining that she’s been constipated for a whole week, I answered loudly in shock : no shit!
Couple of years later, when free-minded Danish teacher complained about her week long constipation while sitting in her brand new Balenciaga, my reaction was much more sophisticated : you are telling us that you are full of shit right now? In Balenciaga? How stylish!
One thing is clear to me now, why I love Sister Wolf so much. Because she brings out the best in me. It’s very selfish, but one must gain to be able to give back.
June 16th, 2010 at 12:55 pm
Remember the one about how I once stayed in a hotel the same time as Sea and Mom and they stared at me blankly at first (practically “how can an ethnic person of non-asian descent afford this place?”) and then stood momentarily gazing mouths agape with the plundering lust of ethnocentric furtrappers in the lobby cause I was wearing a Jewish cultural costume that might just be tacky enough for them? And how they had *LITERALLY* one of those bell hop guys with a stack of over four shoe boxes trailing in their wake as they smiled blandly and emitted the stench of Viking pillage?
Good times.
June 16th, 2010 at 12:57 pm
What do you call a man with no arms, no legs and half a torso?
Dick.
What do you call a man with no arms, no legs hanging on the wall?
Art
What do you call a woman with no arms, no legs washed up on the beach?
Sandy
(thanks for the jokes and laughs everyone)
June 16th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Viva sister wolf!
June 16th, 2010 at 1:07 pm
I’m sure some of the following has been said by others, but I read the comment thread on ‘In My Hour of Darkness’ (and this one) and feel the need to point out several things:
1. Calling you “not at all witty” (among other things) shows that the speaker has neither a sense of humor nor any intelligence whatsoever.
2. Free speech–it’s a great idea and all the smart kids do it on a regular basis. Sea is a public figure. Carry on saying what needs to be said.
3. I’m still lighting candles and sending good thoughts (oh hell, I’ll admit it, praying) for you and Simone and everyone else.
4. I’m not that other Kelly (you knew that).
June 16th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
This empties my joke vault:
Roofer hammering on shingles screams AAARRRGGGH! Fellow roofer says what happened, didja hit your fucking finger? 1st roofer says, no, the one next to it.
Psychiatrist says to keptomaniac patient, well I think you’re cured now, but should you have a relapse, pick me up a Mixmaster.
June 16th, 2010 at 1:22 pm
What do you call a man in a swimming pool with no legs and no arms ?
Bob
June 16th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Aah, the video was removed after a copyright claim. Here’s 11 seconds of Jesus dying for your schadenfreude: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUZ3d1tTbWg
June 16th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
My favourite ice cream is any I can get my hands on when mummy allows me. I like jelly too. My mummy told me you have the softest, most gentle voice she’s ever heard.
June 16th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Fuckin a.
Rage on all you need to.
June 16th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
haha I came in on the best part of the comments. SW please get better with time. I missing your rants but I also know it takes time to heal. I hope some of these jokes and comments are bringing you some form of entertainment and joy.
June 16th, 2010 at 2:34 pm
1st guy says “this cookie tastes like pussy”
2nd guys takes a lick and says “no, it tastes like asshole”
1st guys says “you gotta turn it over and lick”
June 16th, 2010 at 3:07 pm
Carole, I’m Polish and should kick you in the asphalt for the Polish joke, but for some reason I feel good-natured today, so here is another one: a Polish pilot approaches an airport to land, and says to the second pilot: “Look what they did here, this runaway is so damn short!” The second pilot says: “Yes, but look how wide!”
Eliza, I couldn’t stop laughing at “Jesus struck by lighting” headline this morning. Satan’s work, no doubt!
The persistent troll person can’t be “the most hated writer”- it would mean that someone actually bothers to read her/his /it’s blog…
June 16th, 2010 at 4:07 pm
Too bad lightning missed the other touch down Jesus located at Notre Dame Indiana. I’d pay money for that show.
Sister, spill your tears, vent your grief in whatever way you need. Those who have never lost cannot understand. Ignor the heartless bastards who cannot fathom your pain. They are on a bus to a place only they deserve.
Candles lit for your son to light his journey to peace. Much love to you and your family.
June 16th, 2010 at 4:43 pm
I love you Joanne.
June 16th, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Whats white and fluffy and swings around a cake shop?
A meringue-a-tang
June 16th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
J: Thinking of you – and obvs. I have to go back a couple of posts and see what’s up. xo
June 16th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Hi! I never comment but I have read through all your archives and you are hilarious. It’s fun to read your posts and also all the comments. I’ve never commented before but I found your site through Kingdom of Style and I like it very much.
It’s really sad that some people think this is a good time to tell you What They Really Think of You. Stupid assholes. I think …whatever, they’re entitled to have no humor and their own opinion… but they really picked a bad time to let you know! Good to know they aren’t getting you down, though. Keep staying strong. Hope these people who are giving you a hard time fuck off and leave you alone soon!
Best Wishes,
Carey
June 16th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Well, bein’ from Arkansas, my joke list is limited, regardless:
1. You Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
2. You Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if……
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000,
whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to
catch’em.
3. You Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if……
When the pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the
offering” and five guys and two women stand up.
4. You Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if……
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
5. You Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if……
A member of the church requests to be buried in his
4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get
out of.”
6. You Know You’re in a Redneck Church if ……
The choir is known as the “OK Chorale.”
7. You ! Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if……
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only
seven last names in the church directory.
8. You Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if…….
People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too
heavy.
9. You Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if……
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized ” Wheeling” washtub.
10. You Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if………
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo
from) Roy Bob’s Barbecue.
11. You Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if……..
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duckcall.
12. You Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if …….
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
13. You Know You’re in a Hillbilly Church if …….
The communion wine is Boone’s Farm “Tickled Pink.”
And you know you’re in Arkansas if the baggage handlers at the airport find:
http://www.fox16.com/news/local/story/Human-heads-found-in-packaging-at-Little-Rock/KMmRcivpkUStQAO1VbwzGA.cspx
June 16th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
I’ve been reading your blog after finding a link from another fashion blog – so I started at the end of the archives and read my way to the present.
And then I get to the present, and find out that you have suffered a terrible loss, and I just want to say I’m so very sorry.
If the good thoughts of a total stranger mean anything in this hard world, please know I’m thinking of you. The Quakers have the phrase “holding someone in the light” – this cranky old atheist is holding you and your son in the light.
June 16th, 2010 at 8:49 pm
Reading this entry and comments while eating a late dinner tonight leads me to my favorite lame joke……. What do you call a bunch of cows masturbating????? Beef stroking off.
Some good ones above… Bevitron, I esp. had a good chuckle at your “fucking finger” one!
June 16th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Hey, there are a lot of questions in these comments– that’s my job!!
June 17th, 2010 at 12:46 am
For this reason you have the best blog out there. No need for tantalizing fashion imagery, or outfit posts, or whatever else we fashion bloggers do. Just you and your honesty is enough. You are raw and magnetic, and there is clearly a shitload of people willing to read and respond to every single word you write (this is a GIFT). Someone better give you that fucking book deal soon, ’cause I’m getting impatient.
Thinking of you xo
June 17th, 2010 at 2:15 am
A man is worried his wife is losing her hearing, so he asks his doctor what he should do. “She’s so sensitive, I’m afraid to bring it up, but I think she’s going deaf, what should I do?”
The doctor says “Well here’s a little test, wait until her back is turned and stand 10 feet behind her and ask her what’s for dinner, see if she answers, if not try 5 feet behind her, and if she still doesn’t answer, get right behind her and ask her…”
So he tries it. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” At 10 feet, he hears no reply. He moves up to 5 feet and says “Honey, what’s for dinner?” and he hears nothing from his wife. Finally, he gets right behind her and says “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
His wife says, “For the third time, chicken!”
June 17th, 2010 at 3:47 am
I just started reading your blog and I’m so happy to have found something to read which is friggin’ entertaining.
I kept feeling like I should like Sea’s style until I read your comments and realized that I shouldn’t feel like I should respect her style – I should be able to hate it.
Thanks for giving me that.
(And I’m sure you’ve gotten many condolences and I can’t imagine what you’re going through – but…I’m so sorry,)
June 17th, 2010 at 5:08 am
So this crazy guy decided to escape from the asylum in the dead of night. He planned it carefully, and finally one night he managed it, armed with just a flashlight and the clothes on his back. Unfortunately, another inmate caught him, and said he would call the nurses unless the first guy took him along. So he agreed.
Well, the only way out was through a window, so they climbed through it and up onto the roof. Most of the buildings in the city were pretty close together, so the first guy (who was brave, even though he was crazy), just jumped on across. But the second guy was a coward, and he had short legs, and was too afraid to jump: he just knew he would fall. The first guy tried to persuade him it would be fine, but he just wouldn’t move.
Finally, the first guy gave in.
“Okay, okay,” he said. “How about this? I’ll turn the flashlight on and point it at your roof, and you can walk across the beam to my roof.”
The second guy pondered this for a minute, and then looked suspiciously at his companion.
“No way,” he said. “I’d have to be crazy to do that. As soon as I was halfway across, you’d turn it off!”
June 17th, 2010 at 3:52 pm
And we love you too.
June 18th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Beef striking off!!
Hahahahaha
June 18th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Fuck this phone! Stroking not striking…dammit.
June 18th, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Still thinking of you and sending as much light and love as ever.
One of these days we gotta get you a gig in London so Kate and I can take you out to lunch and smother you wtb love and prosecco. There MUST be a way xx
June 18th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
You have such a big lovely commenter family. And some parts of the family as vile as the Uncle who used to like to hug me extra long until I learned to predict when he was coming over and never, ever go home til he left.
Love the jokes. That fucking finger one is going to get retold, I already know that.
On my blog I posted a note from the fucking dogbite people I took to court. Somehow they have convinced themselves that not only do I not deserve to recover the vet bills from them, but that the bite never happened and that I am running a scam to make $208 at a time by allowing dogs to bite Goldie, faking up some vet bills and photos, taking a day off work and going to court. It is that same kind of elaborate self-delusion that allows your trolls to berate a grieving mother and somehow still feel good about their actions. Fuck all those self-deluded crapmonkeys.
June 29th, 2010 at 6:58 am
why did the scarecrow win a nobel prize?
he was out standing in his field.
x x x
September 30th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
So there’s this guy who has a tan all over his body except his dick and balls. He decides to go to the beach and cover his entire body in sand except of course his jewels. Shortly after 2 older ladies walk by and one says to the other, “Godammit! Now that they’re growing out of the ground I can’t even squat!”
September 30th, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
October 5th, 2010 at 11:26 am
* google
* can
* kiss
* my
* fucking
* ass
February 14th, 2011 at 1:46 pm
I have to go back a couple of posts and see what’s up.