Because I’m Stupid
The only good thing about buying expensive shit is that you can sometimes recoup some of your wasted money on ebay.
Look at this Kate Moss ‘Groupie Coat!’ Why did I buy it from Topshop? Because I’m stupid, that’s why. I imagined myself as a 20 year old living in a cold climate, walking around like a big Yeti, looking insanely rad. Now, it’s on ebay.
Why did I buy this Marc Jacobs sequin thing? Because I’m so stupid that I must have pictured myself going somewhere and impressing people with my glam fashion sense. I haven’t worn it once, just like the Groupie Coat. A complete waste of time and money. For sale on ebay.
Ooh, what about these Paul Smith “Kings” biker boots. Wearing them would prove how moto, how tough-chic and just plain killing it I am. So what that I already had a million pairs of biker boots. Soon to be on ebay, and I’ll only get a fraction of the purchase price.
I have been out of work for nearly a year. What I’ve learned is that I am a big idiot who spent money as fast as I could, because I’d never made so much of it. Every story I wrote brought me $500, so a pair of boots equalled only one story. I forgot to worry about the future, or the people starving in Africa. My shame and my unpaid bills aren’t punishment enough for being so stupid.
However. While at ebay, I treated my self to a look at Mom’s recent purchases, and I was reassured to find that, yes, someone else is stupid, too! Join me in weighing up the stupidity.
This massive anchor pendent was $295 plus shipping. Gargantuan, isn’t it? I think size is key, for Mom. At least it isn’t a monkey or cockroach.
Now we’re talking! Pre-owned Prada open-toed boots, just $199 plus shipping. Are these for Sea or Mom? Would they wear these if they didn’t say “Prada?” I’m already feeling a little less stupid, but what do I know.
Another bold statement piece of junk jewelry for Mom, $85 plus shipping. Nice and big, even “glitzy” I would say. There are many, many more acquisitions of this nature that you can look for at Mom’s shop or perhaps adorning herself or Sea.
The thing about shopping and hoarding is that it distracts one from the void, from oneself, from the horror of the human condition but in the end it fools no one. In the end, you’re just an idiot with too much crap that no one wants, not even you.
But at least my crap is good crap.
Tags: hideous crap, hoarding, shopping
June 26th, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Those boots scream hooker Barbie.
June 26th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
I like the Groupie coat. How much do you want for it?
June 26th, 2010 at 7:32 pm
I must admit I like your stuff, I can see why you bought it. Like you said its not the stuff we are buying per se, its the story we make up to surround it. I’m always buying dark velvet art deco inspired pieces because in my mind I’m a 1930’s (impoverished) heiress, they lie unworn in my wardrobe because in reality I’m a tubby architect.
June 26th, 2010 at 7:34 pm
I’m imagining the previous owner of those Pradas and it’s not pretty. Who on earth would want such a shoe? I don’t even want to start thinking about how they smell or feel. Eeek!
June 26th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
I am taking a break right now from photographing my stuff to put on ebay, and was pleasantly surprised to read your post. We are both doing the same thing at the same time! I agree with you wholeheartedly about the void. Trouble is, it never gets filled. And things don’t make the emptiness feel any better. Because if they did, we wouldn’t keep buying shit! I also think that the fashion bloggers are “legitimizing” the buying and hoarding for some people. Otherwise there would be nothing to blog about! Now it seems like getting and spending is the new norm. And you get recognition and affirmation from the fashion powers that be- conferences, trips to Florence, Italy, front row seats at fashion week, being a guest speaker at a New York Times symposium, stints guest blogging on more established blogs, free stuff, stories in major magazines- it goes on and on. Also, I hope that things are becoming easier for you as the days go on.
June 26th, 2010 at 7:35 pm
The prosti-barbie shoes are for our Sea.
http://seaofshoes.typepad.com/sea_of_shoes/2010/06/fridays-thrift-finds.html
June 26th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
sheri – I listed it at $150, it is size US6
Jazmin -Hahaha! Ick! Thank you!
June 26th, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Great minds think alike. I’m photographing things to put on eBay today. Mostly Topshop, Urban Outfitters and APC. Everything starts at a dollar. The way I look at it, if I list it at a dollar and I’m not currently wearing it. it’s just taking up space in my closet, so nothing lost, nothing gained. Hopefully I’ll get more for it. But if not, someone gets a good deal.
June 26th, 2010 at 7:48 pm
At least you can sell your crap on ebay. I tend to only hoard things that no one else would be interested in–at least, not until I get hugely famous. It will happen.
Things like love letters from old boyfriends, or awful teen devotionals given as Christmas gifts by well-meaning friends of my parents. Old t-shirts from some event or other that nobody cares about but the twenty or so people who went, that don’t fit anymore, and that are full of holes.
The cheap pressboard computer desk I’ve had since I was like 10 years old. I could probably afford to buy a better desk, but I won’t. And nobody would pay more than $20 for it, if that.
See, if you’re a hoarder, at least it’s good to be a hoarder of interesting things that people will want to buy from you later.
But you just wait. In ten years or so, I’ll have to put all those old love letters in a safe deposit box to keep the paparazzi from filching them while I sleep.
June 26th, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Suggestion — do you have any high-end consignment shops near you? You might do better putting your designer items there rather than on ebay. Unfortunately on ebay everyone wants the best stuff but they want it for nothing. I’ve had no luck listing designer items, and much better luck putting them on consignment where I usually recoup a decent amount, even on the things I did wear the hell out of! I hope you incite a bidding frenzy and make a ton!
XXX
Suzanne
June 26th, 2010 at 8:16 pm
Amazing – I’ve been doing my ebay photographing tonight, too. Except I don’t have & never had anything fashionable, in the good or in the stupid sense, and I’m selling off anything else of value so pretty soon I’ll be sleeping on the floor. My little pathetic ebay crap is mostly only good for a laugh, if that, but strangely enough some people gravitate – a few weeks ago I sold a crappy old sweatshirt with a cat on it for almost $300. !!
That anchor pendant! Jesus! It looks like you could actually secure a yacht with that thing. Yeah, I bet those shoes do stink. That last necklace thing – from Ben Hur or Gladiator or something? wtf? Oh well, back to my pathetic crap.
June 26th, 2010 at 8:16 pm
I’ve, too, had the same revelations about my reckless spending after losing my job about three weeks ago. I bought so much *shit*, and have so little to show for it. Meanwhile, I have no savings to live off (I’ve been totally screwed by my former employer–as has the rest of the company–and haven’t even been paid wages for the last few weeks I actually worked. Won’t go into the bitter, cathartic details), and have been forced to get government assistance while I scramble for a new job. Lesson learned, in an incredibly forceful way.
Best wishes with the eBay sales
June 26th, 2010 at 8:24 pm
Your brutal honesty and your razor wit makes you kind of a hero to me. I’m no one and you don’t know a thing about me so I don’t pretend that this means a thing to you. But it means something to me to let you know.
June 26th, 2010 at 9:01 pm
Mom is a cunt… she deleted my comment where I said that her monkey belt looked like a monkey has popping out of her crotch.
June 26th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
That anchor is huge.
And damn that void that led me to believe shopping could fill it. I can’t tell you exactly how many bags I’ve taken to Goodwill because I just didn’t care enough to put them on ebay. Depressing. I’m glad to report that I’ve finally realized that retail therapy doesn’t actually cure shit.
Good luck selling. If I didn’t have dudeguy to constantly remind me, I’d probably bid on that wookie coat…in summer…in LA.
June 26th, 2010 at 10:10 pm
I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to earn enough money to make me an offer for my beige, sequined, moto-style rad Topshop jacket that you so regret returning yourself. There’s not enough money in the world to get me to sell that, so keep dreaming, lady!
June 26th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
WendyB – I would sooner wear Mom’s octopus belt. Topshop is a curse!
June 26th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
I WANT THOSE PRADA STRIPPER SHOES. Or at least, I’d want them if they weren’t Prada.
I just saw this and thought of you:
http://shop.ebay.com/i.html?_nkw=gasoline+glamour+shoes&_sacat=0&_sop=16&_odkw=gasoline+glamour&_osacat=0&bkBtn=&_trksid=p3286.m270.l1313
Never before in my life have I seen so many horrible, horrible, expensive shoes in one place. I hope this link works, but if not then ebay search “Gasoline Glamour.”
June 27th, 2010 at 1:17 am
Ugh, that reminds me, I need to do an Ebay day. I bet that groupie jacket looked fab on you…
June 27th, 2010 at 2:41 am
Atleast you do not buy “large and ill fitting” (and may I add ugly) beaded sweaters to pose for photos in….
Goddamnit, the thought of someone wasting money on something to wear once in a photograph makes me mad!
I don’t blame you for being seduced by the kate moss coat. I came close. Infact it’s bloody lucky you are selling from america or I might give in this time
June 27th, 2010 at 3:03 am
i love those pradas. in fact, i have them in black, and i still wear them quite often. if i could find them in stripper pink in my size, i’d be all over them in a second.
June 27th, 2010 at 3:15 am
“The thing about shopping and hoarding is that it distracts one from the void, from oneself, from the horror of the human condition”
Im totally agree with this…The worst thing is, even if I realise shopping is just a silly reality escape, which only last a couple of minutes in your mind (once u get the pair of shoes u dont enjoy them anymore, u start thinking on the next pair), I cant stopp it!!!!!!!!Sometimes I think I need therapy, seriously, yesterday for example, I spent 160 dollars in Topshop.com and i dont need any of those things…I wasnt so crazy about clothes before jumping into the fashion blogs, maybe its time to take a rest of them(not a rest of yours, whic is actually not just about fashion and thats why I love it). xoxo
June 27th, 2010 at 4:19 am
I haven’t been a size 6 since 8th grade, and don’t expect I ever will be again.
June 27th, 2010 at 4:39 am
Like Cheri I too have been sucked into buying ridiculous items of clothing to wear in a life I don’t have.A prime example of this was taking home a gorgeous pair of heels and being met with this comment from my SENSIBLE boyfriend.”Are those shoes for when you become a competitive salsa dancer?”Needless to say they went straight back and were exchanged for black ballet flats that have been worn to within an inch of their lives.You can always count on your partner for a reality check.
June 27th, 2010 at 4:40 am
Like Cybill I too have been sucked into buying ridiculous items of clothing to wear in a life I don’t have.A prime example of this was taking home a gorgeous pair of heels and being met with this comment from my SENSIBLE boyfriend.”Are those shoes for when you become a competitive salsa dancer?”Needless to say they went straight back and were exchanged for black ballet flats that have been worn to within an inch of their lives.You can always count on your partner for a reality check.
June 27th, 2010 at 4:47 am
Sisterwolf please excuse my doubling up of the previous comment.I realize that I’m much better at throwing money away on ludicrous footwear than submitting comments on blogs
June 27th, 2010 at 4:51 am
Okay I want the Marc Jacobs sequin thing. You shouldn’t have listed it on ebay! I’m away so can’t bid. But then again I hope you make lots of money and cover your costs.
I love Cybil’s comment. It is so true we all try to escape on many levels and I was just as stupid when I earnt buckets of money. I don’t want to think about the pointless waste on clothes and in Topshop!
June 27th, 2010 at 6:25 am
No, Wendy, Sister is saving for modular dusturbance jacket, the one that turns from vest into trench, than becomes a furcoat, also a cape. The one that is in our almost-ready web shop. Oh, and if needed, coat can get sequined sleeve attachments, just in case.
It’s time for action, cos complaining about overconsuming and reselling is not gonna solve the problem.
Or is buying just the sleeves of the jacket that is never gonna be worn instead of the whole jacket that is never gonna be worn, still the same crime?
(my shopping problem is that I fit in sample sizes, shoes, clothes, all in my damn size! luckily, I manage not to purchase other designers, but it’s a challenge)
June 27th, 2010 at 6:31 am
Dear god!!
That link of the gasoline crap.
They make JEWELS as well.
http://stores.ebay.com/CHIC-LITTLE-DEVIL_GASOLINE-GLAMOUR_W0QQ_fsubZ329159319QQ_sidZ12551429QQ_trksidZp4634Q2ec0Q2em322
I cant believe the cost of the shoes.
June 27th, 2010 at 6:38 am
Your crap is infinitely superior to Mom’s crap. Not even in the same universe. But I know what you mean about keeping the void at bay. I’m working up to posting about my Lipstick Habit.
June 27th, 2010 at 6:38 am
I think you were on the right track when you went on the hunt for those safety pin earrings a while back and get the hell outta there.
Definitely check out consignment stores instead. Ebay has been nothing but a major disappointment when selling. Between the time spent taking pictures and measurements, writing up the listing, listing fees, final sale fees, paypal fees, and packing and the post office… I now hate it and would rather just give my stuff away than bother.
June 27th, 2010 at 6:38 am
Oh the anchor! Both Mom and Sea (whichever would wear it) could stay solidly anchored to the floor and not being able to move, and that would be good. The shoes are very appropriate for a brothel Madam.
At 60, I finally (mostly) stopped making totally stupid purchases; that’s after making countless trips to Goodwill with bags of crap each time when moving house. Realizing that I’m 5′2″ and not going to grow anymore helps too.
A consignment store is a good idea, good luck with selling!
June 27th, 2010 at 7:26 am
“Wearing them would prove how moto, how tough-chic and just plain killing it I am.”
hahahaha
June 27th, 2010 at 8:59 am
OOOOO i love your crap. If i was not unemployed too i would buy it.
hahha. I am in the process of photographing and listing my crap on ebay too. Trouble is, so is the rest of the world. But if it doesn’t sell on ebay i haul it round consignment stores, and usually make back at least what i paid.
I love love love those prada shoes. Pink patent is the holy grail for me.
They have one flaw though, and because of it i could never wear them…. i HATE those horrid snipped off toes. i like a classic peep toe, but those things look like when i was a kid and we were broke and my mom cut the toes out of our winter shoes to make summer shoes. When there is a heel, the toes just kind of ooze out of the shoe like they were toothpaste.
Shopping is totally trying ot fill a void. But i do love my stuff. I worked for years running the shoe department in a vintage store. I curated my ass off. Nowadays I try to invent events that require me to wear my hoard of designer items. Formal camping anyone?
June 27th, 2010 at 9:06 am
im dog sitting for 30$ a day and making money begging calls for the college. I figure 4 hours of alumni harassment=1 tom ford lipstick.
but I don’t have to search for comfort stupidity because you collect and summarize it all so well!
I get to be lazy, sort of (but not REALLY REALLY) stupid AND killing it- all thanks to the internet!
and I also want your KING boots. but thats a different story and a hypothetical one because I got myself blocked from ebay.
I think the yeti coat might be useful if you had an open mind. it begs for petting? I like being petted.
June 27th, 2010 at 9:26 am
And Cybill? my story is lauren bacall in the big sleep. I swish round my house in fabulous vintage lingerie, imagining i am her . I am pretty sure the reality is much closer to dame edna.
June 27th, 2010 at 9:26 am
and when i say “house” I mean tiny apartment.
June 27th, 2010 at 9:40 am
Looks like Mom already has the ugly Prada shoes, in baby-poop brown!
http://atlantishome.typepad.com/my_weblog/2010/06/somewhere-in-time.html
June 27th, 2010 at 10:09 am
I would LOVE to go formal camping!
June 27th, 2010 at 10:39 am
The anchor, my God, the anchor. ???? A small bit of compulsive shopping can be a pleasant distraction. At 56 I’ve given more clothing to Goodwill than I would ever own up to, so, I zoom into Target or Gap & pick up a tee or something to lift my mood.
June 27th, 2010 at 10:44 am
yes. uh uh. did it. me too. I actually called my stuff for sale at my now-closed vintage store CRAP. as in Buy by vintage crap, please. People did, because I have a pretty good eye for neat crap you need. And formal camping = glamping. It’s true. I read about it in my husbands AAA magazine. and If Mom was selling a real big gold-plated Gooney Bird necklace/belt/breastplate I might be tempted to spend the rent money on it!
June 27th, 2010 at 11:16 am
I had a full length yeti coat like that when I was about 18.
I was taken aside one night after church by the minister, who asked me to stop wearing it. He said I was ’scaring the older members of the congregation’
xxx
June 27th, 2010 at 11:59 am
Queen Marie, Damn you, now I am tempted to keep it.
June 27th, 2010 at 1:21 pm
That “Chic Little Devil” Gasoline crap should come with a warning “harmful to your eyes and sanity – enter at your own risk”. WHO, who in the entire world buys is, and, even worse, wears it?!
June 27th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Since my eyes hurt already, I went to Atlantishome; the Pradas are even more hideous in brown, and Mom is sporting a serious mustache – what’s up with that, Judy?
June 27th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
Cricket9 – I LOVE the mustache! Very handsome. Is it a tribute to Frida Kahlo, or Gertrude Stein??
June 27th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Kings biker boots – yes please. Prada open-toed boots – no thank you.
June 27th, 2010 at 2:01 pm
Sister Wolf,
Not sure if I should have just emailed you the link instead of posting in the comment section, but I did a post inspired by yours since it was so near to my own experience.
The dichotomy of appreciating certain objects that are so beautiful and your own financial trappings are something I could write a book on!
Hope you dig it! I also linked your blog for credit.
http://firstbelovedfriend.blogspot.com/2010/06/i-hoard-sorrow-musing-on-cupidity-of.html
June 27th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
I was so so so careful with money. Through all my teenage years I worked and saved, and then paid my living expenses through college with that money.
Then I graduated and got a job, and for a variety of reasons things went downhill. I spent all my wages as fast as I earned them on stuff I just never knew I needed or wanted until I saw it.
Then I lost my job and found myself surrounded by useless crap with no money to go anywhere or do anything.
That was all pretty stupid. God damn it.
June 27th, 2010 at 3:06 pm
this article makes me barf even more than those pink shoes: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/fea/fdshops/homedesign/stories/DN-fdluxe_hometour_0603fas.State.Edition1.39994aa.html
i really enjoyed the side note about carol.
June 27th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
I think the fashion industry makes us feel like we need certain items of clothing – that they will make our lives better and us look fabulous, and then once we have them, we realise they don’t actually enhance our lives. But still, we want more, and can’t stop thinking about our next purchase.
Good luck with your sales, Sister Wolf. You have some great stuff for sale, and I’m sure that fashionistas will flock to your ebay page.
June 27th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
I think the mustache is a tribute to Beau Brummel, the famous edwardian dandy; but – someone should tell Judy that while the ’stache is fine, jacket, judging by the picture of the back, is not very well made, and jeans need to be retired – they look really stupid on someone who’s past 16.
Nati, your comment was SO NOT in the spirit of Atlantishome!
June 27th, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Cricket9: Yeah, I guess you’re right… Silly me…I should have written something like “OMG Judy!! You’re totally rocking the monkey belt! I love how it looks like is coming out of your crotch, that’s classy but wacky at the same time! Your jungle house is beautiful by the way
“
June 27th, 2010 at 7:02 pm
Muahahahaha! Yes, you got it Nati, that’s the one and ONLY way to get your comments posted on Atlantis. You should, preferably, hyperventilate when typing the comment.
June 27th, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Beth, I read the article. Un-fucking-believable – if Christopher Somebody could gush more, he’d choke. They must be all insane, and we must have our eyes peeled for the second phase – “master bedroom and kitchen”. If you have any unwanted brass objects, please send them to Mom; life-size brass animals especially welcome.
I’m afraid I’ll have really bad dreams tonight…
June 27th, 2010 at 7:21 pm
Sister Wolf – forgive me for spoiling the mood, but notice anything going on in Toronto? Just curious to know if our news makes its way past our borders at all…
June 27th, 2010 at 8:50 pm
“The thing about shopping and hoarding is that it distracts one from the void, from oneself, from the horror of the human condition but in the end it fools no one. In the end, you’re just an idiot with too much crap that no one wants, not even you.”
Agreed with your quote above SW, i keep imagining about how much i could have saved if I did not spend half of my monthly salary just to shop unimportant things and I’ve started be more frugal in the last few weeks as I planned to backpack to Australia next year..:D oohh, and yeah in the end i was just an idiot with too much crap in which i finally handed the crap out to people who needed more than me but i feel free now, more spaces in my room, easy to clean up
saving is really a hard work at first
June 27th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
Sonja, I’ve seen pictures of police cruisers on fire and reports that 600 have been arrested in the protests. How widespread is the madness?
June 27th, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Sonja, I haven’t had a TV or radio on, and I canceled my newspaper.I had no idea…are you in or near Toronto??
June 27th, 2010 at 11:40 pm
I have to say that you inspire me to buy less shit. So thank you for that. I mean…. I still love buying shit that I shouldn’t, obviously, but you make me feel like I should think about them for maybe like a minute longer.
At least I have my job as an excuse for buying shoes, right?? Right???
xoxo from China.
June 28th, 2010 at 3:35 am
The madness is contained to downtown Toronto; I feel so bad for the city I love.
June 28th, 2010 at 5:28 am
I live in Ottawa, my son lives in downtown Toronto – it was unbelievable. Thousands and thousands of riot police swept more than 800 people off the streets and threw into cages in a makeshift detention center. It was ridiculous, and scary and very sad.
June 28th, 2010 at 5:51 am
I love you Sister Wolf! I would pay you to write if I could.
Have been thinking of you a lot recently. Am so sorry for your terrible loss. I hope it helps even a tiny bit for you to know that you are very loved. I am very glad that through the magic of the internets I feel as though you are my friend (even though you have no idea who I am!) xxx
June 28th, 2010 at 8:26 am
I love your biker boots. And, criminally, I sort of love those pink Mom boots. For, y’know, if I ever went to Rocky Horror.
June 28th, 2010 at 8:28 am
And I agree with the Shoe Girl – you have inspired me to buy less crap, and to be sensible about hilariously awful ‘trends’ I see in shops; seconds after I look and go ‘ooooh that’s trendy’ I then, of course, think ‘what would SW say?’ and good sense returns. So thankyou. You have helped me.
June 28th, 2010 at 10:56 am
The thing that’s working for me to stop spending so much money on crap I don’t need…I can’t seem to train my UPS man to not deliver when my husband is clearly at home!
June 28th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
My husband calls UPS “the brown shoe truck,” and just laughs. He also says, when I ask if I have too many shoes, and he’s recently tripped over a pair, “NAAAAAH!” So for these reasons I must continue to cherish him. Best to you
June 28th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
SW, because of inspiration from you and and from Dame Viv Westwood I’m buying less crap. And I just wore a lace tablecloth (a family heirloom) the other day and got loads of compliments on my beautiful “new summer dress”!!
SW, btw, I would hire you to write if I had that opportunity.
June 29th, 2010 at 3:19 am
I’ve got the perfect set up myself. My UPS driver delivers to my work hours before he makes home deliveries. He hands me my packages and I don’t ever have to explain anything to my husband.
June 29th, 2010 at 4:23 am
So funny, and so true, je, je
July 3rd, 2010 at 2:20 pm
The boots went to Sea.
August 3rd, 2010 at 2:12 am
Wherever will it be, i need to read more about this particular post, thanks.