Comments For Jane 6-30-2010

This week, Sea posed in an ugly sweter and blamed it on Mom. I sense a rift between them, an overdue separation of their creepy merged identities. They no longer link to each other’s blog and they’re making subtle digs at each other.   I am hoping for a titanic war with no holds barred. Don’t they owe us that?!

Meanwhile, Sea declared herself a tragic know-nothing would-be hipster by foolishly writing a post about “Bad Art.” She doesn’t know the difference between kitsch, outsider art and folk art. All she knows is that stuff that looks crude is cool to like. Like, omg, Bad Art! It’s so funny! My own definition of bad art would be that crap in Sea’s living room.

Sea won’t publish your comments, you worthless proles, but you can leave them here. I will go first:

Dear Sea, Please don’t write about things that are way over your head! Stick to Miu Mui clogs! Go find out about Reverend Howard Finster, Adolf Wolfli, Renaldo Kuhler, and then read Jim Shaw’s mission statement in his book on Thrift Store Art.   What will it take to make you feel ashamed? This is a real question. Love, SW

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60 Responses to “Comments For Jane 6-30-2010”

  1. Denise (denisekatipunera) Says:

    jane, seriously you are getting sooooo boring. But hey congratulations, you’ve recently “thrifted”. you look better on cheap clothes. for realzzzz.

  2. Queen Marie Says:

    Well spotted Sister.
    Two words. Power struggle…


  3. BethUK Says:

    Oooh, if there’s a war brewing I’m going to start reading their blogs more often.

    Poor Jane looks very confused by her new jumper. I was as well but possibly for different reasons? I think the answer to her question is yes – Dynasty wardrobe reject.

  4. Elena Abaroa Says:

    “My own definition of bad art would be that crap in Sea’s living room” hahahahahahahahahaha I´m totally agree with this, you should send this definiton to some art dictionary, it would rock!

  5. Ann Says:

    A riff between Mom and Sea would likely be the first normal teenage thing that’s ever occurred in that house.

  6. dust Says:

    Dear Sea , I know that you are angry with Mom cos she always gets better (and more) shoes, but life is like that.
    Also, Bad Art is not bad because it’s on the 14th page of Google search, but because you stupids like it.

  7. Constance Says:

    Ah Sea

    Is making “bad art” your new euphemism for “i have no talent at all “?

  8. Heinous Says:

    I think what we really all want to know is….are you going to start curating bad art????

  9. A Says:

    If they’re interested in “bad art” now, then what the hell is already taking up space in their house?

    On another note – this fashion blogger makes my asshole clench:

  10. beth Says:

    Dear Sea, it’s bad enough that you’re an arbiter of taste in the fashion world — leave the art world at peace. Also, I really don’t get the impression that you think your “bad art” is bad at all. It’s a bit hard to fish for compliments when your readers can’t leave comments, isn’t it?

  11. Joy D. Says:

    I think it is fine to create a conversation about what you like or dislike. But please write about something with substance for once.

    And to both Mom and Sea: Someday the ambilical chord has to be cut and I hope that Mom doesn’t fuck up her child’s life enough that Sea rips the chord herself.

    No one saw this coming?! Their lives are like fucking Dynasty!

  12. M Says:

    Uh oh, I feel a bunfight in the air….anyone taking bets on who will come away the winner? I feel it might be MOM – she has some seriously weighty ornaments that she might clobber Jane with if it gets really ugly.

  13. RedHeadFashionista Says:

    So it’s less Grey Gardens, more White Oleander! LOVE IT. In a few years a psychologist will look at those creepy horses (three words – Charlie the Unicorn) on Sea’s trousers and see the cry for help.
    I love how she bought the jumper she hated because Mom told her to. I foresee the huge storm cloud of tension breaking and a fight in the near future; them throwing shoes at eachother and screaming ‘I’m the prettiest!’ ‘No I AM!’ ‘I never liked those beetle belts anyway!’ etc….while Carol, Consuela (big love to the esteemed commentor who named her) and the sea monkey dogs hide in the corner brandishing kitchenware to protect themselves.

  14. RedHeadFashionista Says:

    And Denise is right, she does look better in some of her thrift clothes than in her mortage-worthy ones.

  15. RedHeadFashionista Says:

    And A, I agree with you. How many times does one need to post pictures of oneself posing Lolita-like in the same boring dress????

    Ok, I’m done. I’m sorry.

  16. miss cavendish Says:

    I love outsider art, which the first image in Sea’s list appears to be.

  17. Green Of Eye Says:


    “throwing shoes at eachother and screaming ‘I’m the prettiest!’ ‘No I AM!’ ‘I never liked those beetle belts anyway!’ etc….while Carol, Consuela (big love to the esteemed commentor who named her) and the sea monkey dogs hide in the corner brandishing kitchenware to protect themselves.”

    I just spat tea all over the monitor, laughing my head off :)

  18. hammie Says:

    Dear Sea, please have a fight with your “mom” ala the two Krystals fighting on Dynasty and put it on youtube.

    As the parent of an Outsider Artist I think you are beyond. Just Beyond.

  19. Ana Says:

    Dear Jane,

    I like you. I like you because you’re young and beautiful, because you’re happy and positive. I like you because you have nice clothes and everything else and know how to enjoy what you have. I like you because your Mom seems great and one can see that you love each other. I like you because you don’t hate!

    Take care and stay just the way you are!

  20. ellio100 Says:

    Wow, I felt kind of snarky til I realised Jane is snarkier than I could ever hope to be. As beth pointed out, she is fishing for compliments. Thing is, the ‘art’ she has managed to scrawl looks pretty shocking to me.
    If they do fall out I hope we get some kind of jackie collins book based on the fracas…

  21. jd Says:

    go with charlie to candy mountain jane!

    shun the non-believers! shhhuuuuunnnnnn!!!!

  22. Alicia Says:

    Between RedHeadedFashionista and jd, I’m getting a laughing cramp right now.

  23. TexasArt Says:

    Dear Jane,

    Get mad enough to leave Mom’s house (& the cute pups) and GO to college. Go hang with college peeps & do all the fun stupid stuff I did. I know you have the opportunity to go … So, GO FOR IT!

    All the clogs, pups & 80’s threads will still be at Mom’s whenever you need a fix. Go kid!

  24. Nati Hell Says:

    Dear Jane: You’re not a dirty old man!! You’re a 3 year old babyt! you draw fairies and castles and unicorns and forest animals… ppfff, stop trying to shock everyone, you suck at it.

    Nati hell.

  25. Giddygaddy Says:

    It appears a rift has already occurred, since mom has now mentioned Carol in two posts. In a row. I have licked my finger and held it to the wind…it feels like it’s changing.

  26. Nati Hell Says:

    Oh God, I just saw Mom’s blog, it has some recipies and stuff… and Carol likes to cook… Does this mean that Mom is finally starting to notice her other daughter?

  27. Cricket9 Says:

    Dear Jane, the “bad art” is, actually, pretty good art. You could get better at painting (and few other things) if you would give up on all things “pervert” and try to learn something, instead just buying more and more crap – especially too large and ill-fitting crap recommended by your Mom. She’s not doing you any favours, you know. Develop some guts and spine – it’s a hard life without them, no matter how much money you have. More brain wouldn’t hurt either.
    Ana, so sorry that Jane doesn’t want comments on her blog – you could beam your love directly to her; too bad you have to do it via SW blog, in a company of SW hateful readers like me.

  28. Steven Says:

    -sounds of dry heaving for ten minutes-

    The way you grieve makes me pretty nauseous.

    Your problem with Sea & her family used to be benign and maybe a little funny, but look at you now…your obsession is pathetic, not to mention unfunny and tiresome. Glad you can use people with real interests, passion, and love as whipping boys whenever you begin to feel glum about your miserable existence.

    And look at your sycophantic little minions! Finally, a place where they can feel included! United by their ass-suckery and smug contempt for Sea! Must feel good to have the fat girls of the world on your side when you decide its time to kick some teenage blogger ass.

    How do you know she doesn’t know about outsider art? You know shit, bitch.

    Yeah, Sister Wolf. You are such a FUCKING bad ass….please oh please let me into your internet cult of cuntery!!

    Man you are way more of a circus than Sea & Mom will ever be. I particularly enjoyed the shit show you put on over the Bryan Boy picture right after your son passed away. Classy as hell.

    I’m very curious to know more about the criminal record I hear you have! Please post about that. It will only add to your ‘internet bad girl’ image.

    So long, crusty cunt, excuse me while I slit my wrists and cry that people like you exist. Stay positive, my dingleberry.

  29. Sister Wolf Says:

    Steven – Oh no you dint! Fat girls?? Criminal record?!? Hahahahaha! You can suck my dick when you’re through with Bryan Boy’s. thanks, xo

  30. Sister Wolf Says:

    Wait! Sorry Bryan Boy, I got nothing but love for you.

  31. Laurin Says:

    Let’s hope this rift leads to….

  32. Laurin Says:

    Let’s hope this rift leads to….


  33. Jenny Brewer Says:

    notice how mom has also been talking about baking a lot? baking is carol’s thing.
    and like giddygaddy said, she has mentioned carol twice.

    dun dun dun

  34. Nati Hell Says:

    Oh Steven, go back to sending emails to Sea and Mom, hoping that one day they will answer to your asskissing. Maybe, if you try really really hard, your dreams will come true.

  35. dilemmaful Says:

    Slit your wrists on your own time just shut your mouth first please.

    Love from
    Fat judgemental girl. Also being “fat” makes me bigger and stronger than you so I win.

  36. Liz!! Says:

    Dude, you guys missed the best part!!

    “This jacket that was sent to me by Aritzia. It’s a little too blah for my style but it’s still basically a cute jacket…the perfect candidate for a paint job!”

    A boutique SENT her the jacket and she thought it was too “blah” so she inflicted it with her artwork? Oh hellz no. She did not just look her meal-ticket gift horse in the mouth. I hope they never send her anything again.

    But they’ll probably ask her to design a line of jackets covered with perverted fairies so that 15 year old girls will shell out $2500 for one.

    I’m mourning because I actually liked the jacket without her stupid deer and fairies. Not that I’d pay the store’s price for it!

  37. M Says:

    LOL steven you mad?
    let’s all remember that Sea turned off comments for EVERYONE, not just her haters! her poor disciples are left without an altar to worship at so of course they’re going to come here to defend Sea’s honor!

    “And look at your sycophantic little minions! Finally, a place where they can feel included!”

    he’s just jealous because he doesn’t have anywhere to do that

  38. urbain Says:

    The first line I read on your blog was a comment about a picture of Sea (with the ‘stupid LV bag and painful shoes’) and I thought, wow, this girl has such a sense of self-irony. Yes, I thought it was you, by reading more, I understood. Should I thank you to link me to Sea’s blog? Yes, I thank you to make me smile, to keep your sense of humour even on hard days.
    A few weeks back if you asked me about Sea of Shoes, I probably imagined another little island of garbages adrift on our polluted oceans.
    I wasn’t so far (replace ‘oceans’ by internet)
    About ‘Bad art’.
    Stop speaking like a little christian (probably, you’re still this 14-y-old girl damaging mom’s jeans).
    There’s no good or bad art, nor good or bad taste. Beauty has no limit, art will be always bigger than the market (Damian Hirst, Jeff Koons, and other Dow Jones artists).
    No Sea, restless clothes hook, ‘bad/crude art don’t comes from heart’ but from the guts, let me nail it on your flat belly.
    Why don’t you pick up your fabric pens and ruin another mom’s pair of Levi’ silence.. if you don’t want to be spank (I could be a good christian too sometimes).

    Sister, do you know the amazing work of Jessica Joslin?
    A fabulous ménagerie between taxidermia and curiosity cabinet, nothing to do with these ‘au courant’ bones jewelry. She grew up wandering in the halls of the Harvard University Natural History Museums, full of skeletons of exotic animals exhibited in beautiful wooden vitrines. That’s where her inspiration comes from.

    nb: it’s the right link for Jessica Joslin (emperor tomato was replaced)

  39. Sister Wolf Says:

    urbain – fantastic! Let us hope that Mom doesn’t try to buy any of Jessica’s pieces to make into belt buckles. Thanks for sharing this, and for your passion about art. xoxo

  40. Ana Says:

    It’s funny how some of you had the urge to answer to comments that were positive towards Jane – why oh why? When you’re sooooo powerful and intelligent and patronizing towards the rich teenager. And yes, I wish Jane allowed comments on her own blog, but hell, why would she when we have Sister here who made sure people could leave comments for Jane. And it did not say “hateful comments for Jane” as I recall.

    Fat or not, you’re full of envy.

    Love to all, and kisses from a far away country!

  41. Cricket9 Says:

    Ana, “full of envy”? For what exactly? All I’m saying that Jane seems to have some potential, wasted on buying more and more clothing articles with the encouragement of her Mom; that she could develop this potential if she would direct her energy towards learning and broadening her horizons (rather limited at this point – what does she do in Japan? goes to more stores!) and not more mindless consumption. However, you are free to like her -I just find it funny that you decided to express your feelings here. At least SW does not delete posts what are, probably, not exactly to her liking – see Steven.
    Steven, dry heaving for 10 minutes? Really? Who’s forcing you to endure the torture and read SW blog? You can always go to Sea of Shoes and read about Jane’s last purchases – or even better, to Atlantishome and enjoy Mom’s interior decorating. Now, THAT induces dry heaving in me, but then I don’t spend too much time there and don’t comment – my comments would be deleted anyway. Actually, who am I talking to? Just go and fuck yourself!

  42. HelOnWheels Says:

    Hey Ana, we didn’t answer comments “posted TO Sea”. For instance, we all completely ignored your comment. We answered Steve because he’s a cunty wanker and a piece of crap with no sense of humor. Also, his comment was not for Jane, it was an attack on SW. So, get off your self-righteous horse, little one. As for “envy”, you don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know who among us is able to throw money away like Sea and Mom. Just because we’re disgusted by the rampant consumerism of their lives doesn’t mean we want any part of that existence. Get over yourself.

    Steve, please feel free to slit your wrists because you’re obviously too stupid to live. However, can you please do it somewhere else because I’ve just had the floors refinished. What a f*cking hemorrhoid you are.

  43. Mickey Says:

    Liz, is it for real?

    “This jacket that was sent to me by Aritzia. It’s a little too blah for my style but it’s still basically a cute jacket…the perfect candidate for a paint job!”

    – Sounds disrespectful and rude.

    Anyhow… that Blonde Salad is having way more traffic now, so put in use shoes or cooking and charm the prince. Unless dad will sponsor forever.

  44. jd Says:

    Ana – envy is an easy, non-thinking assumption to make when people are critical of somebody’s lifestyle. ‘Oh they’re just jealous’. Eh jealous of what exactly? Not every woman needs to deck themselves out in new shoes and take photos of themselves every day. If you like to do that, fine, but please show the world you can use your brain also! It is an embarrassment to women. I am not referring to just Jane here – actually I just feel sorry for her, she is young and is missing all the opportunities she could be experiencing but isn’t. She chooses to go shopping instead. Dropped out of school to go to Barneys?? What about college, I assume her father didn’t make money by being stupid. Does he have NO influence?

    There are far worse blogging-offenders IMO, grown women, whose narcissism, shallowness & shamelessness is frightening, but anyway. For you to assume anyone who speaks how they feel is coming from a place of envy and not honesty is pathetic. Doing it with a sense of humour is called ‘satire’ – look it up.

  45. Ana Says:

    Thank you all, it’s so nice to feel your love!

    And yes, I may agree that it would be far better for Jane to go to college than drop out and buy clothes, but who are you to hate her for HER choice?? You may fool some readers and say that you are spilling all this hatred in hope that she will come to her senses, or that you will smarten some other girl not to follow Jane’s footsteps – but judging from your comments about her – you plain hate her and nothing else. You don’t seem worried about her or anybody else. But that’s how it seems to me, I may be wrong.

    And as of SATIRE – thank you dear jd, I know what it is and have plenty of it – however, English is not my mother tongue, so I cannot express myself as I would like to. And if you were refering to Sister’s sense of humour, yes, I agree, she is very intelligent and funny, and knows how to write, that’s why I read her blog. I like being critical, but I don’t like hatred.

  46. jd Says:

    well I do love an argument…I can only speak for myself of course – I do not hate Jane, I don’t even care about her. I actually liked her blog when it started, it quickly became repetitive & boring, and that’s it. I do love people taking the piss out of other people, including myself, especially when it’s close to the bone, but maybe that is the Irish in me. I certainly don’t think anybody here is arrogant enoughto think they wield any influence over her life decisions – she has her mom to steer her the wrong way unfortunately but hopefully she will cop on. I would love to see her blog become like that of a normal teenage girl – refusing to go on family holidays, hating everything her mom likes, getting pissed and getting sick all over her Prada chandelier shoes (conveniently wipeable), curating a meth lab…

    Your English is great. I would not have known it was not your first language.

  47. theresa Says:

    oh man. internet bitching is the greatest (to use mom’s favorite descriptive word.)

    my first internet bitch fight took place when i was 14 and hating on hillary duff. it was a momentous occasion in my internet use. if only there were stills for my baby book.

    as for shoes:

    come to my house! we can make bad art together. lets draw ass holes and call them SISTER WOLF, a portrait. I’ll feed you hashbrown pizza and biscotti til you burst out of your margiela then I’ll steal your shoes and sell them when you’re immobilized by the food coma.

    It’ll be fun. I promise. and since my house is a block away from a liberal arts college campus, you can have the experience without the academia! perfect!
    we can draw assholes if you wa

  48. Cricket9 Says:

    Ana, I really don’t waste my energy hating Sea, just think that she’s a perfect example of “too much money is not good for you”. BTW, you express yourself very well in English.
    As for Steven, it’s interesting that the worst thing he can say about women he hates (that would be us, ladies) is “fat”.

  49. Sister Wolf Says:

    Ana – If you don’t like the Hating, why keep coming back? Can I direct you to my post entitled “YOU CAN KISS MY FUCKING ASS?” Sorry I can’t help you further, xo

  50. dani Says:

    Speaking as a skinny (well, non-fat) girl who is only a year or two older than Sea, I can assure you I am not envious of her. I don’t even comment on these posts, but I do find them enjoyable to read, and it is not because deep down I am just yearning for her ridiculous (see: ugly) clothes and vacuous lifestyle. THOSE WHO ARE CRITICAL ARE NOT ALWAYS JEALOUS. I enjoy these more “hater” types of blogs because I genuinely DON’T understand what the hype is about these girls and find all their mindless followers a bit nauseating.

    Steven, people like YOU make me want to dry heave for ten minutes. I don’t think Sister Wolf or any of us are “obsessed” with Sea and fam. Maybe if this whole blog was dedicated to them, but it’s not!!! It’s like one post every week or two. Why can’t some people take any fucking criticism? Obviously Sea can’t, if she has comments disabled, and obviously her followers can’t either if they have to come here and defend her and put anyone who DARES to have a differing opinion down. And yes, of course this is a place where we can feel included – it’s good to know that we are not alone in disliking fashion trends and the emptiness that money and fame brings.

    SW is a fucking badass and doesn’t have to try to be one, unlike many other “fashion bloggers.” She can take the heat and dish it back ten-fold. Rock on.

  51. annemarie Says:

    Who invited the Sea Avengers to this party?

    Jane of Shoes is 17. She doesn’t go to regular school any more. She piles outlandishly expensive clothes upon her back and feet and is celebrated for her “style.” She is duly feted by magazines and designers send her their merchandise. Should she be punished for that. Well, not really; she’s only a child. But should SOMEBODY tell her that it’s a complete load of horseshit, given that her mother won’t because she’s a toolbag and the industry people won’t because they sense a way to make money and target new markets? Hell, YES!!

    To the stupid, Sister Wolf might appear to be a hate-filled party pooper. But anyone with more than six brain cells can see that she is standing up for all that is GOOD AND TRUE AND RIGHTEOUS.

    So fuck off Sea worshippers. You are not fit to attend this party. Sorry.

  52. Nati Hell Says:

    why is it that people don’t understand that making fun of someone doesn’t require a lot of energy?? They are always like “OMG YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME HATING JANE, YOU HAVE NO LIFE!!”.. eh no…

    On the other hand, Seas avengers ( name credits to annemarie ) must have a hard time trying to come up with some response that matches sister wolf’s tone.

    Awww… stop it.

  53. R Says:

    Dani makes some good points. Mockery is good for the soul. Especially when the rest of the world bends over so far to kiss your ass . . ahem . . . Steven. Just look at all the sea protectors on here that want to tell us how naughty we’ve been. I’m sure Sea will send you all a lovely hand written card for your hard work. Oh wait, she’s turned off her comments, so you can’t even tell her what a good deed you did defending her honor. How will she ever know??? What will you guys do? Ah shit! Wait, she left a note behind. It says “Out buying shoes, suckers. I’m still too good/rich to be your friend. Ta ta”

    Guess what? Sister Wolf is my friend. We communicate. I don’t just oogle her possessions. There’s a dialog here and it’s fun. We’re a community and I love it. Even when you trolls come along to try and piss on the parade. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, you whiners.

  54. Mark Says:

    Urbain–Those fingernails! I don’t know if I love them or if they totally freak me out. The latter. Thanks for linking.

  55. Mark Says:

    Dear Sea,

    I think most of the kids your age from your socioeconomic bracket are going to college in a few months. What will you be doing in a few months?


  56. Precious;) Says:

    There are a billion fashion blogs out there with semi to full grown up women parading in their crass wardrobe and piling on ridiculous hats, bows, chains and all manners of ornamentation in the PUBLIC domain, goaded by a gazillion breathless, adoring fans that would make Jim Jones proud, and it’s not ok for a couple of blogs to viciously poke fun at this Phenomenally Stupid 15 Minutes Fame Whoring Occurence?

    Worse, these self-obsessed narcissists euphemistically proclaim themselves championing a new “liberalization” of “speech” (understandable as the truth as described is simply too awful to contemplate), but well then, they SHOULD expect this means speech that laugh at their antics will be aired.

    It was perhaps a little fun in the beginning, but the overwhelming Parading of Airheads is getting tiresome and shows there is something seriously wrong with our society where perfectly great technology is used to dumb down and rev up mindless consumerism among the mostly female fan base.

  57. BethUK Says:

    Do you know. I felt a little bad reading some of those comments. I was pretty mean about young Jane. For me, anyway.

    Then I looked up what she’d written about the ‘bad’ art and the jacket she’s planning to ruin. I know it’s the preserve of teenaged girls to feel a little superior the rest of us but she has been genuinely patronising and offensive. If she can rubbish people in such a public way then she can surely take a little of her own?

    Jane, if you wanted to paint on something then why did you not buy a jacket at the thrift store? Why destroy someone’s hard work?

    Steven – for the purposes of this comment I’m going to assume that you’ve never lost a child. How dare you be so arrogant as to tell someone else how to handle a grief like that?

    Well said Precious. SW -I keep coming back to your blog because it reminds me not to get sucked in by all the hype.

  58. HypeSwipe Says:

    Wondering which minion blew you $99.00 + shipping for a used second tier designer label “MARC” by Marc Jacobs jacket. Could you not convince them they needed the sheep dip coat from “Top Shop” for $150.00. Perhaps if you had suggested they use one to paint the other they might have been oblivious to the hype and doubled your sales.

  59. Sister Wolf Says:

    HYpeswipe – Oooh, are you following me like I’m Rachel Zoe?!?!? Thanks for your interest! xo

  60. RedHeadFashionista Says:

    HelOnWheels, is this high horse you refer to drawn by Sea and friends with a magical leo-pluro-don? I really hope so.

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