OMG! This is major news! It’s official: Sea has confirmed FOR THE FIRST TIME that Ronny is her boyfriend!
Where is the goddamn champagne?!
I don’t know why it’s taken so long, but I think we can all agree that we saw this coming. Maybe they fell in love at the cat cafe, or maybe it was already a done deal. I hope that being in love doesn’t interfere with the curating.
Sea has been trying to source a pair of hideous Margiela shoes and I am crossing my fingers that she’ll acquire them from Louisa Via Roma or whatever that place is called.
Meanwhile, Mom has been cooking up a storm, correctly deducing that Sea is now out of control and that she must forge a new Jane-less identity for herself. Without Mom, though, Sea’s style has degenerated to tacky ill-fittting thriftshop dresses and sloppy unflattering hairdo’s.
Sea won’t publish your worthless opinions, but you can leave them here instead. I will go first:
Dear Sea, I am thrilled that you and Ronny are a couple, but whoa, he is packing such a gigantic package, are you sure you’re up to this?? Mom must’ve had a stroke when she saw this photo. I am impressed by your courage in following your heart even if it means dating your ex-boyfriend’s pal and risking a female injury. Don’t forget to shop, okay? Love, SW