Fake Faux Fur
Complete this sentence:
“I would wear this fur thing if ______________”
(Shopbop $396)
Tags: fur, hideous crap, Shopbop
Complete this sentence:
“I would wear this fur thing if ______________”
(Shopbop $396)
Tags: fur, hideous crap, Shopbop
August 8th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
… I had a mental breakdown.
August 8th, 2010 at 11:51 pm
… my name was Jane Aldridge.
August 9th, 2010 at 12:10 am
I would wear that fur thing if it I wanted to camouflage myself in a group of silver pheasants.
August 9th, 2010 at 12:12 am
“I would wear this fur thing if it would cure me of my food addiction and low self-esteem”
August 9th, 2010 at 12:23 am
they increased my medication.
August 9th, 2010 at 12:38 am
I wanted to make sweet love to a Yeti.
August 9th, 2010 at 12:52 am
If I were Gnarlitude. That fur thing is groin-grabbingly rad.
August 9th, 2010 at 1:06 am
….gooney bird modeled it.
Why does this girl look like she is sucking on a small gob-stopper?
August 9th, 2010 at 2:00 am
“I would wear this fur thing if… if, uuuummmm… nope. I wouldn’t wear it.”
August 9th, 2010 at 3:30 am
I had a choice between this and dying.
August 9th, 2010 at 3:32 am
…if I didn’t already have a Vena Cava one that looked just like it. (Shoot me!)
August 9th, 2010 at 3:35 am
I was starring opposite a back-from-the-dead Viggo Mortensen in The Road 2
August 9th, 2010 at 3:52 am
…..Someone paid me a huge amount of money and threw in some matching French knickers
August 9th, 2010 at 5:39 am
…..I was trying to catch some exotic bird in the jungle.
August 9th, 2010 at 6:22 am
I would wear this thing … if I could wear my long Johns as well.
(I’m sorry to keep banging on about my long Johns but, God, I look sexy in them!)
August 9th, 2010 at 6:33 am
…I were dressing as Tranny Bigfoot for Halloween.
August 9th, 2010 at 6:40 am
…..if the tauntaun that I’d been lying unconscious in on the planet HOth to survive the freezing cold was suddenly featured on SOS being “styled” with varying vermin and oddly shoulder-padded monstrosities….and prosti-barbie shoes (lest we forget). I’d have to do something for christssake – the force can only get one so far….
August 9th, 2010 at 6:42 am
I were that ugly furry guy from Star Wars and it actually grew on my back.
August 9th, 2010 at 6:45 am
I was being prepared to be hung…. in Russia… and had no metallic jean pants to wear.
August 9th, 2010 at 6:48 am
SW – I have never commented before today, but I just have to say once and for all time eternal: You Rock So Hard.
That is All.
xoxoxo
August 9th, 2010 at 6:57 am
They paid me. It’s so achingly rad.
August 9th, 2010 at 7:04 am
…if I had lost my sight and sense of touch.
August 9th, 2010 at 7:20 am
If I were born with it on.
August 9th, 2010 at 7:49 am
Someone held a gun to my head? Hmmmm, let me think about it.
August 9th, 2010 at 7:51 am
I was a hooker. A Cro-magnon hooker.
August 9th, 2010 at 8:09 am
“…held at gunpoint.”
August 9th, 2010 at 9:00 am
there are no words.
August 9th, 2010 at 9:07 am
I was going to a costume party as a chicken…it instantly reminded me of the little chickens with white polka dots on their black feathers.
BaLK! BaLK!
August 9th, 2010 at 9:31 am
… it were a VERY chilly day in hell. I’m talking icicles on Satan’s pitchfork.
August 9th, 2010 at 9:36 am
…the pants came with it, because I’d wear the pants while I took the fur thing to Beacon’s Closet to resell to Brooklyn hipsters.
August 9th, 2010 at 9:36 am
I had the brain the size of a chicken.
August 9th, 2010 at 9:38 am
“… I was joining the cast of Sesame Street.”
August 9th, 2010 at 10:23 am
“… if it also worked as a flotation device at Wet & Wild or on the Lazy River at the PGA Marriot outside of San Antonio!”
Oh! Scratch that, I might get shot. Texas ya know!
“Bother” ~ Eeyore
August 9th, 2010 at 10:59 am
I lost all common sense?
August 9th, 2010 at 11:05 am
… if i was invited to a fancy dress carpet with the theme of outdated soft furnishings. It would be pretty rad and me and my bohemian friends would all rock killer kit like this.
Oh dear, I feel dirty for typing this.
August 9th, 2010 at 11:15 am
Tina Turner in Mad Max 2.
August 9th, 2010 at 11:34 am
if I were in a theatre production of “Where The Wild Things Are.”
August 9th, 2010 at 11:40 am
Oops. That garment has addled my mind – I mixed up the words ‘carpet’ and ‘party’. I guess I’d underestimated it by dismissing it as ugly when really its powers of headfucking are so potent that seeing a picture of it can make you sound like a fool.
Seeing it in real life must be devastating.
August 9th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
…it came with a full refund
August 9th, 2010 at 12:34 pm
…I were in a coma and some stupid bitch put it on me.
August 9th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Trying to kidnap a baby yak for the purposes of keeping it calm while transporting it to an animal refuge…or if I were dressing as Rachel Zoe for Halloween.
August 9th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
…it was Halloween and I was dressing as a fashion blogging Yeti?
August 9th, 2010 at 2:14 pm
ROFLMAO!! You guys are the BEST!! I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks. Thank you!
August 9th, 2010 at 2:24 pm
…if I´m stranded in Antartica.
August 9th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
I’d wear this fur thing…
…if I wanted to upgrade my chastity belt.
…if Johnny Depp would do me in it.
…if I were an Aldridge.
…if I were an asshole.
August 9th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
…if I was in Tibet and looking to mate with a Yeti.
August 9th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
…. gorillas in the mist came visiting and I wanted them to feel at home.
August 9th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
“if Johnny Depp would do me in it” = Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Same here. Without hesitation.
August 9th, 2010 at 3:23 pm
If I had to rock it, shred it and wrench it. I’m still not quite sure what all that entails but I know I will need that furry thingy.
August 9th, 2010 at 3:26 pm
I was auditioning for the part of Buckbeak the Hippogriff in Harry Potter and the Stupid Fashion Bloggers…
August 9th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
I’m with Rosa and SW on Johnny.
August 9th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
Hahahaha! If you’re reading this, Mr. Johnny Depp, you know where to find us!
August 9th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
If I was attending the a service at the First Church of Kate Moss. Must tithe a min of 10% to Top Shop and give a special offering when the holy mother has a special collection. Amen.
August 9th, 2010 at 4:32 pm
… I had those awesome pants to wear with it.
August 9th, 2010 at 4:35 pm
haha I second the Johnny Depp thing!
August 9th, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Now you people have got me imagining Johnny Depp IN the fur thing, which is a strange, terrifying and faintly arousing image. I wonder if this thing would be a dealbreaker? On anyone else maybe but on Johhny I assume not.
I would wear that thing if it you draped it across my cold, dead body.
August 9th, 2010 at 5:20 pm
If i was thrown back in time about half a million years and found my self cowering in the back of a cave as the ice age devoured my former homeland.
Or, if johnny depp would do me in it.
August 9th, 2010 at 5:34 pm
….I was trying to outdo the Pick Up Artist, Mystery. It’s called peacocking, isn’t it?
August 9th, 2010 at 5:47 pm
If it had mysterious irresistible powers that caused perfect strangers to insist on paying all my bills for me and to come to my house and clean out all the gutters when they saw me in it.
August 9th, 2010 at 6:07 pm
… if Ryan Gosling would do me in it! or Johnny Dep, of course.
August 9th, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Sonja – RYAN GOSLING, YES!!!!!!
August 9th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
RLC – More than faintly arousing.
August 9th, 2010 at 6:41 pm
…i were achingly cool.
August 9th, 2010 at 7:02 pm
…if I could rub myself over my furniture in it like a human duster (it might be ugly but at least it could be practical!)
August 9th, 2010 at 7:30 pm
if I was Cher.
August 9th, 2010 at 8:07 pm
… if it would get Sarah Palin to go back to Wasilla and stay there forever.
August 9th, 2010 at 9:47 pm
if I was at home and no-one could see me. My cats would love it.
August 10th, 2010 at 12:02 am
i would wear that fur thing if it was CHANEL. of course. i am that vapid.
August 10th, 2010 at 1:10 am
Miggs – it would make a great cat blanket! Why did you have to make me want one?
August 10th, 2010 at 3:08 am
If I was hanging out / freebasing with Li-Lo
August 10th, 2010 at 8:23 am
If I were homeless and needed it to keep warm.
Best answer – BethUK -I wanted to make sweet love to a Yeti.
August 10th, 2010 at 11:20 am
if someone gave it to me as a gift, I’d wear it when temperatures got below zero.
Or if it were Chanel. But it would have to NOT have an obvious logo, because I wouldn’t want others to THINK I’m the kind of person who’d wear it because it was Chanel.
Miggs and BethUK- if I wore it at all, once it got into my house the cats would definitely own it, and I’d never wear it again, because whichever of the 8 happened to be sitting on it would look at me with an expression that says, “Oh, Mom, please don’t make me get up! This is so comfy!”
I have very warm fuzzy grey sweater that is still sitting atop my dresser for the sole purpose of cats sitting on it.
August 10th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Erika – Ha, I love BethUK’s answer too! It still makes me laugh this morning.
Elizettte – Genius! I could definitely roll around on the floor in that.
Kelli – Hahahahahaha, cro magnon hooker!
August 10th, 2010 at 12:12 pm
I can’t think of ONE thing that is half as funny as any of this stuff. Bravo, you sharp brains out there!
August 10th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
…if it were only $395.
August 10th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
jomamma – Hahahahhahahahahaha!
August 10th, 2010 at 1:16 pm
…if it was given to me for free by a designer and I could name-drop incessantly like SOS or Mom of Shoes.
August 10th, 2010 at 4:55 pm
…it attacked me in the wild and I conquered it.
August 11th, 2010 at 11:52 am
I cannot lie – I like it. It is sort of trashy and weird, but I still like it.
August 12th, 2010 at 6:55 am
“I would wear this fur if Rachel Zoe would appear from beneath the layers like the man-baby-stomach-monster in Total Recall and tell me my fashion forecast for the week.”
The Black Queen