What’s Missing?

If only these boots had ______________________.

(opening ceremony $630)

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83 Responses to “What’s Missing?”

  1. enna. Says:


  2. helen Says:

    …. never been put into production?

  3. dexter vandango Says:

    ..a dead Heather Mills McCartney wearing a ball gag with her “good” foot in it…?

  4. Alison Cross Says:

    If only these boots had…….style

  5. BethUK Says:

    One of those flicky knife things that pops out of the toe (Can you tell I’m not a trained assassin?).

  6. skye Says:

    Little taxidermied ferret skulls hanging off those chains, obviously.

  7. Penny Dreadful Vintage Says:

    Tassels made of locusts and an insane grasshopper zip.

  8. Alex Says:

    Some totally rad faux fur fringing. obviously.

  9. RedHeadFashionista Says:

    Shearling, obviously.
    And maybe a shrunken monkey head.

  10. Zoe Says:

    shearling! ahahahaha

  11. Cybill Says:

    a small but strong bonfire underneath them.

  12. Denise (denisekatipunera) Says:

    ……… eyes. or beak.

  13. Aja Says:

    Bells and whistles!!

  14. the real andrea Says:

    throwing up right now.

  15. lila Says:

    they are obviously crying out for some sort of skull/dead animal embellishment

  16. AmandaMichele Says:

    If only these had a bit of fringe added, maybe sticking out of the back like th new YSL pumps? Theya re jsut so UNDERSTATED I wish there was something to make them more insanely rad or stupidly cool….

  17. Sheri Says:

    One fewer strap?

  18. Jennifer Says:

    spikes, an open toe, and a glow stick attached to the heel. that would create perfection.

  19. Jill Says:


  20. vergoncha Says:

    A navigation system… shit… there’s so much going on as is. I hate these!

  21. cattirun Says:

    fringe and a cockroach charm hanging from the chains. I’d rock these badboys with my jean+shirt jumper and a pamela love claw necklace

  22. Ann Says:

    …a teapot hanging off of them like our Marie.

  23. Beck Says:

    Peep toes.

  24. Joy D. Says:

    a Whistle and a swiss army knife!

  25. Jane B Says:

    …..never being made. (They’re HIDEOUS).

  26. Olive Samadhi Says:


  27. Cecilia Duraes Says:

    If only these boots had a real velociraptor claw dangling from them!

  28. Georgia Says:

    Jane Aldridges moley ankle coming out the top

  29. claudia Says:

    never been born

  30. Make Do Style Says:

    not been made (I know stating the obvious)

  31. sally onion Says:

    a small russian village.

  32. schmutzie Says:

    This weblog is being featured on Five Star Friday – http://www.schmutzie.com/fivestarfriday/2010/9/3/five-star-fridays-118th-edition-is-brought-to-you-by-quentin.html

  33. Loren Says:

    Its own conveyor belt so the wearers need not use their feet for actual walking?

  34. Jenni Says:

    A rad fur lining made from the wool of some llama’s the Erin Wasson hand raised. Only then would I consider acquiring these.

  35. Joan Says:

    A USB port? A can opener?

  36. harps Says:

    feathers! spikes! live animals! an even more insulting price tag!

  37. jess Says:

    a vibrator attachment

  38. Sister Wolf Says:

    skye – HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! (obviously)

  39. Sister Wolf Says:

    Jenni – HAhahahahahahaha! Did you mean acquire or curate?

  40. Sister Wolf Says:

    Cybill -HAHAHAHAHHA, hahahahaha, hahahahaha! I just woke up and I’m reading these from the top. You have already made my life worth living today xo

  41. Sister Wolf Says:

    cattirun – Ooooooh, do you write for Refinery 29? Great fashiony nomenclature you’re rocking there!

  42. Louise Says:

    ….an espresso maker

  43. David Duff Says:

    The other shoe?

  44. christine Says:

    A ponytail. Like a real tail from a pony. Almost a train for your shoes, you know. Kill it. Rock it. Trip over it.

  45. HelOnWheels Says:

    If only these boots had…

    …been set on fire.

  46. Tricia Says:

    Human hair!

  47. Juri Says:

    Cowboy spurs and a donkey to come with, so I could kill them on an Easter catwalk in the middle of an ecstatic audience waving palm-leaves and shouting Hosanna!

  48. Miss Janey Says:

    Wings. Miss J craves a pair of flying shoes.

  49. Esme Green Says:

    the wherewithal to curl up and die

  50. Ann Says:

    A pencil sharpener?

  51. Sister Wolf Says:

    HAhahahahahahahahahahaha, jesus, a pencil sharpener! a beak!

  52. Katie Says:

    Clear heals…

  53. nats Says:

    a peep-toe and a hollow lucite heal that houses a live cockroach.

  54. nats Says:

    *heel, dammit.

  55. Cricket9 Says:

    OH oh oh I almost peed myself… I would love swiss army pocket knife (but only the biggest model) and a teapot. You guys all rock!!!

  56. Lana Says:

    Feathers and maybe a dead animal/skeleton.

  57. patni Says:

    My foot? ooops. I like ’em.

  58. Andra Says:

    A shrunken head with beads and definitely feathers, lots of feathers.

  59. Andra Says:

    Fresh flowers.

  60. Witch Moma Says:

    Clear heels with live goldfish swimming around in them.

  61. Srenna Says:

    One of those little paper umbrellas that you put in drinks?

  62. Arden Says:

    Feathers! Horns! And what Sreena wrote. A tiny paper umbrella sticking out of the top.

  63. Suebob Says:

    Trying to think of something original…can’t beat the ferret skulls, damn it all.

    Typewriter keys?

  64. Tina Says:

    I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with all of you people. These boots are achingly cool. :)

  65. A Says:

    a mechanism to selfdestruct in 5 seconds. *cue MI score

  66. bri Says:

    a grenade launcher.

  67. Tanya Says:

    Stirrups and a snow leopard crawling up them…. crafted out of real snow leopard fur?

  68. Anqui Says:

    a studded taxidermied mouse with Lucite and animal print/ “jungle”/”tribal” embellishments…maybe even with some tiny religious symbols thrown for good measure. (to go with the ever present crosses, Amy Odell’s “fashion Jew” and the cat “yarmulkes” in that FunnyorDie cat show video)

  69. carmencatalina Says:

    Oh, definitely the teapot. With tea in it, of course. On a cool fall day, what could be nicer than a hot cuppa, poured from one’s own boot?

  70. Pisces Iscariot Says:


  71. Jlynn Says:

    (heel and toe)

  72. Jlynn Says:

    a secret cyanide capsule compartment.

  73. Jlynn Says:

    -a dash of “Fashion Jew” panache!

    (as suggested by Anqui- maybe a platinum/ruby Star of David dangling from the tri-strap juncture..?)

  74. RedHeadFashionista Says:

    A concealed knife in the toe a la Rosa Klebb.

  75. Desiree Says:

    been rammed onto Sea’s head.

  76. Dorky Medievalist Says:

    … opposable thumbs.

  77. Mickey Says:

    Dunno, an ipad holder?

  78. The Raisin Girl Says:

    been found in the costume shop for Firefly.

  79. twistedlamb Says:


  80. Sister Wolf Says:

    Anqui – Oooooooooooooooh!

    twistedlamb – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  81. hammiesays Says:


  82. peaceBwithU Says:

    My feet in them…. honestly I like them.

  83. Deena Says:

    go go gadget springs.

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