Shoe-Speak
Ash studded heel sneaker bootie. $220 at Neiman Marcus.
“When we saw these clever studded sneakers our wardrobe creativity couldn’t help but kick in and we know it’ll be the same for you.”
Translated into English, the quote above means: _____________.
Tags: hideous bots, Neiman Marcus
October 1st, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Not just bollocks but studded bollocks!
October 1st, 2010 at 2:00 pm
Look like you’ve stepped in shit and then rolled your shit covered foot in shrapnel. Yippee.
October 1st, 2010 at 2:29 pm
hahahahahahaha! Love the shoe girl’s take on these!
October 1st, 2010 at 2:49 pm
One of the spikes got studded into our brains
October 1st, 2010 at 3:48 pm
..all the wardrobe creativity manifested in a gay parade, with a little 1984/Soviet bloc thrown in for good measure. Rock these with your mock lederhosen by Opening Ceremony and a captain’s hat by Dior.
October 1st, 2010 at 3:56 pm
…yeah, we don’t know how (or why) the hell to wear them, either.
October 1st, 2010 at 5:25 pm
…we don’t say “bootie”.
October 1st, 2010 at 6:55 pm
we saw these and thought-some stupid trendy bastards will buy them. Regardless of price. If we make them sound cool enough.
they have probably got bets on how many pairs they can shift.
October 1st, 2010 at 9:09 pm
“Suckerrrrrrr.”
October 1st, 2010 at 11:37 pm
“Be afraid. Our Wardrobe Creativity has been rooting around the underwear drawer looking for new outlets for our studding compulsion.”
Wonder if there are matching socks?
October 2nd, 2010 at 12:20 am
“There’s one born every minute! Ha!”
October 2nd, 2010 at 12:28 am
In what way are these ‘clever’? They’re just frickin’ shoes!
October 2nd, 2010 at 12:49 am
“We fucked up. We’re sorry.”
October 2nd, 2010 at 8:01 am
I am jealous of the person who get’s to write those little descriptions for such monstrosities. What a fun job! I think they could do better than “clever studded sneakers”… let’s up the enthusiasm neiman marcus!
October 2nd, 2010 at 3:28 pm
We are about as ‘clever’ as this pair of sneakers, and unfortunately for us, when our ‘wardrobe creativity’ kicked in, it kicked out any sense of style.
October 2nd, 2010 at 3:32 pm
“…Surgical Appliances from the 1950s make great fashion”
October 2nd, 2010 at 5:31 pm
“You’re an asshole who will buy anything”.
October 2nd, 2010 at 6:36 pm
“We’ll try anything to make some money in this economy. We’re desperate and hope to god you can’t tell.”
October 3rd, 2010 at 2:32 am
My wardrobe creativity just died.
October 3rd, 2010 at 4:20 am
I am not a fashion expert like most of the commentators here but I think those shoes would look great on a late teenager/early twenties young thing. $200 is not a lot of money to pay for fashionable shoes IMO.
I buy RM Williams boots in Australia and they cost around $200 and I buy a black pair and a brown pair and they usually last a very long time.
Quality costs and crap is cheap
October 3rd, 2010 at 4:25 am
https://www.bootsonline.com.au/default1.htm
Sorry they are now $295 a pair
October 3rd, 2010 at 6:12 am
Rudy, I don’t know how much money an average teenager makes in Australia, but if I’m spending $200 on shoes, they better be good. These wouldn’t look good on a young thing, old thing or anything.
October 3rd, 2010 at 8:10 am
Well, this makes sense. Rudy’s only been hanging around to spam us.
October 3rd, 2010 at 8:46 am
Translation: It means that they have come up with 101 outfits that won’t match, be a pain to walk in and won’t be suitable for any stiletto-football game you might play in.
October 3rd, 2010 at 10:01 pm
Translation: When we saw these shoes, we knew they were studded, tortured and painfully on-trend, and would therefore fly off our shelves. We had to wrack our brains for half-decent ways to style them, and know you’ll have the same problem too. (You just won’t admit it.)
I could maaaaaybe see the point of buying some studded (flat!) sneakers, but those are just hideous.
October 3rd, 2010 at 10:21 pm
Some of the more nuanced dialect was hard to parse, but I’ve gotten a rough translation (though some of the local color always gets lost in translation):
“I am a desperate-for-work freelancer who gets paid 10 bucks per blurb. This is my fifteenth blurb today; I did five for Parenting magazine on nursing bras just this morning! I can do this one…let’s see… I like wearing converses but then again I read a few books from the Victorian era, so it seems like a good thing to combine the two. Also, I could use the studs to maim the small dogs (yorkies, mostly) that pass me on my way to pick up my weekly ration of Ramen Noodles. If I had $220. I <3 Life!."
October 4th, 2010 at 5:37 am
I had to read that quote like three times. . . it continued to not make sense.
October 4th, 2010 at 5:38 am
I had to read that quote like three times. . . it just continued to not make sense.
October 4th, 2010 at 8:11 am
Ash must be short for absolutely shiteous. hurl.
They are physically incapable of producing anything elegant or classy. Please, someone prove me wrong on this! It disturbs me to see them rubbing shoulders with the Louboutins and the Alexes (Wang, obviously) in the Selfridges shoe hall.
October 4th, 2010 at 11:07 am
Literal translation:
“These are fucking ugly. We pity the fools who buy such visually offensive footwear”
October 4th, 2010 at 11:35 am
LOL David Duff is on a roll! Is wardrobe creativity a euphemism for build shelves or make shoe boxes to hid your really bad shoe purchases?
November 12th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
these are so ugly you have to really work your brain to come up with an outfit that draws the eye as far up and away as possible. you may even need to break out a few books from college when you majored in graphic design.