Morbid Awful Footwear plus DIY

The shoes at Saks.com are like a festival of roadkill.

I’ve always loved fur but something about this footwear trend is making me gag. I wonder how dogs react when they see these things approaching? I’ve tried to decide which pair above is the ugliest, but it hurts to dwell upon them.

On a related note, I am stuck with my Kate Moss Groupie Coat, since no one on ebay was astute enough to buy it from me.

There is no fucking way I’m going to wear this coat and look like a Chanel Yeti or anything of that ilk. I bought it last year in a moment of delirium.

What can I do to make this coat better? I’m thinking of cutting it off to make a short jacket. Is this good or not good? Would I need to hem it? Because I can’t handle that.

Should I add some color with paint or sharpies or something?

I could run a huge contest called “Fuck Up My Coat” and post all your ideas on Flickr, but no, that’s not how I roll. Just let me know if you have a suggestion.

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38 Responses to “Morbid Awful Footwear plus DIY”

  1. Romeo Says:
  2. Romeo Says:

    http://www.product-reviews.net/wp-content/userimages/2008/02/googly-eyes-cupcakes-to-grafitti-art-and-ipod-cases.jpg

  3. CR Says:

    dye the bottom a neon color and let it drip dry so it’s ombre?
    chop off the sleeves and make it a vest? a cropped vest wouldn’t be so bad, and you could make a sleeve into a muff if you turned it inside out!
    splatter red paint on it so peta’s job is already done?
    attach some goat horns to the shoulders?
    embroider gnar jen’s portrait on it?
    bronze it and proudly display it in your home?
    singe it so it has some FUCKIN WICKED RAD burn marks?
    cover it in googly eyes (i would totally wear that, i love googly eyes)
    turn it into a giant cat toy?
    let bats nest in it and then wear it while they’re sleeping?
    wear it as a turban? (yay for cultural appropriation!)
    wear it with nothing but some alex wang heels and take creepy vaguely porny pictures for your fash blog? better yet, have your mom take the pics!

    actually, I’d donate it to this organization, even though I can’t tell if it’s real fur. “coats for cubs” – “All of the furs received by The HSUS are sent to wildlife rehabilitators, who use the furs to warm and comfort orphaned and injured wildlife”
    http://www.hsus.org/furfree/campaigns/c4c/

  4. Make Do Style Says:

    Channelling ‘wardrobe creativity’ ….
    a) cut it and be damned. You can there wear it a few times and feel marginally better
    b) relist on ebay with sub title ‘getting the Chanel Yeti vibe’
    c) drag it behind you in a nonchalant fashion as if it were road kill
    d) none of the above

  5. mimi Says:

    adding colour with markers would be very “sea of shoes” of you :p
    so… DONT DO IT!
    donate it to a homeless person. it will keep them warm!

  6. E Says:

    … you could send it to Gala :P

    Actually if you don’t want to do yeti then there’s nothing much you can DIY to it without looking like a different coloured yeti or like you have yeti grafts. Flower up your ebay listing with Chanel/Kate Moss/Some Rad Terms bullcrap. Can you find a picture of Carine or some other fashion-worthy sporting something like to add?

  7. RedHeadFashionista Says:

    Give it to Jane to paint.
    I bought a real fur coat (yes I know) from a vintage shop for a tenner because it had a huge rip in the back, but never wore it for fear of looking like a) a tw*t and b) getting some mad veggie type trying to kill me. But they are so commonplace nowadays (often worn by the types populating the ‘Being a Dickhead’s Cool’ video I don’t think anyone would care.

  8. Sheri Says:

    The boots with the straps look like the straps are restraining a small furry animal that has been caught either while attacking or trying to escape. The dark brown ones look they’re blooming fur. The tall ones (top, right) look like they’re hiding. Maybe they could be illustrations for a kind of creepy children’s book.

    I actually like the coat, and think you could totally pull it off. Skinny jeans, with that great mane of black hair; why not?

  9. arline Says:

    I would cut it, but I would not hem it. I am lazy like that.

  10. annemarie Says:

    re-list it. maybe it wasn’t season appropriate enough back when you did it first. also, kate moss stuff is going to be collectible soon and everyone knows one should collect as many fucking things as one can in this lifetime.

  11. Cybill Says:

    All those shoes need is a set of googly eyes on the front, then we could make an amusing muppet band out of them.

    I agree with annemarie, re-list the jacket, emphasize the fact it is now a ‘collectors item’ because Kate Moss no longer designs for Top Shop (or wherever it was). Don’t bother hacking into the coat because I am fairly sure you will never like it no matter what you do to it.

  12. RLC Says:

    Cute fur shoez to go with your coat:

    http://images.quizfarm.com/110685075223inchBunnySlippersFINALlge.jpg

  13. deja pseu Says:

    “festival of roadkill,” heh! My suggestion for the coat is to have the sleeves removed and see if it’s tolerable as a vest. Either that or get out the spray paint can and ask passerby to sign it.

  14. P Says:

    I actually love this coat pretty hard, so I would be loathe to advise you to destroy it. If I were to suggest anything, it’d be to take Cybill’s idea and apply it here, so that it looks like your head is poking out of the corpse of an enormous muppet.

    Or, if I can be even nerdier for a moment, like when Luke Skywalker cuts that thing open and sleeps in it in The Empire Strikes Back.

  15. E Says:

    Oh My Gawd P – you’re not suggesting that the coat is made of Tauntaun fur?!
    Is that more rad than monkey fur?

  16. patni Says:

    I love that coat! I think it would look good on you too.But list it again. I play the Ebay game and it is SLOW as molasses at the moment. Put rare and kate moss etc in the title. and it is the right time of year for people to think of buying a jacket here in the non CA world..
    otherwise, vandalise it with a can of spray paint.

  17. patni Says:

    and totally put just like chanel yeti on the listing..

  18. Joy D. Says:

    I will be the only one, since I have yet to read the comments, and say I love the shoes above that strap in the fur. It reminds me of Harry Potter for some reason and that makes me feel good. And I contemplated buying some Charlotte Russe knockoffs.

    I think you should wear it as is and post some pictures. Maybe even if you dye the coat it would give you a new lease on life. The color right now looks tragic.

  19. HelOnWheels Says:

    SW, I’m with annemarie – relist the coat with some search-catchy names. And put the ebay link here. Why? Well, a commenter or two may secretly want the coat.

  20. Ann Says:

    As per, I am with annemarie and HelOnWheels on this one.

  21. Braindance Says:

    P, you need one of these in your life, as do I

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/bb2e/

    Not even Barbarella would wear the shoes displayed here, the only person I can think of is J Lo or maybe Ivanna Trump

  22. sketch42 Says:

    Those shoes sicken me.

    I would maybe dye the whole coat darker?

  23. E Says:

    Pair any of those shoes with the Tragic Mountain Goat pants – and add your yeti coat = hipster best seller. Pick big numbers for the reserve price on eBay SW …

  24. Make Do Style Says:

    It would seem that the universe is saying put it back on ebay!!

  25. Cricket9 Says:

    Yep – re-list it. No matter what you do to it you won’t like it – I’ve been there and believe me, I can hem, embroider and paint – it just doesn’t help and you end up even more pissed-off at the thing for all the work for nothing.
    Give it to the orphaned animals or a homeless person would be my second option.

  26. Lara Says:

    Definitely re-list it!

    Please don’t cut it. It won’t end well, especially if you’re not going to finish the ends or hem the lining. I once trimmed some furry cuffs on a coat and it was a disaster!

  27. Sister Wolf Says:

    Make Do – I’m sick of arguing with the universe. I will relist!

  28. Jlynn Says:

    if the re-list is a bust, consider snipping off sleeves and one shoulder, then cinch the waist for an asymmetrical mini dress à la Wilma Flintstone. Re-purpose sleeves as legwarmers/long fingerless gloves for a furry fab ensemble that’s sure to please!

  29. Jlynn Says:

    oh and don’t forget to fashion that last little shoulder piece into a coordinating thong- an absolute must with a peek-a-boo mini this short…

  30. delicatemink Says:

    my daughter looked over my shoulder and asked if I was looking at a monster costume – okay – monster costume

  31. That's Not My Age Says:

    I’m going to go against popular opinion and say don’t alter it, keep it. Wear it to death this winter, and then bury it!

  32. Drooling Isn't Pretty Says:

    dye it yellow and rep it like a high fashion big bird. WERQ!!!!! #sesamestreetchic
    sincerely,
    bryan boy

  33. court Says:

    sista. you need to cut off the sleeves and make this a vest. pair it with a dark colored long sleeve shirt or turtle neck….belt with a tough leather belt.

    end of story.

  34. TheShoeGirl Says:

    I bet it would sell if you put “fashiontoast” in the item description…

  35. sharon hawley Says:

    cut the coat and use the fur to make your own shoes!!!

  36. Zairen Says:

    i’m prob late but cut the sleeves off. and add maybe some chains or diamonds or gold buttons or embellishments or something.

  37. Margaret Says:

    dip-dye! i say bright teal :) x

  38. Lili Says:

    Cut the hem so that it lays on your lower waist. Dip-dye the lower part in black or dark blue. If you are able to create a gradient-fade of the colour it would be even better. Finally, cut of the arms. You can wear your updated jacket with a tight leather jacket underneath! xx

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