Suggestions for Jane™ 3-16-2011

Even though Jane is  understandably upset about Japan, there’s no reason to abandon the hunt for more shoes. “Never compromise on shoes!” is her credo, I believe.

Here is an exercise in Goth Stupidity by Rick Owens, described by net-a-porter as follows:

Elaborately adorned with a frayed  organza trim, Rick Owens’s  black leather wedge sandals are an investment in the label’s avant-garde aesthetic. Step into this sculptural style to lend your evening look an instant hit of high-fashion drama.

At $2,240, I would like these shoes to do much, much more than lend high-fashion drama to my evening. I would like them to lick me all over from head to toe and then produce a half-gallon of Mocha Almond fudge ice cream, after which they can recite from memory the first chapter of Lolita and then tuck me in bed, turn off the lights and leave quietly by the back door.

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26 Responses to “Suggestions for Jane™ 3-16-2011”

  1. Make Do Style Says:

    As Daphne Guiness would say those are ‘ugly pigs’

  2. Erika Says:

    Your fantasies are out of control. Rick Owes is ridiculous, he must be stopped.

  3. the real andrea Says:

    what was he thinking? This is so not him.

  4. Lara Says:

    I think you could get someone to do all that for far less than $2,240… maybe even for FREE!
    Those shoes are ridiculous.

  5. E Says:

    Just looking at them makes me want to claw my legs with the imaginary itching that the frayed stuff would cause. Clearly I am not prepared to suffer for an instant hit of high-fashion drama or the cultivation of an avant-garde aesthetic. Can we go back to those Romance Was Born shoes instead – or velvet boots?

    Carry on.

  6. Ann Says:

    Frayed organza is completely uncalled for.

    Your fantasy, however, is not.

  7. liz Says:

    your description of what you want them to do to you is amazing.

  8. Aja Says:

    Rick Owens how could you do this to me?

  9. Cricket9 Says:

    Muahahahaha! Didn’t I tell you MANY times that Rick Owens is overrated, and, dare I say – pompous and pretentious fuck? I did, didn’t I? I’m glad the truth is finally surfacing. I feel very smug and satisfied now. Happy St. Patrick Day!

  10. Taylor Says:

    This is so fucking ugly. His basic wedge boots are really nice, I usually like his stuff. He should avoid organza, cause I vaguely remember seeing another really bad organza shoe of his.

  11. Andra Says:

    It’s terrific that Jane is concerned about Japan.
    So is Sandra Bullock, and to the tune of one million smackers.
    What a wonderful thing for her to do.
    Apparently she made a similar donation to the Haiti disaster fund last year.
    She has my admiration and respect.
    Well done, Ms Bullock.

  12. Taylor Says:

    Okay I know this is off topic, but is this Gooney Bird?!?!

    http://www.shopbop.com/modal-spandex-bias-assymetrical-long/vp/v=1/845524441892565.htm?folderID=2534374302029428&fm=whatsnew-shopbysize-viewall&colorId=10495

  13. Andra Says:

    Poor Gooney.

  14. alittlelux Says:

    i would do all that for you for no money at all! as long as you share the ice cream…

  15. candy Says:

    I can’t think about shoes right now but if Jane donates her money for a good cause, I give her some slack, at least for today.

  16. PsychedelicAnemone Says:

    Those.Are.So.Hideous. The only way you could get me to wear those would be to pay me that $2,240 that they’re supposedly worth.

  17. Sister Wolf Says:

    candy – I don’t know if she donates any money. She does send her prayers.

    alittlelux -Oh honey, I want you to and of course I will share.

    Taylor – Yep. Look how they’ve made her stand straight.

    Make do – Hahahahahahahahah

    E – Me too. I don’t want that near me.

  18. Sil Says:

    Let´s just buy some cheap black plastic sandals, add some black napkins “arranged” and sell them as a clon for just 500 bucks. No, wait, Euros, that´s more money. Are you for it? because there are some chinese shoe stores here in Spain that could have that crap before the napkin about 10 euros.

  19. TheShoeGirl Says:

    Looks more like a JC shoe

  20. Andra Says:

    Yesterday I bought a pair of black patent thongs and a pair of off white sandals at Target for a total of $ 9.40 – I feel this is a much better deal.

  21. sisty Says:

    Lolita — my favorite novel of all time. The shoes, on the other hand, will soon add their hideous weight to the garbage landfill of history.

  22. Devin Says:

    I’m going to wrap some silk organza over my ankles, and when people ask “what the hell is that?” I’m going to just tell them it’s high-fashion drama. I hate Rick Owens! Mostly, I hate my ex boyfriend who shelled out hundreds of dollars on that crap and didn’t even buy me a fucking birthday card. Sorry venting.. perhaps I need a blog.

  23. Sofia Says:

    Based on her latest post my recommendation for Jane would be a calendar so she can realize that she is not in fact under 10 years old, and therefore spending hours buying crappy plastic toys and then dressing up in them is not appropriate.

    P.S those shoes look like fancy napkin holders.

  24. WendyB Says:

    I’m bothered that these shoes will merely LEND my evening look drama. Why is it a loan? Why can’t I keep it as a gift? Cheap bastard shoes.

  25. ali Says:

    these shoes have an afro. If they were a man, I’d be attracted to them hopelessly.

  26. shuu Says:

    The parents of 20-year-old Jane Aldridge admitted to spending $70,000 on her blog, mostly for shoes

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2126155/How-teens-parents-gave-thousand-dollars-spend-shoes-start-fashion-blog.html#ixzz25QsVVsrw

    what.the.fuuuuuck.

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