Stupidest New Website

“Today marks the official launch of  TheFix.com, a new content site aimed at recovering drug and alcohol users.”

I read that and imagined a nice scholarly-looking website filled with information and resources, like the sites about autism or migraines. Instead, it’s a garish tabloid-like bonanza of stupid features like “Worst Celebrity Meltdown” and “Hollywood’s Best Addict Performances.”

Courtney Love is one of the experts on hand to give advice, and there are articles on finding the perfect AA meeting and dating a crackhead.   There is even a BIG  photo of a syringe in an arm, to illustrate a story about vaccines. Are they insane? The whole thing looks like a great parody except for its breathtaking witlessness.

Please have a look and get back to me. Tell me your theory on how they got the seed money for this venture and what kind of advertisers will want to get in on this.

Meanwhile, they invite submissions and story ideas! I  could  never be part of such a shabby enterprise, especially knowing what I do about the horrors of drug addiction. But wouldn’t it be fun to propose some idiotic stories just to see if they bite? How about “Funniest excuse for for a relapse” or “How to flirt with an ER doctor?”

Fuckers.

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21 Responses to “Stupidest New Website”

  1. Lara Says:

    I just don’t get it. What is their goal? To entertain? To help?
    I skimmed through 2 articles which seemed relatively interesting (Coke Vaccine & Scientology funded Narconon) but whatever. I think this is more for people who think they’re in control or hip to the drug scene.

  2. eh Says:

    Maer Roshan, Allison Floam, Joe Schrank. The founders. These names sound made up. This site is too dumb for me to read.

  3. Taylor Says:

    I find this abhorrent. I know people in AA who basically use it as a dating service, which I find sick. Also, the article on the Scientology based sauna rehab is just… ugh. I hate when people disguse intended exploitation under the veil of a “help tool.”

  4. kate Says:

    it kinda looks like the online nylon magazine, but for people interested in drug use, not fashion. i got the sense that it’s not really a tool for users to find help but more just a infotainment site for all things drugs. i mean, what use is it to an addict to be up on the latest on the biggest drug lords? it’s got some interesting, sensationalist articles – children in scotland are alcoholics by 8 years old! – but no real resources. unless you count the list of top rated rehab clinics. also, the tagline “news coverage that will give you a buzz” is… priceless. and by priceless i mean worthless.

  5. Andra Says:

    Maybe you have to be a mother and clucky to be moved by this photo.
    I just find boring.
    Sorry

  6. Andra Says:

    Ah shit, that was supposed to be with the mother and child photo.
    I appear to be a day late again!

  7. Make Do Style Says:

    It is Heat magazine but purely about drugs not celebs and what they are wearing or who they are shagging. So what drugs are people taking, and who are they shagging with a sort of lets help tone too. Much like Heat.

  8. My Friends House Says:

    The idiots are winning.

  9. annemarie Says:

    wow! well, the recovering addicts i know seem to love to gossip about other addicts, esp addicts who don’t know they’re addicts, and could talk about drugs and booze til the cows come home. i don’t know if this helps them stay on the path or if it enables them, but you know better than me.

    but never mind that, the fucking writing!! i didn’t know Tom Arnold’s sister was a massive meth dealer, so i read that. it contained the following delights:

    [about what’s in the meth recipe] “Urban myths circulate about pushers who soak innocent marijuana in the concoction.”

    [Arnold’s heroic birthing skills] “In 1989, she owned a couple of bars, a car dealership and 14 houses. By then she had dumped her biker hubby and become a mother to an eight-year-old son.”

    [just to illustrate the narrative genius of the piece] ““When people start making money, it goes to their heads–just like meth does,” she admits. “I was having the time of my life. But I knew it couldn’t last forever.” She was right.”

    [also knows how to alliterate with aplomb] “Back in her hometown, Arnold tried to go straight for a time, working as a butcher at a Cargill meatpacking plant. But slicing up hogs was a gig the grandiose gangster couldn’t settle for.”

  10. Victoria Says:

    I ignored most of it, dumb website
    THe I read the Alcoholics story – yes it lacked substance – but well written
    I fight with alcohol issues most days
    struck a cord

    BUT
    the photos for an addict are dumb? who needs to see the angel of delivery(needle, glass, name ypur poison)

  11. Ann Says:

    “The Fix?” Is that supposed to be tongue in cheek?

    This website feels like TMZ merged with Huffington Post.

  12. daisy Says:

    as the mother of a heroin addict i find the site awful. to me it looks like it sensationalizes drug use. i read the article about tom arnolds stupid sister and was appalled. what is wrong with people? my son is 22 and every day it’s like he dies again. it is the worst thing in the world to endure. you cannot imagine it unless you are going through it. our lives are forever wrecked because of this disease and i hate people that glamourize it.

  13. Suebob Says:

    Household Hints: How to remove those pesky vomit and shit stains!
    Astrology: The Stars Influence What Kind of Addict You Will Be (Hint: keep Scorpios away from the p0rn!)
    Beauty: Dental Implants for the Recovering Meth-head
    and other tasteful features.

  14. danno Says:

    This might have began as a good idea. Somewhere along the way it was tweaked/spiced up by a co-writer, site manager, and/or marketing exec. Then everything went to hell. They are obviously cashing in on the gossip site obsession that many of us, including myself, are buying into. Does it really claim to be a resource for recovering addicts? The layout is so ridiculous that I can’t even choose an actual article to read. They lost me from the get-go.

  15. danno Says:

    Jesus Christ Andra. Get it together with your faulty posting and shiz. I know a good recovery site you should peruse. ;) I kid.

  16. hilda Says:

    a former boyfriend of mine used to be addicted to heroine and as a result got infected with hiv. he recoverded, but his live had lost all meaning. he kept all this to himself, just his mother and sister knew. after a few years with the disease, he commited suicide and i miss him ever since.
    there is no glamour in substance abuse, but i can see why so many people are drawn to it. why they get trapped by it.

    all i can think of, is that parents, teachers, friends and family… need to educate the kids better about this subject.
    they should defenitely speak of the fun part, of the initial glamour, because, let’s be honest, partying is hardly fun to most of us when we are sober when all the others are drugged or drunk. we should tell our kids about peer pressure, and help them build enough confidence so they can resist to take a puff or so if someone offers. we should admit that many drugs won’t make you physically dependent, but that you can become mentally dependent by all of them and by various reasons. we should inform them how much violence is used in country’s that produce drugs, such as afganistan and colombia. we should tell them about the live of prostitution, crime and begging that many addicts face. about the damage it can do to someone’s health.
    maybe i am too naive to think this will make a difference, but we can give it a try.

  17. firefly Says:

    I really hope this is an early April Fools joke.

  18. kate Says:

    no hilda, you’re right. my family was really badly scarred by heroin use, but my parents let me experiment with drinking and light drug use so that i’d know my limits and never go the way of the needle or the pipe. they were honest with me when i was old enough (although even earlier would have been better) and told me the problems our family had were caused by addiction, contracted disease and an addict’s self-loathing.

  19. MG Says:

    Is this a joke? If not – this is total bullshit. Recovering from an addiction is serious business not a fucking tabloid-esque site, a la perez hilton. WTF are they thinking.

  20. Jaimi Says:

    Fucking seriously????? Ugh. Ugh. UGH. This is just too much and I’m too angry about this to be coherent, I don’t even care. Humor certainly has it’s place (particularly of the gallows pole variety) but this is just revolting, should not exist, etc. UGH.

  21. Hallie Says:

    I just went from nearly laughing myself into a coma at the Phyllis Willis-Barbour thing, to visiting this site and subsequently wanting to go on a 1 A.M. shooting spree, all in the span of 5 minutes. You are good, Sister! xoxo

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