Exciting Man-Woman at Sephora

My friend R took me to Sephora today, to replace the NARS lipstick that her dog chewed up.

And what did I see at the check-out counter but a big frightening man-woman! If only my crappy cellphone picture could do her/him justice.

My first view was from behind, as I noticed the fake black hair with the texture of a cheap  Halloween  wig. There was a slight Angelina Jolie aspect in the profile, due to inflated lips and a hacked-off nose.   Gigantic implants contrasted nicely with the massive, muscular arms. I should have tried to see what she or he was buying, the better to figure out what gender (if any) was being represented.

In any case, I think this is a good lesson in the perils of plastic surgery AND body building. Back in the dark ages when I lifted weights, many of the female pros had managed to turn themselves into sad parodies of men, via steroids and dieting.   It isn’t a pretty picture but clearly one’s  aesthetic  ideal is badly distorted by this point.

It’s much better to let nature take its course; there is a limit to how much it can mess you up.

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35 Responses to “Exciting Man-Woman at Sephora”

  1. Andra Says:

    Are you sure it wasn’t Wal-Mart?

  2. Tanya Says:

    This is timely. Today, I kept coming across pictures of the terrible plastic surgery currently marring the face of one Bristol Palin. There’s a nasty chin implant and then some. This video made me shudder:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qALce55tiDo

    There’s a bizarre indent running parallel to her jaw line. I wonder if she regrets it.

  3. Sister Wolf Says:

    Andra – I’m certain.

    Tanya – OH MY GOD, incredible chin implant! What a family! She DID have a chinlessness problem but wow, jesus! Thank you so much! I had no idea!

  4. Mish Says:

    What a pathetic attitude to transgendered people. Grow the fuck up!

  5. Sister Wolf Says:

    Mish – Sorry, no, but thanks for asking

  6. Nora Says:

    it would have been so much coole if you told that to her face and ask if its ok to take a picture… posting this is way more off, than anyone could ever look

  7. Sister Wolf Says:

    Nora – You may not have noticed but this is a person seeking attention. The gigantic breast implants are a clue. I am fascinated by all kinds of behavior and the plastic surgery festival going on here is the topic. If you’re looking for political correctness, you won’t find it here. But it would have been cool of you to use punctuation.

  8. Ann Says:

    Whoa, Tanya! How did I miss THAT!? Holy crap!

  9. Kelly Says:

    Nature gave me chinless. And now even Bristol has left our tribe. Sad.

  10. MG Says:

    OMG! This was one of those “is it or isn’t it” moments. I hate those! Then it turns into a “ok. what the fuck is going on here??”

  11. anon anon is anon Says:

    I don’t have a problem with you making fun of people’s awful plastic surgery. But this smacks of transphobia. I knew when I saw “Man-Woman” this post probably wouldn’t be too fun to read and I appreciate what you’re saying about plastic surgery, but the “Is it a man or a woman? omg let’s make trans people uncomfortable by discussing their gender when it’s none of our business” attitude of this post and of commenters is pathetic.

  12. honeypants Says:

    I am stunned and disgusted by Bristol’s chin! That was news to me too. Wow. Plastic surgery addicts befuddle me. I don’t get how they can think they look better when they look so clearly fake.

  13. Joy Says:

    have you seen the show Steel Divas? I caught a glimpse the other night and I’d say there are people out there who think this kind of thing is quite beautiful. It very well could have been a woman. I am not moved…I think I would prefer the typical runway model figure to this.

  14. Witch Moma Says:

    Rather fascinated by the wo/man @ Sephora.

    Re: Bristol’s chin, no surgery needed – all she had to do was go to the chinadontist. Bonus points for anyone who remembers what/who that was.

  15. Artful Lawyer Says:

    Wondering why the long pointy chin look would strike someone as a good idea. I know two women with long pointy chins (I hate to say it, but the classic European witch long pointed chin) look and they bear them bravely. But to buy one????

    Maybe as Sarah P ages she’ll start to get the Wildenstein (sp?) cat woman look. That, with a really hardened sprayed updo in fake tomato red, would be cool.

  16. Sister Wolf Says:

    Artful Lawyer – I just want to hear Bristol deny the new chin. Lying is the Palin creed.

  17. Sister Wolf Says:

    anon anon – Oh shut up. I can have ‘transphobia’ if I want to. I don’t, though. I just reserve the right to have any kind of phobia I want.

  18. Sister Wolf Says:

    Joy – I will look. Thanks!

  19. liz (the who cares girl) Says:

    Nature taking its course = absolutely a good thing…but a few products along the way don’t hurt either. You have made me even more of a BELIEVER in the power of sunscreen and a good red lipstick–you look fabulous! :) (p.s. I’m still crushing on your gold sequin pants, hard)

  20. Sue Says:

    Well before I read the heading i thought it was sister wolf posting about her shopping spree or something. No offense but I thought it was her at first glance.

  21. Sister Wolf Says:

    Sue – HAHAHAHAHA! Yes, it is a kind of smashed-face, inflated chest, testosterone version of me

  22. tartandtreacly Says:

    In brief:

    Muscles – yuck!
    Trannies – ew!
    Genderf**k – qu’est-ce que c’est?

    OR (and sing along to Nancy Kwan in Flower Drum Song now, y’all):

    “I’m strictly a femalefemale
    Which means no weight-lifting for me!
    In Sephora I sneer at the she-male
    Who enjoys being a queer and not a girl… like…me!”

  23. kirsten Says:

    fuck you all that chose to be big time butt hurt about this shit. sister wolf wasn’t being “transphobic”, she was merely noting how SHITTY this tranny’s getup was. being curious about a transgendered person’s ACTUAL gender is NOT a phobia, it’s natural and should be expected. i am so goddamn sick of the LGBT community’s incredible hypersensitivity about what people say. you guys should walk on over to perez hilton’s website and freak out about any little vaguely insinuated homophobic thing that’s ever happened in the fucking world.
    curiosity is normal in human beings, if we’re not sure if you’re a man or woman then EXPECT IT and if you just can’t deal with it then do us a favor and FUCK OFF

  24. Sister Wolf Says:

    tartandtreacly -I lifted weights for nearly 15 years! I will send you a pic if you need proof. I do feel bad about women who distort their bodies via steroids. They lose so much body fat that they often resort to breast implants in an effort to assert their “femininity.” I believe this is the situation re the Sephora person. Again, it’s the plastic surgery that freaks me out. Try watching the Kardashian family and see if you don’t feel the same. xo

  25. That's Not My Age Says:

    Is it Amy Winehouse?

  26. Make Do Style Says:

    I’ve told my Dad so many times to brush his hair before he leaves the house otherwise it will cause a stir.

  27. Sister Wolf Says:

    Make Do – Well, but surely that’s not him, Kate?! He’s not in L.A. is he??

  28. Dru Says:

    I don’t know why people elsewhere keep insisting that women who lift weights/have a muscular build, are somehow less “womanly”.

    In any case, that’s not even what Sister is saying here (unless someone takes offence at the implication that steroids are bad for women. They’re bad for everyone, full stop- NO ONE should do them) .

  29. TheShoeGirl Says:

    OMG. That’s my friend’s mom.

  30. TheShoeGirl Says:

    Just kidding, but that would be so funny.

    I wish I had the self control to keep the joke going longer than 5 seconds.

  31. lea h Says:

    you are an idiot. as soon as i read this post, i realized you truly are an idiot.

  32. Sister Wolf Says:

    lea h – Okay, but use capitals unless you are e. e. cummings.

  33. Brynn Says:

    Taking pictures of people in public and then posting those pics just to make fun of them is the very definition of mean. Would you want it done to you? Where is the civility?

  34. Sister Wolf Says:

    Brynn. Yeah, it’s mean. But if I went out looking like that, I would not be surprised if someone took a photo. I’ll make it up to you by posting a really unflattering picture of myself, okay?

  35. Posey Says:

    Wow. Taking pictures of unsuspecting people going about their daily business, picking on their appearance then standing on your soapbox and using them as your scapegoat. Classy.

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