Meet a Troll

In response to my last post about rock bands, I  received  the following comment by someone using the name Gene Simmons:

i hate that old dried up cunt, the one who ´s son died

~

Here are my thoughts. It’s wrong to attack someone like this, online or otherwise. Why the hell would a total stranger try to hurt me in this way?? Just because they could get away with it?   It is beyond my understanding.

So I wrote back to this person, and said:

What a horrible thing to write to me!    May I ask what moves you to write such a hateful comment to someone you have never met?   I hope you never experience the loss of a child.    Meanwhile, I’d like to know why you would invoke the loss of mine in response to an  innocuous  blog post about rock bands?    Sister Wolf

The next day, she replied:

you know what you are right
I ´m deeply sorry

your loss is way too big for me to understand, and i was outta line
this is what made me write that:
“that girl whose boyfriend punched her in the face”
when a person suffers through abuse, besides the beatings and insults and humiliation
what hurts the most is  the scorn of those around her,
things like

“that would never happen to me”
“that happens only to stupid bitches”
and it pissed me off that while you demand compassion about your situation,
you show none towards  someone who was fucking publicly punched in the face and then mocked endlessly for it
sometimes the only person who doesn ´t shit on you for being in that situation
(that looks so simple but it ´s not)
is  your abuser
so you go back  because in that moment he is being sweet, when deep down you know that it won ´t last
and it was a mistake I ´m sorry
I know things don ´t get better by insulting someone else in pain
and there i was trying to put you down to make myself feel better

when we are all fighting something
that random comment just struck a cord, felt personal you know?
óbviously I ´m not without fault myself
I hope this makes you feel less insulted

yours truly
Gene Simmons

~

Having read and reread this explanation, I don’t feel Gene Simmons knows the difference between a pop star and a blogger who lost a child.   I don’t “demand compassion” as Gene Simmons states. I have no demands. I merely expect human decency from those who wish to leave comments.

Gene Simmons is actually a 31 year old aspiring artist named Gabriela who lives in Mexico. There she is, above. She needs to take  responsibility for the things she writes.   She’s not 12 years old, after all.

I don’t want to hear ONE MORE WORD about my vag, which in fact does not suffer from dryness. And I don’t want to be taunted with the death of my child.

Please explain to Gabriela why her apology is worthless, since I don’t feel adequate to the task. Explain to her that the cause of abused women  isn’t  furthered by grotesque insults lobbed at other women, under cover of a pseudonym.

And if you want more of Gabriela in your life, you can visit her here.

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90 Responses to “Meet a Troll”

  1. Laura Says:

    Maybe Gabriela was ‘punched in the face’ by her boyfriend and that’s the real reason why she left a nasty comment. I get the feeling she has been been abused in some way, otherwise why would that comment have upset her so much? She’s writing about herself, not a pop star.

  2. Sister Wolf Says:

    Laura- yes, I agree. But I WAS NOT TALKING ABOUT HER nor did I dis Rihana, who revels in her abuse by singing with Eminem about “liking it”it. A battered woman need not bring up my son, PERIOD.

  3. Daniel Eaton Says:

    Sister Wolf…I also live in Mexico….shall I hunt her down? ;)

    Aside from her awful grammar I was offended by her cowardice. People feel they can say anything online; like anonymity is license to misbehave.

    Sadly none of us can make anyone out there on the web behave like accountable adults….but she (Gene Simmons) should know that in THIS community of people who enjoy your blog, she has no friends!

  4. Sister Wolf Says:

    Daniel – Yep, it’s the cowardice and the license people give themselves to say truly outrageous and cruel things because something “stuck a chord.”

  5. Laura Says:

    True that! I don’t think what she wrote was acceptable at all. I was just trying to understand why she would ‘troll’ to begin with.

  6. sophia Says:

    huh. it is strange to have a face to put to an internet troll. usually they are these odd faceless miasmas. i’m not sure if it is more creepy to see one actually materialize as an actual person. on the one hand, it is horrifying to put a face to it because you have to wrap your head around a specific person (not a somebody!) being so cruel and angry just for the hell of it. on the other hand, you can see that the nebulous troll miasma is just a person- a really miserable person most likely- and then develop some compassion. working long hours as a waitress at a place where i’m alternatively hit on and insulted, i’ve found it really useful to just feel badly for people than get angry or upset when they treat me like crap. i just figure they must be miserable and i feel badly for them. this chick is obviously going through something.

  7. Sister Wolf Says:

    Sophia -It IS strange! I think of them as evil entities but I feel they should be Outed. I have never left an anonymous comment anywhere. Ever. If you have something to say, create a forum or vehicle to express it.

    We are all going through shit, don’t you think? It’s not an excuse for all forms of behavior though.

    I appreciate your thoughtful comment and your insights.

  8. muddy Says:

    damn…

  9. Rebekah Says:

    I had this horrible job where people were so often rude over something as unimportant as coffee. After one verbal assault over what? I still don’t know, the person behind her told me “people who treat others that way just don’t get it, they just don’t get it and they never will”. This woman was always kind and always had a smile and taught me at a very young age that some folks are just assholes and it has nothing to do with you. That lady’s comments about your son are disgusting, and clearly she doesn’t get it, and never will. The type of person who takes the time out of their life to sit and type hurtful things like that is an incomprehensible well of sadness. And talking about someones vag is just weird!

  10. maki b podell Says:

    sister wolf
    compassion… please if any knows the depths of despair it is you-be kind she just doesnt get it but it appears she is trying

  11. mimi Says:

    honestly i think its totally heartless and indecent for some random to write something of the sort.

    what happened to people having compassion for one another?

    there is a different between snark and full-on vile behaviour. that comment definitely crossed the line, and good on you for not letting it go unnoticed.

  12. sophia Says:

    hmm… to begin with, what this woman said is just thoroughly vile and disgusting. if it had a smell it would be putrid. i don’t want to diminish that in the very least. anyways, it seems like what you find particularly hateful about this lady (beyond the obvious) is her attempt toward anonymity. I can totally understand that but I also just kinda see her behavior as another reiteration of pain of which there is an infinite variety. there are a million ways to be cruel and hateful (new configurations discovered by the hour!). this is why, as you pointed out, we all go through shit- we are all flinging shit all the time! inflicting pain anonymously on the internet is a particularly low variety (i wish dante was around to catalogue the horrors of the net) but it doesn’t seem like the root issue to me. The root issue is, for me, how to deal with hateful, sad people in a way that will ultimately make one feel better. For me, it is trying to develop compassion so that, you know, I can just stop thinking about the shit and move on to something else. It doesn’t always work… but, you know, sometimes it helps.

    I realize I’ve written a lot but it is because I’ve thought a lot about this kind of thing (the shit we all go through and the shit we put others through) in my short life. I was sexually abused as a child and teen which, you know, sucked. what was worse for me, though, was when I did try to get help, I was told by a lady adult friend that I was wrong, that it never was happening, yadda yadda. I never got help after that. The abuser was a looker and a charmer- I found out later she had feelings for him. A real sob story (and I’m really fucked up so I don’t know why I’m writing advice on the internet!!… ahem) but that isn’t my point. My point is growing up I thought a lot about things to be angry about and the reasons why people do terrible things- because they do do terribly wicked, seemingly meaningless awful things- and what I can do about that and how I am going to survive spiritually (and, therefore, physically live). I guess the conclusion I came to is that the only way out of it is to realize how miserable hurtful people are and just how much suffering it takes for someone to belch something awful (words and actions). This helps for two reasons: 1) It makes me not want to participate in the cycle so that I can move on. 2) I also am struggling from time to time. I am also sometimes horribly miserable. I know how it feels to have a lot of hurt and then sometimes hate inside… so then I can empathize. This helps for (another) two reasons 1) Even if I don’t know a person, it helps me realize that they aren’t entirely one thing or the other. They are a person. Our experiences of each other are really limited. For example, maybe this troll is kind and sweet to her grandmother. Is her grandmother’s experience of her any less valid? when I was a kid I loved the movie dead man walking (I wanted to be a nun for a short period of time… rofl). There is a line in it in which the sean penn’s character says something to the effect of- what if your life every day was about the worst thing you’ve ever done? That really stuck with me. I don’t ever want to treat people in that way. 2) Realizing their suffering makes me feel connected. It might a connection to the vast web of human suffering but somehow recognizing that is uplifting to me.
    I probably sound like an annoying do-gooder and I’ve blathered on for a long long time… anyways, those are my thoughts. I’m not going to edit!

  13. Ann Says:

    I am sick to death of people breaking bad behind the shroud of secrecy that the internet offers. People say shit online that they’d never say in real life and it is unacceptable. Trolls SHOULD be outed and placed on public display. Actions have repercussions. We’ve all been through personal traumas; that does not give any one of us the right to write vile, unsolicited nastiness on someone’s blog. Apology not accepted, especially when offered by a 31 year old who should most certainly know better.

  14. Sister Wolf Says:

    Sophia – And I won’t edit your thoughts. I grew up in an abusive environment and as a teenager I was raped more than once. I am aware that people who do awful things are deeply wounded.

    I am never going to renounce “negativity” because I like to rant and that’s why I started this blog. And I do council compassion where it is helpful and appropriate.

    This post is about getting crazy strangers to stop taunting me about my loss and I fucking mean it. There is no excuse for trolls like this. None.

  15. cybill Says:

    I don’t think I understand Trolls reply. This is how I interpreted it; SW wrote that she didn’t like a rockband. Rhianna (who I assume none of us know) got punched in the face, and SW should have more compassion for her, according to Troll. Therefore Troll who is fighting mysterious pain of her own attacks SW.

    Well using that sort of “logic” I told my brother I didn’t like his shoes this morning so someone should be assassinating the President of New Guinea in about an hour.

    Gabriela the Troll, your apology is beyond worthless and your original insult silly and pointless. You don’t want things that represent you to be silly, pointless and worthless do you? If your life is going to shit, change it for the better and don’t try and hurt other people, it doesn’t work.

  16. Sister Wolf Says:

    cybill – thank god you are here to help. Will you accept the post of Minister of Communication?

  17. Andra Says:

    Well, there it is. Everybody else has said it all.
    Especially Sister Wolf.
    Spot on, sis.
    Have the guts to say what you want to say and face the repercussions.
    That’s life.
    What’s that old saying, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
    Still true.

  18. cybill Says:

    With honour Sister Wolf (I get to wear a sequinned sash as part of the job description don’t I?)

  19. sophia Says:

    yeah, well, i do love your negativity and your blog! i guess i just like to take a different kind of path in my own life. mostly because i don’t like feeling negative and can get dangerously unhappy if i don’t, like, do the hippy dippy kinda positivity crap (embarrassing but true). doesn’t mean i don’t appreciate you, though! love your rants and thoughts.

  20. patni Says:

    I have no respect for people who are rude with out the courage to put a name to it. And some things are just too big to be a strangers business. Something like losing a child is not something you joke about, and certainly not hiding behind a curtain to some one you do not know.
    In some ways the same could be said of domestic violence, but you did not attack Rhianna about being , you just said she was punched, as indeed she was, and it was spread across every piece of “news” media that exists.

    But to cut to the chase, You were not commenting on her personal life, you said you didn’t like her music. Which is your right, I have also experienced domestic violence, although i never paired up with eminem to promote it, and i do not like a single note of her music either.

  21. patni Says:

    And like I have said before, if you are looking for positive light and affirmations, you may not want to read a blog entitled Goddammit I am mad and getting madder. I had a troll on my blog when i started it who kept on complaining that i whined too much. I called my blog, my whlog, my whine log. what the hell do you expect?

  22. Sister Wolf Says:

    Sophia – Whatever works for you, I support it.

    patni – YES godammit, Rhianna does not represent battered women, as she herself insists. And she digs guns and has tattoos of them. She is no champion of civility or anything else.

  23. Elaine Says:

    How does being abusive teach someone to NOT be abusive?
    I just don’t get trolls

  24. Sister Wolf Says:

    cybill – Of course you get the sash. You can also wear a leopard print hat like Mobutu. That is my dream, anyway.

  25. Make Do Style Says:

    The rock band post was brilliant. Rihanna did get punched – fact. Cybill is spot on there is no logic nor justification to someone anonymously typing a vile comment in Mexico aimed at SW.

    I love the quote “people who treat others that way just don’t get it, they just don’t get it and they never will”.

    No matter what shit you get dealt in your life by the shitty stick there is no need to be vile to others.

    There is a programme on the BBC called Mock the Week – it reminds me of this blog. It just makes fun of people, situations and events. The word ‘mock’ is a shall we say a bit of a giveaway.

    I get bored of stating this – if you blog, i.e. publish on the internet for others to read, digest then anyone can make fun or mock you. That you have to take on the chin. People might think your blog is stupid, worthless, pointless – whatever and that is their right.

    No one has the right to be a troll. Being a troll typically involves being anonymous and use swear words as if they are descriptive words and mainly being downright nasty. Name calling by typing has to be the lowest of the low. Ugh!

    The only redeeming factor in this is the fact the troll actually did take note and had the grace to attempt an apology but then tried to wrap it up in her own self pity. Still one step at a time.

    How I long for the Wizard of Oz style annihilation ‘Ding Dong the Trolls are dead, the Trolls are dead, the Trolls are dead, ding dong the troolllllllllls are dead!’

  26. Make Do Style Says:

    Just to come back to a point in my comment that sits there in isolation – the bit about the blog mocking is trying to contextualise the idea that people get offended! So if you are a blogger that others perchance might mock for some reason then so be it. If you write something in your post that someone disagrees with then of course people can say so but they don’t have to jump straight into being a troll. I’m waffling now due to in clandestine rage over trolls!

  27. Priscila Says:

    I do not think that the loss of a child is something you joke about, but abuse is not something to joke about.
    Just because Rihanna is a popstar doesn’t mean she is not a human being. You talk about decency, her behavior, her status, but what matters is that you decided to write that line, even if she never reads that, you wrote that, that came from you.
    And this unexpected line in the middle of a humorous post is the kind of thing that can trigger so many feelings in some people and hurt so much. I don’t know what this girl have been trough, I’ve never experienced what Rihanna has and I can’t even imagine what is to lose a son. But I know I won’t ever joke about someone’s death or abuse. I don’t think what she did is excusable even considering that she mighty have written that because she was hurt, but I don’t consider releasing someone’s personal information online excusable either, even if what she said hurted you. You don’t know why she choose anonymity while touching that subject, exposing her and her deep feeling towards this may have been very cruel too. Maybe you made her learn a lesson, maybe this won’t change anything in her life, maybe this will trigger worst things and maybe now she is or feels in danger.

  28. EJ Says:

    Ah, the world needs both Sophias and Sister Wolfs (or should that be Sister Wolves?), but not these rubbish trolls. I think sometimes it can be valid to comment anonymously, but not in this case.

  29. Nats Says:

    I couldnt give a monkeys what is going on in Gabriela’s life or head, whether she has suffered shit or not. “If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything” is a universal motto which should be applicable to everyone, regardless of their situation. Also totally pointless hoping that you are “less insulted”. I think being called a “old dried up c**t” is insulting enough as it is, let alone referring to your son. I think Gabriela needs to stop with the inane insults and actually start learning something of the world, and the people that live in it. Until that time comes, she may as well put friend making on hold and quit the Zorpia profile.

  30. Erin Says:

    As someone that has suffered domestic abuse, I really do understand why she lashed out at you. Though, it was not something to be commended, she was humble enough to apologize. Honestly, it was a bit insensitive of you to refer to Rihanna as ” the girl that got punched in the face”.

  31. Nats Says:

    Erin. Which is worse? Referring to someone as being “punched in the face” or as an “old dried up cunt who’s son has died” – directly to them. Im sure Rhiana wont see the comment and be offended personally, and being someone who has been punched in the face, many a time before, I didnt see this as offensive in the slightest. I think you and Gabriella should fuck off and go suck Rhiana’s arse to be honest.

  32. annemarie Says:

    Dear Gabriella,

    I can’t believe all the cries for compassion you are getting here. I wouldn’t take it personally; you really don’t inspire compassion and I very much doubt you deserve any. I think that the only reason all these comments were left is because people rarely like to miss the chance for a good ‘ol spot of moralizing.

    In the most flippant and cowardly manner possible, you tossed out a cruel and wicked comment to a person you don’t know, a woman who LOST HER CHILD.

    Allow me to remind you of what you wrote:
    “i hate that old dried up cunt, the one who´s son died”

    You are a toxic and shallow person, so locked up in your own pain that you cannot even begin to fathom what it might be like to be someone else, to experience what they have gone through. I find it laughable that you are an “artist.” Then again, Hitler was also a failed artist.

    The only people I feel compassion for are those who have the misfortune to cross your path.

  33. Braindance Says:

    Why are people insisting that you be more sensitive towards the feelings of a young woman who thinks it’s “healing” to bang on about she loves the way it hurts and S&M to 7 year olds?
    Rihanna could have been a lot more productive and positive in relation to her own experiences with domestic violence, but instead we got short shorts, stupid songs and the fact that she likes the smell of sex. What a trooper.

    I thought your comment on Rihanna was flippant, but funny. I don’t care about her either. Or Bruno Mars, he is like a goblin king intent on secreting his bland soul destroying whining into the ether.
    I am forced to listen to them both at work, what a couple of pricks. Always fucking complaning or banging on about some crap that is totally irrelevant and pointless in relation to the world and it’s people.

    Troll face, there are much more human and emphatic ways of making a point, you just come across as confused and emotionally stunted.

  34. Kelly Says:

    I have a troll names Ronald Fleischman. He doesn’t post on my blog, he calls my home number and threatens me. Someone(s?) uses my name on Topix—or so he says…I don’t visit Topix—to taunt him. He accuses me of hacking into his computer and ruining his business. He knows where I live and says he is going to “get me before I get him.” He has a friend that has called to harass me too.

    SW, all I can say is that it is not too much to expect human decency from commenters. Obviously my situation is not analogous to yours…yours actually has more direct personal invective and mine is just some crazy old guy in Chicago shooting his mouth off because he is a lunatic.

    I have reported RF to my local police. I am not going to change my phone number because of this asshole. I want to believe that RF will never show up at my door, and I hope I’m not naive. I didn’t bring this up to garner sympathy—just want to point out that shit like this happens.

  35. Tanya Says:

    “The girl that got punched in the face” is indeed a young woman who got punched in the face. That’s a fact, and the girl in question publicly exploits being violated to some degree. She is not an advocate. She is a business. That’s neither here nor there, though. My point is that “dried up cunt whose son died” is not a factual statement. It’s a venomous one aimed at someone who hadn’t launched a malicious attack at The Troll, nor anyone else. Gabriela needs to fuck off and find a more productive way to deal with her issues in favor of anonymously slinging invectives at a grieving parent.

  36. Liz Says:

    The internet is a sick place, a place where people can come be assholes, perverts, villainous, horrible human beings, and hide behind “anonymous” It’s disgusting, and makes me wonder who these disgusting people are in real life. Even if i HATED someone, I couldn’t possibly come up with the words people have called you on here.

    And seriously, like the world, the internet is a BIG place, if she doesn’t like what you write, she should just go elsewhere.

  37. Dru Says:

    Gabriela was completely out of line, hiding behind her anonymity to insult you, but I agree with Erin – the Rihanna reference was a bit insensitive (sure, everyone knows about it but it’s still insulting, as if she was nothing else before or after the beating – shit like this is often why ordinary girls don’t report it, no one fancies being known as “that girl who was beaten/abused/etc.).

    Not that I think Rihanna is particularly going to suffer because of one comment on a blog , but I can get why gene/Gabriela got mad. It doesn’t in any way excuse her taking shots at you anonymously via Max, though – that was just wrong.

  38. carey Says:

    why not accept an apology? if we go about being stubborn, what good does that do anybody? whether it’s abuse, or death, or illness, or whatever, pain is still pain, and each person’s pain is excruciatingly difficult. compassion is the only way we can begin to heal.

  39. Audi Says:

    I noticed that comment the other day and am so glad you called her out for it. To me this seems like a classic case of the abused becoming the abuser; she’s obviously suffered some sort of abuse herself and is using the cover of anonymity to lash out at someone else. She had an opportunity to open up a meaningful discussion if she really felt that strongly about it, but instead she chose the cowardly option of taking a cheap shot at someone else’s suffering.

    I got the point you were making with the ‘girl who got punched in the face’ comment. Rhianna makes a caricature of herself by taking every damn opportunity to talk publicly about her sex life and how she likes to be tied up and whipped. Sure, she’s not obligated to be a spokesperson for battered women, but she could at least show a little more discretion. Why not demand that interviewers focus on her music rather than her personal life? Oh wait; her music sucks. Never mind.

  40. Gabriela Says:

    i just felt bad about what i had wrote and tried to fix it
    thought that saying something cheesy might help
    there is nothing i can do now
    on the bright side you can moisturize your dry cunt with your tears

  41. Sister Wolf Says:

    Gabriela – This will be your last comment here. I rest my case.

  42. annemarie Says:

    ^ God, you are a pig.

  43. Sister Wolf Says:

    annemarie – a pig AND a poet.

  44. Dru Says:

    Gabriela – you’ve just made me absolutely certain you’re a troll, where before I just thought you were a woman who’d had some awful experiences and was lashing out at something she took personally.

    Also, if you really felt bad, you wouldn’t have left that last comment.

  45. Dru Says:

    annemarie – let’s not insult pigs, they’re nicer and cleaner than our troll above (I had one for a pet when I was a kid, they’re darling if you don’t mind them eating everything in sight and following you everywhere)

  46. Sister Wolf Says:

    Dru – They really are cute! I have a jpg of two little pigs swimming that is SO CUTE, want me to send it to you?

  47. Braindance Says:

    Carey, that was not an apology.
    Troll face is unable to come up with anything of value, hence the last comment.
    Some people thrive on this kind of attention because it’s better than none, pathetic but true.
    I am going to drink more red wine and pretend to myself that the world is not a massive cluster fuck of pain that has to be navigated with a core of steel and a funny bone.

    Capitalism can’t have everything it’s own way because it will create a hell that no rational person would want to live in.
    Chomsky

  48. Maura Says:

    Speechless. People like that really make me want to live in a cabin in the woods. On behalf of humanity, i’m sorry.

  49. EJ Says:

    I forgot to wheel this gem out http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/3/19/ Always true.

  50. carey Says:

    i still feel compassion for the too ugly to be a pig person, but really, sadness and pity is what i feel most. she is a lost, dark, empty person. although it just may be too late, i hope her c*nt is always well-lubed and that she figures out how to break the cycle of pain and abuse and be thoughtful and kind.
    sw, you were right about her personality, but like sophie says, i think we have to deal with vileness in a way that doesn’t keep smearing it around this world we live in together.
    i love your rants, you often help us readers get through it, knowing that we’re not alone. thanks.

  51. Juri Says:

    Gabriela, when a teenager identifies herself with celebrities with whom she fancies having something in common it’s disturbing. When a 30-something woman does that it is a cue to her loved ones to stage an intervention.

    Then again, your loved ones probably gave up on you 20 years ago.

  52. Daniel Eaton Says:

    Wow! Some bitches don’t learn! Gabriela’s cunt seems to be overly acidic….prehaps a bit yeasty as well! What a twat!

  53. Juri Says:

    And another thing, Gabriela: You have NEVER experienced abuse, violence or anything of that sort. You have read in glossy magazines how that umbrella girl was beaten up by another nonentity in that car but you have no first hand experince. You only wish you had.

    I’ve been stabbed, battered, beaten up and so on and so forth. I got my first (and last) group beating at the age of 10 by a group of 5 wealthy kids who took turns beating my friend and myself up at their playground (after inviting us there). I have read about celebrities having experienced abuse but I have NEVER looked at an abused celebrity and thought, ‘hey that’s me’.

    If a person is truly hurt he does not look for objects of identification in magazines. How the fuck should Madonna being abused by Sean Penn help my nose bleed? Or that umbrella girl and Chris something. My nose bleeds and dries on its own, and so would yours if it had ever bled.

    Another thing about persons who HAVE been hurt/wounded/abused: they don’t troll around in the interwebs and other places looking for grieving people they can hurt or insult. Wounded persons RESPECT the pain and grief they see in other people. You wouldn’t know grief if it kicked you on your terribly fat ass.

    Also too, I’m on my holidays in Turkey and the band at the pool is crap but the raki in the bottle is outstanding!

  54. Jaimi Says:

    What a rude little pig, much too old to be acting that way (though it’s disgusting and unacceptable at any age). 31 years old, just…wow.

    And Juri, I can’t stop laughing. Sad, but likely true. I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to put up with someone like that.

  55. Nats Says:

    Seriously gabriela give it up. Is it any wonder why you only have 6 friends on zorpia? Your just crying out for some attention. Oh dear.

  56. Sister Wolf Says:

    Juri – I’m glad you were able to bring it back to terrible bands. Also, “Wounded persons RESPECT the pain and grief they see in other people” I wish this were the case more often.

    ps I’m glad you’re on holiday.

  57. Tina Says:

    Sister,
    This bitch sounds like my sister in law who is a major cunt and constantly lashes our for attention in the most vile of ways. Ignore her sorry ass.
    XOXOXOXXOXOOX

  58. Juri Says:

    SW- I love KISS and Bret Michaels too much to post on that blasphemous (as David Duff would say), er, post, but here’s my confession (I haven’t been touched by an album in 20 years, really)

    Lou Reed: New York
    The Rolling Stones: Sticky Fingers
    Guns’N'Roses: Appetite for Destruction
    Johnny Thunders & The Heartbreakers: L.A.M.F.
    Baccara: Baccara

    PS. I love you Sister Wolf. Don’t EVER leave us!

  59. Juri Says:

    Gabriela, some 25 years ago at a party somewhere in my well-balanced teenage-hood/dom we had a party. We were around 17 years old. One of us went to the bathroom, climbed into the tub and begun cutting himself. Another one of us went to take a piss, looked at the bleeding one in the tub and said, you should cut deeper so you would bleed better. Then we went on with our drinking.

    The point of the fairy tale: this is the wrong place to “discuss” your self-destructive plans. “What then?” Let’s fucking see. You first. GET HELP!!!

  60. Dru Says:

    Sister – I think you deserve to have a cute painting of a pig to look at instead of me, here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/w_yvr/253556051/ (I recall you liked Sowa’s pigs a while back)

  61. Dru Says:

    And also some happy updated classic TV show themes, since we prefer music to trolls.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHbgdIR-Rrg

  62. candy Says:

    well, the girl seems to have some problems (we all do right?) but then she MUST leave you and Max alone. Talking about a deceased person in that way is not acceptable. I just lost my aunt recently and also learned that a young teen I have known since he was a baby was dead in a car accident in 2005, his childhood friend was with him and died too. I didn’t know about it and read about it online in a news article. His mom took care of us when we were small and mom was at the hospital giving birth. She cooked food for us and cleaned our apprtment. I just can imagine what you feel sister wolf, I cried a lot for this boy, I remembered him when he was a baby and I cried. I know now that when you see someone when he is a baby you have hard time when he goes. I am not a mom but I just can imagine what it’s like to lose a child. I know some adult I knew died and I didn’t cry that much, sometimes it’s because I didn’t know them well but then again I didn’t know this boy well either, just seeing him outside playing with his friend. I think this girl has problems and usually people who have problems I try to find some compassion in my heart for them because they are lost.
    I am dealing with depression on and off and it’s so hard, I say mean things to my husband sometimes and then I regret it. My husband is dealing with his childhood problems too but refuse to admit that those problems are the cause of his anger.

  63. Sister Wolf Says:

    Candy – Thank you for writing, in the midst of your own problems. All blessings to you and your husband.

  64. Sister Wolf Says:

    Tina – If only your sister-in-law was a troll you could block!

  65. tartandtreacly Says:

    No, because I’m not interested in gratuitous browbeating.

  66. TheShoeGirl Says:

    Sis- I’m so sorry :( This person is a total fucking cunt.

    How do you track IPs like that. I just had a pretty nasty ( though not nearly as bad as this one directed towards you) comment that I’d like to track……

  67. Ann Says:

    Juri, you rock.

  68. WendyB Says:

    You might enjoy this story about troll-outing: http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/01/21/pearlman.online.civility/index.html

    Strange how ordinary they are, eh?

  69. Cricket9 Says:

    OK, so you did something awful, you were called on it and you apologized; then a moment later you did something awful again – to what point exactly?
    Pigs are definitely nicer…

  70. Sister Wolf Says:

    Wendy – Well, not all are “ordinary.’ That one from Dallas is still writing to me to this day, a whole year later. Still taunting me, etc.

    I wouldn’t get excited over someone calling me “retard” like the guy in that story. But people should expect consequences, that’s what we try to teach children.

  71. Kellie Says:

    another idiot.
    Some days, I wonder where they come from. there seems to be an endless supply.
    You dont have to, and are not expected to take that shit.
    Keep outing the fools, they will get the hint.

    love you, meanie pants!!!

  72. Laura Says:

    What the fuck SW!! I’m so upset write now. Here I was trying to understand this bitch, when all along she was evil. I take my comments back!! Why would she dig her own grave even deeper? She should be apologizing not sending you more nasty comments. What a fuckwit! I’m so annoyed at myself for giving her the benefit of the doubt. Erghhh

  73. Andra Says:

    Wendy, I read that article in your link.
    Yes, I can see that a lot of these people are just pathetic
    little people who feel lost and helpless and think that by hitting out (anonymously, because they can) somebody else might feel some of the nothingness that they exist in.
    There is pain in a lot of lives and it can be hard to deal with in a civilized manner, apparently, for some people.
    I don’t know what the answer is but it’s sad.
    Sad, sad, sad.

  74. Sister Wolf Says:

    Andra – Don’t be sad. We have proved that strangers can also bond with love and compassion.

    Kellie – Hahahahaha, xoxoxoxoxoxo

  75. RedHeadFashionista Says:

    I’ve read her apology three times and I don’t comprehend the English. And most of my friends are science students – I know bad English. Suffice to say, I’m out.

  76. Dexter VanDango Says:

    Someone once said, “The practice of Philosophy is the picking of fights with dead people.”

    Perhaps jousting with Internet trolls is bickering with people who haven’t lived yet?

  77. Ruth Says:

    First I want to say it’s tired and I’m late, so I’ve only skimmed the comments and I hope I’m not ignorantly repeating too badly. SW, what she said to you is inexcusable, there is no doubt about that. Personally I’ve come through a horrendous period and can *kind of* empathise with the commenters sentiments. There are many stages to pain and trauma and I can only guess that your commenter is experiencing something awful. I was raped and following the event I experienced immense anger toward strangers, friends and family if they said or did something that I somehow related back to my experience and felt they were personally attacking me, logical or not. The thing I have learnt is that everyone is always going through something shit, but it is always relative – I can’t comprehend losing a child, but someone else can’t comprehend being raped and some people are being tormented by what could seem excruciatingly trivial to you or I. Pain and trauma do awful things to us and make us say (and do) awful things. I guess all we can do is accept and understand that and help each other through the pain. It was very wrong of your commenter to take her anger out on you in such a vile manner, but maybe since her attempt at apologising we could all turn in support of her as well (if that is what she needs), and turn her negative into your positive. Arghhh I hope this kind of makes sense SW, like I said it’s late and I’m typing on my phone. To finish my convoluted tale, my whole thinking on this was brought about by my constant and naturally fruitless quest to find something good in what happened to me, depression and anxiety were taking over, eating disorder was kicking in. Then by chance I saw a different family dr to normal who said to me, maybe the good is yet to come, maybe your experiences can help someone else who is suffering be it from something similar or completely different, you know what it’s like to be balancing on the edge and you are coming back.

  78. Sister Wolf Says:

    Ruth – I know what you mean — I was out of my mind for months with post traumatic stress. I picked fights with people, even in my own family. And I lashed out in anger and pain.

    However! I am a person, not a saint or a concept. I cannot have people attacking me in such a horrible manner. People who use my grief to try to hurt me are beyond my sympathy.

    I do believe in trying to draw on my understanding of trauma and grief to help others. I have written to countless readers who chose to share a personal trauma with me.

    Trolls will have to rehabilitate themselves without any help from me.

    Thank you for writing. xo

  79. Siobhan Says:

    This is just… psychowank – all you said was Rhianna got punched in the face & that you hated her, which she did (not that you hated her BECAUSE she got punched in the face hardy har what a stupid bitch because you would never say such a ridiculous awful thing). Perhaps you were somewhat brusque but I hardly think that deserved such a response. Shit, this is YOUR blog for YOUR thoughts.

    And what in the flying fuck does Max’s death have to do with any of this? I think your openness and honesty about what you’ve been through makes you vulnerable to attacks from total fucking idiots like this, which makes me sad. I’m just angry anyone could be so stupid & callous and just… horrible. But I think this is the best way to deal with it: expose them, out in the open & get people to talk it out.

    xx

  80. thrift store lawyer Says:

    i was shocked by her comment when i first read it. when i saw her (strained) apology, i was sort of impessed. after all, it would have been much easier not to respond, or to say something even more vile. but that’s what she’s done here in the comments. totally unforgivable.

    so, so sorry she did that to you.

  81. Jelly Says:

    @Nats- “If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything” is a universal motto which should be applicable to everyone, regardless of their situation.

    Isn’t slamming anyone and everything the whole point of this blog? Why wouldn’t this girl then be entitled to her opinion? It is a low thing to write about someone who has lost a child but there are many low things that are written about on this blog, yet no one slams Sister Wolf for writing it…

  82. Sister Wolf Says:

    Jelly – Let me be clear. ANY TIME someone writes a comment with a sentence like “It is a low thing to write about someone who has lost a child but”

    THERE IS NO BUT. Why can you not understand that?

    It is the worst thing that can happen to a human being. The worst thing. It is not comparable to any other loss or trauma.

    How dare you make me explain this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Don’t come back.

  83. Erika Says:

    What a nasty little sad person that twit is – no excuse. Sad representation of humanity.

  84. james Says:

    I am so disgusted by her cruel and unforgivable hatred. :( You are in my thoughts, Sister! xox

  85. Iheartfashion Says:

    There’s no excuse. It’s unacceptable, period. If anything, someone who has suffered should be more empathetic to other’s suffering.

  86. Make Do Style Says:

    Jelly – when will you learn to read? And perhaps also engage your brain. I appreciate that I speak the Queen’s English and ‘slamming’ isn’t in my top 1000 words but I’m speculating that you think this blog is about mindless name calling. I suggest you up the meaning of the word discourse.

    Losing a child is the worst thing ever. We all know that even if we can not comprehend it. Lets go back a few stages, the grief, the stress, the loss is unbearable. In this instance there is a licence to behave – however.

    I couldn’t have cared less if SW had come round to scream at me every day and called me all the names under the sun. She could have ‘slammed’ me every which way with verbals.

    Grow up Jelly, get a life or more importantly understand life.

  87. sketch42 Says:

    I wish there was a way to have someone screen the comments before you even get to see them. If it mentions your son, DELETE.

    Its out of line- NO MATTER WHAT. Makes me very very sad.

  88. Tina Says:

    I think I fucking love you. And that’s just after reading your vengeful and witty exchange with none other than “Gene Simmons.” What a cunt!
    Thanks for the post, and the whole blog for that matter.
    I read on…
    - Tina

  89. acd Says:

    I’m confused. I’ve read your beautiful posts about the loss of your son and I am sorry for your loss. I know firsthand about addiction and suicidal ideation and other issues you touch upon. I will never know your loss. I wish you courage moving forward.

    However: this is a blog. You allow any and everyone to comment. Anyone who’s been on the Internet for more than a month understands that malicious trolls will be malicious trolls. Either disallow anonymous commenters via a registration or something of the sort…or expect the occasional randoid from Mexico.

    But after she offered her naive apology… what else is there to do? It’s the Internet. You have waves of support and you single out this random hurting person who just acknowledged that she behaved stupidly? I’m befuddled.

  90. Sister Wolf Says:

    acd – Please: I have stated that it’s unacceptable to begin a comment with “Sorry your son died but…”

    But nothing. Stay befuddled. You are beyond my help. Just take your business elsewhere.

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