As if.

These metallic pants would look great with ________________.

Sass & Bide, $561 at shopbop.

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52 Responses to “As if.”

  1. Sam Says:

    A matching throw rug and some scatter cushions?

  2. Kelly Says:

    Not with but on—Victoria Beckham.

  3. Sheri Says:

    My eyes closed.

  4. Sheri Says:

    Never mind it. Still there. Crap.

  5. Ann Says:

    A gold plated curtain rod and royal blue plush carpeting.

  6. Rackk and Ruin Says:

    are these for the delusional women who think they need to look like they have j.lo or that kardashian girl’s rump? Nobody could pay me to wear a pair of pants that make me look bigger and lumpier than i already am!

  7. Sista Coyote Says:

    a matching jacket, top hat, cane, and BoBo the clown wig.

  8. dana Says:


  9. Aja Says:

    I like how it makes a curtain around your ass as if there’s some sort of masterpiece lurking underneath there.

  10. Layers&Swathes Says:

    Have you ever considered becoming a buyer? You could have your own website called

    Those metallic pants should be worn with a rose gold tooth grill and matching rose gold medallions.

  11. Dru Says:

    flames licking at the fabric, ready to kill them with fire (preferably when there isn’t an actual wearer inside them).

  12. maura Says:

    the class of nicki minaj.

  13. candy Says:

    This “the man behind the curtain” pants look like labias sorry but they look so weird. I guess they would look nice with a huge tampon…I don’t like to talk like that but this is what came to mind.

  14. Juli Says:

    a lobotomy.

  15. Joy Says:

    most of us would pay good money to lose the saddle bags and cellulite between our thighs….now you can pay to have it in any color and sheen you want!

  16. Bevitron Says:

    Pasties, a veil, and a flying carpet.

  17. Suspended Says:

    …Liberace on piano while Crystal Carrington and Alexis Colby pull each others hair out in the background.

  18. Marky Says:

    Oh, my.

  19. Make Do Style Says:

    I’m with Suspended – it can be the only proper setting.

  20. Sister Wolf Says:

    HAAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, I can’t stop laughing,

  21. Sister Wolf Says:

    Aja – The “masterpiece” is killing me hahahahaha

  22. Debbie Says:

    a membership card to a harem.

  23. Nicole Says:

    The material around the thighs looks like the scene from “The Shining” with the dead woman in the bathtub. Nightmares for the next two weeks. Thanks alot!!!

  24. Andra Says:

    Well, I was going to say a lobotomy but Juli beat me to it.
    Let’s go with the aforementioned lobotomy and poke out both eyes with a wooden stick.
    That ought to do it.
    Of course, you could still feel the damned pants and you would just know something wasn’t right.
    Poor Goony, she would be better off serving at McDonald’s. Not so many people would laugh at her.

  25. Cricket9 Says:

    The inspiration for the pants was an old theatre in Warsaw – same artfully draped curtains, not skimping on the acreage, but nicer fabric – burgundy velvet. I wonder what kind of sound do they make when you walk?

  26. Sister Wolf Says:


  27. Kellie Says:

    I just looked at these and thought “oh fuck off, this isnt fashion, they are having a laugh”

    I bet Sea likes them though.

  28. Elaine Says:

    JUICY on the butt in rhinestones and glitter

  29. Tina Says:

    WHO BUYS THIS SHIT????????????

  30. james Says:

    a baby phat hoodie, strappy 2″ mule sandals with diamond straps, ed hardy bag

  31. dust Says:

    full bladder?

  32. Sister Wolf Says:

    James – Hired!

  33. Devin Says:

    Brenda Dickson in her “welcome to my home” video. And some orange contour blush.

  34. jlynn Says:


  35. Suspended Says:

    I only just realised that there is a concealed zip running down the butt seam. That definitely makes for a bit of theatre in the removal process.

  36. SummerAdeline Says:

    A lot lizard…

  37. Brittany Says:

    This reasonably priced pajama shirt, duh.

  38. Sister Wolf Says:

    Suspended – Hahahahahahahhahaaahaaahahahhahahahha!

  39. Sister Wolf Says:

    Brittany – Jesus! They must be out of their minds!

  40. Jaimi Says:

    This bodycon dress with Steve Buscemi’s face printed on BOTH SIDES:

  41. Elena Abaroa Says:

    I´ve just seen this book and I´m freaking out, I thought of you:

    Who would spend money in a book to get “fashion advices” from Sea of shoes???? This is crazy…

  42. Cricket9 Says:

    Yep, Steve Buscemi’s face on my boobs -that’s definitely it!

  43. Taylor Says:

    I saw this and though “gilded diaper statue,” IDK why though.

  44. TheShoeGirl Says:

    I LOVE these pants! Flesh toned yet metallic? Magical.


  45. annemarie Says:

    If I saw someone wearing these, I would think that they used to be obese and they’re now waiting for the excess skin removal operation.

  46. annemarie Says:

    Why must all of my comments await moderation?

  47. Suspended Says:

    Jaimi, that is terrifying! Seriously! Imagine if the model were the exact shade of Buscemi….it would be soooo weird.

    Annemarie, you just made me feel sick. I’m now picturing a gastric band weaving in and out of the belt loops.

  48. Beannie71 Says:


  49. RLC Says:

  50. sisty Says:

    ….with the top half of Jaime Gumm’s human skin suit from Silence of the Lambs.

  51. Suebob Says:

    @annemarie I thought it looked like the victim of a terrible fire, but I think you’re closer.

  52. Andra Says:

    Are they on backwards?

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