God Damn That Stupid Dr. Phil!

I have always hated Dr. Phil, even without seeing his show. It’s just unconscious knowledge that he is a jerk.

This week, everyone on TV is talking about him because of his interview with Casey Anthony‘s parents.   He’s been pimping his show with the Anthonys everywhere. And in one discussion, he agreed that the Anthonys had “a menagerie of excuses” for their daughter’s conduct.

ENGLISH,   MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?

Menagerie is a collection of animals, you fucking idiot Dr. Phil! You can find some online dictionaries that say you can also use it to mean a diverse group of things, BUT YOU CAN”T BECAUSE IT MEANS ANIMALS.

Words matter, remember?

Have you heard anyone  misuse  a word recently but you couldn’t kill them? Feel free to share your pain.

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60 Responses to “God Damn That Stupid Dr. Phil!”

  1. alicia Says:

    He’s not a real doctor. That’s why I like Dr. Oz. Plus, Dr. Oz gives you tips on eating healthy and which household remedies not to use.

    I’m constantly irked by the misuse of the word “infamous” by bloggers. I’ve addressed it multiple times and am now on the verge of acting like the Word Police by leaving definitions in the comments.

  2. katie Says:

    Agree with infamous, adding atypical when trying to say something is typical.

    Maybe he did mean menagerie though. I imagine the excuses to be:

    “Her dog ate the police report she meant to file.”
    “She was going to call the police but then her cat threw up and she forgot.”
    “See, she has this pet ferret and it ate through her phone line.”
    “Her house lion ate all her fingers and they had to be surgically reattached and by the time she got her fingers back the mad cow disease she picked up from Bessie made her forget that she hadn’t yet reported her daughter missing.”

  3. Dru Says:

    Cache when they really mean cachet. The former is what stores things on the internet after you delete shit. It is NOT a stand-in word for approval/validation/whatever you get by being associated with cool things.

    Another one that hurts my ears is “anyways”. WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR BEING THE FIRST-MOVER BEHIND THIS ABOMINATION AND PLEASE CAN I KILL THEM AAARRRRGH.

  4. DCD Says:

    “Abdicate” for “articulate”, and I’m not kidding.

  5. Rackk and Ruin Says:

    I’m guessing he meant to say “myriad” instead of “menagerie” . . . that would make a lot more sense. I hate bag english and improper use of words, especially when it’s obvious the person is just using words they think will make them sound more intelligent. My Dad was a total stickler for proper english when i was younger so i always perk up when i hear people say things like “Me and Molly went to the store.” it’s “Molly and I went to the store” stupid!

  6. Winterbird Says:

    I SEEN IT …makes me homicidal.

  7. Chip Smith Says:

    Do phrases count? Every time I hear someone say “he graduated college” (omitting “from”), a little part of me dies. See:

    http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/graduated-from.aspx

    Do pronunciations count? Every time I hear someone pronounce the “t” in “often,” I reach for my gun. See:

    http://www.alphadictionary.com/articles/mispronounced_words.html

  8. Marky Says:

    Weren’t you with me on Robertson once when we saw him and his ex-wife loudly and animatedly arguing at lunch? He was bellowing. He’s a bottom-feeder.

    Recent misuse I’ve heard about: A headmaster/headmistress of a private school in Tennessee used ‘niche’ instead of ‘clique’.

  9. Ixil Says:

    regime for regimen … hear it all the time. drives me crazy.

  10. Ann Says:

    I know someone who uses the phrase “divide and concur” instead of “divide and conquer.” I cannot describe the rage that fills my soul when I hear it spoken, or worse, when I see it written in an email.

  11. erika Says:

    “in spite of” when they mean “despite”. If you do something “in spite of” someone else, you’re doing it to provoke (spite) them.

  12. Romeo Says:

    “Divide and concur.” ROFL!

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Stop-using-the-phrase-at-the-end-of-the-day/141227355936831

  13. nom Says:

    He (or his male writers) probably thought it was a “sexy” word. Because Casey is “sexy”. And he’s sexing up his show. And Menagerie sounds ever so slightly like ménage à trois, something male writers can’t quite get over. But as a shrink, he should be ever so slightly more self-aware.

  14. annemarie Says:

    I thought it was funny the first time I saw the phrase “I could care less” in print. Then I saw it everywhere. It’s amazing to me that a person who had enough brain to learn the alphabet and sufficiently corral their motor skills into writing can write that sentence and think it makes sense.

    I generally like it when people fuck with language on purpose, but when thoughtless drivel is allowed roll of the tongue/pen unchecked, there should be public floggings.

  15. annemarie Says:

    What do you think of Dr. Drew?

  16. patni Says:

    There is a cafeteria in the basement of my building, mostly for the seniors.
    They send round a menu sometimes, and frequently mention “a melody of vegetables” . It doesn’t really make me mad, but it makes me choke with laughter.

  17. Suspended Says:

    I’m with Annemarie on that one. It drives me mad. It seems to be most prevalent stateside.

    I’m tired of seeing ‘loose’ when someone actually means ‘lose.’

    I still hear people saying Pacific when they mean Specific. Why???

    Brought instead of Bought. Seems to be a very English mistake.

    My ultimate right now is Set of Draws….they are fucking Drawers!!! They have always been Drawers!!! There is no such thing as a Chest of Draws you moronic shit brain.

    It’s not that I want to find any understanding but a lot of these errors seem to be down to dialect.

  18. Han Says:

    I’m with annemarie. I can’t stand it when people say “I could care less” when they mean “I couldn’t care less”

    AGGGRAVATING!

  19. annemarie Says:

    Holy god, Chip Smith’s link to the list of mispronunciations is shocking. I am guilty of so many of them!! I’ve been saying “larnyx” my whole life instead of “larynx.” And that’s just one example!

    I am humbled and ashamed.

    I feel like how I did when I was a child and realized that I supposed to say Chicago not Chicargo. So mortified. I was supposed to be the smart one.

    To this day, I occasionally pronounce the “h” in heirloom. If someone notices, I accuse them of being bourgeois assholes who actually have in their possession such things as family heirlooms, which is the only reason why they can pronounce it and I can’t.

    Of course, this is bullshit. I just hate looking stupid.

  20. Andra Says:

    All of the above.

    “Very unique.”

    And heaps more.

    The reply “I’m good” when someone enquires after your health. Goodness had nothing to do with it, as Mae West once said.
    You are either well or fine or shithouse. Whatever but you ain’t “good.”

  21. patni Says:

    irregardless, for all intensive purposes, and the proof is in the pudding.

  22. Sista Coyote Says:

    I hate when people say, “I’ve known her since I’m eight years old” or anything similar. “I’ve known her since I was eight years old” sounds better. I also hate when people call shoes “it”. I tried a pair of shoes today and it was too small. Ugh. Shoes=plural, so use they.

  23. annemarie Says:

    The proof is in the pudding… that’s wrong?

  24. Sister Wolf Says:

    nom – Hahahahahahahaaahhahaha

    RackkandRuin – How about when celebrities on TV say “My wife and myself…” because they think it sounds more intelligent than just saying “I?”

  25. Sister Wolf Says:

    Chip – That’s a fun link! I like “for all intensive purposes.” Hahahaaha.

    annemaire- Dr Drew is a shameless whore. I hate that fucker more than anybody, even that horrible Piers Anthony.

    Andra – Yes, I don’t like “I’m good” either. But when people answer “I’m well,” I feel like they’re showing off and hate them for it.

  26. Sister Wolf Says:

    Sista Coyote – That “I’m” thing always sounds kind of New York or mobster or something. I hate that one, too.

  27. Sister Wolf Says:

    patni – Isn’t the proof in the pudding?? Where is it, then??

  28. Aja Says:

    I’m with you on the Dr. Phil dislike. I remember one show where he had a family where the son had been sexually abusing the daughter. IT WAS HORRIBLY INAPPROPRIATE. Shame on the family for going on that show. Shame on Dr. Phil for hosting it. Some things aren’t for a television audience, regardless of what people think.

  29. kirsten Says:

    This may not even count but I could actually commit mass murder when people say “cheeky” out of context. “Let’s grab a cheeky curry.”
    FOR REAL?
    Also “peek” and “peak” are NEVER correct. Even the most eloquent bloggers make this mistake, ofTEN

  30. thrift store lawyer Says:

    Admittedly, by pointing this out, I am picking on someone with less education. But I know of a defendant who, upon his arrest, proclaimed to police, “You ain’t got no tropical cause!”

    Snort.

    Otherwise, I love everything annemarie wrote. Plus “could of,” “had to of,” etc. As in, “You had to of been crazy to pass up that shoe sale. You could of saved 70 percent!” It made my skin crawl just to write that.

  31. Bevitron Says:

    I’m glad so many people hate Dr. Phil. I have always thought he’s a sanctimonius, judgmental asshole. I hate him almost as much as I hated Dr. Laura. I’d love to see one of his TV victims slap that old blowhard down. His overly folksy “that dawg don’t hunt” accent annoys the shit out of me, too.

  32. patni Says:

    The proof of the pudding is in the eating. The proof of whether a pudding is good or not, is whether it tastes good or not.
    The proof is not hidden in the pudding.

  33. patni Says:

    I have a LOT of word usage irritants. I work in an ice cream store. We have an ice cream made from chocolate that came from Belgium, so we call it Belgian chocolate. Our customers however, see Belgian, and call it Belgium chocolate. grrrrrrrrrrrrr

    The expresso thing used to bug me, till i got harangued by one too many espresso nerds with no sense of humor that i should stand on one leg and meditate on a blade of grass on a certain hill in Tuscany while I am pulling a shot. Now I call is IX presso. proudly. It riles the coffee nerds.

    One of my customer kindly pointed out that skim milk is not skim, it is skimmed. Now that irks me too.
    Far too many to list, and if i started to think about it my already cranky morning brain would burst.

    I just wish people would think before they spoke.

  34. Alicia Says:

    You and dudeguy could talk about this shit for HOURS – he yells at every incident of poor speech on television. The overuse/misuse of “literally” usually brings about the highest level of irritation.

  35. style odyssey Says:

    Very unique
    Misuse of its and it’s
    Misuse of epic
    I done it or I seen it
    I could care less

    There are many more but I’ll stop at these few.

  36. Sister Wolf Says:

    Bevitron- Oh yes, he’s easily as bad as Dr. Laura. He’s a total whore, trying to insert himself everywhere..remember how he tried to get involved with Britney during her breakdown? He’s just a horrible pig.

    Patni – The pudding is too complicated for me! Pudding is dead to me now.

    Alicia – I’ve given up on literally. Tell him that I nearly destroyed a family relationship over literally. Literally!

  37. kt Says:

    Would it be appropriate to say that Dr. Phil plus the Anthonys are in whole a menagerie that deserve to live in a barn somewhere away from the general public?

  38. Cricket9 Says:

    How about recent TV ads about Ontario food products: “you can buy The Good”, and Clamato juice: “You can taste The Different”. I get toothache each time I hear this nonsense. People who can’t distinguish “palette” from “palate” are infuriating.
    I got an email at work with the wonderful question: “WHOM is going to do it?”

  39. Debbie Says:

    My husband calls Dr. Phil Dr. Philogna. My favorite story about not using the correct word was when we were having a landscape consultation years ago with a designer and he was giving us a tour of the nursery and explaining different plants and how they would be used in the design. He kept saying “this plant will meangle” and this plant will be a vocal point”.
    I used to work at a store that sold sconces. People would always refer to them as scones.

  40. kate Says:

    i feel for the people who are irritated by “could of,” but unfortunately that is how many people speak these days. it is pretty acceptable speech now. however, this “literally” business needs to stop. “i was dead. like, literally dead.” i remember when “literally” was a word you used when you accidentally made a pun. you got to say, “literally, in fact!” because your words could be taken two ways, and both would be correct in this very specific situation. those days are dead. like, literally dead.

  41. Marky Says:

    “Between you and I…”

  42. Andra Says:

    Ah, Debbie, I know what you mean. And you made me laugh. Thank you.

    How about people, books, etc. who/which don’t know the difference between – rang – rung: shrank – shrunk, etc.
    i.e. “I rung them up.”

    “Honey, I shrunk the kids.” They made a fucking movie about this and caused untold millions of idiots to think it is correct English. Wrong, wrong, wrong, fuckwits!!

    Why “dove” for the past tense of dive? We, the English-speaking peoples of the world, are happy to say dived. I don’t like “dove” unless you’re a bird.

    Americans are too lazy to spell properly too.

    However, in the interests of world harmony I am willing to overlook a lot of crap and just niggle about the shit that really, really annoys me.

    I suggest the rest of the world does the same thing.

    I am now waving two fingers in the area in the general area of the screen.

  43. Beannie71 Says:

    Baby boomers’ redundant use of ‘that’ like teenagers use ‘like’ drives me bonkers. Case in point the Tom Hank’s movie ‘That thing you do’.

    Nothing is identified by the conjunctive ‘that’. It should be ‘The thing you do’. If not call it ‘That thing you like do’ and just give up.

  44. kate Says:

    i pretty sure ‘dove’ is the past tense of ‘dive.’

  45. Alicia Says:

    HA!! He laughed when I read him your comment.

  46. Andra Says:

    Kate: only in America.

  47. Julie Says:

    I’m so glad others are enraged by spelling/grammar/pronunciation mistakes! I don’t feel so alone now in my pedantry.

    Agree with everything above, ESPECIALLY ‘the proof is in the pudding’. I become tearful with rage and disappointment when people choose to keep using this phrase, even once they know the correct version.

    Also:
    Irregardless
    Supposably

    And I’ve noticed the following gems cropping up writing:

    prefix menu instead of prix fixe

    crapes instead of crepes.

    And the worst of all: wala instead of voila.

  48. Julie Says:

    People who abbreviate conversation to convo and restaurant to resto.

    Kill them now, please.

  49. Suspended Says:

    Oh Julie,

    I temporarily forgot about that one “And the worst of all: wala instead of voila.”

    Now my happy mood has turned very sour. “Wala” gives me ulcers.

  50. Cat Says:

    People who confuse “you’re” with “your” drive me mad. Also, “it’s” and “its” in all the wrong places… THAT SHIT IS EVERYWHERE! Including on an ad that is hanging on the back of the door of the washroom where I have to pee every day at work. It is about 5 inches from my head and I have nowhere else to look. AAAAARRRGHHHHHH. Its all over facebook statuses, text messages and emails. It’s not so hard people, GET IT RIGHT.

  51. Cat Says:

    @annemarie: AHAHAHAHAHA I almost pissed my pants with the larnyx thing, that’s hilarious! I’ve never heard that before but I bet you that now it’ll start coming up everywhere.

    kate, I really hope you are wrong about “could of” being acceptable speech. Jesus! I only recently found out that people did that and I was speechless… HOW?!?!

  52. Sister Wolf Says:

    Aja – Nothing is too low for that bastard.

  53. Sister Wolf Says:

    Debbie – I LOVE ‘vocal point.’

    Cricket9 – This gave me chills: ‘You can taste the different.’

    Julie and Suspended – People actually say ‘walla?!?”

  54. Hammie Says:

    I just got an Anonymous blog comment on my post “Mummy Time” asking if I was wrapped in bandages and living in an Egyptian Tomb. Please tell me that the majority of Americans do realise that there are other dialects?!?

  55. Karin Says:

    One of the oddest/funniest ones I’ve heard recently was when one of my favorite people in the world, who is known for her misuse of the english language, used the word “travesty” instead of “tragedy” when referring to 9/11. I cringed.
    I agree with all of the above, especially “supposably” and “anyways”. Hate the misuse of the word “myself”. Many people seem to think that word is just a fancier way of saying “I”! Don’t get me started on stupid things like “they’re”, “their”, and “there”. And then there is grammar…
    Sorry, too much stupid for one day!

  56. Julie Says:

    SW – I’m afraid so; I’ve seen ‘wala’ more than once.

    There’s a lot of ignorance around the spelling and pronunciation of French words, I find.
    Here’s one that’s haunted me for nigh on twenty years. My boss sent the team a memo in which she wrote that we were for the ‘gillateen’ if targets weren’t met.
    Gillateen. Could’ve gone with chop. She went with gillateen.

    Another annoyance is when people insert ‘go ahead’ unnecessarily into sentences.

    “(Go ahead and) Take a seat over there.”
    “I (went ahead and) told him to go to hell.”

    ‘Turned around’ is another one.

    “I turned around and said that she didn’t know what she was talking about.”
    “She turned around and said I could leave early if I had finished all my assignments.”

    I turned around, she turned around, they all turned around. Are these people spinning like fucking tops or what?

  57. Julie Says:

    I loathe people who overuse emoticons, but a special circle of hell is reserved for those who type out the words “happy face” or “sad face”.

    “I didn’t get what I wanted for my birthday, even though I’m an adult. Sad face.”

  58. Julie Says:

    Writing ‘yanno’ instead of ‘you know’.

  59. Ur an idiot Says:

    Your a fuckan moron cuz your trying to hard to make him look like an idiot it sounds like you jus sit there and watch his show to look for reasons he’s a idiot. Which I think he’s a complete fuckan retard and if I’d see him I’d punch him in te fuckan face. The real reason he’s an idiot is cuz he doesn’t help and just criticizes people, THAT’S ALL. Like did you see the one about the flasher, he was smart and trying to get over it and Dr. Dick kept telling him how wrong it is…and he’s like I know but at the time..and he keeps interrupting him SAY IT’S WRONG! Then the girl who got kidnaped for a decade he couldn’t help or say anything about!!

  60. Monica Says:

    Oh fuck. Thank you for asking. First, thank you for another hysterically funny entry on shit that must be said.

    This shit pisses me off: “I seen” (I seen you at the trailer park), “A whole nother” (when I seen you at the trailer park with my boo, it took consummate betrayal to a whole nother level), “to the fullest” (It’s my life and I wanna live it to the fullest), expecially (I was expecially pissed when I found out I was pregnant two weeks after group sex) and “mute point”. I have no way to use this as an example. Perhaps you can help?

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