Colors!

A company called SRANGEBEAUTIFUL has come up with some sets of nail polish designed to appeal to the Proustian-minded among us.

“….a range of 10 diaphanous veils of wildly haunting colors with inspiration ranging from the vampiric gradations of a healing bruise; the moody rusts of menstrual blood; sooty, phantasmal India ink; the profile of a gray blue Heron scooping fish against a background of gooey river runoff and the apocalyptic color palette of Medieval Flemish paintings. Visceral and private, each shade cloaks the finger in an aqueous film of color for an effect that is strange, beautiful, and impossible to forget.”

Hahahahaha! Isn’t that fantastic???? Other sets are avilable, each absurdly pretentious.

I like how this set includes the color “Menstrual Last Day.” Hopefully they have “First Day of Menstruation” in one of the other sets.

I love colors and the names for colors. I loved my box of crayola crayons as much for the names as the actual colors. When Max was little, we deferred to his acute appreciation of color by showing him something of indeterminate hue and asking him, “What do you call this color, Max?” He would take a moment to consider and say something like, “I call it tan.”

In the spirit of STRANGEBEAUTIFUL, I want to invent my own set of nail polish colors:

Cubism
Gruyere
Still Spotting
Hep C
Wittgenstein
Virgin Birth
Mishima Cultist Coral
Clogged Drain
Hypothermia Blue

Have a look at the nail polish here.   $85 per set.

And contribute your own colors if you are so inclined!

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39 Responses to “Colors!”

  1. JK Says:

    Whatever that color is in the lowlights of the hair just after 1:55.

    Don’t think it’d be called blonde though.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eJmYKN_1QE

  2. Eurasian Says:

    My favorite is clogged drain which I think will compliment a hole in my bathroom ceiling (not kidding) that my landlord butchered couple of days ago because of the upstairs leak, which all started with a…. clogged drain.

  3. Bevitron Says:

    Eschar
    Migraine Aura
    God Particle
    Plateau Pink
    Clam Chowder
    Toccata
    Skidmarks
    Eminence Grise

  4. Sister Wolf Says:

    Bevitron – Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  5. Dave C Says:

    I think I’d buy pretty much ANYTHING called ‘Mishima Cultist Coral’…

  6. Ann Says:

    Bevitron – SKIDMARKS

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAAA

  7. Mo in KCMO Says:

    Sis and Bevitron et al! What a festive, cheery post for this holiday season! Laughing my boughs off! What about that color in the old Crayola box called “flesh”. It deserves a place of honor. Happy holidays, y’all. Mo

  8. Sheri Says:

    Ugh. I absolutely hate it when you can, as my husband says, “smell the oil of the lamp” in the descriptions of products. Why not just say you need this stuff to be happy?

    Maybe they’re doing it on purpose, in which case they should just use names like Pretentious Pink, Bitchin’ Blue, Really Red, Not Really Red (handy, actually, as you could use this one for just about any non-red item), etc.?

    Oh, and, still laughing over Still Spotting and Clogged Drain.

  9. ali Says:

    wow. you are on a roll.

    !!!!!!!!!!!

    this is almost as exciting as when we were all Sea of Jane haterz

  10. Julia Says:

    Why do these people use several words I’ve never heard in their description of fucking nail polish? English is not my native language, but damn it!

    Here’s a blog for you to hate if you want to. I’ll link you to one divine higlight of a post. It’s actually a reader submission, but it’s also the dumbest shit I’ve come across today:
    http://www.imboycrazy.com/2011/11/reader-submission-a-high-school-girl-and-her-teacher/

    I really like your blog. Happy holidays!

  11. Bevitron Says:

    Ooooo, it’s fun!
    Let’s see,

    Espadrille
    Discharge
    Omelette
    Redshift
    Tao Te Bling
    Fugue You
    Night Train
    Johnson

    And, uh…nah, that’s all I got.

  12. dana Says:

    Aaugh! I’m such a lemming. I might’ve gone for them but for the menstrual blood.

  13. KR Says:

    Ashtray
    Constructivism
    Streetcar Accident
    Veal
    Hematoma
    Franzia Vomit
    Gun

    Also, Sister Wolf and Bevitron are geniuses.

  14. Sister Wolf Says:

    KR – Hahahahahahhahahahaha! (just almost choked to death at “Constructivism)

  15. Beannie71 Says:

    I think calling polish particuliere is a little too much even for the French. My lovely hungarian friend Zsa Zsa (not her real name) counters by calling the beige pink or grey nail polish colours ‘anus’.

  16. sulky kitten Says:

    Pus
    Existentialism
    Fungus
    Knifewound
    Dogshit
    Crisis
    Morgue
    Aspartame

  17. sisty Says:

    hahaha! I love “Veal.”

    Melanoma
    Nietzsche
    Soft Santorum
    Incisor
    Bleached Anus (apologies to Beannie)
    Babaganouj
    Shame
    Grand Mal

  18. Andra Says:

    And then there’s

    Halucination Puce
    Footrot Violet
    Sacrificial Red
    Everglade Green
    Woodrot White
    Decomposing Grey
    Bathtub scum Beige

  19. Stella Mayfair Says:

    i want wittgenstein and fugue you, please!

  20. Cricket9 Says:

    Just love “Knifewound”!
    How about:
    Razor Burn
    Medium Rare
    Dirty Snow Grey
    Spit
    Dried Twig
    Roadkill

  21. Sister Wolf Says:

    Sisty – I love “veal” too!

    sulky kitten -Hahahahahahahaahahahha!

    sisty – Hahahahahaahahhahaahhaha, hahahahahahahhaha!

    Andra – Sacrificial REd, I can’t believe they didn’t have that one! Hahahaahhaaha!

    Cricket 9 – Hahahahahahahahahhaa! You can have Fresh Roadkill AND Weathered Roadkill.

  22. KR Says:

    I want “Crisis”, “Babaganouj”, and “Hallucination Puce”!! Didn’t some bloggers come out with polishes named “Weed” and “Jizz” a while back?
    This all just reminds me of an eyeshadow shade I have – “Asphyxia”

    Anyway, I thought of more.

    Wet Spot
    Gristle
    Capitalism
    Impacted Molar
    Pink Mold
    Clot

  23. ali Says:

    quality assurance gray
    fingernail crud puce
    hipster blah blue
    wine lips
    witchy tavi
    vintage seashell
    cracked leather
    burn victim
    gummy bear vomit
    zeitgeist pear

  24. ali Says:

    spittle

  25. Bevitron Says:

    I know someone whose house I would like to have painted in Virgin Birth, Morgue, Spit, Gun, and Clot. I think Grand Mal for the dining room.

  26. Bevitron Says:

    I’m sorry, I can’t stop myself –

    Pit
    Ishmael
    Anathema

  27. dana Says:

    Greywater
    Earwax
    Trepidation

    You are all geniuses. Lol

  28. Sister Wolf Says:

    OH GOD, i can’t stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  29. Sister Wolf Says:

    hahahahahahahahha!

  30. Bevitron Says:

    I absolutely promise this is my last. How could I leave out

    Cunt

  31. Sister Wolf Says:

    Bevitron – and just now, I was thinking “smegma.”

  32. Desiree Says:

    Sink Gunge
    Rat Hole
    Foecal Compaction
    Slapped Arse
    Face Like a Bag of Hammers
    Carbuncle
    Blackhead

    Thanks Sister, I feel so much better now:) x

  33. dexter vandango Says:

    Names for nail polish? These ought to be obvious..

    Avarice

    G.O.P. (Greedy Odious Polish)

    Cat Scratch Fever

    Talon Tope

    Snot Spade

    Jealous Girlfriend Green

    Lavender Leprosy

  34. Sister Wolf Says:

    Desiree – I was just mentally starting a list with carbuncle.

  35. Sister Wolf Says:

    Bunion
    Typhoid
    Godel’s Theorems
    Placenta
    Seedling
    Fennell
    Eucharist
    Tar

  36. Sister Wolf Says:

    Ali – I just noticed Quality Assurance Gray – hahahahahahahahahhahaha!

  37. Andra Says:

    Afterbirth.

  38. ali Says:

    this is AWESOME!!!!

  39. Suspended Says:

    Mug Ring
    DVD
    Remotely Buttered
    Faint Blunder
    Pinkish Prolapse
    Lonely Lego
    Shrunken Drunk
    Gourmandise deceased
    Ingrown Green
    Super Impotence
    Crumb
    Festive Fisting
    George Hamilton

    ….Merry Whatever, everyone!

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