Parsing the Hate

If you’ve been following the Republican debates, you have been amused, nauseated, and enraged. You have probably shifted in your ranking of which candidate is the stupidest or most repugnant. It’s almost like watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: You think Camille is the biggest cunt but wait, it’s Kyle!

I hate Mitt Romney. I really fucking hate him. I can’t stand his repressed anger and his conman demeanor. The thought of Mitt  Romney  as President is horrifying.

Newt is a bastard, Perry’s a moron, Santorum is a douche, Ron Paul is nuts and Jon Huntsman is just clueless (or he wouldn’t keep reminding people that he speaks Chinese.)

I am asking because I genuinely want to know: Which contender do you hate the most, and why?

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29 Responses to “Parsing the Hate”

  1. littlebadwolf Says:

    ron paul, because he has the longest and dirtiest record of bigotry. the whole charade is sort of like ‘desperate housewives of vatican city’.
    pheh!

  2. Muffy Says:

    Rick Perry….for the first time in my life I am ashamed to be a Texan….

  3. mimi Says:

    they’re all pretty despicable, but i think huntsman is the most harmless.
    im not american, but i truly sympathise with you if one of these boneheads ends up as your president.

    we dont have them much better in australia, but they are slightly less overtly conservative.

  4. annemarie Says:

    Santorum today.

  5. honeypants Says:

    It’s way too hard to decide! I want it to be Santorum for having that constant look of confused disgust on his face and for wanting to outlaw ALL FORMS OF BIRTH CONTROL. But I want it to be Perry for being such a smug f*ing “Christian.” Newt is the most hypocritical asshole ever to walk the face of the planet. Maybe I’ve avoided enough Mitt & Ron to hate them as much (not that I LIKE them, mind you). And while Hunstman does seem the least of many evils, he *still* wears magic underwear. At least ol’ Crazy Eyes dropped out!

  6. O D Y S S E Y Says:

    I am not a fan of Romney. No….just…no. Agree 100% with you on his conman demeanor, repressed anger. He’s got that slick politician thing going on and it’s amped up to the ninth degree.

  7. Ann Says:

    It’s so hard to tell who I hate more. Much like you, ma haine dure. I will list them, in the order of most hated to least hated:

    Perry
    Santorum
    Romney
    Paul
    Gingrich
    Huntsman

    Wow, that exercise was harder than I thought it’d be. I was going to explain what I hated about each of them, until I realized I the only words I was using were bigot, racist, ignorant, dangerous and liar.

  8. R Says:

    It’s so cartoonish to me that I’m waiting for Sasha Baron Cohen or Banksy to come forth and take credit for this shit.

  9. kate Says:

    i don’t follow the debates. my blood pressure couldn’t take it. but santorum with his “blah people” and “i love my wife, so only she can have an abortion” comments make me physically ill and angry.

  10. Tallulah Eulallie Says:

    Newt. Any man who would divorce his wife when she’s in the hospital being treated for cancer is slime. As my sainted mother says, “They ought to sit his ass on a stump, nail his balls down, and shove him off backward.” God, I love my mom!

  11. Andra Says:

    Tallulah honey, I’ve missed y’all.
    Your momma is a legend!

  12. gretchen Says:

    They are all terrifying with their EXTREME beliefs – and I have such a difficult time believing that people actually eat up all the baloney they dish out. Mitt will probably win the race because he wears magical morman underwear that give him super-stupider-powers.

  13. Debbie Says:

    1. Newt. He’s a lying, arrogant, narcissistic turd and according to him, I’m out of a job because I’m lazy. I’m out of a job because I was laid off before Thanksgiving and it’s the third time since 2008. I’m in my mid-50′s and let me tell you, finding a job is MORE DIFFICULT than this bastard will ever know. Last time I was unemployed for two years. Horrible.
    2. Mitt Romney. Mr. Perfect whose father (I just learned) was born in Mexico … this makes Mitt an anchor-baby HA!
    3. Santorum. I’m a Catholic too but I’m not crazy. And religion has NO BUSINESS in politics. He’s one of those idiots who pontificates his religious beliefs but who in time we’ll all learn has a chick on the side.
    4. Ron Paul. Believe it or not, I like him. He speaks his truth and doesn’t sway from his core beliefs even though everyone else thinks he’s a looney. I kinda of respect that.
    5. Huntsman. He seems like a smart guy but in the worlds of my old man, I’LL NEVER VOTE REPUBLICAN!

    SMOOCHES!

  14. Debbie Says:

    OH, and Rick Perry is just plain ol stupid.

  15. Ben Says:

    Brandy’s the biggest cunt

  16. Sister Wolf Says:

    Ann – You hate Ron Paul more than Gingrich? I kind of like Ron Paul, although he is a racist lunatic. His libertarian beliefs seem so heartfelt and genuine.

    R – Ha, if only. It does have a surreal quality. Maybe Herman Cain was actually Sasha Baron Cohen!

  17. Sister Wolf Says:

    Honeypants – I can’t believe in Perry’s Christianity. He looks too stupid to even spell it.

  18. Johnners Says:

    I’ve only heard of Romney and Santorum, so on that basis Santorum. I’m not ashamed of my ignorance, I’ve quite enough utter twats to keep track of in the UK to be able to spend any more time on yours.

  19. Dave C Says:

    Reading this blog is an education – I’d never heard of Magic Mormon Underwear before! Thanks!

  20. Ann Says:

    At least Gingrich is smart. Paul is too, but the carefully hidden racism is more than I can stand.

  21. David Duff Says:

    When I consider the alternative, I love them all!

  22. Heidi Says:

    It’s a dead heat between Perry (who’s such a horrid glib and cruel closeted frat boy 10 times worse than that fuck Bush) and Gingrich, who is an all around nasty person through and through.

  23. Andra Says:

    Oh Duff, really!

  24. Annie Says:

    I hate them all pretty equally. But unfortunately, I hate obama nearly as much, for being a lying two-faced facist dictator in disguise. Signing that bill that takes away more of our civil rights should have convinced you that he is absolutely as bad as any Repub candidate.

    Anyone who thinks Gingrich is “smart” is showing how really fucking stupid they are. Gingrich is clever, greedy and vicious, which is not at all the same as actually smart.

  25. Suebob Says:

    You’re right about Romney and his barely repressed anger. That’s why he can barely get anyone to vote for him – because people can sense the nasty Nixonesque pit bull hidden under the hair and suntan.

    I think I hate…oh, it IS hard to decide…I think I hate Santorum most because of his smug little weasel face and his belief that birth control is wrong and gay people are wronger.

  26. TG Says:

    What Debbie said.

    Matt Taibbi of Rolling Stone did an excellent profile of Rick Perry showing that he believes in nothing, called The Best Little Whore in Texas:

    http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/rick-perry-the-best-little-whore-in-texas-20111026

    love Matt Taibbi

  27. Typhon Says:

    Romney should scare the crap outta everyone. A Mormon in the White House?! No thanks. Newt is a creepy pedophile/Captain Kangaroo lookin dude. I don’t think Ron Paul is nuts, I just think he refuses to talk about the same old stuff that all the other candidates are and that kinda puts him in a vacuum. The other are out of the race so not worth worrying about.

  28. Chrystal Says:

    It would have to be Perry. I’m from Texas, and after he said “Make me president and I’ll make sure no gay’s join the military”, I was done! REALLY!! REALLY!! I don’t see you sending any of your fucking children in the army to blown up by al qaeda!!! If someone is brave enough to fight for ME, what the fuck should it matter if your gay, straight, black or white, tall, short!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!! Thank God he withdrew out of the race…ASSHOLE!!!

  29. John Says:

    I hate that Goddamn Fuckin Retard Mitt Romney too! Let me say that when he was the massachusettes Govenor he fucking lied right through his Fucking Lying Ugly assed teeth to me when I lost medical benefits because I was on Social Security Disability! HE said to me on my phone..”"Well if I cant get you your benefits back then noone can, Ill help you buddy.” Next thing I knew they were gone! Furthermore that HORSES ASS ruined MASSACHUSETTES ever since he left Mass its gotten ten times worse. MY opinion of him is he fucks shit up in one state then runs off to another one and points the finger at others like the President or hides behind the well thats how business works routine he gives to us the general public as if we dont know what the hell is going on!

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