I Had an Affair With President Kennedy,Too!

I wasn’t going to tell, but if everyone else is telling, I’m going to clear my conscience.

Not that I feel guilty. I was only ten years old and things happened so fast. Sure, I knew he was married. But he was so handsome and he was the President and I have Daddy Issues.   I wouldn’t call it “forced” sex but it wasn’t my idea. I didn’t even wear a bra yet. But I gave myself willingly, and by that I mean I just lay there thinking. “If only I could tell my mom about this!”

I never called him Jack or even John. He was always Mister President. When we swam together in the White House pool, I had to wear water wings, but Mister President told me they were sexy. He was so affectionate and sensual. Sometimes, as we relaxed in bed, he would help me with my math homework.

I do think he really cared for me, even if I wasn’t his only mistress. The way he looked at me…I could tell it was real. I’m not sorry about anything, but don’t ask me to explain the fish. Let’s just say it was very, very special.

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16 Responses to “I Had an Affair With President Kennedy,Too!”

  1. Dave C Says:

    Thought I recognised that fish from the Zapruder footage…

  2. annemarie Says:

    ahahahaha! Wow, you mimic the tone of Mimi perfectly! It’s amazing!

    You need to write fake memoirs for a living. How about one on Phyllis, the beautiful poetess?

  3. annemarie Says:

    This is funniest line I have ever read. I read it over one hour ago and I’m still laughing:
    But I gave myself willingly, and by that I mean I just lay there thinking, “If only I could tell my mom about this!”

  4. Cricket9 Says:

    Frankly, I don’t see how Mister President had any time left to do any presidencing with all these interns, actresses, and in general – the entire female population of US, not to mention – Jackie, being after him all the time. Who actually was minding the country? We behind the Iron Curtain were in even bigger peril from you than our governments were telling us!

  5. Juri Says:

    Back in 1962 I had plenty of passionate man on man (but not in a gay way, mind you, not that there’s anything wrong with it) action with Mister John Fitzgerald Kennedy. I was -6 years old. I called him Mister Fitz and he called me Señor Ju Ju Train. He would always send me home with a fish, after we had had our fun and smoked our cigarettes and weed. My mum was very glad in 1962 as I brought plenty of fish home.

  6. Cricket9 Says:

    Oh oh oh Juri, thank you for the best laugh in a week or two!

  7. Sister Wolf Says:

    Oh Juri, we could form a support group. It’s not that he took our innocence per se, but at the very least he took up our sunday school time and I was always afraid to undress in gym class. I think we may have helped with the Cuban missile practice, though.

  8. JK Says:

    Indeed Sis (Juri) I’m thinking you did valuable work for our Country – just thinking aloud though – I don’t think the missiles were Cuban.

  9. Debbie Says:

    You are CRAZY LOL!!!! Still laughing …!!!

    XOXO
    Deb

  10. Andra Says:

    Sister, do you think there may be an affair or two left in you for the next president of those United States?
    If so, who would you pick to be the lucky man?
    Would you have to bring your own fish?
    I believe these are all questions which need to be answered right now before things … ah, hot up, let us say, too much in the election schemozzle.

  11. David Duff Says:

    So did I!

  12. Sister Wolf Says:

    JK – Oh, I always get confused about that. It was a “crisis” though, right?

  13. Sister Wolf Says:

    Andra – What a repulsive idea!!!!! It would have to be Ron Paul. At least he’s a doctor.

  14. Sister Wolf Says:

    David – Hahahahahahaaahahhahahahaha!

  15. Marky Says:

    The fish is amazing.

  16. JK Says:

    Yes Sis, a crisis.

    No David, you’re thinking of Martin Van Buren.

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