Academy Awards 2012 Exegesis

As far as I’m concerned, the whole event was about Angelina’s leg.

When I saw the picture above, soon after the show ended, I was flabbergasted. It never occurred to me that it was a photoshopped joke. What an awful pose, I thought. I showed it to my husband, who said “So what, she’s just playing around.”

Somehow, I couldn’t imagine Angelina playing around on the red carpet, but why else would she want to pose like a frog?

By tonight, I had seen fifty thousand visual jokes about Angie’s leg, including a raw chicken and a Darth Vader. Everyone was having fun with Angie’s leg! The world was united in taking pleasure in her stupidity The internet was buzzing with jokes about jokes about Angie’s leg.

I remarked to my husband, “Wow, just think: with one stupid gesture, Angelina Jolie has totally fucked herself up.” He replied, “I disagree.”

Now, if you’re anything like me, and you certainly are, you cannot just let that go. A disagreement based on nothing has to be questioned, especially when it’s so blatantly wrong.

I tried again. “But the whole world is making fun of her! She used to have this mystique, people admired her, and now she’s a laughing stock.” He repeated in an irritated voice, “I said I disagree.”

So, I’m thinking, what is your evidence for disagreeing? Did you take a poll? Have you read several news reports, defending her honor and/or dignity? Do you think I’m lying?

I sputtered something about, Try googling the words “Angelina’s leg.” I told him that if he’d actually seen her on the stage, making that ridiculous gesture, he’d understand. He backed down but still withheld agreement.

Why are husbands like this? Is every day Opposite Day? Does it make them feel dominant to disagree? Is agreement some kind of castration thing? Years ago, my husband would defend some idea with the phrase “Most people blah blah blah.” After a few hundred times, I started to yell, “Oh yeah, which people? NAME THEM!” He has since dropped that gambit.

But I still rise to the bait of “I disagree.” It is infuriating, particularly in the context of no prior information to arrive at a position of disagreement. How should I handle this? Should I just say “Of course you disagree!?” I need a strategy.

Back to Angelina’s fucking leg: Do you feel sorry her? Or does she deserve it? Or, if you’re somebody’s husband, would you just like to disagree?

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62 Responses to “Academy Awards 2012 Exegesis”

  1. David Duff Says:

    “He replied, “I disagree.””

    ‘Quelle courage’! What a man! With only, probably, a kitchen table between him and the ‘She-Wolf’, and he has the ‘cojones’ to say “I disagree”! Put him on the Time magazine cover, give him a Congressional Medal of Honour, let me shake him by the hand. I can disagree with ‘Sis’ but then, you see, there is 10,000-odd miles between us!

  2. annemarie Says:

    Angelina absolutely deserved it.

    Also, WE deserve it: she’s the cunt who we are not supposed to laugh at. She is so much better than us! A first-time director whose awful, cornball film was nominated in the Best Film in a Foreign Language category (as if that category wasn’t already an insult to “foreigners”) and who consistently says the most stupid shit in interviews that’s clearly designed to make everyone think she’s mysterious and badass. As if that’s not enough, now she’s “found love” and we’re subjected to red-carpet histrionics of radiant smiles and white-knuckle hand-holding with Brad Pitt, another self-important prick. I’m so glad Angelina found love! Brad tamed her wild side!

    You cannot DISAGREE with any of the above because it is a FACT. Your husband needs to know the difference between Fact and Opinion.

  3. Beannie71 Says:

    He wants a fight is all. A decent verbal stoush is good for the soul. If it involves meaningless celebrites all the better. You are nothing if not a worthy opponent so give the man what he wants and take the bait.

  4. Winterbird Says:

    I think you’re a lucky girl. I would rather live with Mr. point/counter-point than a sycophant. We all know what happens to little girls who do not feel loved by their fathers. They turn out to be exhibitionist like Angelina and Jenny-from-da-block. Inevidabaly, they beg us to look at their nipples, ass’ and whatever else they can get away with exposing to polite society. It is a desperate cry for DADDY PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!

  5. Valorie Hart The Visual Vamp Says:

    Ha ha ha ha. My husband tells me I do that to him, that is disagree just to disagree.
    Too funny really.
    About Angie and her leg. No biggie. I’m an Argentine tango dancer, in a world of dresses with slits showing legs.
    Angie looked nice and showed some personality. For this she gets haters?
    The media, as usual, are the laughing stocks, to make a huge story about this.
    Always loving what you do Sister W.
    xo xo

  6. Kelly Says:

    As if the kids aren’t enough, Angie’s knee is also a reminder of malnutrition and starvation. Poor Angie can’t reconcile her wealth with kids dying daily, and her body is letting us know. I hope she finds peace.

    My husband routinely says things (based on his wacky logic) that are not ‘evidence-based’ in the words of today’s jargon. He chides me for wanting to know his sources. When he says technology is ruining modern life I turn a shade of incredible-hulk green. Sometimes I argue, sometimes I don’t. At least we agreed that Angie should’ve put her knee away, but he thought she was pretentious.

  7. Sprockets Says:

    “I disagree” is Manspeak for “shut up.” It is of course unacceptable, but 95% of the way men relate to us is unacceptable. This is why marriage is so difficult that it’s almost impossible.

    The problem I have with “I disagree” is that it does imply that the other person has thought about the issue in question, which I’m sure is not the case here. Sometimes men get that faraway look in their eyes that, in a woman’s eyes, would mean she was thinking deeply about something, but with a man it only means he’s about to fart or he’s wondering if he can get you to make him a snack.

    No man gets away with this with me, of course. I keep expecting men to be fully evolved human beings. I keep being disappointed, but it’s something I have a right to expect. The “most people think such-and-such” argument might have gotten him killed if he were within my reach. That is a blatant and childish attempt to invalidate your position, and as such as screamworthy. That is flush-the-toilet-while-you’re-showering material. That is almost at the put-salt-in-your-coffee level, but maybe not quite unless you can remember another equally horrible thing he’s said in the last hour (you probably can).

    He thinks he has found the perfect response with “I disagree,” because – as I’m sure he would point out with gross self-righteousness – he is entitled to his opinions, stupid as they are. He probably thinks the “I disagree” response is unchallengeable, but it is not. In fact, “I disagree” is an opening response, not a closing one. If he wants to be taken seriously he does have to tell you how he arrived at that position. A thinking person does not disagree without reason.

    If he does that again, try responding with feigned interest. “Do you? That’s intriguing. What is your take on this subject?” His “take” has to be more than “I disagree with you” if he wants to claim any credibility in the future. Listen patiently to his response, look him deeply in the eyes and then say “I disagree.”

  8. Witch Moma Says:

    1. Marketers will say it’s only important that she’s IN the news, nobody cares why or if it’s good or bad.
    2. Disagreeing husbands are still better than milquetoast husbands.

  9. candy Says:

    I was reading and didn’t finish reading you post when I said to myself “gosh SW husband always seems to disagree with her”..that’s my impression. Then I read the rest. Sometimes we can’t do anything about disagreeing husbands but it’s better to communicate and discuss things than the silence treatment.
    There is something about the leg, maybe we don’ tsee them much and she is trying to show them off.

  10. annemarie Says:

    @ Witch Moma– I love the word milquetoast! well-deployed!

  11. sisty Says:

    I want to meet your husband. I think he’s trying to express the depths of his profound indifference to Angelina Jolie.

    The other day, I told my husband I was going to saute something in peanut oil, because we were out of super high oleic extra virgin canola oil from the delicate sweat glands of naiads (his preference). I said, “Besides, we only eat this dish once a year, so there’s nothing to worry about, health-wise.” And he said, “I disagree.”

    He didn’t want a fight. He just didn’t want me to be right.

    And that picture is hilarious.

  12. andrea Says:

    It may have been a dare between her and Brad or her and Clooney, and she did it. If it wasn’t, she comes across as incredibly conceited because she is standing there and her gesture says “Look at me, I am the most beautiful woman on earth and I am better than any of these people in every way”. Do you think that she really thinks that? That she is that insecure that she has to put it all out there lest you don’t see it. Btw, I was watching the movie “Gia” the other day, where she plays the model that becomes an addict and dies of Aids, and her face looks completely different. Her nose is almost piggish, and her jawline is smaller. She was a nice looking girl, but I was too at that age. So her “otherworldly beauty” came to her with the help of a scalpel. How come no one ever calls her out on this?

  13. Sam Says:

    Maybe he just disagrees?

  14. Andra Says:

    Witch Mama is correct.

    So is Sam.

    Move on, Sis.

  15. Sister Wolf Says:

    Sam – Do you think so? That’s intriguing. What is your take on this subject?

    Andra – Really? That’s intriguing, too.

    Sprockets: Stay close. I will be needing you.

    Valorie – Yes but do you ostentatiously stick out your leg and then wait for an entire room full of people to react? I like that you’re the one who disagrees. I may try that.

  16. Sister Wolf Says:

    sisty – Wow. Your husband is hard core.

    annemarie – Thank you for mentioning the hand-holding. It’s so desperate.

  17. Debbie Says:

    My husband disagrees with me all the effing time and when he does I just say really loud “BLACK” or “WHITE” because no matter what I say he says the opposite. As for Angelina’s leg, what an ugly, white, nobby horse leg and YES she made a fool of herself with that stupid pose on the stage. Also, the entire world is now talking about her “issues” and she’s obviously anorexic, and she used to be a heroin addict, and she kissed her brother on the lips, and on and on and on and I don’t like her, never have. :)

  18. Cricket9 Says:

    Interesting discussion! I’m with Sam and Andra – she tends to be (almost) always right. At least, SW, your husband does not contradict your EVERY single statement and/or opinion, like a husband I know. His wife ignores it and goes about her business.
    As for Angie – she’s becoming skeletal, her face was looking like a skull with giant red lips. I still quite like her though, for some unknown reason.

  19. brunehilda Says:

    I thought it was funny and I’m sure she’ll survive

  20. madame o Says:

    Gawd that photo is so apropos! Her real pose at the Oscars, either on the red carpet or giving the award, was so contrived, and whacked out that she seemed either doped, dared(as Andrea suggests) or damn dumb. She did show that while she may be beautiful and at the top in Tinkletown, she can look like an absolute idiot. Too bad she had to wear the bottom part of the gown at all (maybe next year!)—Do you think she need some wolf whistles, Sister? She cheapend herself in my estimation. If some men and women found it sexy, I can’t imagine they couldn’t also see the absolute ridulousness of her pre-porno stance. Clooney’s wrestler friend had much more elan. Angie babe just plummeted into low altitude.

  21. Miss Cavendish Says:

    I was embarrassed for her on stage, as the pose was so unnatural, deliberate, and unflattering. If a Clooney-Pitt dare, ok; but otherwise, cringeworthy.

  22. Dexter VanDango Says:

    This explains it all:
    The adrenaline produced when made angry is exactly the same adrenaline produced when you’re made sexually aroused. And smart men know it’s far easier to irritate a woman than to arouse her. So we pick fights, get your chemicals churning, then apologize at the right moment, which causes you furies to switch into hornies.
    Who says women are the only manipulators?

  23. Sister Wolf Says:

    Dexter – You are the most consistently off-target and/or inaccurate commenter I have yet encountered. It sounds like you need a good lay. Could you please masturbate before you comment next time? Thanks. xo

  24. Sister Wolf Says:

    Miss Cavendish – Me too! It was almost like when Lauren Bacall started to have a stroke or something…remember?

  25. Cyndi Says:

    (New here; love your work!)

    While I’m not sure leg-gate will ruin Angie, I also live with a man who almost always takes the counter point to my rants, even when I know he agrees. I think Dexter may have a point.

  26. Debra Says:

    That image is hilarious! My Husband disagrees with me all the time, it’s like this dance we have and it is so frustrating. Sometimes I just make shit up so he can disagree with me. I do think if you are going to disagree you need to have some logical reasons why. Something my Husband always says when he is tired of arguing is “that’s the end of it”. In my mind, that statement means it’s only the beginning. Dexter, really? I know a few things about adrenaline, since I’ve lived with massive anxiety most of my adult life, it doesn’t make me horny. It’s my husbands sexy eyes and the touch of his hand that does.

  27. patni Says:

    i think it is what a marriage is. It is what my parents have been doing for 52years. They claim to love each other and be happy spending time. I think they like to fight. I also think it maybe why i am better off unmarried.

  28. WendyB Says:

    She looks like she’s airing out her crotch. Too hot and sticky up there?

  29. Dexter VanDango Says:

    I shall restrain or refrain in the future.. but wasn’t the topic.. at least partially, contrary husbands????

  30. Make Do Style Says:

    Wendy B!! Ugh it makes me all feel sick. Supposed dares/in jokes are never funny unless you are in in it. I actually don’t care about her or her legs/anything. I think the only funny thing has been the twitter accounts set up reflection her head, her left leg and her right leg but are these funny? Only for 5 mins. Sounds like Mr Wolf was bored sand didn’t really have an opinion but at least Mr Duff wants to give him a medal

  31. Make Do Style Says:

    Oh boy my typos above are horrendous read second in for on and reflection as reflecting

  32. Sister Wolf Says:

    Make Do – Hahahahhahaha, true, he has won a medal.

    Dexter – But you’re not my husband!

    Cyndi – (Thank you) What the hell is it with the counter-point? It’s such a waste of time unless you’re arguing about determinism or the death penalty.

  33. Sister Wolf Says:

    Debra – I like your subversive mindset. I need to try this. I have done it with my kid…I think it used to be called “reverse psychology.” Husbands shouldn’t be so oppositional.

    madame o – Are you referring to George Clooney’s current beard? Ha! She is a giantess. Let’s give them another 6 months.

  34. Sister Wolf Says:

    patni – Yeah, stay single, at least until they make up a diagnosis for this shit in the next version of the DMS.

  35. Sister Wolf Says:

    Wendy B – I sense arid…like a Barbie, with no actual female parts.

    Debbie – Nobby horse leg is good.

    brunehilda – Really? That’s intriguing.

  36. David Duff Says:

    To demonstrate my support for you, Dexter, I am standing right behind you! As usual, you are entirely right. I used to disagree with the ‘Memsahib’ just to get her, um, juices flowing, as it were, but then, suddenly, about 46 years ago (we’ve been married for 47 years) she stopped listening to me. Difficult to believe, I know, but it’s true. Bloody crafty, these ‘wimmin’!

  37. Dolly Says:

    I’m sure she’ll survive, but God I’m really enjoying having a laugh at her! That pose looks so contrived. Its almost like she’s got an artificial leg under there, or that she’s doing that thing you did when you were young if you had just had your ears pierced so you wore you hair up for ages to draw attention to them. “Oh look my dress has a large slit up the side, see my leg just pops right out!! See it? That happens because I’m sexy and mysterious and slightly weird.”

  38. Jeri Says:

    Yes, arid like a barbie up top too! No reason to feel embarrassed for her, she is as evil, but not as smart, as Horrible Hillary. These two excuses for women are busy promoting war and imperialism around the globe. Two dangerous cunts!

  39. sonja Says:

    I had a husband who took the opposite approach – and it disgusted me. the worst thing about it was that he garnered this wisdom from a stand-up comedy routine he heard on the radio, and he applied it to our relationship on a daily basis thereafter. ‘To keep your wife off your back always answer in the affirmative.’ I’d ask a question, without even looking up at me he would respond with, ‘uh huh, yep, sure’ end of discussion. Notice I say I HAD a husband who did that…

  40. sonja Says:

    oh, and I think Angelina must have been jacked on something. that was so weird and embarrassing. Maybe she was trying to prove that she doesn’t need any of the goddamned awards that no one was going to give her. Maybe it was an ‘FU, I win the Hottest Woman in the World Award!’ Major backfire.

  41. Dru Says:

    Sister – I have no husband, but my parents – both of them – used to do this to each other, as well as to me. So did my best friend, but then he was quite open about the fact that he was trolling, so it wasn’t nearly as infuriating. (also I occasionally tricked him into agreeing with me by siccing arguments I didn’t believe in on him sometimes – it was fun).

    I’ve long since given up expecting movie stars to behave like normal people so the leg is just another day at the office, but I did like Emma Stone’s neck-bow and funny little sketch.

    Sprocket -“Sometimes men get that faraway look in their eyes that, in a woman’s eyes, would mean she was thinking deeply about something”

    I’m female, and have been told I get that same look on my face sometimes. I really hated having to disillusion the boy who said it to me by admitting that what I was thinking really deeply about was what to have for lunch (and also where to stock up on tampons, wasn’t going to say that part out loud though).

  42. Juri Says:

    She showed her legs to save Billy Crystal’s face! I only managed to endure a few long minutes of the show around the tedious Wizard of Oz focus group skit and some useless jokes by Billy Crystal. I don’t remember the jokes but I do remember that, apart from the usual “why do they keep using this … this .. person,” I found myself wondering “what the hell has happened to his face.” He looked like a bloated wax doll or a drowned man talking. I was horrified. Then I changed the channel.

    Angelina saw that too and, being a better person than Jesus, Dalai Lama and Bono together, she did what she had to do. She offered herself for a greater good like those Buddhist monks who would set themselves on fire as a protest against this or that evil. She is indeed a saint.

  43. Juri Says:

    *sacrificed herself!

  44. Dexter VanDango Says:

    Yes, David.. the opposite of love is truly not hate but indifference..

  45. Dexter VanDango Says:

    Sister scolding me… David agreeing with me.. why do I suddenly feel I’m on shaky ground..?

  46. David Duff Says:

    Man up, Dexter! Remember, I’m right behind you, er, some distance back but still . . .

  47. Dexter VanDango Says:

    David, you’ve reminded me of the old saying, “Behind every successful man there’s a woman pushing him toward a younger and more pleasant woman.” ..okay… I made that up..

  48. Andra Says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJleJbn9G6Y

    Rolf Harris does a “shtick” with an extra leg.
    I guess that’s where she got the idea.

  49. Sprockets Says:

    Sister, I am close.

  50. Karin Says:

    My boyfriend does the same thing. When he says “I disagree” (which he almost ALWAYS does – if he ever agreed with me on something I would faint), I say “Of course you do” and walk away. Only thing that keeps me sane. Completely aggravating.

  51. divalou Says:

    I don’t care, I’d still bang her. And Brad. All the goddamn day long!

  52. Sam Says:

    Really Angelina’s leg is such a non story, there is nothing deep about it and the affect it has on her; for that matter any of these types of actions certainly do not need analysing. All she did was look like a dick and we all had a bit of fun at her expense. I don’t agree that it will have any affect on her reputation and I’m not even sure what that reputation is. What honour? What mystic? She is just a person who happens to also be a celebrity. Surely there are more pressing matters in the world where we should really focus any serious energy?

  53. georgs Says:

    You seem like a dominant bitch for forcing your husband to *agree* on such a trivial matter. If he disagrees, that may very well be his position.

  54. TheShoeGirl Says:

    Hey Sister… long time no comment. This picture makes me very happy. Angelina was acting like an asshole on the red carpet and this pose isn’t really much worse than how she was really posing. But feel free to disagree ;)
    xox

  55. kate Says:

    sometimes my husband just says “yeah… yeah, uh huh!” in this overly agreeable voice… and it pisses me off to no end.

  56. Ryan Says:

    I disagree.

    People will forget about the leg tomorrow but now angelina is even more engrained in their minds.

  57. Sister Wolf Says:

    Ryan – First, you must learn to spell ingrained.

  58. RCS Says:

    people – don’t hate her because she’s beautiful.

  59. Para Says:

    ever think people laughing at you isn’t a bad thing? if she did the pose for a joke, they might as-well be laughing with her. and “she used to be full of mystique” now blogs and comments are full of her. All publicity is good publicity. At least she’s not adopting half of Africa or losing her looks. she can have a laugh, look hot, and still own the red carpet.

    Props to fish-face.

  60. charles Says:

    i agree with your husband and its not because im a male, the fact that u type in angelinas legs and she pops up says that the publicity did nothing but strengthen her career im mean think about it, this coming from the woman that adopts the world and wears blood around her neck as a token of affection is nothing. I say let me be in the news that much about my legs and ill ride it till they fall off
    to you and your readers’
    The Chuck

  61. Eelainee Says:

    Head off, preoccupation ruined, hard times (rather than hard ons… :-D), and so on, and commas everywhere, dammit !

    GIMME TIPP-EX !

    Have a nice day.

  62. strawberries Says:

    omg my bed partner does this too. i have coined a term +or it because it happens so o+ten…’de+ending the inde+ensible.’

    i +ind it endearing sometimes. he’s a contrary cheeky thing…we haven’t been together that long -can you tell?

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