Academy Awards 2012 Exegesis

As far as I’m concerned, the whole event was about Angelina’s leg.

When I saw the picture above, soon after the show ended, I was flabbergasted. It never occurred to me that it was a photoshopped joke. What an awful pose, I thought. I showed it to my husband, who said “So what, she’s just playing around.”

Somehow, I couldn’t imagine Angelina playing around on the red carpet, but why else would she want to pose like a frog?

By tonight, I had seen fifty thousand visual jokes about Angie’s leg, including a raw chicken and a Darth Vader. Everyone was having fun with Angie’s leg! The world was united in taking pleasure in her stupidity The internet was buzzing with jokes about jokes about Angie’s leg.

I remarked to my husband, “Wow, just think: with one stupid gesture, Angelina Jolie has totally fucked herself up.” He replied, “I disagree.”

Now, if you’re anything like me, and you certainly are, you cannot just let that go. A disagreement based on nothing has to be questioned, especially when it’s so blatantly wrong.

I tried again. “But the whole world is making fun of her! She used to have this mystique, people admired her, and now she’s a laughing stock.” He repeated in an irritated voice, “I said I disagree.”

So, I’m thinking, what is your evidence for disagreeing? Did you take a poll? Have you read several news reports, defending her honor and/or dignity? Do you think I’m lying?

I sputtered something about, Try googling the words “Angelina’s leg.” I told him that if he’d actually seen her on the stage, making that ridiculous gesture, he’d understand. He backed down but still withheld agreement.

Why are husbands like this? Is every day Opposite Day? Does it make them feel dominant to disagree? Is agreement some kind of castration thing? Years ago, my husband would defend some idea with the phrase “Most people blah blah blah.” After a few hundred times, I started to yell, “Oh yeah, which people? NAME THEM!” He has since dropped that gambit.

But I still rise to the bait of “I disagree.” It is infuriating, particularly in the context of no prior information to arrive at a position of disagreement. How should I handle this? Should I just say “Of course you disagree!?” I need a strategy.

Back to Angelina’s fucking leg: Do you feel sorry her? Or does she deserve it? Or, if you’re somebody’s husband, would you just like to disagree?

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62 Responses to “Academy Awards 2012 Exegesis”

  1. divalou Says:

    I don’t care, I’d still bang her. And Brad. All the goddamn day long!

  2. Sam Says:

    Really Angelina’s leg is such a non story, there is nothing deep about it and the affect it has on her; for that matter any of these types of actions certainly do not need analysing. All she did was look like a dick and we all had a bit of fun at her expense. I don’t agree that it will have any affect on her reputation and I’m not even sure what that reputation is. What honour? What mystic? She is just a person who happens to also be a celebrity. Surely there are more pressing matters in the world where we should really focus any serious energy?

  3. georgs Says:

    You seem like a dominant bitch for forcing your husband to *agree* on such a trivial matter. If he disagrees, that may very well be his position.

  4. TheShoeGirl Says:

    Hey Sister… long time no comment. This picture makes me very happy. Angelina was acting like an asshole on the red carpet and this pose isn’t really much worse than how she was really posing. But feel free to disagree 😉
    xox

  5. kate Says:

    sometimes my husband just says “yeah… yeah, uh huh!” in this overly agreeable voice… and it pisses me off to no end.

  6. Ryan Says:

    I disagree.

    People will forget about the leg tomorrow but now angelina is even more engrained in their minds.

  7. Sister Wolf Says:

    Ryan – First, you must learn to spell ingrained.

  8. RCS Says:

    people – don’t hate her because she’s beautiful.

  9. Para Says:

    ever think people laughing at you isn’t a bad thing? if she did the pose for a joke, they might as-well be laughing with her. and “she used to be full of mystique” now blogs and comments are full of her. All publicity is good publicity. At least she’s not adopting half of Africa or losing her looks. she can have a laugh, look hot, and still own the red carpet.

    Props to fish-face.

  10. charles Says:

    i agree with your husband and its not because im a male, the fact that u type in angelinas legs and she pops up says that the publicity did nothing but strengthen her career im mean think about it, this coming from the woman that adopts the world and wears blood around her neck as a token of affection is nothing. I say let me be in the news that much about my legs and ill ride it till they fall off
    to you and your readers’
    The Chuck

  11. Eelainee Says:

    Head off, preoccupation ruined, hard times (rather than hard ons… :-D), and so on, and commas everywhere, dammit !

    GIMME TIPP-EX !

    Have a nice day.

  12. strawberries Says:

    omg my bed partner does this too. i have coined a term +or it because it happens so o+ten…’de+ending the inde+ensible.’

    i +ind it endearing sometimes. he’s a contrary cheeky thing…we haven’t been together that long -can you tell?

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