I’m not afraid of snakes, spiders or bees. I’m not afraid of death. I’m just afraid of everything else.
Today, I was afraid to walk down my driveway because I saw a Thing that looked like a cat but wouldn’t move when I honked my horn at it. I’m terrified of possums and raccoons and squirrels, all of which inhabit my urban neighborhood. (Signs of the apocalypse, obviously.)
I’m so afraid of falling that I dread taking a walk. I fell last week and skinned my knees but it was traumatizing to hit the pavement. After breaking my pelvis and hip by falling, I feel deeply unsafe about my body. Why don’t other people fall and break?
I’m afraid of hospitals, now that I know what happens there. I’m afraid of lice, rodents, thunder, large knives, and medical disorders like fistulas and prolapse of the uterus or bladder.
I hate being so fearful. Many of these fears are new ones, and I’m not including the universal ones like clowns and cancer. It’s strange to be vulnerable to so many fears at a time when I contemplate every tall structure with the question of whether it’s high enough for jumping, should I choose to depart.
Fears or diagnoses, anyone?