Madonna, I’m Begging

I can’t take much more of Madge’s provocations. Obviously the UN is helpless, just like with Syria.

Who would think that she’d still be so insistent about bothering us! Has the competition from Lady Gaga driven her out of her mind? Has she forgotten that she’s already showed us everything in that book “Sex?” Does she have any sympathy for her children? Does she even remember that little baby she bought in Malawi?

I need her to go away. I’ve needed this for so many years. There is no escape from her. I thought I had transferred my hatred to Ms. Gaga but no, now she will have to flash her 53 year old nipple if she wants my attention.

It seems like people are going out of their way just to make me mad! That fucking Gwyneth has been working overtime on twitter to get me going. I refuse to give her the satisfaction of responding.

Gwyneth, go ahead and call people Niggas! Keep working on Goop! Make as many country records as you want. I am focusing my wrath on Madge only, and hoping I can manifest a little “accident” for her if I concentrate hard enough.

All other irritants pale next to Madonna but here are some you can add to if you like.

Pierce Piers Morgan
Lana Del Rey
Kristen Stewart
pictures of cats, pizza, and hippies cavorting in the woods
Snow White movies
people who say “Rye rye rye” in agreement, instead of just saying “right,”
diminutive names for Justin Bieber
ostentatious neck tattoos
band names like “Foster the People.”
Mitt and Anne Romney

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28 Responses to “Madonna, I’m Begging”

  1. Beannie71 Says:

    Rye rye rye makes my eyes bleed. Well done for brining this atrocity to to our attention

  2. sharnek Says:

    A lot of these things / people haven’t infiltrated the UK yet, but I will possible inflict harm if someone said ‘Rye, rye, rye’. I will admit to having a soft spot for Madonna, She’s like an embarrassing Aunty. My loathing of Piers Morgan runs deep though.

  3. That's Not My Age Says:

    Why did she have to do that? It just looks desperate and sad. Surely she proved her point with the Express Yourself/Born This Way medley?

  4. MizLottie Says:

    Pathetic piece of gristle. The one trend she hasn’t tried is dignity.

  5. annemarie Says:

    I never heard of “rye, rye, rye” til now.

    You know how i feel about Madonna. If you ever want to pool hatred, please call me. The only reason i love Cher is because once i read that she described Madonna as “just a cunt.” I don’t know if this is true– i hope it is. I also love Boy George because he too said she was a talentless cunt.

    I have two people to add to this list. They’re odd choices, given my lack of exposure to popular culture, but here they are:

    RYAN GOSLING– I’m so sick of his face. I hate the way his bottom lip sticks out. The final straw came while watching The Ides of March (crap) on a plane. He can’t play someone who is managing a political campaign. He looks too thick to do anything beyond selling Care Bears and kissing girls. He needs to not be in any more movies that depict real people doing real jobs. Apart from his bottom lip, I also don’t like his eyebrows. I don’t know what they are trying to communicate.

    EMMA STONE– oh god, again, that awful chipmunk face. The smugness. The chipperness. The cuteness. God, she’s just disgusting.

  6. annemarie Says:

    oh wait, I CANNOT STAND Garance Dore and The Sartorialist. They are completely and utterly disgusting. She can be kind of charming, admittedly, but they’ve become a two-headed monster, dedicated to making the whole world throw up.
    He, of course, is the worst.
    Check this out:
    http://vimeo.com/8562916

    (in advance, I’m sorry)

  7. Debbie Says:

    I LOVE YOU. You hate everyone I hate.

    And as for the ostentatious neck tattoos, over here where I live (a little further east than east L.A) they tell you who the gang-banging murderers are. Now that’s for real.

    SMOOCHES!
    XOXO
    Deb

  8. Ann Says:

    Of course we hate the same people and things! Madonna just needs to stop. And I love how much Elton John hates her too. There is nothing like the wrath of an angry queen.

  9. Su Says:

    Piers Morgan? If that’s who you mean, then I agree that he’s a bellend of the highest order.

  10. annemarie Says:

    Elton John too? DELIGHTED to have this new fact occupy my brain. Oh, it feels lovely there.

  11. dexter vandango Says:

    I agree with every single word!

    (..and Piers Morgan’s repeated grovelling at the feet of Donald Trump has to be the most craven most nauseating display of toadyism seen in years..)

  12. Andra Says:

    Rye rye rye!!??

    What the fuck ……….

  13. patni Says:

    agree with it all. Rye is whiskey or bread. And madonna hideous gristly form must be stopped..

  14. smr Says:

    I hate Craig Ferguson, why has the US given him a show.

  15. dexter vandango Says:

    Smr.. you shall watch this link and you shall be converted.. and your profuse apologies will be graciously accepted..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9P4SxtphJ4

  16. Madam Restora Says:

    I think by this stage even Madonna has probably started hating herself. I have no idea who Piers Morgan is.

  17. Andra Says:

    Well, I’ve never heard of this Piers Morgan person either so I googled him.

    I love Jeremy Clarkson and if Jeremy Clarkson punched him 3 times and poured a glass of water over this Piers Morgan person, that’s good enough for me.

    Wikipedia –“In October 2003, journalist and television personality Jeremy Clarkson reportedly emptied a glass of water over Morgan during the last flight of Concorde.[56] In March 2004, at the British Press Awards, Clarkson punched Morgan three times in a clash over The Mirror’s coverage of his private life, and accusations that Clarkson did not write for his column in The Sun himself.[56] Morgan reported on a rapprochement with Clarkson in the epilogue of his book, Don’t You Know Who I Am?.”

  18. Sister Wolf Says:

    Andra – If only everyone could punch Piers Morgan in the face three times! What a wonderful story. Thank you so much for brightening my bad day! xoxo

  19. Sister Wolf Says:

    smr – Cannot stand Craig Ferguson.

  20. regularstarfish Says:

    I’m sick of that damn 50 Shades of Grey hullabaloo. Oh, and Rihanna and Katy Perry. I hate everything about those 2 – the way they dress, their awful color choices, everything.

  21. Bevitron Says:

    This is why I love it here, Sister Wolf – I have to look up all kinds of stuff to know who in the hell these people and things are. There were a couple of faces that I recognized but never really knew who I was hating. Now I feel more confident about it!

    Around these parts that horrible “rye rye rye” thing is usually expressed as “right” said about seven times in very rapid succession with kind of a glottal stop on the end of each right instead of the “t” sound. It’s like the croak of a huge frog.

  22. Mel Says:

    I can’t stand RIHANNA and her lovers/boyfriends/rude boys. All the attention they get for beating upon each other is insufferable. I hate her for singing things like “Come here rude boy-oy and hit me with a shovel” and crying afterwards because someone actually/finally did it. And presenting her as a Chinese princess featuring Coldplay is just wrong too. I’m sorry.

    And Madge is just embarrassing – I would love to see her age with dignity instead of nipplegates!

  23. Sister Wolf Says:

    regularstarafish – Check, I hate all three, for the same reasons.

    annemarie – Of god, Garance Dore, can’t even stand her name. And the satorialist, I have hated him from the very beginning. I wish someone else besides me would hate Advanced Style!

    Debbie – Gang-bangers get a pass, of course.

    Bevitron – EXACTLY.

  24. Iron Chic Says:

    I know I’m late to this…but I hate when bloggers use “nom nom nom” to indicate eating sounds.

  25. dana Says:

    How come male rockers can keep on doing their thing and don’t take shit for it? Oh yeah, sexism. But honestly Madge, get out there and rock your thing for the fun of it, not so that everyone can see your bizarrely overgroomed and surgically preserved self.

  26. RedHeadFashionista Says:

    I like Kristen Stewart. But I’ll offer up Cheryl Cole in her place.

  27. patni Says:

    O sister wolf, very late comment. Thank GOD some one else hates advanced style. I do not want to have to look like a clown to be considered attractive as i age. Eeeewww, age used like that sounds gross. Let us say as i continue to shrivel on toward death.

  28. Monica Says:

    Americans who use British slang in place of American-English dialect, i.e., “Oy” instead of “Hey”, “Bloody” instead of “fucking”, “mate” instead of friend.

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